sabotage
my school had a public server that students would put assignments on so they could work on them from anywhere. i would look up homework that i needed to do, change the name and then change the date to a day before so that it looked like they copied me. not really sabotage but i got a few people in trouble for copying me...

also razored the top of this one guy's diablo 2 cd so that he had to shell out forty more bucks to get a new one.
(Mr_Alex, Sun 8 May 2005, 6:30, Reply)

My petty act, but it runs in the family

Once I saved and saved to buy this really great silver thingy, and when I went to buy it the fecal-headed cuckolder of his own father who ran the shop marked it up first, telling me the price of silver went up, so he had to raise the price.

I couldn't afford it anymore, I had promised it to my beloved, and I was wanting oh so much to strangle the socially challenged dung-munching pindick, but I lacked the courage. And the strength. All I had was my brains, my degree in economics, and my deep dark cold burning for revenge.

So I got real real rich and then through dummy corporations fronted by a pair of fat hick twit brothers I cornered the world silver market.

Caused a small panic and I made billions.

Then there was the time my grampa Dietrich got pissed at some smelly loudmouth bureaucrat what lived down the way a bit. Planted a bomb in his briefcase, he did, but somehow it didn't hurt the little bugger. Lotsa guys in uniform got put down after that one, though, so Gramp said it wasn't a total loss.
(meatybrain, Sun 8 May 2005, 5:55, Reply)

Was inspired...
After reading other posts have repeated the printscreen set as wall paper and then hide icons to my housemates purely for my own amusement.

From my days in halls some students unscrewed the shower nozzels before filling them generously with powder paint an then screwed them together. Done of course to every shower in the building. Cue many pink from scrubbing and grumpy looking students.
( Fish, My keyboard has dsylexia built in., Sun 8 May 2005, 3:02, Reply)

sabotage + karma combination
once upon a time, my sister and her then-fiancee (they've split up) were being all chummy and all over each other, when he came down to visit her.
as im the typical 'younger brother who needs to be treated like shit' figure, i got all this typical verbal abuse (she was taking the moral highground coz she was getting some and i wasnt (allbeit from someone who looked like... im not even gonna go into it but he was butt-ugly!))
anyway. by means of revenge, i broke the wooden slats off her bed so they fell straight through to the floor when they next went up for their regular fuck-a-thons.
how i honestly expected to get away with it i dont know, but it was fun!
and here comes the karma part.
that bed became mine all of 3 weeks later, and even though the slats had been fixed, they were less than secure.........
(I R Tomsk pyromaniacs will only inflame the situation, Sun 8 May 2005, 0:41, Reply)

One of my 'friends'...
... happened to be a rigt cow. She was year older than me at the time (I was around 15). She shagged anything with a pulse (including a guy I really liked at the time) and basically slutted around a lot. Then, her hardcore religious dad decided she needed advanced art tuition in a different school and sent her out of town.

In the meantime we remained in contact through snail mail. On one occasion she started blustering about her latest "beau" and sent me a photograph of the guy's erect mahood with her name (Sue for the sake of example) scrawled just above his pubic bone (presumably in permanent marker). On the back of the photo there was a caption which went something like "Hasn't he got a big one?", including the obligatory 'Lots of Love, Sue XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX' signature.

Thinking about all the times she'd called me fat and ugly, I slyly posted the picture through her family's mail box and let time do the rest of the work.

Not only was she brought home almost immediately, but grounded for a pretty long time. Best bit comes here: she knew that the only person who could have posted it was me, but she was way too proud to admit that her dad could ground her or tell her off - hence she still called me to tell me she was back. I visited her everyday after that and relished her 'heartbreak' over losing the 'man of her dreams'(along with the excuse that her headmaster had gotten her thrown out of the school after catching her giving the aforementioned big-manhood-guy head in an empty classroom after school hours).

When she was finally allowed out again (and I never spoke to her again) she apparently fell pregnant (news from her mum to my mum to me) because the sole method of contraception she used was the morning-after-pill. And by then she must have had it 60 times (no kidding). Either way something didn't work and little bubba rcomes into the world. Daddy? unknown.

