Pet PeevesWhat makes you angry? Get it off your chest so we can laugh at your impotent rage.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 1 May 2008, 23:12)
This question is now closed.
Dentists....When they ask you questions as they've got their hands in you mouth.
I CAN'T SPEAK....I'VE GOT YOUR HANDS IN MY MOUTH......TAKE YOUR HANDS OUT OF MY MOUTH AND THEN ASK ME THE QUESTION.
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girlinthehole, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:32,
Reply)
Red rag to a bullI'm a grumpy old man and proud of it. Here's a starter for ten - don't worry, I'll be back with more.
Voice recognition phone systems: "I'm sorry, did you say (pause) Kings Cross?" "Yes you fucking mechanical moron, of course I said Kings Cross". I actually wind these fuckers up sometimes by mumbling or saying nonsensical words - don't ask me why.
"First class service to the checkouts please" - in case this is just Tesco - this is what they tannoy when it's getting busy. But I've been at the checkout and nearly through it. How come second class service was good enough for me? Huh? As if rogering me two ways wasn't enough...
While we're on supermarkets, Parent & Toddler bays: I park in them if at all possible, why? because they didn't think to have them when we had a toddler, oh no. So fuck 'em.
NHS dentists. As if going to the dentist wasn't bad enough they charge you an arm and a leg and every flippin' time you go for a 'check up' they find something expensive that needs doing. Well, I've not been for about seven years now, and until a couple of weeks ago my teeth have been fine. I don't suppose they are, they're going to cause me agony very shortly, but if I don't go, just think of the millions of people that are going to lose all their teeth because who in their right mind would pay a dentist?
Powerpoint: nuff said? A huge part of my job is dealing with this little Bill Gates mind-fuck. Why reformat the text to 78 point when I wanted it to stay in 14 point? When you moved to XP, all the new stuff you added has made it shite, and no, I don't want you to send an error report to Microsoft because WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT.
Digital TV: what is the point?
Massive fucking coffees. Was forced into a Starbucks the other week on holiday and asked for a small coffee. "Tall?" came the reply "No, fucking small please" I riposted. "Sorry grandad, you can't buy a coffee in here in anything smaller than a builders bucket." Oh yeah, same goes for flippin' popcorn at the cinema. I like small bags of toffee coated popcorn, why do they only sell bushels of salty stuff that would insult a cow if you offered it to them?
And finally for now. Don't you hate tv or radio panel shows when the guests are over-paid journos or actors and they joke about the miniscule fee they get appearing on the show. If it bothers you that much, don't do it. Notice they get very coy when actual amounts are bandied about: "I understand your advance was £500k for the latest volume of your autobiography" "Oh no, it was nothing like that, and anyway, there were huge cost involved in doing the research and I've had to pay a ghost writer and buy a new printer too." Just admit it: you have too much money but you don't care.
Phew...
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:31, 2 replies)
One particular woman at workLittle miss perfect- hasn't grasped the concept of the word "please". i regularly fantasise about giving her a dry slap.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:30, Reply)
People annoy me1. People who breathe through their mouths
2. People who's lips move whilst they're reading.
3. Tattoos - especially the 'tribal' ones. Well done! You are now graffiti on legs.
4. People who think their pets are humans.
5. People from the city buying second homes in the countryside, pricing the locals out of the market, turning up every other weekend and complaining to the farmer about the noise the cows make.
6. Magners cider and the people who drink it. Fuck off! It's an overpriced sparkling apple juice.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:26, 1 reply)
The WorkieHere is an educated young man of 21, who is so fucking lazy and lacking in any common sense its a little bit scary
All week he has crowed about how he is going to go down to Devon to see his Girlfriend.
And this morning he has phoned in with a migraine.
We do keep trying to tell him that every ruse he tries has been done numerous times including the coming down with a bug gradually through the day then having the next day off and having a dodgy Kebab Sunday night.
James you can't kid a kidder
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:19, 1 reply)
Where do I stopI'm easily annoyed:
People using American spelling when they're British. There is no excuse, the language is called English for a reason, if you wanted to use the corrupt watered-down version, move to the US. This especially pisses me off with the word licence - "licence" is a noun, "license" is a verb; how difficult is this to understand?
Old people in powerful cars. This seems to be a modern trend, the Freds (as my dad used to call them) have moved on from 15 year old cars with a whippet in the passenger seat to spanky new performance cars, but still drive them the exact same way. I'm sure they get the accelerator tuned down deliberately; my car cannot even accelerate that slowly.
People hogging the outside lanes. It's quite simple, you occupy lane 1 whenever its free. lane 2, 3 and 4 are for overtaking *only*. I don't care whether you're turning right in 12 miles time, change lanes nearer the point.
