Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Made up triviaThe term 'p-funk' came to George Clinton whilst standing at a urinal having had asparagus for lunch.
Any spurious trufax you'd like to share?
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 14:57, 295 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
TGB actually spends her down time volunteering with little childrenand spreading the word of love to all she meets. She has a rainbow sticker on her car and loves hippies.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:08,
Reply)
I am Chuck Norris(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:10,
Reply)
I accused him of that on day one.I like him now so he better not be.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:14,
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I am prepared to give him the benefit of the doubtas I think Bert would have revealed himself by now.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:24,
Reply)
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:30,
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it made me gag,several times.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:33,
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always up for constructive criticism my dearhowever I am a tactile and visual learner.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:38,
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you meanif i show you my technique you promise to learn?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:44,
Reply)
why not, I'll try anything once.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:49,
Reply)
duuuuuuuuuuudeif i offer you a blowjob i expect a bit more enthusiasm than THAT!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:00,
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I was expecting a caveat of me giving one, and begrudgingly decided I'd take that.hence the muted enthusiasm.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:04,
Reply)
I find myself doubting you slightly and it worries me.Don't be Bert or I will be very dissapointed.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:09,
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I am going to say no more about it and give you benefit of the doubt(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:22,
Reply)
well it's too late nowif you're not going to respond appropriately (by which i mean hours of begging, then a few minutes of back arching, fist clenching, sheet rumpling, moaning ecstasy, then sending me flowers and champagne and pledging to donate your organs to charity for a second go), you can forget it...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:10,
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I am not MontyAI - thank the fucking lord.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:11,
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poor montyi am not sure how he got sucked into this (see what i did there?).
for once, he is entirely innocent!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:29,
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you appear to have a high opinion of your skillsI recommend that they be tested by an independent and impartial adjudicator.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:18,
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how are you going to judge her fellatio skills?unless you are watching.
hmmm, this might work
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:27,
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if you think for one minute you are hijacking my bjyou can do one. This sex dream has turned into a nightmare.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:32,
Reply)
we've already established I'm like you version 2.0this is inevitable.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:34,
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I need an upgrade.you are nega bobby aicmfp
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:36,
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hang onso far i am sucking bobby off and vipros and kitty are watching? is this correct?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:43,
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no no noyou're sucking me off and kitty is watching. We will be providing a comprehensive review.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:44,
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who am I sucking off?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:45,
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whoever will have you(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:46,
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works for me.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:44,
Reply)
i've never done a girlso i can't compete. maybe you could send your hot barrister down this way then??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:28,
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ooh I would like thatI can live vicariously through you
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:40,
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A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.
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girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:13,
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I like it anyway,anytime, ever, sometimes, oh please just once.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:35,
Reply)
My left testicle hangs approx. 1/2cm lower than my right one......and when the autopsy was performed on Jeff Buckley's corpse they found he had ingested over a 1.75 kilos of marshmallow.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Mckinley Morganfield acquired the nickname"Muddy Waters" after suffering as a child from a long spell of dysentery.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:15, Reply)
And John Lee Hooker got his name because of his love of prostitutes.(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Mississippi Fred McDowell got the name because he could never spell Mississippi.(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:25, Reply)
Not true, it was his favourite rugby position.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:28,
Reply)
The 'Johnlee' position is no longer used on Rugby Union......since they cut the numbers from 27 to 15.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:30, Reply)
Martin Bashir cries like a girl when he hears any song which has a title beinning with F or contains 12 characters(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:17, Reply)
Stan Laurel was Clint Eastwood's father(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:18,
Reply)
Piri-piri chickenIs so named because it is a phonetic corruption by the Portuguese of the original spelling. It was originally named after its true inventors, not the Portuguese, but the lead guitarist from Aerosmith and one of the male leads from fucking shit sitcom Friends.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)
And her husband (fiance?) is, in turn,the sickly and even-less-attractive runt of the same litter in which Jo Brand was born.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Jo Brand's father was a staunch Mosleyite......and named her after Josef Mengele.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:33, Reply)
You should put some facts about yourself in your profile.It's looking a bit dull
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:19, Reply)
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mateGood job I'm not a bloody ferret.
