Fucksocks!
Got my first speeding fine in the post today (been driving for 6 months).

Surely this is a right of passage?
Please tell me there's a silver lining.

What has ruined your day/week recently?
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:42, 190 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

There is no silver lining
the moral of the story is: don't drive like a dick and you won't get ticketed.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Thanks
I realise I was a dick. I don't make a habit of it.
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:44, Reply)

/thread

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:42, Reply)

The silver lining
Is that if you get caught again within 18 months, you'll be off the road and we won't have to bother about you.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Great!
Thanks
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:46, Reply)

this happened to me.
I had to unlearn all my bad habits to take the test again.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Silly Kitty
Did you get them all for speeding? Or did you do something interesting like hit a child?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:16, Reply)

nah nothing awesome like that
just two temporary speed limits on the motorway on two separate occasions, belm.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:24, Reply)

You're the kind of person
who makes my cycle to work life threatening. Cheers dude.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:48, Reply)

oh everyone speeds

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Just as every cyclist skips
red lights, right?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:58, Reply)

I only speed to hit those cyclists who skip lights and ride on pavements

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Ok so a very small percentage of people probably never go a mile over the limit
but I've never known anyone who can honestly say they've never broken the speed limit. Just like I've never seen any cyclists that stick to the red lights.

I will say that I don't speed in 30 zones because they're 30 for an important reason, but I rarely keep to 70 on the motorway.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:05, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:06, Reply)

When I cycle I obey traffic laws like a car
And get enraged when I see other cyclists break these laws.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:08, Reply)

me too
last time I cycled, three cyclists overtook me when I was waiting at a red light and one of them even told me to move. I was outraged. But I'm British so I said nothing and quietly fumed about it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I've yelled at cyclists several times for such infractions
And honked my horn when they've done it when I'm in my car. Hear me RAWR!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:12, Reply)

RAWR squeak
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Well, it is a Ka, not got the loudest of horns

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:22, Reply)

You need a more manly car sir!
A Ka does not fit with the tattoos!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Quite a lot of 30s aren't 30 for any good reason these days.
Unfortunately.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I hate it when they stick a 40 zone for miles when there's nothing around.
Annoys me. The country lanes I used to live on were derestricted even though sheep and stuff could just wander out whenever they pleased, so it was up to your own common sense.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:19, Reply)

It was like that when I was down in Wales last week
60 zone, sheep all over the place. Bit terrifying.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

sheep are scariest in the dark
because their eyes reflect green in the dark and they have creepy sideways pupils so they look like aliens.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I've watched one of the roads in Edinburgh go from 50 to 40 to 30
in the 5 years I've been here. It's a fucking dual carriageway. The only reason there are the odd pedestrian death on it is that some pedestrians are fucking retarded and try and run across rather than using crossings. It's Darwinian so stop bloody protecting them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:25, Reply)

No they don't
and I don't skip red lights when I cycle, either.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:00, Reply)

I'll bet you treat red-lights as 'rest stops'
Allowing you to get your breath back.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I've been driving for almost 19 years and I've never had any points.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I promised myself
I would be like you. But as luck would have it, I touch 36 in a 30 zone and get caught by a temporary camera!
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)

80 on a motorway I'm fine with
36 in a 30 is dangerously idiotic.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Depends on the location of the 30, really.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:12, Reply)

It was a straight clear road
Large areas of grass either side of the road that separate the road from the path. No parked cars at the side, basically there is no chance of a child running out from behind anything suddenly.
(porkinator is a Rock n Roll nerd!, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:19, Reply)

wouldn't stand up in court
you should be lynched!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Two and a half years here, no points and no crashes

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)

8 YEARS NO POINTS
I WIN! IN YOUR SMUG CHINNY CHIN CHIN
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Well clearly I'm winning at 19 years and no points.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:03, Reply)

You don't count

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:10, Reply)

He doesn't even drive anymore.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I think you'll find I do.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:15, Reply)

And you're younger than me

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I can't drive and I ripped a wheel off.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:01, Reply)

7 years and recently caught speeding for the first time by a bloody mobile unit.
I don't even remember seeing it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:08, Reply)

I got done by one on the A74M last year.
I wouldn't mind, but they justify it by claiming Dumfries and Galloway has a high number of deaths from high speed crashes. It does, but not ever on the only section of deserted motorway in the fucking county. Try speed trapping on winding A-roads where it might actually help.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Ha
We love our speed cameras around here, we do.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:19, Reply)

This wasn't a camera
Even I'm not retarded enough to get caught by a camera ;) It was a mobile van.

