Amusing thread time since the last one is getting a little emo
I'm taking a leave of absence from here for a while because my finals start in just over a month. I considered flouncing wormulus style, but knew half of you would love that and the other half wouldn't give a shit, so instead I thought I'd ask all the alt q's that have been rattling round my head for the last few days, but haven't had time or that much inclination to ask:

If you could be a virus, bacteria or spore, which would you be and what/who would you attack?

Cherry coke or dr pepper?

If your kidneys can still function with 2/3 destroyed, how much longer will you live your current lifestyle?

What's for lunch?

/shit thread is shit
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:13, 165 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What would you say in your flounce about me?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:14, Reply)

i think
becky's silence is eloquent enough here.


damn.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

It'd take too long to type on my phone, so stop attention seeking

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

You should write it out when you take a break from revision.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

virus
not sure what sort, but I'd attack stupid people and make them shit themselves without warning.

neither

quite a while. I don't drink much
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I think I'd prefer an epic flounce
With plenty of name-checking insults.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I don't think I could do one that would be insulting enough.
Or if I could it would only be insulting to people who I actually like.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Yeah I'm too nice to actually lay into some folk
Jizzbox doesn't share that flaw though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

you're a shitbag and you know it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:19, Reply)

True
But I still can't be truly horrible to people I don't like.
In fact, if I'm heavily insulting you, it's a good indication that I like you.
Unless you're a monumental pissface.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

a monumental pissface like TGB?
I'm pretty much the same. Far more insulting to people I like
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

why would you say that?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

because I like you so much

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

aww

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:40, Reply)

*high fives*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

+ in the face

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Oh gnarly flaps you're too kind

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

And there was I about to say
"Typical of her, starts a thread then fucks off."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

she hasn't replied to my gaz.
the cow
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

No cock pic, no reply
Dems da rulez.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

oh man
I need to get my panoramic lens out again.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I started this thread so I wouldn't have to piss about gazzing you. Fucking shitweasel!
I'm all about time management ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

fucking charming
what if I wanted a heart-to-heart eh?

you're all about ball-busting
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

We haven't had a heart to heart in ages. I miss them :( december we shall have more. Promise
Until then...xoxo
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

we'd better
cos if we don't....

*shakes fist*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Sorry cuntface, I will soon though. THEN YOU'LL MISS ME and cry and shit.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Eh, see you in a few weeks

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Totally gonna make you cry

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

In a good way, right?
I'll buy your kindness with a MTFU badge.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Mine would be along the lines of:
Vipros, you're a smug cunt
Monty, you're a music cunt
Agnostic Antichrist, you're a tranny cunt
Labia Majora, you're a spikey haired cunt
Darth, you're a gay cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Nice to have a theme running through your work

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

C+
Must do better
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

WHERE'S MY VALIDATION EH?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

you're a beat me at pool cunt

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Don't feel too bad
He beat TGB at air hockey too. And Kaol at life.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

The table was rigged
RIGGED
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I don't care
You made me hold your bag, and then Clendrix told me off when I whack-a-mole'd it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

*narrows eyes*
I'd forgotten about that
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

nobody's ever beaten me at air hockey
i think that and table tennis are my only two sports.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Yeah, they'd totally put a much better player than you at the other end.
THOSE BASTARDS.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Sadly, unless I manage to find a better girlfriend than Mel, Kaol's still winning that one.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Might be hard
Mel is lovely in every way apart from her taste in men.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:38, Reply)

And the fact she's welsh

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Aww I didn't get a mention.
Even Bert mentioned me in his flounce. I has a sad.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)

Plus the fact that you'll be facing each other over the next month at some point or another.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I'm going to wear a fake beard.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I think I'd prefer that too
I think it is clear from my reply above that I did not read most of the OP
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Spore, because I like the word.
Neither.
I live quite healthly already.
Chicken sarnie.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:18, Reply)

You cracked then?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:19, Reply)

I did : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

good girl
how long will it take till you are eating steak?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Never.
Don't miss it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

you weirdo ;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

But which spore?
That's really the important* question.

