Good morrow, fair denizens of internet-land.
How are you all? Good, I hope.

I had a lovely day down at Mater Boyce's yesterday where we celebrated my brother's 40th. Somewhat embarrassingly my sister and her husband had bought him a bottle of wine from the year of his birth, in a wooden case. So that's a 1970 Haut-Medoc from them, and..err...a night out at Motorhead from me.

Ever been made to feel a total cheapskate?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:34, 165 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Everytime I drink a can of strongbow before heading to the pub,
I feel cheap and ashamed. But I like it
( wanderlust, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:39, Reply)

You peasant.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Still, at least I have my youth.

( wanderlust, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:46, Reply)

His parents are starting to worry about him.
I think it only fair that you release him now, don't you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:47, Reply)

It's not about the money Monty, it's about the thought.

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:48, Reply)

But it's what I got him for his 39th, too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:19, Reply)

How much does an old bottle of wine cost?
They probably got it from a boot sale or something.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I'm guessing quite a lot
Seeing as I remember being at a house party and the girl who's house it was had a limited edition collection of Evian (yes, Evian) watter bottles from the year of her birth. They weren't normal bottles, they were silver plated and for some reason 'special' for Evian's 100th anniversary or something. She said they cost a few hundred quid!
Later that night we opened them all and emptied them in her pond. Then threw the bottles over a fence. We were cunts.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I know, just trying to annoy Monty.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I gathered, but that story popped into my head whilst thinking about expensive drinks/bottles and it made me laugh. I felt the need to share.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:57, Reply)

it couldn't have been swipe's house could it?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:11, Reply)

It's occurred to me that I haven't paid for weed since I moved in here two months ago.
I'm always sitting in the front room and everyone gets stoned every night in there. I should really say something but by the time I want to I'm already baked and then I lose my train of thought. Vicious circle.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:50, Reply)

I had to get someone to buy my round on friday
because I had no money, luckily someone who owed me money turned up later.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 8:58, Reply)

I couldn't go out without knowing I had enough cash.
Even with my oldest friends. I have a low embarrassment threshold.
(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I knew there were three people that owed me money there
they all went to see a film though and came back later. Anyway I've bought them all rounds in the past.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Please don't think that I was suggesting that you were wrong to do so.
Even when we've gone camping or to concerts with friends and I've paid deposits, or for tickets on behalf of us all. I still take money as I couldn't bear the thought of asking them for it.
(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Wanna buy me a holiday?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:26, Reply)

My stupidity threshold is a little more healthy than my embarrassment threshold.

(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Good party?
I didn't see it on the news, and was heartily disappointed about that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Yeah it was really good thanks,
my facebook was filled with "I don't really remember last night" "My head hurts" and "how did I loose my shoe's" status updates on Sunday.
I had to take 8 bags and two crates of bottles to the bottle bank the next day as well.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Doesn't your sister work for the police?
They perhaps bought a bottle of plonk, printed a label and then had forensics make it look old.

Besides, whilst both are really good presents, I'd go with the Motorhead one every time.
(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Yeah, I would feel really bad about drinking
wine that's that expensive and collectable. At least with Motorhead you aren't going to clutch the tickets worriedly to your chest going 'Oh gosh, I don't really know if we should go to this, I mean...it seems an awful waste of a ticket'.

Maybe it's just me.
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)

We bought my father
a 60-year-old bottle for his 60th. The merchant warned my brother it might be undrinkable. At £250 a bottle. We only bought it on the assurance that if it was revolting he's give us another, younger but guaranteed to be drinkable, bottle.

Luckily for them it was actually fine. Unlike young wines, when you open a bottle that old you have to drink the lot within a minute or two as the air makes the flavour collapse almost immediately. It was actually jolly nice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Precisely.
Is the wine a collectable objet d'art that you're going to keep to show to people? Or are you going to actually enjoy it? Thus making it a fleeting but memorable pleasure in the same way that a concert is.
(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I'm fabulous monty dear.
And yes - last year I had NO money for my best friend's birthday, so I did her a painting instead. I still felt bad though - she got a whole bunch of expensive stuff from everyone else.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Your effort and artistic skill are worth shitloads more than merely a costly purchase.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:38, Reply)

i am giving up on men altogether after my weekend...
Sat night met a really nice guy in the bar, a personal trainer and fireman, with a hot enough body for two of each. I was pleased with myself because i played it v cool and said i had to get back to my friends (it was my party) and he asked for my number. So instead of writing it on his face and all over his arms in red lipstick or whipping my phone out and giving him that, i said coolly that london wasn't that big and he'd find me if he wanted me.