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girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:20,
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In Eskimo language the word charcoal means "stuff for marking out hopscotch grid"(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:21, Reply)
After Linda McCartney's deathHer husband was so overjoyed at being freed of the shackles of enforced vegetarianism that he began to nibble at her corn-fed corpse. Whilst he tries to keep it secret from the public, Paul has never quite lost the taste for human flesh and this is why Heather Mills only has one leg.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:24, Reply)
I like this!He'll be going for Vanessa Feltz next. Fat tastes good!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:27,
Reply)
There's plenty to go aroundNO need to worry
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:33,
Reply)
Althegeordie was due to appear on "Stars In Their Eyes" singing Telephone Thing by The Fall. However he was forced to withdraw due to an allergic reaction to candyfloss, and the show was cancelled before he could reschedule.
He's never really got over it.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:28, Reply)
NB This did not stop Matthew Kelly from sexually molesting him when he was younger.(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:29, Reply)
you can get monofrom riding a monorail
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:29,
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And if you get it twiceIt's called stereo.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:30,
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it's 7.1 these days(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:39,
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The creators of the Teletubbies belong to the same chapter of the KKKThat's why there has never been a black child on the show.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:34,
Reply)
Tubby Custardis produced by milking Phil Jupitus
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:36,
Reply)
There is one dangling from a tree, if you look carefully.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:36,
Reply)
Bruce Willis isn't actually baldHe simply donated his hair to a charity for dogs
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:35,
Reply)
Katie Price's boobsAre actually a pair of cloned Moby heads stuck to her chest with double sided tape.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)
This isnt trueMoby was created in a lab from Katie Price's leftover tit jobs
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:37,
Reply)
And the directions to new earth innit.I'm a bit sad it's all over now, I'm going to have to watch The Plan tonight.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
I loved the finale, apart from the last couple of minutes.And I have one question. What the fuck was starbuck then, and where did she go?
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
I think she was one of the "angels" like 6 and baltarbut she appeared to everyone or something.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Too many things these days are resorting to "Angels" as an explanation.I don't like it.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Well the bit at the end was interesting when they said "God" is just a name of a person.Which makes me think it's "the hybrid" or someone else.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
she was a cyclone.they were all cyclones.
EDIT: Wait a minute, angels? I did not think that show could get any more gay.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:56,
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you don't need to explain other people's jokes(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:58,
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I'm just pointing it out to every one else.Kitty is being funny people, pay attention.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Do you prefer cyclone or cylar?I think I prefer cylar.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:24,
Reply)
Thought of you on Sunday in the cinemawhen the new Machete trailer came on. It looks unbe-bloody-lievable!
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:40,
Reply)
YaaaayYou associate me with a horrifically violent and hideously ugly Mexican. I'm touched.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.(
girlinthehole, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:36,
Reply)
Isn't it something like 70% of americans don't have passports?(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:40,
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I think it's only about 55-60%but it's still fucking terrifying.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:54,
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it could be worseat least they live in a massive and varied country (landscape-wise at least)
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:57,
Reply)
Shhhh.stop being sensible. I spent yesterday teaching first years how fucking stupid the US units system is, as it is gravimetric. Stop spoiling my anti-US fun.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:08,
Reply)
I felt obligedseeing as you are normally the voice of reason.
what's the dealio with the US units system? I feel I should know this, and I actually might, but my stoner-brain might not be letting me access it at the moment.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:14,
Reply)
Without boring the absolute shit out of everyone?SI has mass, length, time, temp as the four "fundamentals" (I'm ignoring shit like luminous intensity here) but US system has "force" as a fifth. Since force is rate of change of momentum it requires an acceleration to be definied, (Newton's second law) and the US system uses gravity. Which is fine in a system where gravity is the over-riding acceleration (like, shit falling on earth) but in anything else (say inside a centrifuge) you need to modify Newton's second law to introduce a constant equal to 1/g to even this shit out.