It's funny, I sabotaged and so did Karma.

Oh well...
(s_nails, Sun 8 May 2005, 0:05, Reply)

when i left my old band due to a big fuck off fight
I went to our practice room to collect my equipment and "re-wired" the singers guitar amp.
( You drive like a mong in a dodgem today is, Sat 7 May 2005, 23:50, Reply)

there's a piece of software called a dead mans switch, you set it so that if you don't activate it every month or week
it will run another application.
it was invented to notify your online geeks friends when you die
but it can do other things

such as getting winzip to compress everything into a file encyrpted with a 128 charachter password and delete all the originals

change passwords

severely fuck up the back up restore system

if you can create a super admin account on a server and set it to run under that, then you can say goodbye to an entire office network if you and a bunch of coworkers got fired without being paid

hypothetically speaking of course
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Sat 7 May 2005, 22:41, Reply)

petty sabotage
I had a boss from hell,so before i left my job i have been rubbing the end of my dick around the rim of her tea cup for six weeks.
(shorty, Sat 7 May 2005, 22:23, Reply)

I'm usually too lazy for sabotage...
But the PCs at PC World have 'net access...
( Sydney Bintstow, Sat 7 May 2005, 21:15, Reply)

sabotage on th ex (and her family)
AFTER A MESSY SPLIT FROM MY EX i decided to declare revenge for cheating on me, but in a way that would huck her and her new bloke up.

i lost him his job by retrning items he stole from the computer shop he worked at wanting my warranty on the items

and when my house was rejected i got my ex sacked (she worked at the housing company i went to) for discriminationas a result of our re4lationship - also resulting in being put on top of the list for a 3 bed house
( hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Sat 7 May 2005, 20:25, Reply)

Underwear...
A "mate" of ours left his bag over my house one day. So the day after, I invited a bunch of mates over excluding him. We went through his bag finding nothing out of the ordinary apart from a spear pair of Ben Sherman boxer shorts?! So we thought we could have some fun!
At first we squirted some hand cream onto the cruch and rubbed it in a bit to look like cum. Then we decided to smear some Marmite on the ass to look like shit. That's when we completly lost our minds.
Some things we did to them:
*smeared them in mud
*dipped them in the hole where the washing line goes (full of rusty rainwater, leaves and sludge).
*drilled a hole in them(don't ask why)
*flung them into a slodgy ditch
*pissed on a tree, and dipped them in it
*got dog shit out of the bin and smeared it on
etc
We then put the pants in a carrier bag, put them back in the "mate's" bag and invited him over.
After explaining to him that "my cousins" took the pants over the park and messed about, we showed him. The look on his face was priceless!
And he was convinced that it wasn't shit but chocolate icecream! And he kept them!
Incase you were wondering, heres some pics of the shitty pants...

(I Want Billy, Sat 7 May 2005, 19:30, Reply)

Toilets
One of my friends, Michael, is particularly good with words. He also like pranks, but unlike most, he puts some thought into it, I think he finds that putting disgusting things in peoples food/drink and other such pranks too easy. Many letters have been written by this guy, including the one to the Sun's Dear Deardrie column that basically said "I came home from uni for christmas and got my sister pregnant" and the one to his best mate saying that he had been chosen to go on who wants to be a millionaire if he could answer the question "how much is that doggy in the window?"

My favourite of these kind of pranks was when we were still at sixth form. We were discussing how one of our friends goes to the toilet WAY too often, like once per hour, and we thought it would be funny to embarass her with a prank. Cut to the sixth form computer room, where Michael, me and a couple others are writing a note for the toilets. This note read something like "Due to the expected water shortages, the school is putting a limit on toilet usage. You may only go twice a day, and you must ask Mrs. Minshall [head of sixth form] before you use the toilets. This means you Rebecca Robins! [the friend]"

This was stuck on the toilet door. We actually got a fairly accurate forge of our head of sixth form's signature on the bottom. Most people looked, laughed, then entered the toilets. Our friend, who's poor bladder control is only matched by her poor temper control, flew right off the handle. The funnyest bit, though, is one of the popular girls, the one we all really hated I might add, took it seriously and actually asked the head of sixth form to use the toilet, at which point the notes were removed from the toilet doors. The head of sixth form was not amused, although our head of year found it pretty funny.
( Styxx hates when people talk in the third person, Sat 7 May 2005, 18:52, Reply)

Pool Furniture Antics
I'm blissfully innocent of the events related in this tale...