An hour later, my phone buzzed - facebook friend request. Nice. Many shots were consumed in celebration of my upcoming shagfest with the hot PT. Next day accepted it.

MARRIED. Married. What a fucking twat!!! So in the last few months we've had the guy who wanted to go out with me but still sleep with men, the banker who gave me a hard time for not putting out on the beach when he had a fiancee back at home, the user who thought it was ok to initiate sex but never bother to call me again, the one who thought girls could only be happy when they quit their jobs and got in the kitchen, and now the married dude who was either too thick to remember or, more likely, simply didn't care if i saw it.

I swear to god i have some kind of magnet that only attracts weirdos and fuckwits! Hence the early new years resolution, from now on i am going to live like a nun. Or a lesbian. Or both, if the former gets boring, although at least boring won't leave me feeling like a naive twat for believing a word that comes out of any male mouth ever!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)

We arent all cunts you know



Disclaimer: We are all cunts
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I'm not


Disclaimer: I am
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:43, Reply)

humph!
Even after i deleted him again, i still got a message going on about working out on my curves and getting all hot and sweaty... What a cunt! Gah i am going to be mad all week. Well, for today anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:43, Reply)

How embarrassing. I am cringing on your behalf.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

yeah
strangely enough, i'm not taking him up on his kind offer.

raaaaaaaaah!

ok i feel better now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)

The bloke's a person trainer
He's hardly going to challenge a Golden Retriever in a game of noughts and crosses, is he?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:13, Reply)

well, i've done ugly with a shit body
and that didn't work either, so i thought i might as well try the other!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:20, Reply)

the two aren't mutually exclusive.
There are other ways to maintain a good body that narcisso-onanism down a gym, and you don't have to be stupid to be fit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)

yes but
everyone who fulfils that already has a missus!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:32, Reply)

You know that's not true.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:36, Reply)

my experience begs to differ

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Morning BGB

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I'm laughing, but I'm not proud of myself.

(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:44, Reply)

i'm not proud of you either!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)

*narrows eyes*
*raises fist in sisterhood with swipey*
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)

maybe you've just had very bad luck recently Swipe.
I'm sure there are some lovely blokes out there for you.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:43, Reply)

no i really think i've finally finally had enough fuckwittage
It's massively bashing my self-confidence and i didn't have much to start with! Urgh i can't even get a cat because i'm allergic to the beasts, i'm even going to fail at being a crazy spinster!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Cats are shit.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

fuck off twat. Cats are ace.
Maybe Swipe, you should just take a break for a while, and build up your confidence again, then try when you feel more comfortable!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

No chance, cats are rubbish. Dogs are far superior!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

...at drooling.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:56, Reply)

And, to be fair, stick retrieval.

(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)

*waits for Jeff to answer*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)

heh heh

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Look at it this way
alright, so you're only attracting fuckwits currently, but isn't that better than attracting nobody at all?
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I'm going with 'no' on this one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Seconded
Motion carries.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)

At least you can turn the fuckwits down
I would say that the howling tumbleweed that currently symbolises my lovelife is much more depressing than getting loads of attention even if it is off a bunch of knobbers.
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:03, Reply)

no attention does make you feel a bit down
but realising that the guy you thought was really sweet was actually only after a quick fuck on the beach and was prepared to be quite nasty about it, or someone you thought as a minimum would become a good mate didn't even like you enough as a human being to text or call you ever again after getting his dick wet is worse, definitely.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:06, Reply)

I thought you worked in a science department?
Certainly if you wandered round my building you'd quickly tire of the sweaty-palmed leering males who have all the social skills of a randy bonobo.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Yes, but you work in physics
a generally girl-free (or girl limited) field. Male biologists tend not to have that 'hurr, tits!' response to women...
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I'm sceptical. Grab one of the library textbooks and see which pages bear the most sweaty thumbprints.
(Edit: No, actually, I can't really argue. Some male physicists are fucking pathetic...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:16, Reply)

hurr, tits!

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:16, Reply)

see, there's the problem.
They obviously are going "hurr, tits" but you're ignoring them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Oh god this, it's so shit to attract nobody at all :(

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I, for example, am a lovely person, a fantastic cook, a compulsive liar, a gentle, yet firm lover, and Batman.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Hahaha!
That has made me giggle and cheered up my morning!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Your problem
stems from the kind of men you meet - perhaps it's the kind of place you drink in (I mean this most kindly).

