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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Somebody start a new thread ffs.
Question: yeah whatever!

Alt q: Who fancies a shag?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:34, 225 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Best of all the sea birds!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)
I quite like Terns.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:35, Reply)
Not for me thanks
I don't smoke.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)
When I was aboout ten, we were watching a programme about seabirds
My parents needed to pop out to do some errand and asked my older brother if he would be ok to look after me for 20 minutes. I piped up with "You're not leaving me and that puffin"

It's the best joke I've ever made.
(Cave Duck, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
If you're a fit, funny man
who I fancy, then please ring me
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)
I'm a fit funny lady with more money than sense.
*waggles eyebrows*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:36, Reply)
I'm waiting for the phone call

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
I don't have your number
and I'm not funny,
and your too far away
and I'm busy.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
and I don't like you anyway *cries*

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
*rings*
sorry, I'm taken
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
delusional isn't on the list

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
You are on fire today young lady.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
she will be in a minute

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
*BOOM* headshot!

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
just how mean are you being here?
seems to me that there are 3 distinct levels that you could be going for
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
I'd go for number 3.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I'm ugly, unfunny and she doesn't fancy me?
that's what I thought

*mopes*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I was being averagely mean
and saying you'd have to be delusional to think you fitted the criteria
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Homewrecker
I'm taken
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
run away with me Roota
we'll do Europe
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
I'm with child now, so will Blackpool do?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
yes
I'll pay for your candyfloss. We'll be like Monty's mum
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
What, all of 'em?

(Cave Duck, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
simply marvellous

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
Other ladies don't count.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
ORLY!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
ZOMG!

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
what happened to the dude
was he a tasteless twat who failed to take you up on your amazing offer to take him out?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
he hasn't got back to me
what a fucker. You'd have thought a sympathy date was in order
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
He is clearly a cretin. Move on.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
+to Monty

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I should
I'm just a bit buggered off at this one
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
what an absolute loser
why do men insist on pulling the old disappearing trick?? it's this simple: you can say something that will mean you can still be friends. or you can avoid having to say or do anything and just make the girl think you are a rude pointless arsehole. seems he might be the latter... his loss, my sweet!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Thanks
It's just weird because I am the least pushiest person in the world. I wasn't exactly banging on his door going 'marry me right now you adorable hunk' more just pushing a casual invitation that could easily have been deflected by him or made into a group thing, without loss of friendship on either side
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
either he is just a bit flaky/rude
and doesn't realise you have to reply to invitations.

OR, more likely as he has a penis, he read whatever you put as "OMG THIS CHICK TOTALLY WANTS IT WHICH IMMEDIATELY MEANS MY OVER-INFLATED EGO HAS SWELLED UP EVEN MORE AND I NOW KNOW COULD HAVE ANY GIRL IN THE WORLD JUST BY SNAPPING MY FINGERS SO I'M GOING TO GO OUT AND FUCK KELLY BROOK INSTEAD"

or something.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
yeah, all blokes think just like that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
give me a better explanation then

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)
stop being confrontational

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)
what the fuck you talking about?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)
what the fuck are you talking about?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
I was being confrontational
what's your excuse?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)
I'm being deliberately obtuse

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Well I'm in a filthy mood
and I have to go buy some sort of cardigan and a new hairdryer
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)
filthy = rude, or filthy = awful?
I'm feeling a bit ropey. I hope this doesn't spoil my evening of eating good food, smoking loads of spliffs and generally lazing about with my mrs.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)
Awful mood
so yeah that probably was a bit rude sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)
Don't apologise, it's Vipros.
If you manage to dent his smugness, you pretty much win the internet.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)
do not disturb
female counselling in session. if amberl were a guy, i'd be saying something totally different!

[but it is true, lots of guys think exactly like this. the first seventeen capitalised words anyway]
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)
I've disappeared on several occasions
It was often nothing to do with the bloke. It was awkwardness and madness. I meant no harm.
Maybe he'll get his head together and realise she's a gem. Maybe he's gone off to kiss more frogs for a while.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)
I was going for a new thread record :(

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)
It was petering out and you know it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:37, Reply)
BGB holds the record, I think, at over 600

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
Do I?
Woo!