In short, It's a right cunt. But you fell asleep 4 lines ago, right? ;)
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
nope I'm with youpretty stupid to have a basic unit that is defined in terms of your other basic units.
those dumb fucks.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:30,
Reply)
Pretty much, yeah.They also still use BTU as a unit of energy, which is also pretty special as it's based on a definition that actually varies a little with temperature (heat capacity of water). They do need a right cunting in the murray sometimes.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:35,
Reply)
Dom from Dick & Dom has Europe's finest collect of "escutcheon plate B s", which have been left over after assembling Ikea furniture. 1187 in total.(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)
Al the Geordie and I are bessie matesand holiday together regularly at Center Parcs
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:42,
Reply)
There was a programme on about him fairly recently.He was a classic old school pro , great timing.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)
If you take all the veins, arteries and capillaries from your bodyand lay them out end-to-end, it's still marginally less bad for you than eating a KFC zinger burger.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:52,
Reply)
By law, women in Yorkshire must drink only half pints in pubs(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:53,
Reply)
this should be the law everywheredirty pint drinking ladettes.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:57,
Reply)
She just saidIt apparently makes you unhygienic and boy-like.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:00,
Reply)
pints contain 74% more cooties.or something.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:02,
Reply)
It leads to unsightly development of the musclesin the wrist, forearm and biceps.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
So does wankingbut no one is saying ladies can't knock one in, are they?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:04,
Reply)
No one would dare say that.(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:05,
Reply)
They're clearly all gay then.(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:10,
Reply)
you should see this bit of exercise kit i boughtit's basically a gyroscope to exercise your wrist/forearms. it really really really hurts. when it arrived, all the boys in my office wet themselves laughing because apparently there are rude implications for wanting to strengthen these muscles. news to me.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
I have one of them!It's called the Powerball. I bought it because my handstands in pole are really rubbish and it's because of my crowsephine wrists.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
excellent!we can take them to the pub when we go out in manchester.
or we can just go out in manchester without them and drink more.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:01,
Reply)
It doesn't look right to meIn my experience women who drink pints also think it's ok to burp in public and moon people. When a woman has a pint in one hand a fag in the other I just think "eurgh". But I'm well snobby.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
and mei also only really like men drinking pints or red wine and smoking cigars. i HATE smoking but omg a man smoking cigars is cream-able.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:27,
Reply)
He has to have the lookthe italian mafia boss kind of look
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:38,
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not everyone can pull of the cigar lookI don't know whether to include myself in that or not
edit: I have just remembered this photo though from late at night at a uni mates wedding, about 6 years ago.
sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v72/6/22/661045045/n661045045_538645_8920.jpg
one of my favourites
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:41,
Reply)
splendid.even with my proto-beard
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:45,
Reply)
I skim read that as potato head and laughedI'm sorry.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:54,
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I would've done too(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:54,
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Cigars do look damn coolBut whilst I'd look damn smart in the suit, I'd be hacking and clutching my chest if I tried to smoke one.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:55,
Reply)
that's because you'd do it wrongthe smoke shouldn't be going anywhere near your lungs
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:57,
Reply)
I've never tried to smoke anythingSo wouldn't have the first clue. I understand that you draw it into your mouth and hold it, but I'd still fuck it up.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:59,
Reply)
probablyif you make the mistake of inhaling then it is pretty fucking nasty
I expect Monty likes it though.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:01,
Reply)
maybe you should just hold it and say "see?" a lot(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:58,
Reply)
YeahOr stub it out on some punk who tries to mac on my women.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:59,
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Since between the hours of falling asleepAnd waking up.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:05,
Reply)
But of course!None of this blinged-out crap and massive fur coats.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:15,
Reply)
And me too.I can't help but judge the women at work who order a pint of lager that is clearly for themselves.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)
funky bottled beers are ok though?i hate beer myself, you know i'm just about to pass out/vom if you see me touching the stuff, but i think bottles are generally ok for women!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:45,
Reply)
where do you stand on pints of cider?(balancing around the rim? hahahahahahahaha)
but seriously. answer me.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:58,
Reply)
it mostly isparticularly if you get it from a farmer
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:01,
Reply)
Storing CDs vertically keeps the music fresh.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:56,
Reply)
but you should rotate them every so oftenor all the music drips to the bottom.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:58,
Reply)
This is also true of DVDsespecially those with that DiCappucino twat in.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:04,
Reply)
As much of a goon as he is, and he is. He was excellent in SHutter Island and Inception this summer.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:07,
Reply)
I left my books stood up too long and all the words collected at the bottomI had to shake them all before reading
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:39,
Reply)
James TaylorNamed his album "Mudslide Slim" after one of his bumder mates.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
Richard Dawkins wrote the screenplay for The Land Before Time(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:02,
Reply)
After a chance meeting in New Yorkhe proposed a marriage pact with singer/songwriter Sophie B. Hawkins purely for the wheeze of how their names would look on the invites.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)
they said LIES.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:06,
Reply)
CHRIS MOYLES!!! go on my son(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:07,
Reply)
"chocolate girl"by Deacon Blue is actually about booting his missus' back doors in.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:03,
Reply)
She leant it to Biffy Clyro.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:07,
Reply)
Contrary to popular opinion the Modern Romance song Ay Ay Mooseyis actually about an oryx called Norman.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)
"Hammer Time" is 11:23 exactly.And on a related note, every Christmas MC Hammer selects one lucky child who he allows to touch it. But only one.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Eva Braun invented the disposable razor and that is how the Braun corporation started.I love that one, convinced a few people about that, made it up myself.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:19,
Reply)
My favourite ever is convincing someone that Al Capone's real first name was Colinand then later that day playing Trivial Pursuit and a question about Al Capone's real first name coming up.
