I have to agree with Lunar Jim here
HoN has always struck me as the worst way of showing yourself off - in putting yourself up there it has always seemed to me that you are opening yourself up to people only valuing you for one thing: looks.
Why people would want others to look at them and weigh them up like a piece of meat is beyond me. There's more to people than looks; what can you tell of someone's dreams by staring at their chest (save perhaps their wish to get a larger cleavage?)
So that's why I'm not putting myself up there for your filthy filthy minds.
And I've rated you all Tens. Every goddamn one of you. Except chickenlady. Who I did thrice.
( Dave the Mighty, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:40, Reply)

Admin confirmed me
at long last! so if anyone would like..

www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=REELEQA&key=FCK

and can someone please invite me to the great b3ta race!...on HoN
(Justforyou love., Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:31, Reply)

Since I seem to be 6th on the board I should really at least tell a tale
Long time reader, VERY rare poster. I seem to spend most of my time on one of the other internet mongboards.

I've never really tried the whole online personals thing. I've met an awful lot of awful people from the internet, and the was the nekkid cocaine stabbing incident (although it has been universally agreed he deserved it) but never looked for love.

The closest thing I have come to a personal is a column in my college newspaper that attracted some attention. It was the usual pretentious tosh beloved of earnest indie kids (the original ones I mean, way back when), but to cut a long story short it did get me into the pants of the fragrant Alyson. she was a standard issue messed up little rich girl. She lived with her mum and step dad in a massive house in the country, while her father and brother had moved to the US. I should have seen the signs for male abondment issues a mile off, but true to form for crazy posh girls she was dynamite in bed and at that age I just counted my blessings.

Until it got just a bit too weird even for me. To continue the pretence of her being a nice little girl, I would always sleep in one of the spare rooms when I stayed the night. Of course, 2 minutes after her mum went to bed I'd be backskuttling her sweet little daughter over the bedstead.
The house was old and freezing so she often give me a t-shirt to sleep in, one of her brother's, in fact she would insist I wore it, and never let me take it off when bumping uglies.
So far so odd, until I found out that of the many spare rooms in her mum's pile, I always used to sleep in her brother's.
The final straw came when I noticed she always seemed to stare at a point on the wall when she was on top, an old family pic. She always seemed to come when she was oon top... Then one day, while I was wearing his t-shirt, shagging her in his bed, while she was looking at his picture, she called out her brother's name.

I did what any self respecting gentleman would do. Carried on, finished off, and legged it out the window when she finally fell asleep.
(voodo_kinky, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:30, Reply)

LollyLegs
Who is lollylegs?!

I`ve never seen the nick before...
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:28, Reply)

Shirt!
Hehe.. yes shirts really!

I`ve just found the b3ta shop... and Vipros, we love ya really ;)
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:27, Reply)

Fecksucks
I can't believe I'm ranked lower than people who haven't even had their pics approved! Even more worrying I can't actually tell what sex some of you are...

hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEUNMK-WME
( dan j the filthy bastard, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:25, Reply)

still only a 6.0
I'm upset. I went out for the morning and come back to find that I'm still only a 6.0

gutted
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:18, Reply)

hee hee
Ticking the meet me option has provided me with many hours of amusement. I seem to be a magnet for men in the armed forces, as mentioned previously. I also appear to have attracted the attention of an overly religious man. I'm an atheist. It would never work.

I've also set up an alternate email address so I can message these peoples.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Tue 18 Sep 2007, 13:05, Reply)

Beer drinkers and hell raisers
Back when I was pretending to be bisexual (because it's so alternative), I placed an ad in a gay newspaper looking for women or couples. (Yes, I am very old, pre-internet even.) Most of the ads in this paper were (and probably still are) as boring as batshit, being confined to sensible-shoed earnest lesbians and men interested in cock, cut or uncut, so my ad with its reference to ZZ Top and general alternativeness was made Personal of the Week, probably because it prevented the Personals editor from falling asleep at his desk.

Unsurprisingly, I only got one answer, from a pleasant seeming couple who lived in groovy St Kilda (for Melbournians, this is back when St Kilda was still a bit downmarket). I agreed to catch up with them after seeing L7 and the Cosmic Psychos at the Palace. After the gig I popped around and had a few beers with them, listened to Radio Birdman and talked music. She was a slightly hippy looking alternachick who was pleasantly plump, he was an ex-army dude who, although OK looking, gave off an unmistakable whiff of desperation. Still, we're just chatting about punk rock at this stage, no need to get huffy. So far, an ideal evening.

As it got late it wasn't practical to go home, so the girl brought me some blankets and let me sleep on the couch... "unless you want sex?" she whispered discreetly.