*sings*

If you wanna be a record breaker.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:39, Reply)
That's why you THWARTED my effort
*shakes fist*

Damn you to HELL
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
That is a great word, right there.
What does it mean?

Bloody ninja.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
who wha now?
*smugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Friday afternoon is the worst time to try and beat my record.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
If you want to be the best
Then you've got to beat, you know, all the rest.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
I broke that record when Bert said he would leave if I got over 600 replies
and it went to 700 and something because /talk invaded, although you hold the record for genuine responses
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
Hello! It's me, your NEW NEIGHBOUR.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
lolz

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
STALKER!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
She's gonna be stalked like she's never been stalked before.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
Oo-er missus.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
WOOHOO
I'm going out for curry later I'll probably drunk text you
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Do it.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Yeah, go on then.
I'll ruin you for other men. Because you won't be able to bear letting them near you.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
I'm already like that.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
So we're going for mutual disappointment?
I can work with that.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
thats it, the hard sell...

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Why on earth would you be disappointed with me?
Other than my lack of interest.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
Lack of interest is why I'm disappointed in everyone else.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
i want to go home now
work is boring me more than usual. will stick it out till 4 i think

how are you lot coping?
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:38, Reply)
it's only 10:40am here
I feel like I've been here for 9 hours already and it's only been like 3
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
that sucks and blows
i have been struggling to look busy for the last few hours here. :o(
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:42, Reply)
we should quit our jobs and run away together and live in the woods off the fat of the land

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
so workboresyou eh?
*suspiciouses*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:46, Reply)
Save the kittums!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
pay my mortgage!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
bumhole pics please
/Gonz
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
that's like one of my all time fave movies

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:40, Reply)
After I've done the ironing.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:41, Reply)
Treat them mean and keep them keen.
I like that.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
Up yours
Alt Q: Alright, just wake me when you're done.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:43, Reply)
It's October already
Lazybones
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Ah...bones.
Yes, I'm supposed to be planning a treat for you when you come to stay.
*plans*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Drop the Internet Hardmanning
And gi' us a hug.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
A nice, manly hug.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
I don't know if I should be honoured
That you're progressing from threatening me yourself, to threatening to get your boyfriend to hurt me.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

hurt fist
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
I'm simply referring to the fact that due to BGB being in the prime of her life, she'd be able to ride me til that time next year
The filthy minx
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
I like your new sig

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Some cruel person called me it
But it amused me
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
It's fucking funny, that's why.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Mm, a nice thick shag underfoot.
Carpets, that's what you meant, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:44, Reply)
My evil nana had a carpet like that when I was little.
I swear if I knelt down you wouldn't be able to see me.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:45, Reply)
Your nana does have a thick carpet.
I'm sorry, I've revolted myself a little there.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Bathmats

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Wanna cyber?
(Dunno what it means, the cool kids said it, but I'm willing to learn.)
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:47, Reply)
ASL?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
L A K?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Pfft
T/g/B
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
haha f/25/Mcr
wt r u wering?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
lol omg
u r a perv
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
oh lol red shoos n a cardi n a flowerry dress n JEGGINGS LOL

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:50, Reply)
what the sweet shuddering fuck are jeggings?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
Jean leggings

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
There's a whole world of wrong out there that I just wasn't aware of, Lab.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
I'll ease you in gently
And let you know when my counselor's free.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
leggings that look like jeans

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
Like jean material footless tights.
I don't like them with just t shirts, but I'm wearing a proper dress, so it's ok
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
do you keep pulling threads out of them until you fall over?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Hmm? I don't understand

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
*gives it a minute*

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
STILL DON'T GET IT

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
fucking awful

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
I've run out of tights that go with this dress.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Finally an honest answer.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
m/30/outside your window
your knickers.