That was my greatest triumph.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
yeah I knowthat was 10 years ago too....
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:36,
Reply)
If anyone does still play Trivial PursuitIt's always worth remembering that the music questions were set by Tim Rice and he loves Peggy Lee. If you don't know the answer to any question regarding solo female singer from ages ago, just say Peggy Lee and you'll be right 8 out of ten times.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)
similarlyall the art questions can be answered with either Turner or Constable
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:51,
Reply)
if you are playing Buzz on the PS2the answer to the music question is the one with the artist feat. someone else, 9 times out of 10
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:56,
Reply)
you say that now but when Death challenges you to a game for your soul you'll thank Cave Duck(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:55,
Reply)
you think Death wouldn't be able to spank you at WoW?you are sadly deluded.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:57,
Reply)
Buju Banton is a chutney ferret.Coincidentally, Pato Banton makes his own chutney and breeds ferrets.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:19,
Reply)
Over to you Buju...."I love my car I love my house I love my money and ting, but most of all I love my browning."
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
'Kojak' is Lithuanian for 'lollipop'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:20,
Reply)
The Supreme Crow is not a real bird, and in fact, cannot fly.Soft rockers Mr Mister wrote their song "Broken Wings" about him.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Cave Duck is in fact a seagullAnd has been banned from 13 seaside towns around the country.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
Applebite has actually never taken a bite from an apple.She exists on a diet of stir fried swan beaks and cola fizz bombs.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Mother doesn't allow ketchup at home.I have to make the most of it while I'm at uni.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)
Bill Gatesvisits deprived areas by night, in disguise, and beats up disabled children with a baseball bat for sexual gratification.
He feels so badly about this afterwards that he gives enormous sums to charity in a vain attempt to assuage his guilt.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:24,
Reply)
Gaz Top invented the 'hooded top'Every time one is sold, he makes 14p. As a result he owns a 200,000 hectare vineyard in the Dordogne, the wine from which is used exclusively in the Vatican for the Pope's private raves, which happen every Sunday after Mass.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
Your comments today are a touch 'out of the envelope'.Have you already been 'indulging' in 'recreational' activities?