Slow walking people. If you must walk at a speed that makes a snail look quick, walk at the side of the pavement. Down walk slap bang in the middle and then complain when people try and get past you.
In supermarkets, people who insist on leaving their trolleys in the middle of the aisle whilst waiting for their 2 braincells to decided which flavour of low-fat yoghurt is best for them.
People who come round to my desk at work. Send a frigging email: it's quicker for you, quicker for me and I have more chance to focus my full attention on the subject. Some people, like me, understand things better visually than verbally.
People who interupt me whilst eating. I really don't want somebody trying to distract me from my important tasks of providing vital calories and catching up with Internet sites.
Apple fan boys, especially when they misquote Fitt's law to support their badly designed, ugly, designed for morons, yoghurt drinking operating system. If you're a pretentious, soulless, moron with more desire to (bad) style over substance then buy a Mac; don't then dribble on about how much better it is - you're wrong and you're stupid and you're ugly.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:13, 1 reply)
Office colleagues who...-Have no concept of personal space ( I can send you the link you don't have to come and lean over me to look at my screen).
-Have a body odour problem (How can you not know?)
-Butt in to every conversation that goes on whether it has anything to do with them or not
-Ask what someone is talking about on the phone, I don't know it's none of my business and it's not yours either.
-Same for "what is their meeting about?"...if it concerned me I'd fucking be there wouldn't I?
-Hit the keyboard like it's a 50's typewriter, stop it, it will break (probably when someone wraps it round your head).
-Eat all day long...sort of akin to a cow grazing...breakfast cereal, nuts dried fruit, raw vegetables...it's neverending.
-Expect you to be a walking dictionary because english isn't their first language.
-Go out for a walk at lunchtime, come back reeking and then throw the windows wide open so the room freezes and their smell permeates every corner of the room.
-Laugh loud and long at peoples names because they are funny in your native language...strangley they never are in English.
-Take 20 minutes to leave the office ...ffs put your coat on and go don't put your coat on then sit back down at your desk or rummage around in your bag or try and engage me in conversation just leave!
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:05, 3 replies)
currentlyit's one particular actor I'm working with.
Generally, though, it's people who won't meet your eye when talking to you. It's incredibly offensive, indirect, corwardly and manipulative.
I get terribly fucked off with it.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 9:00, 2 replies)
Another one, remembered this about 5 minutes ago.Schoolkids, fair enough they're walking to school, instead of getting mummy to drive them in their shiny
But why when there is a group of them at the pedestrian crossing you'll always find that 3 of them, always girls, were to busy effing talking to see the little green man.
Do they notice and quickly run across when he's flashing? Like fuck! They wait until the red man has appeared and the traffic lights are green and I've started moving forwards then the 9th IQ wakes up and they cross.
But because i have to jab my useless ford brakes on and nearly take them out, as well as the frigging traffic lights, they believe it's my fault!!
The bloody chavs/emos/greebos/scene or whatever the hell they call themselves nowadays that nearly got turned into speed bumps by me this morning got 10 times more abuse back than they gave.
Razor blade sales/thefts are gonna go up in Christchurch this afternoon now.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:59, Reply)
My shower curtainWhy is it every time I go for a shower, the curtain decides it must cling to every available inch of my skin? And why only mine? Why does my wife get away scot free whenever she goes for a shower. I mean her skin is far nicer than mine, but no, only I get lecherous bastard wrapping itself around me. It's bloody creepy.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:58, 2 replies)
people who pee on the toilet seatwhat is so fucking difficult about getting your urine into the large white bowl that you're sitting on?
why is it that in every single ladies toilet at work, there will be a dribble of piss on the seat which i have to clean off before sitting down?
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ascorbate, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:52,
5 replies)
Men who don't realise what a fucking catch I am.Current squeeze not included.
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girlinthehole, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:36,
3 replies)
I'm turning right soonTwats who stay in the right hand lane of a dual carriageway even though there is nobody in front of them, just because they are going to turn right in 3 miles time.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:35, Reply)
As I write this...My flatmate is watching Big Brother. Big god damn, cunt ares brother. How fascinating is it watching a house full of bogans (chavs if you're in the UK) sleeping all day and getting shitfaced? AAARRRGGHHH
(click "I like this" to spread the message - stop BB now)
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:34, 1 reply)
Things that peeve..In no particular order..
People talking to me on train trips. I make 2, long, boring trips each day and come armed with laptop, mobile broadband, movies, Nintendo DS, headphones. When I have my headphones on and am obviously busy with laptop or DS, why the fuck try to strike up a conversation? I actually DONT CARE.
People who try and read what I'm typing on the train, YES YOU TWAT, THATS RIGHT I CAN SEE YOU. Moron.