The reason that we have it bad up here is that Scottish law permits speeding fines as a revenue generation exercise, and they don't have to demonstrate a safety reason for putting a camera in place like England does. Hence all the cameras on the only fucking bits of the A1 you can overtake on, and the fact that they are allowed to hide mobile vans behind trees on motorway bridges.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:22, Reply)

There's only generally 3 places they sit on the A74M in D&G
It's useful to know.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I do, now.
Pity it cost me a court visit and a several hundred pound fine, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I don't even own a car.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:53, Reply)

it's a broom, right?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:55, Reply)

It goes broom repeatedly.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:56, Reply)

*golf claps*
This deserves a response!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:08, Reply)

after a baby gate incident there's now a small hole in the wall and things are decidedly icy at home
I got my first speeding ticket when I was 19, I'd been driving for 4 years.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 14:55, Reply)

There's a mouse somewhere in my house, it ate its way into a bin bag
Fucking furry thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:01, Reply)

me and berk
saw a mouse in a tree
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Bloody hell that's special
I don't like mice now they're in my house :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:07, Reply)

it was swaying
a bit like it was dancing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I hope you threw things at it

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Not at all!
It was being very cute and christmas card-like, eating berries off a snow covered tree.
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:01, Reply)

K I S S I N G ?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Talk to your landlord they should send exterminators round.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Will put a few traps down, it seems to be just the one

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Clean out your cupboards and stuff as well.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:16, Reply)

We did, less than a week ago
There's no room in our kitchen for a bin though, so we'll have to put it in the hall.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Your flat must be a total hovel
Even we don't have mice
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:50, Reply)

It's not very nice.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:12, Reply)

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:17, Reply)

FUCK OFF YOU

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I don't want to agree
...but it is quite funny
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Fuck the both of you

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:47, Reply)

:(
But, but, but. BBQ SAUCE?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:21, Reply)

this may not be true
generally pests are the occupier's liability, sorry! the trick is not to let your landlord realise this. and not to let them send council exterminators, who are shit.

do you live in a terraced house? i bet there isn't a terraced house in london that doesn't have mice, esp at this time of year... we always got them in my houseshare, i hated it. esp when i found a dead one IN MY BATHROOM.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:19, Reply)

The weather is doing a pretty epic job of cocking everything up here over the last 10 days.
I'd really rather be forced to work from home when I don't actually have a shit load of work to do that I can't do at home. Mind you, as that would be never, I'm not really sure what my point is.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

The silver lining is...
...that you'll now drive more carefully. Or not get caught next time. Whichever. It's not a right of passage. Or a rite of passage, come to that.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I rushed about when I was a pedestrian so as a driver I'm just as bad : (

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:24, Reply)

touch wood
amazingly i have never been done for speeding, even though i tend to ignore most restrictions. well, on the motorway anyway. not in residential areas, i'd hate to hit a cat or something.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:21, Reply)

You'd be too busy on your phone/texting people to notice the speed cameras
So you've been quite lucky.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:25, Reply)

this may be a good point too

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:27, Reply)

this!
I worry about cats more than kids.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:26, Reply)

i hit a squirrel once
i wasn't speeding, i was driving my beetle, which only moved at about 40mph.

i actually cried like a girl.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Don't tell poppet.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:29, Reply)

it's your bed she's been sleeping in
so it's not me who needs to avoid distressing pillowtalk!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Woah. Step back.
I hope this isn't going to get all rapey.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:35, Reply)

it's not rape if you push back
or something like that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:37, Reply)

it's not rape
if you're charming and witty
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:03, Reply)

i think you have just answered his question about noel then!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:06, Reply)

what's this about pillowtalk then?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:36, Reply)

She stayed in MK Sunday night
Now she's staying with Noel. WHY DOESNT HE GET ACCUSED OF RAPE?!?!?!?!
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:37, Reply)

did you not read this thing after the last bash?
seems like every woman who was there wants to get in noel's pants. noel and monty, that is.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:40, Reply)

AHEM.
The list comprised of three male b3tans, and I was one of them!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:41, Reply)

That's a nasty cough you've got there, Lab.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Sounds like an AIDS cough to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:49, Reply)

It's funny because that was a nickname of mine at school

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Sorry to hear that, 'AIDS cough'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:56, Reply)

much as it pains me to admit it
this is actually true. the most shaggable male OT list, i am reliably informed by multiples sources, is indeed labs, monty and noel (in no particular order, but preferably all 3 so that a proper comparite can be carried out)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:49, Reply)

How three men can look so different and yet be so handsome and charming is amazing.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

maybe it's because the competition was so poor?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Don't go taking this glorious moment away from me
I'm basking right now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:57, Reply)

you're a gigantic shark?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:00, Reply)

*wrestles*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:01, Reply)