*Entirely unimportant question that no-one really cares about.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

How the hell do I know.
I don't even know what a spore is.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I'd be Influenza, as it's a right twat. I'd attack David Cameron, wipe that smug fucking smile off his face
Dr Pepper, every time.
About a week.
Meatball marinara salad.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:20, Reply)

I'd destroy everyone in the media that talks about people who earn over £44,000 as Middle England

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I'd be cat aids
I'd destroy Kaol
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:22, Reply)

you win

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

He might sic his deadly menagerie on you.
Have you heard about the size of his snake?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I loved how his rat pissed on Wookiee

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Shat on, please.
Both of 'em did, I think. Lucky me.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:25, Reply)

That was it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Can I just interrupt this broadcast to say:
vacuum storage bags with valve - one quid from Poundland. Hours of fun.
(Do not use on living things.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Is the bracket after you almost killed catface?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Either that
Or she was trying a new version of auto-erotic asphyxiation.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:36, Reply)

How much are they?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Oi, smartarse, sometimes things are 2-for-£1 in there.
So nyah.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)

what do they do?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Before I moved out of my last place, I discovered you can vacuum seal large dead fish into small packages and hide them in former flatmates rooms.
Update from the flatmate I got on well with last week to say bad flatmate still hasn't found the 3rd package yet. I moved in July.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

PRION.
Prions are awesome.

Don't care. Sticky fizzy drinks are gash.

I'm more worried about the missing bits of lung than any potential kidney damage.

Ham hock & cheddar sammiches.

LINE BREAKS.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Validating your line breaks
Hard
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Prions are just proteins with a superiority complex.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)

The common cold
Cherry coke just about edges it.

Ages, I don't drink much.

Boiga.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:24, Reply)

diet cherry coke
lunch was spent at a talk on how the new equality act 2010 (came into force yesterday for those of you who are lucky enough not to need to know anything about this particular piece of law) affects property transactions.

and no lunch for me because the sandwiches were fucking shit (cheddar dipped in sweet chili AGAIN don't they notice nobody ever eats those things and cucumber and butter). luckily i'm going out for dinner tonight to get over this trauma.

anyway, all in all, an Epic Lunch Fail, 0/10, would not suffer again voluntarily.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Could you not have asked them to make you something else?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

no
it's platters. for some reason they eschew normal things like houmous and vegetables or cheese and onion or egg mayonnaise in favour of wacki fillings that nobody touches with a bargepole. well, apart from the officehoovers who go back time and time again.

also sandwiches make me feel physically sick when the bread starts to dry up a bit, something about it makes me shudder. this is ALWAYS the case with platters, they take the lids off ages before the meeting starts. vile.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Then demand change!
Speak to your pay-masters and request a finer spread. Tell them productivity will improve if you don't have to waste their time posting messages on B3ta about the shoddy platters.

Either that, or make sure you've always got an apple and a banana in your bag.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Cheddar dipped in chilli? cucumber and butter?
What the FUCK is going on here, rach', get them to "Sort it out, for fucks' sake, before someone causes a micheif".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

oh man, I don't think I could live with the guilt of causing anyone serious harm so I'll go with strep, totally attacking anyone thats a bitch
dr. pepper, but on in winter and it has to be super cold
not too sure, probably wouldn't stop
lunch is too far away to think about...but probably a salad
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:31, Reply)

what's strep?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)

She means strep throat
Streptococcus are a family of bacteria that can cause sore throats, meningitis, bacterial pneumonia etc.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:10, Reply)

ooh I feel educated
I thought it might be another word for mono which I understand is glandular fever.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Viruses because they're awesome
I would go Stephen King's 'The Stand' on stupid people.
Dr Pepper every time.
Ages - I'm fucking dull.
Shepherds pie and a twirl.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:34, Reply)

None
Cherry Coke

Ages. Cider rots all of your organs at the same rate, probably, I'd just get a bit smaller.

Tuna and peppers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Good luck with your exams.
Virus, cos they're well the best. I'd be a highly evolved and specific strain of ebola that targeted only cunts.
Neither, I hate fizzy drinks.
I'm a student, how much longer do you think?
Salad sandwich and an apple.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:42, Reply)

A salad sandwich?
You seem to be missing an actual filling.
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Nah, don't need one.
Rocket, tomatoes and ketchup on brown bread. Sorted.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Ketchup?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Yeah, why not?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

That's just weird.
Ketchup in a sandwich that isn't either sausage or bacon is wrong.

And even then, it should be HP.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

you haven't lived
crisp and ketchup sandwiches rock. hard.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)

This would be vastly improved by cheese or ham, though.

(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

so how many people would be left on here then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Quite a lot actually,
There's not many people on here I consider a true cunt. But there are a couple. Besides, ebola is a truly horrible way to die, you'd have to be a full-blown cunt, not just a bit of one.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Virology was a while ago
but isn't ebola the one where your innards sort of liquefy over the course of a few days and you haemorrhage to death?