Customers. I used to work in a CS role, but no more because I discovered, I was totally lacking in empathy and couldn't give a flying fuck most of the time, so I moved to a nice comfy desk job with no customers and no whining staff to babysit.
Guys who describe childbirth as 'a magical moment' or some such crap. It isn't magical for the poor sweating straining female trying to push something watermelon sized out something egg sized, and it sure isn't magical down at the business end either. Actually its quite nauseating.
People who don't read or listen. Announcements and notices are put up for information and to try and prevent you from making a complete dick out of yourself. Pay attention and everyone will be happier for it.
There is sooo much more...but thats enough for now..
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:09, 1 reply)
Customers.Right, this is a huge rant of mine, so just bear with me. I'm 17 and a checkout supervisor at my local supermarket. In the year-and-a-bit that I've been working there, I have come to the conclusion that ALL customers have an IQ of about 12. They have to be some of the most inane cunts of this planet. Here are some examples...
- Just because the express checkout is named as such, all fucking TWENTY of you lining up there at once, when there are, in fact, THREE large checkouts open and free, is not going to make it very fast, is it? So coming up to me when you FINALLY get to the front of the line and remarking "goodness, what a long wait" is NOT going to earn you any sympathy from me. DO NOT use the express checkout!
- We have a discount card called a OneCard. You must swipe this card before you can find out the total price of your order. So, of course, I ask "Have you a OneCard today?" Customer swipes their card. I say, "That'll be $15.95 thank you". Them: "Did the OneCard go through??" Would I be telling you the price if it hadn't? Surely I would ask you to swipe the card again??
- On a similar note, there is a very clear diagram of which way around your card is supposed to be swiped. Use your eyes, you fucking twats.
- If you did not require a trolley when you came in, you do not require one on the way out. Taking the trolley off the end of my checkout will NOT earn you any happy smiles from me.
- At the bulk buy section, there is a lovely little sign which tells you to take a plastic seal and clearly write the 4-digit number on the seal, and attach it to the bag. So WHY must you come up to the checkouts with NO SEAL ON THE BAG? How thick are you??
- If you come up to me and ask me how much something costs, I will have to go and price-check it. I do not memorise the price of every product in the store, so don't you go sighing at me!
- If you are on your mobile phone at checkouts, I will still talk to you. Loudly. "HI! HOW ARE YOU TODAY? HAVE YOU A ONECARD?" Checkout operators are people too. A mere "Hello" would be appreciated.
- If you put your items on the conveyer in a higgledy-piggledy order, it will be packed as such. If you put your bread/eggs on first, don't complain to me when I squash it.
- Just because I work at a supermarket does NOT make me a moron. I am 17, do you really expect me to be a brain surgeon? Treat me with some respect please.
- Keep your children away from me. I do not want their revolting, grubby hands all over my checkout. And your kid is not cute, it looks just the same as every other snot-nosed, dribbly little spawn of Satan in the world, so fuck off.
Having said that, if you are friendly and courteous, you will be treated very well by me. I will go out of my way to help you if you are polite, and will engage in friendly conversation with you. Being a good customer really does get you a long way! The cliche "treat others how you would like to be treated" actually does apply with me. So bear that in mind next time you visit your local supermarket!
Length, etc...you love it.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 8:07, 4 replies)
That stupid bloody oxygen thief that tries to cross the road.Nearly every day there's this doddering old fart that crosses the road outside my house, the pizza hut road in Christchurch, Dorset. (that's for all you wannabe stalkers).
If anyone knows this road, it's as busy as hell would be if there was an explosion at a B3ta gathering and he takes forever to cross this thing, I've timed him once, it took 47 seconds, that doesn't seem like much but when you caused tailbacks for about 3 years and a severely road raged bloke, (See 4x4 drivers) is driving a beat to bits mk3 fiesta, DO NOT cross in front of me, I will do my bit to save oxygen or whatever by squashing you into the fvcking road you dopey old shit.
There is a crossing point 100 yards up the road as well, TOWARDS his house!
Stupid old twat, if I ever get like that mow me down.
rant over, for now. I'm just about to do a school run though........