The Vortex! NOOOOO!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I feel like a gigantic shark right now
*prouds*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I'd be a bit careful basking round there - Greenpeace might roll you back into the sea
It's funny because you're a CHINNY CUNT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

ENTER NEW CHALLANGER

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Is that some secret and disturbing balloted comparison of every b3tan male
or are you just including the ones you've met?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

She's got a "hit list"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:55, Reply)

+ s
*L7s*

fucking hell, they were dire.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:04, Reply)

You are correct.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:10, Reply)

She's only met Monty.
But I can confirm this. There are a few others but these three seem to be universaly admired around these parts.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:56, Reply)

i haven't actually met any of the b3ta boys
except pjm, who is lovely, but that was years ago.

i am purely going on very reliable first hand sources and gossip.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:56, Reply)

excellent, I'm safe then.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Labs paid us all £10 to say it.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I felt sorry for Noel and Monty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Why? We didn't have to pay anyone.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:03, Reply)

"Give two vaguely alright guys a compliment, they'll feel less depressed for an hour"
"Pay just a tenner per b3tan lady, and these two better-than-average male b3tans will be complimented with enough regularity to enable them to function in regular society."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I don't think anyone thinks that Monty functions in regular society.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:10, Reply)

My mother does.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:13, Reply)

very quick
i love it.

/note, speed does not always impress me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I'm going to start dying random pubs gray so I can also get in on the list too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:22, Reply)

you wish
their milkshakes bring all the girls to the yard.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:03, Reply)

And they're all like "woah, actually, I'm lactose-intolerant"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Did you read the literally hundreds of posts saying I'm very charming and witty?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:42, Reply)

All by you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:46, Reply)

That was the joke
and thus proving my wit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

But no charm!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

but you wrote them yourself
and we all know you like to get in your own pants

[it's funny because i am calling you a wanker]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:46, Reply)

yeah we're worried about Noel

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Monty is old
Noel is quite tasty though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:43, Reply)

he's not as old as me :(

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Yeah thanks for that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Doesn't he have like a wife'n'kid though?
GET-IN-THERE, BEST-BY-DEFAULT.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:12, Reply)

I don't think Monty is that old.
I just get the impression he has crammed quite a lot into his time on this planet*.

*Mostly massive drugs so he can mentally leave this planet.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:15, Reply)

You know the answer to that.
It's mostly because he's not a massive rapey rapist.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I ran over a squirrel once.
I like to think it was a squirrel suicide though, he looked at my car and threw himself under the tyres.

There was nothing I could do.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I've hit a bunny and a pheasant
both were very traumatic experiences. My sister hit a squirrel on the motorway, she was gutted. She also hit a sheep once, which totalled the car.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:31, Reply)

So was the squirrel.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:32, Reply)

this distresses me greatly
if i hit a bird, i'd be devastated. my brother hit a robin once, even he was a bit traumatised by that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I've accounted for a pheasant before, while going at about 60 on a dual carriageway.

Stupid thing ran out a hundred yards in front of me, and got to the central reservation quite safely ... and then turned and ran straight back at me! It was wet (hence why only 60), so I'm afraid you've made your own choice there, pal.

(Rachel, you'd better stop reading now.)

Not as bad as night-time on a late Spring day driving back to the folks who live a little out in the sticks. I came around a bend fairly quick - open road, good visibility and conditions, lowish banks either side of the road in between two fields. I saw a shadow in the middle of the road, which proceeded to rotate its graceful feathered head, revealing a couple of beautiful big round eyes. About 250 milliseconds before I hit it.

What sort of an owl sits in the middle of the road, for the love of Og? *severe sadface* It did take me quite a while to calm down after that one.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:45, Reply)

omg
with one masterful thrust you have plundered my IGNORE virginity...

/cries
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:47, Reply)

my friend has told me several times about the occasion when her dad hit a family of ducks
WITH 6 DUCKLINGS. I hate the story so she keeps retelling it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

i would never ever recover if this happened to me
we once saw a half squashed duck writhing around, my mother and i were devastated, so my brother spent the next 3 weeks doing impressions of it, the little bastard.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:05, Reply)

my dad ran over a bunny once and its head clunked something underneath the car
so he stopped and got out and put it out of its misery, which was nice. As nice as finishing off the job you started of murdering a bunny can be.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:10, Reply)

You should always confirm the kill
And then kill it's family, so nobody can come take revenge.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:13, Reply)

For someone who makes a living out of fucking over people
you've got a really bizarre level of concern for other animals.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:11, Reply)

people suck
and nobody pays me to fuck over animals!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:16, Reply)

top answer, there.
But what about shit animals? I mean, there are some pretty crap animals out there, is it OK to kill them?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Seeing as how in my experience
the cost of the car is directly proportional to the number of cute fluffy animals wishing to throw themselves in front of it, then I'm amazed you haven't hit more.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

there aren't many cute fluffy animals
in london
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Nonsense
I used to live round the corner from these guys:

www.thegetstuffed.co.uk/
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:07, Reply)