I bet you haven't read my dissertation yet, either...
(berk, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

You do haemorrhage to death
But it's a common misconception that it liquefies the organs. Accounts differ, but it seems to be that it just sort of makes them permeable and all the blood leaks out and stops clotting.

Shit...
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)

It's actually a rubbish virus, though
that's why it hasn't done much harm. Way too virulent, and too lethal with it. So the host is dead before it really gets a chance to spread, and it's dead in seconds outside the body. Poor form. give it a couple of thousand years to man itself up and it might be a threat.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)

i can think of several people i'd unleash ebola on then
does it come with free popcorn so you can enjoy the show?

most of them are not on here, though, as you said.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I can think of hundreds of people I'd gladly see dead
Thousands even.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

yeah me too
it's more a case of you I'd want to live.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Aww, you want me to live?
(I know it's a typo, but I'm taking it to heart and I'm going to print it out and stick it to the fridge).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

hahaha
I read that twice before I spotted the typo, must be a freudian slip.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)

OMG you fancy me?
along with half of the blokes and a few of the women on OT
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

it makes it a struggle for me, let me tell you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:16, Reply)

I understand dude
She had better make some fucking amazing cupcakes, that's all I can say.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I'm probably going to regret promising that, judging by how many people are actually going to be there

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I'll be a fair judge to them, and go in with no expectations or bias
*has visions of kicking the lot onto the floor and shouting "THEY'RE SHIT!" as soon as I see them*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:22, Reply)

as funny as that would be
I think I would genuinely cry.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:32, Reply)

And that's why I won't do it.
I'll keep my Family Guy skits to my brainpan.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)

make have

IFYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

She still hasn't sent boob pics?
Man, why do you bother? I mean, the girl's alright, but all this flirting with everyone must get you down.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)

oh you all have my facebook pictures
use your damn imagination, geez.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Don't wanna

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)

that's sleazy
whereas if you send them to me then it's fine
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)

oh hai you're up early
are you coming to play pole with me tomorrow?

One of my beginners (the one who's been pole cheating on me with another class) did Teddy Bear last night, I was so mad I did it myself to prove a point. Only for half a second, but still.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)

G'luck Becks !
Listen, becks, I was wondering. I'm looking for a misses to keep me a kept man, a sugar mama if you will. When you finish your degree or whatever, does that make you a doctor? And if you are, will you be earning a decent wedge? 'cus just to let you know, I think you'll be pleased (but I'm not sure), I'd consider you as my suga mama; but just so you know, I like expensive sushi.

oh'wait, can you prescribe? That'll be better still.

1) Donno, what's the differance? I'd attack cancer cells or something.
2) Doc Pep
3) Donno, what do they do? I don't really drink that much, but I do take in a lot of painkillers.
4) already done, subway.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:45, Reply)

but i thought you were MY slave, bitch?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

You're the front runner for now, you're a sex in the city SLASH Ali McBill type... you must know some doctor on the take.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Sorry Gonz. I won't be minted and you've stood me up too many times.
I can prescribe if you want some tasty tasty Fipronil or praziquantel?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I donno 'em ones, do hampsters like that sevradol stuff? I think my cat's being all emo, best give it some diazipams.
New Gonz, i've heard it 100s of times before, but hopefully I'll get my social on a lot more, esspesh now with The New Class and all that =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I have no idea of what you're babbling, so I'm going to smile and nod. See you at the bash0rz

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Wicked =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Gonz
where was that sushi shop that sold everything off cheap in the evening. I want sushi.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

sounds like a fast track
to food poisoning if you ask me.

which i am aware that you did not.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Well nice, it's right next to farringdon station.
As you walk out the station, you'll see the building site opersite. Take a left and it's the first two shops, donno what the sushi place is called 'cus the name is isn't in latin, but the place next to it ('abukado' or something like that) is really really nice too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)

i'm having dinner right by there tonight!
then walking home in my fancy trainers.

did i mention my fancy butt-toning trainers?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Give one of those places a shot, they're rather good.
When I went for that job interview last week, I took a wrong turn around smithfields and found loads of really nice resturants and bars. I honestly would love to work there again, it's such a nice area. It's almost like an Islington for non-tourests.

Nope, tell me more about your fancy butt-toning trainers. Right now I got a mental image of those trainers they sale in phamacests with the curved soul... but I can't see you wearing any clothing bought in a place like that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Virus.
Because you cannot kill what is not technically alive. I would attack one of those call girls who keep getting mentioned in News of the Dregs of Society for getting round the England football team so they could all die and we wouldn't have to keep hearing about the grubby troglodytes bonking prostitutes. IT'S NOT NEWSWORTHY.