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 7:48, Reply)
You Brits think YOUR Labour government is bad?So far ours has:
1/ Removed our Air Force's strike capability by turning down a cheap deal for F16s, then mothballing ALL of our Skyhawks and Aermacchis without public approval,
2/ Setting up a shonky "Supreme Court" and removing our right of appeal to the Privy council - again, without public approval,
3/ 55c in our $1.88 per litre petrol is tax for roading, but it goes into a "Consolidated Fund" for anything the government wants.... then says its charging a FURTHER tax for roads....,
4/ Signing up to the Kyoto Protocols in the expectation that we'd get something back, but they hadn't done their sums properly and now we will owe big-time,
5/ Taxing us through the arse for 9 years, and with a huge surplus still saying they won't do tax cuts, until after the election...,
6/ Wording legislation so badly that people engaged in terrorist activity (you really don't need an RPG and grenades to go hunting...) can't be charged as terrorists...,
7/ Increasing the bureaucracy spend to the tune of $9b in 9 years...,
8/ Legislating what you can and can't say in an election year,
9/ Having the PM lie about a signed painting being done by her for a charity auction,
10/ Having the PM make her motorcade break the speed limit to get to the airport to catch a flight to a rugby game, then have the police escort and her driver charged with speeding and reckless endangerment,
11/ Loudly and arrogantly proclaim we are nuclear-free when we have lots of radioactive stuff here, and stifling all discussion on nuclear power and turning off coal power stations when once again we may have power blackouts due to hydro lakes having low levels and a number of experts saying hydro alone can't meet our power needs in the next 10 years,
12/ Legislating the Resource Management Act, which in reality is to ensure any development works being planned are able to be tied up in the courts for years and be prohibitively expensive to pursue.... and if it gets Resource Consent, that can still be overturned on the whim of the Minister for the Environment,
13/ The PM being described as a "popular and competent Prime Minister"... by the PM herself.
My pet peeve are incompetent socialists.
Then again, are there any other kind???
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 7:43, 6 replies)
ArghPeople in my year (final year) who have managed to go through THIRTEEN YEARS of eduation and are still such stupid idiots.
Worse than that: they are the "popular" people.
Worse than THAT: the pathetic people who act really stupid and ignorant even though you may have been having a perfectly intelligent conversation with them a few minutes ago.
Since when did stupid become the new black?
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 7:43, 2 replies)
Clickage for the male dog thingMy spinster neighbour had a great dane and there were often howls of please late at night from them both....
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 7:35, Reply)
I'm a reverse grammar Nazi.I get disproportionately annoyed when people talk about language as if there can be an objectively correct way to express yourself, seperate from common use or understanding. There isn't. And I have a degree majoring in English so I know.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 7:34, 1 reply)
People who drive Hummers.Or Humvees, whatever the fuck they call them. Arseholes, the lot of them.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 7:18, Reply)
this is easyme and facebook. the thief of time - the social notworking site, how many days did it suck away only to result in this form of banter:
- Al'right Colin, how are you then? All right?
- Yeah, eh, yeah, nice to see you. What, er, how's, how's Robin? All right then?
- Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, well, take care.
- Yeah, give my love to the family.
- O.K.! See you!
- Cunt.
if you don't know the references then you're probably one of them. oh and please don't get me started on status updates, applications (The number of applications to someone's profile on facebook is inversely proportional to their IQ (thanks to CC)), gifts, floaty above head pictures, and all those rants below par comedians are still using?
Will i logon today to see whats new? Of course i will i love it and thats all the more upsetting.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 6:56, 3 replies)
I'm sure lots of Americans are lovely...... the ones I've met are anyway.
But stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason and my mind is narrower than a nun's twat so I'm sticking with my bigoted view.
So there.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 5:59, 3 replies)
Noisy keyboards.Well, office noise in general. I work in an open office that is nothing but rows of desks. 25 people are in that office answering constantly-ringing phones and talking to fellow sales reps (who are on mobile phones) as LOUD AS THEY POSSIBLY CAN, and shouting across the room at each other over the din, and everyone is typing on those annoying loud clickety-clackety keyboards complete with sticky space bar that goes KACHUNK every time they touch it and then there is the endless toodle-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle of the telephones and before long I want to SHAKE SOMEBOY'S THROAT{#$`+{&`#+${%`&+#${%`;6[45@;.
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 5:48, 3 replies)
BBC NewsAs some people may know, i live in Thailand. In my house one of the only English channels i get is BBC News. I like BBC news. However what really really reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally pisses me off is getting up in the morning, turning on BBC News and no no no its not BBC News. Its bloody BBC World News America.
BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPERATION not bloody BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPERATION WORLD NEWS AMERICA or BBCWNA!!!. Why do we need to hear about the Sceptic Tanks' news??
BBC News is famed for its impartial reporting. Why do we need a whole 35minutes dedicated to American news??? WHY WHY WHY PLEASE TELL ME WHY?
To make matters worse there is no ticker tape at the bottom with the latest Sports News Either.
Click i like this if you want BBC world news America to just go and fuck right off!
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 5:40, 2 replies)
'Would of'No, no, no, no, NO!
It's 'would've' - the ' indicates the ha from have is missing, as in 'would have'.
Same goes with 'Should of' and 'Could of' (Though I've not seen those bastardised anywhere near as often).
GAH!!!!!!
(, Fri 2 May 2008, 5:30, 3 replies)
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