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
80s synth-pop sensations 'The Thompson Twins' all have leprosy.Especially 'the black one'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:27,
Reply)
Gary Linekerdiscretely spunks in every hundredth pack of Walkers crisps.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
Taana Gardner's 1981 hit 'Heartbeat'was originally a charity single for sufferers of cardiac dysrhythmia.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)
Fuckin' A dawgI love playing it to people and watching their faces as the realise it's not Ini Kamoze.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)
The Treacherous Three's 'Feel the Heartbeat'which uses the same break, is even better.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:34,
Reply)
This is because of your excellent taste in music.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:37,
Reply)
DMX is greatpurely for how often he goes "ugh"" and "what?!"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:45,
Reply)
You like him doing thatbecause it reminds of what your fiancee says when you suggest having sex.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:46,
Reply)
uncannily similar voice too(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:48,
Reply)
So did fucking loads of other people.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:48,
Reply)
awww you called him Princesshow sweet
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:55,
Reply)
He's gayer than Foxtrot and Pires combined, that one.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:08,
Reply)
that has reminded me of faith no more's version of this town ain't big enough for the both of us by Sparksnice one
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:31,
Reply)
All cats start out as either a lion or tiger and shrink in size with each life lostuntil ending up the same size as a domestic house cat.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:30,
Reply)
There was nothing actually wrong with Joey Deacon.The whole thing was cooked up between him and his mates to get on Blue Peter.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:32,
Reply)
SpidersSpin themselves little slippers made out of web to stop them sticking to their own webs.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)
The Frenchare not actually lily-livered Vichy cowards who stink of fear and garlic. This was made up by the Kent Tourist Board in the 1950s to stem the tide of day-trippers flocking to Calais.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:36,
Reply)
SawdustSawdust was invented by Corrine Bailey Rae's great great grandad on her Mum's side. Unfortunately he never benefitted from his invention as he died six years before anyone invented the saw.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:39, Reply)
'Leroy' from 'Fame' is now president of Mozambique.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:45,
Reply)
Mark Morrison never did get his mac returned and had to buy a cagoule instead.(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)
Tony the Tiger from the Frosties breakfast cereal is actually a girlbecause lions are boy-cats and tigers are girl-cats
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:48,
Reply)
Epilepsy is just attention seeking.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:49,
Reply)
Couldn't agree more, if the daft cunt in my work is anything to go by.Into the 'fitting room' with you
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)
In 11th Century JapanHideo Nakuma developed a system of transmitting messages quickly from one side of the Northern island to the other, which also conveniently solved the out-of-control unemployment crisis at the time.
Whilst the quality of transmitted messages was not as high as, say, modern day text messaging, it proved such positive results that the idea was stolen by Chinese spies.
However, due to China being significantly larger than Japan the message entropy encountered made this method of communication distinctly unfit for purpose.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:49,
Reply)
Fine, fuck you allI thought this was brilliant, but I couldn't post it for about 10 minutes because our Internet connection dropped.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:03,
Reply)
*smashes the place up*(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:09,
Reply)
I liked it, and as a direct consequnce of liking it, clicked the button marked "Reply"(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:12, Reply)
Shock comedian Jerry SadowitzIs a well known breeder of Miniature Poodles. He loves them so much he has developed a sympathetic hairstyle that adds a certain synergy to competition performances.
Before George Foreman signed on the dotted line, Alex Higgins was approached to be the face of a generic food grilling machine on account of his love of grilled mutton sausages.
Colin Montgomerie firmly believes that a pint of Gypsy tears before a major events helps him focus on his long game.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)
'Down Down' by Status Quois actually a heart-rending tribute to Francis Rossi's dog 'Smudger', who was tragically run over by a steam-roller at the Bath and Avon County Show in 1970.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:52,
Reply)
Whilst commiserating with his neighbour whose lawn had turned out to be rather coarse due to a imbalance in the seed types used,Dr Tugnut said "Too rye, eh?"
Just as an inspiration seeking Kevin Rowland was walking past.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)
anyone seen how awesome this is?www.wimp.com/toycar/
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:01,
Reply)
holy shitas of today, I can watch youtube and stuff at work
marvellous
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:03,
Reply)
Does that mean I can send you music?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:07,
Reply)
Jarvis Cockers chin is so squareBirdseye have used it as a template for beefburger boxes
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:03,
Reply)
Ted Rogersof Dusty Bin fame died on the 3rd February 2001. Making his death date 03/02/01.
When Bobby Moore scored his last international goal, Sylvester Stallone was in goal.
Keanu Reeves is Hawaiian for 'cool breeze over the montains'.
More people are killed annually by donkeys than they are by plain crashes.
Only *ONE* of those isn't actually true.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:19, Reply)
I hope that the Ted Rogers one is true
Escape To Victory would explain the second one.
The third one is possible
I'm not sure if the word plain as opposed to plane is a typo or misdirection.
It must be 1 or 4 that is false.
(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:27, Reply)
To be honest I still find it difficult to talk about dad so won't if you don't mind.(, Tue 5 Oct 2010, 17:36, Reply)
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