Neither. Dandelion and Burdock all the way.

17 and a half minutes. Then I'm off to become a buddhist and meditate myself up my own arsehole.

Stilton and Bacon sandwich. It was pretty good but has once again inflamed my horrendous oesophageal bumder's tumour so I think I might have to ease off on the cheese for a little while.

Good luck with the revision.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:49, Reply)

you might not be able to technically kill them
But you can fuck their lipid envelope RIGHT the shit up.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:51, Reply)

And you can stop them from replicating
And stop them from getting in cells, which doesn't leave them much else to do really.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I prefer making self-assembling protein mimics of them, myself.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I've not learnt about that yet.
Sadface. I need more virology in my life. I'm currently reading "The life and death of smallpox". For fun.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I did some work on self-assembling virus-like particles
as vaccines for HIV and HEP B while I was at UCL. Scary stuff. But quite cool.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:11, Reply)

What are the differences between a virus, bacteria and spore that I might use to my advantage?
I know the most about viruses (from watching zombie movies) so I would be a zombie virus and I would attack chavs and people with speech impediments. And James Corden.

Cherry DIET Coke is the one for me.

I don't drink much so I could probably do without kidneys altogether.

For a summary of lunch, please see earlier lunch thread.

NEEDS MOAR FLOUNCE!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I can't answer this question without a full and complete nerd-out that would bore everyone else on the board
So I'll let someone else do the honours.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I'm already bored by this

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Precisely.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I'm on my phone, so chances are by the time I finish typing this, someone will have copied and pasted from wikipedia anyway

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Viruses are a bit bigger than bacteria and they replicate asexually
while bacteria replicate sexually.
Interestingly some bacteria can be negative weight that's why you have gram positive and gram negative.
Spores are a type of virus that only infect fungi
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

But mass is a scalar quantity.
How can it be negative?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:57, Reply)

It's to do with quantum theory.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Are you winding me up again?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Why would I wind you up about microbiology?
Just trying to educate you.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:59, Reply)

that's brilliant.
I don't think one single thing you've written there is true, Chompy.

I mean, I know you didn't mean it to be, but it's good work that you managed to get 100% internet untruth. You're almost a Wiki, man.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Of course I meant it,
ur not da only 1 who noes sience
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:02, Reply)

sorry sir.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

WRONG

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:01, Reply)

It's quite brilliantly wrong though,
I'm quite proud about the gram negative.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

can you wiki "brilliant"
whilst you're down there? then read it? ta.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:06, Reply)

well, as it goes
Viruses do kind of reproduce asexually. I do quite like the gram negative thing though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:09, Reply)

The gram negative thing was pretty clever.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Bacteria contain ribosomes.
Viruses do not.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:05, Reply)

this is because I was a dick about the Star Wars thing isn't it?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

bacteria are simple living organisms
without a specific nucleus. Viruses are self-replicating cunning delivery systems for DNA, really, and aren't living at all.

Spores are bacteria or funghi in a dormant state, generally staying dormant so they can spread around and find a new host.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

spores and bacteria are not mutually exclusive.
Spores are a propagation system for bacteria and funghi.

I'd be anthrax, and so both, and I'd continue my slow campaign of taking out fuckwitted hippies making drums out of animal skins
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I don't believe I said they were. Are you being protozoaphobic?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:56, Reply)

the use of the work "or" between bacteria and spore suggests you were.
and .. yeah. Why the fuck not. Although you probably mean prokaryotophobic if you're referring to a fear of bacteria.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:58, Reply)

Word, not work? Not necessarily. I was doing a play on xenophobia and forgot about prokaryotophobic. Good word sir.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:04, Reply)

shite. smugness destroyed by spelling.
cuntsticks.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Giggles like a mong

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Giggles like a mong

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)

like a double-post-mong?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Righty ho.
1. The streptococci bacteria that causes St Vitus Dance and I would attack Michael J Fox just for the hilarious consequences.
2. Neither - Diet Coke or Irn Bru please.
3. I'm gonna live forever. I'm gonna learn how to fly (Fly!)
4. A pear, a banana, a cigarette and coffee.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:03, Reply)

1. Common cold and people who annoy me, at every important or special occasion they have for the rest of their lives.

2. Cherry Coke.

3. Indefinitely fuck it.

4. Cous cous - was alright.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:07, Reply)