My brother and a friend, in response to the perceived haranguing of my group of holiday friends by annoying french security guards (wehat exactly is wrong with hollering and whooing your way through a family-oriented campsite at 4am?) proceeded on our last night to sneak into the swimming pool area (which was huge and full of loungers, chairs, parasols etc.), and place every single item of furniture in the pool. It took three hours. Unfortunately, just as they finished, said security guards shone torches over the pool and proceeded to give chase. They escaped, and merrily sailed back to Blighty with a warm feeling of victory in their hearts. This feeling was somewhat damaged when, just as we got in the house, a phone call arrived from a friend still at the campsite saying he had been blamed and was going to be chucked off unless my brother phoned and admitted his guilt. Which was rather embarrassing. They still let us go back though...fools!
(spangledonkey I've got a mouse. His name is Gerald., Sat 7 May 2005, 17:58, Reply)

Ass Biscuit
I know some of my friends read B3ta, and theres a high chance the victim will read this, but oh well...

Theres a guy in our group called Adam. Funny guy, but so easy to play pranks on. Theres no real revenge or sabotage here, but its a good laugh non the less.
The first pretty bad prank was taking a biscuit, viciously rubbing it along my ass, and replacing it one biscuit down in the pack. I kept hold of the top one, and munched it merrily, reassuring him the biscuits were "clean". He ate the whole thing before we exploded with laughter. Many many minor pranks later, we are out in town drinking cocktails. Adam leaves us his layered Red, yellow red cocktail, and goes for a piss. He comes back, and now has a murky green cocktail - "we couldnt resist mate, we mixed both layers, sorry". At first he was untrusting, but he soon drank the delicious cocktail. It was not until afterwards we releaved it was actually cleaning shit from a rag behind the bar, mixed with pint dregs, and the shite out the ash tray. How we laughed.

He regularly informs me that he's going to get me back, and when he does i "will cry. Cry and bleed!"

Edit - Just remembered, we, like many other B3tans got some headed not paper from out sixth form and typed him out an official letter and snuck it into the regsiter to be delivered to him during afternoon registration. It informed him he had been rejected as his personal hygiene was poor.
(Nyphur, Sat 7 May 2005, 17:36, Reply)

Cider = Evil
last year I lived with 4 people, one of whom was the ultimate dickish bimbo, she hated all of us and would do her cooking in another flat to avoid us. so to the cider, one night (later on in the year and running out of money) we got some cider in, I then preceeded to get naked, started abusing my flat mates and waving my cock in my rather scary northern irish protestant flatmate's face. but...the crowning glory was putting my willy in most of the girl i hated's food, the best part being the dent the 'head' left in her hot chocolate.
ah thankyou.
(sextuple rooty, Sat 7 May 2005, 16:56, Reply)

One I didn't come up with but wish I did...
Someone on campus got hold of some university headed paper. They printed out letters and delivered them do all 120 houses on campus announcing that there was a hoover inspection and could students bring their hoovers to the admin block.

The next day, the campus was filled with students carrying hoovers around.
(Hagis, Sat 7 May 2005, 16:55, Reply)

Some fucking student wasters...
...blocked up our front door with an old sofa so we raped their mothers.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 7 May 2005, 16:46, Reply)

Sofa So Good
The house next to us at uni were a pain during exams, playing music loud, having BBQ's outside when people we revising for finals etc...

After the end of the year, people started moving out of the houses on campus. Any old sofas that several students had bought from a shop in town for £20 had to be removed from the houses at the end of term, something to do with fire regulations. My friends discovered a sofa that fitted perfectly into the recessed door ways that the houses had. Next door couldn't get out as the sofa blocked them in.
(Hagis, Sat 7 May 2005, 16:17, Reply)

Oscillascope Madness
Me and a friend were still in y6 (Not yet at high school, for you old folk) , and we'd been dragged to an open day at heckmondwike grammar school, in order to brainwash us into to going.