I suspect.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
are you my washing machine repairman?
because he's in my flat right now and all my knickers are out on the drying rack so he's probably wearing them.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)
I wasn't referring to me
I'm considerably older than 30, for a start.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
I bet you picked the most revealing ones and put them in full view
before he came round.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
All those size 20 ones, yeah
And hid her proper big knickers.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
hopefully he'll just think it's my bed sheets

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
All the crusties?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I'm not dignifying that with a response

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
It's a rather horrific word, isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
I reported the problem this morning
thinking it would be Monday before anything happened, but he's just rung to say he's nearby so will nip in now, I said yes and then remembered what a shit tip my flat is. Plus the underwear thing. And Wiggy's pot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
he'll probably steal the pot, because you can't report it
Wiggy will almost certainly leave you.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
You broke her washing machine on purpose, didn't you
You set this whole thing up!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
not only that
but I'm the repairman and am stealing the pot myself

it's win-win for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
I like your style

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)
that is why I am starting a life coaching business

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)
ok, well leave him enough for tonight
otherwise I'll have to put up with him being grumpy. Let me know what you think of the chocolate rips
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
ok
I can already tell you I don't like the chocolate rips
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)
he won't get pineapple
*sulks*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
why would you want fflavoured ones?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)
erm
I don't. Shit. Er. I didn't say anything, shut up!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)
Odd term for your undies
Not a nice one either.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
haha gross

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)
*presses CEOP Alert button*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
Fuck me, they'd be busy if we had one of those.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
fwaps

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Go on then.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Everyone. Unless they are broken.
To be more specific, I'd need to know who the shag was with.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:49, Reply)
Me, but don't worry because it was a rhetorical question.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
How does one go about having sex rhetorically?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
there's a lot of declaiming involved
and a fuckload of 'Oh sweet Cicero'
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
If anyone said THAT NAME during sex I'd donkey punch them.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
for that special clenching feeling?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
you get to the point of slipping it in
but have a wank instead.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
my explanation was better
mutters obscenities
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
was it?
was it really?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
yeah mine was logical

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
mine is logical enough
close enough for jazz as they say
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)
Applebite just sat on her phone and rang me
but she's probably shagging and I don't wanna hear that.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
How much would we all laugh if she's being brutally sexually assaulted
And in her flailings managed to call you. Her eyes light up at this one prospect of being saved, but her hopes are dashed when she sees you hang up before she can even shout out her location.

WE WOULDN'T LAUGH, KITTY, YOU MONSTER!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
I just dribbled coffee out of my labret trying not to laugh then
you're horrible!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
you're the horrible one!
with you making fun of my stutter the other day and everything....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
hehe
I sort of wish it was true now, we could do phone sex. I would be all "hey Vip what you wearing" and you would go "p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pants" and I would laugh and hang up, satisfied for the evening.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
that would be hilarious
and nothing at all like my real life in the slightest
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
You're not wearing pants?
*brain shuts down to avoid meltdown*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
not quite what I was getting at, but the truth will out

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Did you call her back? No?
MONSTER.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
No I didn't
I should at least give the guy chance to finish.

Ok I'm starting to feel bad now with that sex attacker near where she lives, although she was texting me about ten minutes before saying she was in the library. I might just drop her a text...
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
She's having sex in the library?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)
Being raped, Chompy
Don't go sugarcoating it, it's a horrific act of violence.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
yeah, that's not funny dude.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
"Surprise!"