I can't resist linking this here.
Reckon the beer might have been a bit minging though.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-10725024
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:13, Reply)

You may be right, I'd still like a bottle or two though

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Hopefully the silver lining will be it will teach you a lesson before you kill a child
UPS failing to deliver my parcel because some snow fell in Ireland has put a crimp on my week.
( M o D, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Meh. Children getting run over is merely strengthening the gene pool.
It's a road. Don't step onto it without looking.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Remember those Grandmaster Flash-inspired
80s road safety ads?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Being serious rather than flippant
It does worry me that these days we only target slowing down drivers, not hammering it into children not to run onto roads. It seems rather like dealing with shark attacks by killing a cock load of sharks rather than telling people to stay the fuck out of water with sharks in it.

Oh yeah, we do that to, don't we?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:32, Reply)

This^
I'm trying to teach my daughter proper road sense to stop her from being squished!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:38, Reply)

It's like blaming the school for your child being thick.
Same attitude and it's fucking everywhere.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:39, Reply)

when everyone knows it's the genes

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

And which race you're from.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:59, Reply)

that almost shocked me

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Exactly. Who needs unlucky children around, passing on their bad luck and everything.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:07, Reply)

CLOUD: my gig tonight is off.
LINING: I'm off to see the Lemmy film instead.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Lemmy film!?
Tell me more
( M o D, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:30, Reply)

www.lemmymovie.com/
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Awesome
I hope that gets a DVD release
( M o D, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

End of January. Already confirmed - you can pre-order on Amazon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:06, Reply)

You got a few grammes of base, for that authentic Lemmy experience?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Ugh have I bollocks.
I will take a bottle of American whiskey into the cinema though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Aye, Hitlers own dandruff
Feels like you've been pulled inside out.

Any more Dimitri?

I'm hooked...
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I imagine it wouldn't be a problem to get.
Not cheap though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 15:45, Reply)

It is worth it though
So how much do you get it for, as a matter of interest as it is a very hard thing to quantify with regards to monetary cost, considering its astonishing power.

The extraction methods look like a fair bit of faffing about, but not impossible.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:03, Reply)

A full G is about £130 I think
That's shitloads of doses though.

In all truth it's worth £100 a hit I reckon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Hyperspace awaits!
Hits you like a train...one second i was here, the next second i was...there.

Simply astonishing.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Of all my life's multifarious wonders
five minutes in 'there' is by far any away the most incredible. Sorry, 'being there for the birth of my daughter', you don't come close.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:12, Reply)

That isn't even an exaggeration
If anything you've played it down slightly. It wasn't like Salvia, which can be murky and nightmarish. This was a crystal sharp, techno reality that is always there and always has been. Our brains just aren't wired up to decode the data, until dmt is introduced into the equation.

Then it all becomes stunningly clear.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Base?
How low can you go?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:00, Reply)

that was an acid response

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

It's a Public Enemy.
I'd rather take Anthrax.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Neeeeeaaaaaaooooooowwwwww.
Beep Beep, Coming through, move over, yeah' you !
Don't argue, just blurt, hurry up or you're gonna get hurt !
Naw'you don't wanna see roadrage.
Naw', you don't wanna see roadrage,
Naw', you don't wanna see roadroad, or you might have to emigrate !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:01, Reply)

When I'm in my car, don't give me no crap
because the slightest thing and I just might snap
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Errr....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FxwEORDeng
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Youtube is blocked at work, sadly. And I'm afraid I don't care enough to check when I get home.
By all means describe in detail what I would have seen, then I will post a suitable response.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:16, Reply)

It's 'I Live in a Car' by UK Subs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I am sure it's delightful.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Blud', don't makeme get ooold skoool.
Naw', you don't wanna see me get road rage.
Ohh shit, same song, different page.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Nothing has pissed on my chips thus far
The thick head I deserve from drinking far too much last night has crept up on me, but I'm soldiering on.

The revelation that the data I showed yesterday were actually, in certain places, horrendous, and the thought that I'll need to go back and investigate them in more detail...well, that was disappointing, a little embarrassing, but hasn't exactly shaken me up.

What may yet ruin my day: department christmas do this evening. I feel I should go as it will be my last one, and there will be free booze, but I may have to try and sneak off before any "organised fun" begins.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:19, Reply)

'Organised fun'
the very worst kind of fun!
(berk, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Yep.
The first word makes the second a little ironic.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)