The pride and joy of the headmaster was his science display in one of the labs. He even had 2 prefects there, to guard it (although officially, they were there to help out).

Whilst their backs were turned, petty me snuck up and turned every knob (arf) lever and switch i could find, before retreating to a safe distance.

How we laughed as we saw a supernova-red headmaster bellowing at two of his students for 'fucking up his display' in front of the toffee-nosed parents there, until one of them started to cry and ran out of the room.

We never ended up at hecky grammar.

Not quite an exploding piano, but i feel that the length, girth, surface area and circumference more than make up for it.
(Attention Whore, Sat 7 May 2005, 15:19, Reply)

When I was a kid...
I was a bit angry. Well, angry for a six year old. So, I took my Dads hammer and proceeded to bang 4" holes in the wall of my Dads office.

That's not all. I succeeded in blaming it on my four year old brother...

Oh the shame.
(meggcup, Sat 7 May 2005, 14:30, Reply)

Chocolate
I sliced off the bottom layer of a rolo, scooped out the caramel and compacted chilli powder in its place. I then melted the previously sliced chocolate over the bottom to cover the base. I placed the 'landmine rolo' back in its packet and fed to my cousin. Laugh? She nearly choked.
(TheDave, Sat 7 May 2005, 14:08, Reply)

Housemates
My housemates have absolutly no sense of hygeine so when they've not washed up for a week I collect all their dirty dishes and put them in their rooms... petty but satisfying
(maskerade, Sat 7 May 2005, 13:52, Reply)

bacteria
back when i was in high school we were cultivating bacteria in those petri dishes in a science class. there was another kid i hated in the class so i smeared this petri dish & bacteria mix all through his pencil case. he was sick for a week just after.

probably just coincidence, but it felt good none the less.
(niazipan, Sat 7 May 2005, 12:50, Reply)

well, we called that sabotage
while it was not. With a gang of guys in mid-90s we made our way on top of a 4 storey tower with a flagpost, dominating a busy crossroad in Moscow (i mean 6+6 lanes in one street and 3+3 the other, just for the scale) and hung there the anarchy flag (black with a red star in the middle). it survived a day, i think. If we did it today we'd probably go in jail, but then it was harmless.
(Restoration Dept., Sat 7 May 2005, 12:34, Reply)

I lived with a scrawny welshman who wanted to gain weight.....
....so he had some creatine (is that what its called?) weight gain powder which he scoffed on a regular basis.

So we replaced it with flour.

He never noticed.
( Spaniels Ears, Sat 7 May 2005, 12:28, Reply)

Not much...
But I stuck a fridge magnet to the back of a school computer. Don't know if anything even happened.
(NPC, Sat 7 May 2005, 12:13, Reply)

Cunning
Very, very Subtley went round the back of my house on a sunny day and had a piss in my super soaker tank. Then invited my annoying sis down to have a water fight. She appears and I spray the bitch. Lol. All she had to say was, "why did you use warm water?"
(nickanytime, Sat 7 May 2005, 11:59, Reply)

Cress, Lots of Cress
A friend was going away for a holiday, and as I say, it was a friend.

However, the apartment he had entrusted us to take care of had underfloor heating, so we had the amusing idea of first saturating the carpet with water, and then spreading quantities of cress seeds across the carpet.

when he returned, he had a full floor of cress growing, a priceless sight.
(b3ta2, Sat 7 May 2005, 11:35, Reply)

upgrade your moped
at the age of 15
we used to steal old mopeds and fill the tank with 90° alcohol..very fun to see how fast those can go. not very long though as the engine overloads and finally explodes.
we once did it to a guy we hated (filling is gas tank while he was in class) we sat there watching until he took his moped to get back home. but as he wasn't aware he just went full gas resulting in an amazing backflip and his moped just kept crawling in circles until the engine went red and exploded..ah ah ah
(he could have killed himself)
( olivier8 (euroloon), Sat 7 May 2005, 11:09, Reply)