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)
It's ok she's replied, she's in a lecture
to quote "sat in between two fit lads :D"
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
Good good :)

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Is 'Sat' the new term for 'being roasted'?
I'm out of touch with slang these days
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
no silly, I just assumed that if I stayed listening to her phone in her pocket for any length of time
at some point I would hear her having sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
Well that was absolutly not what you wrote in the first place.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
I said 'probably shagging'
not definitely shagging. I was insinuating that because it's Applebite, chances are she's shagging. Sorry I didn't EXPLAIN MY JOKE
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
john rylands?
nobody would have sex in there, it's the most soul and libido destroying place!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
You got turned down in there, didn't you?
What was it, did you say to your lecturer 'But Sir, I need that pass. Maybe if I can make up the grade in....other ways?', and started to strip. He laughed, told you he was married, and walked off, leaving you alone wearing nothing but shame.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
ACTUALLY
i went to kings in london.

and i never went to my lectures, never mind spoke to a single lecturer. but keep going with the fantasy, you might manage a semi at that rate.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
I think she's probably at the uni one on Oxford Road
I've never been in the John Rylands one, it looks scary.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)
it's huge
i did all my BA stuff there, some of my law stuff, and now my Masters. it's good. but grim!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:14, Reply)
I like the central library although I always get lost in there
it's being refurbed at the minute so there's a temporary one that has about 3 books in it, hmph.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)
Strange you should ask...
an ex of mine just called round for a cuppa, she was moaning about not having had any for some months now, I said ditto (not literally, obv.), there was an awkward silence...she's now left. Not sure that I did or didn't do the right thing there. Still - LET HER BEG ME which will doubtless never happen.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:51, Reply)
She must be, like, 18 by now though?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
oh Roota
were you this suspicious before b3ta?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
Name me one time when my suspicions have been wrong
Edmund twice and wbm twice.

(Although I'm only having a laugh with this one)
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)
I'm not calling your skills into question honest!

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
Fuck off Chompy

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
man, b3ta is mean today

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
fucking hippy

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
shut up Bert

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Shut up, bert.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
+looking

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Multiple that number by 3
and you'd be somewhere close...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
EW, OLD PEOPLE DON'T DO THE SEX ON EACH OTHER!

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
Yes we do.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
UP YOURS, GRANDDAD!

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I thought that's what you were complaining about?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Now listen here, you.
I cannot be expected to be consistent in my opinions, OK?
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
Haha, fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Exactly.
Now, get a haircut you young hooligan, I know your Dad, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)
It's amazing the angles you can get to when you use a zimmer frame.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)
+ a walking stick in each end

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

an ex of mine my sister
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)
haha
maybe you will fit in well here after all. B3tan in 'not having sex' shocker.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)
"and in a darkened underpass
I thought Good God my chance has come at last
But then a strange fear gripped me
And I just couldn't ask..."
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)
oooh so close
quoting lyrics doesn't go down well, just ask Cave Duck about his initiation. Also quoting Morrissey will put you in Monty's black books, but everyone lives there so I wouldn't worry about that bit too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)
I'm not in there!
...I hope
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)
quoting Morrissey will put you in anyone's bad books
he's a terrible shitcunt
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)
There's something about him that makes me feel he can't be trusted.
Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a fridge full of meat. Or he has McDonald's when he's drunk.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)
he just looks fundamentally untrustworthy
slimy and shifty

in fact, he bears a striking resemblance to someone on here....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)
he recently said something derogatory about the Chinese
so he's been deemed to be a bit racist.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)
He said they were a sub species of the human race
beecuz dey meen 2 da fwuffy bunniez.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I would like to eat a rabbit right in front of his face.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
Well he is an ignorant cunt too.
You can't have a subspecies of a race.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)
er.
do you not read half the stuff on here?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)
Often, but I read that through and took it mean that:
Morrisey had said that the chinese were a sub species of the human race.

I believe the chinese to be a race of the human species.

Where did I go wrong?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)
noooo
you queried how there could be a sub-species of the human race.

i was implying that such a thing is alive and well and posting on here.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)
Sorry, I was just being pedantic as to the relationship between species and races.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)
LEAVE THE INTERNET.

RIGTH NOW.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)
<coat>
Look, I promise never to deface the site with Smiths lyrics ever again...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)
You should try Bowie, Monty *loves* Bowie

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Actually try anybody.
It unlikely that Monty will be happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)
Rigth?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)
Are you so angry you're trembling like a flower?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)
He trying out one of his products, and can't see through the gimp mask.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)
You should have said you were getting loads.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

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