Let's face it, a 'a personal trainer and fireman' is almost completely guaranteed to be a thicko and a narcissist - I concede you couldn't have known he was also a dishonest arsehole too, but really: he was going to be a tosser.

Ditto your holiday banker. A banker? Known throughout the world to be arseholes...

I feel desperately sorry for you, you don't deserve it at all but you're not helping yourself either.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:44, Reply)

This^
You mentioned about you not being bothered about looks as long as they could make you laugh then cop off with the personal trainer!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)

i didn't snog him in the bar, i'm not 15!!
He came up to me (he liked my leave-on boots, i was just pleased he didn't ask to borrow them knowing my luck)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:53, Reply)

The point I was trying to make was that
he was obviously good looking and fit, etc but dim. Hence not a good fit for your criteria of being funny
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)

well
he did make me laugh a lot. but i was very drunk, to be fair, cancer would probably have made me laugh a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Beer googles are bad, m'kay!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

maybe
I will concede this logic applies to some of the recent tragedies!

And yeah, he was pretty dim
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I suspect that there is some truth in this.
If you want to meet someone for fun, the odd date or uncomitted shagging. Then those places are fine.

However, if you want something of more depth then you perhaps need to looking at environments that allow you to get to know someone a little more gradually.
(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)

That doesn't work either : (
Me and swipey are DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Like b3ta's /offtopic board

*smirks*
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Seems to have worked for a few b3tans!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)

That's a good point actually...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Pfft! seems I got the short end of the straw.

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Hurr hurr, short ends...good points...
PENIS!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Hahaha!
I'm not that much of a demented bitch.

*says nothing*
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:05, Reply)

You're not even a homeopathic-strength demented bitch

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Aw fanks : )

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:08, Reply)

You're most welcome, Auntie!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Maybe you just haven't got the balance
of drunkenness right at bashes to leap on people?
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

It's ok to do that when your young but not at my age.
It's just looks tacky.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:06, Reply)

It is quite fun though

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Surely at your age
you're old enough to not give a shit what people think of you? If you want to get drunk and pounce on people, do it!
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)

There's laws against that sort of thing.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Yeah, just few drops in the drink, and "help them home".
Much more dignified that way.

Morning, the internets.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Morning Wooks

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:22, Reply)

How's tricks?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Tricks are good thanks
I'm a little achy from decapitating a willow tree at the weekend, plus staying up til 3am to finish Lost. And yourself?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Not bad at all, ta.
Discovered on Friday that I'm not so much of an emo twat as I thought I was - not getting sad when I get drunk, just getting sad when I get rejected ;P

Moral of the story: don't try.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Do or do not...
*is utterly ashamed for typing that*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:31, Reply)

When 500 years old you reach...

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Hah. This.

(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:31, Reply)

ah urr h t
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Bravo!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

*applauds*

(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

To some extent yes but if I saw some drunken old bint locking lips with a guy in the pub then I would look with disdain.
Even with tattoos and piercings I like to carry myself with an air of sophistication in old age.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:14, Reply)

i think past the age of about 25 it's tacky to snog in public
doesn't mean i haven't been a bit hypocritical about that rule, but i still believe it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:15, Reply)

2 1
Seriously, there's a couple that insist on eating off each other's faces in our common room and it's revolting to behold. They can only be 21, maybe 22, but you can watch the whole damn room growing increasingly uncomfortable as they try not to have their attention drawn to the spectacle, waiting for one person to have the nerve to yell "Get a room" at them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:19, Reply)

if you're a couple that's much worse because you can do it any time at home
i just meant snogging randoms in bars!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Snogging randoms in bars is good fun
Just not when they look like the last one I snogged, not good. She looked like a bulldog.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Then what the hell did you snog her for, you retard?

(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Because I was drunk, and she was there
I turned to her, said "Hi", and leaned in for a kiss. Easiest snog I've ever done. The sickened looks on peoples faces were quite entertaining.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Are you sure they were sickened on your behalf, and not hers?
Were you wearing that yellow t-shirt?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I've been informed that the barman overpoured the pint in his hand because he couldn't look away from the 2 monsters eating each others faces about 10 feet away
And no, I think I was pretty well dressed that night...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:43, Reply)

You snogged a bulldog?!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:29, Reply)

She looked like one, not an ACTUAL bulldog
I think...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Bulldogs look like bulldogs
quod erat demonstrandum
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Using a Venn diagram
The two subsets "Women AA snogged" and "bulldogs" we can see the overlap clearly.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:37, Reply)