"No", I replied, "If it was just you I'd consider it, but your guy..." *shrug*

It's the sort of social blunder 18 year olds make. I lay on the couch all night listening to them fight bitterly. Was it *my* fault she decided to share this information with her partner? I fled home as soon as I woke up. Later, I heard through the queer grapevine that they had divorced, and I caught a glimpse of her in Albert Park having ditched the hippy look and scrubbed up as a rather attractive professional lesbian.

I am now back on solids.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:36, Reply)

What has become of stusut79?
????????
(Ghost Batty Rider, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:35, Reply)

Further to requests...
I have now added a cock pic in my b3ta profile.

Enjoy.

What?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:34, Reply)

I once...
...walked around a nightclub wearing a name badge that proudly declared "I like dirty sluts"....

that count?

length? well... it's cold out
( BulldogUgly Visit my profile to see what's between my legs, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:29, Reply)

danj
ooh... musselly :P
(Sammyj, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:27, Reply)

Not surprising
I feel sorry for the people with lower scores than me...especially with this pic

hotornot.com/r/?eid=REELK8A-AMW
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:26, Reply)

At least I've not incriminated myself too much on these boards...
but by the looks of it I don't know any other b3tans out there in the real world. So I'm safe (I hope).

We're not a bad looking bunch on the whole are we?
(Calamity wetter than a fish's wet bits - bloody rain on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:20, Reply)

B3ta t-shirt
..does posting a picture of me in the b3ta shirt get the extra points ^_^
hotornot.com/r/?eid=REELGRO-JBD
( MadAdamUk was last alive on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 12:01, Reply)

Emily B-D
My comments should've been heartwarming *despite* my allusions to your racks.

If I had boobs I'd never leave the house...
... oh, wait a moment.. I *have* got boobs.

Damned gynecomastia.
(Vic Flange, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:59, Reply)

Incase i cannot be found... i reside here...
Just above the pretty people, but why i do is a mystery
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:45, Reply)

Something is seriously wrong...
... i`m 29th!? With an average of 8 something?!

What is wrong with you people! There are many better looking people than i!

Oh well.. cant complain

*whistles*
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:42, Reply)

Gay
Yes, men can vote for men and women for women... I automatically knock off a heterosexuality point for women, though (so grandmasterfluffles would get an 8 even though she's clearly a 9, despite having apparently lied about the size of her bazooms).
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:39, Reply)

I have no issue wqith posting my face...
on a fwapping site... but there is no way I am having my face associated with some of the parc I have divulged here...

fat birds need love too... they just gotta pay...

or something along those lines...

shoot me now
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:33, Reply)

Medibot's doing the cat's arse mouth! Sideways!
hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEYRLN-XYV

and is scoring higher than me

www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEQSLH

I've only got 16 votes, get on there & vote, even if it's a 1....cheers.
( Fathter Puddytat Kill Kill dat widdle boid is mine on, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:27, Reply)

gay ?
im worried, can men vote for men and women vote for women ? what if my 7 is actually coming from other men !! *shivers*
(maxumus HEY!.... diddly dee, de de de de de de, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:24, Reply)

More wanking fodder!
hotornot.com/r/?eid=REEUNMK-WME
( dan j the filthy bastard, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:20, Reply)

W00h
5.5. I'm normaaaaaaaaaaaaaal.

I'm assuming the low scores are courtesy of people who's idea of beauty is a croydon facelift and big-ass hooped earrings.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:19, Reply)

Weightings
A quick analysis of my histogram shows that I should be about a 5. In fact I'm showing as 6.1, which means that the higher scores seem to be weighted more heavily than lower ones.

A clever trick I reckon, to make us folk who look like we've run into a wall feel a bit better about ourselves.

Except that I've just shattered the illusion now. Bugger!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:18, Reply)

Lunar Jim
Whilst your concern is heartwarming (and would have a lot more gravitas were it not for your comment about our racks), in setting up the list I was motivated somewhat by the desire to expose the sort of tools who keep crapping on about fat women, munters etc. At this point I should thank Rachelswipe for putting the idea in my head with her suggestion that the guys who do this should be compelled to post head and cock shots for our point-and-laugh edification.

I just updated my photo to choose a particularly munterish photo of myself on a beanbag. I look forward to the challenge of distinguishing between myself and the beanbag.

And now, I'm off to the gym!
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:17, Reply)

If only I photographed well
I always look like I should be holding a board with a lengthy number on it...
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:15, Reply)

grandmasterfluffles
I'm mostly fives. This rating system they use makes no sense whatsoever. Ah well, bit of fun, eh?
( Kroney, Tue 18 Sep 2007, 11:10, Reply)