In fairness, not all of them are that bad
Some definitely are, but I've been lucky from time to time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I didn't say it was a large overlap ;)

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Woo!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Your common room at work?
Ew!
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I know!
We have an upper-middle-class room.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Just throw old copies of THE at them.
If it's anything like my common room you'll be drowning in them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:28, Reply)

You should give up smirking.
It's bad for yerz health, like, man, pet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:01, Reply)

*polite applause*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:02, Reply)

^ Should I be ashamed of having laughed at this?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:02, Reply)

How do you think I feel?
I fucking posted it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

more men on here should be you, monty
this would improve the place no end
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:07, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:07, Reply)

*blushes again*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:45, Reply)

*blushes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:45, Reply)

^this, hard.
Don't want wankers? stop going for totally obvious wankers, then. S'not rocket science.

/harsh-but-fair Monday.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:15, Reply)

but the whole point is
that they don't SEEM like wankers at the outset. it always turns out afterwards that everyone else thought they were arrogant or slimey or retarded or gay or whatever, but somehow i don't seem to spot it... how do i learn this filtration process??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Dunk them in a pond
If they float, they're wankers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:17, Reply)

that's witches, you fool

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Both being with 'W'
Maybe it applies to both, have you tested it?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:21, Reply)

no
i don't even own a pond
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:22, Reply)

See if they're repelled by silver and/or wolfsbane?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)

and stakes. or something.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I was running with an alliteration theme
You RUINED it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I ruin everything in the end, Lab.
See the Irish banking system? Me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Good, Ireland was expensive when I last went over

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Well, I don't really know you so hard to say, but I suspect Monty has a point
in that it's partially down to the company you keep and the places you hang out (that's not in any way meant to be an insult, the thing with people like that is they are often brilliant mates, just rubbish relationships)

But there are some cast iron clues? Sorry, but any even vaguely successful banker is going to be a cunt. You wouldn't be any good at banking if you weren't. Same goes for a large amount of the legal profession, which I'm sure you realise. And personal trainers? Seriously, you expect anyone that narcissistic to care about anything but themselves?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:22, Reply)

maybe it's london then
although i didn't meet all of them in london, so that can't be it either.

never mind. i can just stop going to the gym and eat chocolate on my arse and grow my leg hair into plaits!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)

If you stop shaving your pubes, you can end up with a beard down there!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

i would never ever shave them
i don't want to look like george michael. waxing/laser removal ftw!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:31, Reply)

+ again.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Often!
When you go to other parents houses and they have about a million toys for their kids and totally spoil them. Erm, she's three! She doesnt need 50 dolls

Don't get me wrong, I love buying stuff for my kids but I have other bills to pay as well. I'm sure some of them must be into bank robbery or prostitution (which is a horrific thought in some instances)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

This is very much an issue for me too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Pain in the arse it is
I literally spend nothing on myself so I can give them as much as I can. Plus their kids are all spoiled little shites and will grow up this way. My kids will appreciate gifts more and be thankful when they get them
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:52, Reply)

The chap who lives upstairs from my kid
buys her more presents than I do. I fucking resent it. They're also vulgar plastic Disney shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Kids like plastic Disney shit though
You can supplement this with good stuff though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

If I ever get a kid he's getting a bouncy ball
and maybe some sticks until he can play computer games.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Hmmm
*strokes chin*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)

When I turned up to the meal
last night with one bottle of wine.

Everyone else had brought two.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:50, Reply)

You pikey bastard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Tell me about it
They were a bit Pouilly Fusse :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Seeing as the position is free Monty....
'Well, you win some, lose some, it's all the same to me.'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Morning Jeff.
*waves*
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Morning Blousie!
*waves back!*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Ready for what life throws at you?

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I think so.
I'm feeling really positive today!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Awoooga!
I've been a busy little bee this morning and I'm just about to book my flight for Tenerife in January.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Good work!
Good a fun week ahead of you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:31, Reply)

No : (

( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Old wine ain't that expensive, necessarily.
Few years back I got my folks a '52 Margaux for Christmas. Set me back the princely sum of £30.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:23, Reply)

My dad wants a nice bottle of wine for christmas.
It's good to know I can get him something decent for that price.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Took about three weeks worth of desperate googling, mind you.
A student budget is great for making you track down the bargains.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Fucking hell that is very good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I was immensely pleased with myself.
The bloke was running an online wine merchant from his house, and was deeply surprised to find a grubby student with a handful of fivers on his doorstep begging for one of his best deals.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I am really fucking impressed by that bargain.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:53, Reply)