Davina McCall
Makes me shit
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:49, 2 replies)

Centipedes..
They just make me freak out! I cannot stand the sight or thought of those freaks with hundreds of legs.
Case in point, I was relaxing at home one night during the summer, when dad asks me to go get him a drink. Being the nice person I am, I go to downstairs and am greeted with the sight of TWO centipedes mating! I have never screamed so loudly in my life. I ran off and hid in my room under the coveres until dad realized what happened and killed them both for me.
Of course, my dad seems to find it funny how I freak out over them...
(Keylynn managed to steal 53 pineapples from a goat farmer, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:47, 1 reply)

Needles....
....syringes, to be presice. I have no problem with going to the doctors to get a jab, thats a nice clean needle, stuck in my arm by a professional. Iv'e no probs with the whopping great needle the dentist sticks into your gum when you need a tooth drilled. I've certainly got no problem with the needles that my mum used to fix the clothes that I used to ruin as a kid....

No, I have a real phobia...if thats the right word.. for the dirty, filty needle that used to litter the streets. I guess it comes from my generation, if you remember the AIDS adverts of the 1980's then chances are you are the same.

I remember doing my paper round at the age of about 13 (maybe?) and treading on a used smack needle. I remember the sound it made and the mess it made. Even though I was wearing thick bovver boots at the time, I remember the sole of my foot feeling tender and exposed. Just the very thought of the needle going into me was too much.

I threw up, there and then, on the spot. You know what? if I was to do the same again today, Id probably yak again.
(specialbrew, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:41, Reply)

Being poked savagely...
in the ribs. Just typing this is making me think a member of my family is gonna charge over and prod me in the side.
If some fucker does do it I'm walking around until I forget about it with my elbows at my sides and side stepping and twisting like I'm a soldier in fucking Iraq.


Also Wasps. Evil fucking things. I can't resume normal functioning until the little bastard(s) either dead, dead or fucked off out of my way for definate.


Great. Just imagined a giant wasp stinging me in the ribs =(

My skin is crawling like hell!!!
(Mr G to you , Fathead, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:40, Reply)

phobias are my specialty
i have the normals such as vertigo and clausotrophobia.

i also have an uncanny aversion to velvet. if i touch it, i will literally have a gag reaction. what frightens me the most is the thought of biting into it or putting it in my mouth and not being able to get it out again. makes me feel so nauseous.... blueeeugh.

i also have a phobia of being sick. if i feel sick, i will start panicking and if i actually go so far as to be sick, i'll cry for hours.

finally, we come to my phobia of blades but only if someone else is holding them. im perfectly fine myself... in fact, i am constantly being careless and nicking my fingers. if someone else is say cutting up something like a cake or just carrying a knife through from the kitchen, i will get very far away. my dear old pa noticed how i act so nervously and thought it'd be funny to brandish the knife he was using to cut up dinner with in my face. i screamed, ran away and locked myself in the bathroom, and burst into tears. after a while, he coaxed me out.

however, im not afraid of spiders.
(ladyintheradiator, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:35, Reply)

Noodles!
I have a fear of eating noodles...

I fear that while swallowing noodles (unchewed so still whole and stringy like) that I will sneeze and the noodles will travel through my nasal passages and come out my nostrils and be left hanging in my throat and nose at the same time!

Even looking at noodles make me squirm as i can feel them getting stuck!
And why the noodles would be swallowed unchewed...i don't know
(harris_hog, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:19, 1 reply)

Lorries
Not quite a phobia, but I really hate lorries and trucks and vans. More specifically, I hate walking on the pavement when a large vehicle is coming towards me on the road. Even though I know I'm on pavement and I'm not going to get hit, I have to close my eyes until it's passed.

I can trace this fear back to a time in France, when I was sitting in the passenger seat of my Dad's car. Being on the wrong side of the road the oncoming traffic was on my side, and we were driving on a small shortcut road to the port at Dunkirk. It was pissing with rain and hundreds of massive lorries were zooming past us on my side. Every time one went by our car shook and I was convinced I was going to die. Now I'm convinced I'm going to die at the hands of a lorry.
(Fuiru Sting, where is thy death?, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:15, Reply)

Balloon's... and crayons...
A good freind of mine is terrified of blown up balloons... so we decided to fill his room with balloons whilst others get him drunk, he passes out, place him in room... cue him waking up in a room full of balloons... I must confess I did feel quite bad as he did have a bit of a breakdown, ahh well!

And me I hate, nae am scared of crayons... and I have no idea why...
(Jack Bravado, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:14, Reply)

Walking barefoot on long(ish) grass...
...it absolutely TERRIFIES me! I hate the thought that I'm treading barefoot on all the creepy-crawlies that might be lurking within. Worse still, that i'll have to scrape mashed insect from between my toes.

I think it stems from actually treading on a bee when I was little.
*Shudders*
(Bob Frapples is de-lurking on, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:13, Reply)

Fishing (with an "H" - not a "T", you dirty-minded people)
It goes back to when I was maybe fifteen - we were on summer holidays at a little town on the far north coast of New South Wales. Most mornings, my father and I would get up early, go to the beach and fish - standing waist deep while the waves broke around us, trying to catch lunch or dinner.

One particular morning, as I was fishing, and not catching anything, a larger than normal wave approached. I took a few steps backward, where the water was not so deep, and as I did, less than a foot in front of me, was a large, open mouth full of really sharp teeth. The shark proceeded to chomp down on where I had been only a second or two ago.

I promptly emptied my bladder in record time, all while sprinting backwards at a great rate of knots. And to tie in with the QOTW from two weeks earlier, had I not had a good early morning shit before leaving home, I would have emptied all of that in to my shorts.

I've never been fishing again. I don't even like watching fishing shows or scenes on TV.
(Maclir, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:10, 1 reply)

Tall buildings? Nope, just the one!
For some reason I'm absolutely petrified of falling off the HSBC Tower in Canary Wharf.

Trouble is I once saw a picture of the roof of the tower-it's got a garden and absolutely no safety rail, resulting in a very vivid nightmare. And even though that was years ago, I can't even look at pictures of the thing!

I actually wanted to find a picture of the roof garden- but just looking it up on google images makes me want to cry.

Length? Height more like...
(presenttense, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:10, Reply)

toes
they are like uneccessary tentacles on the end of your feet. disgusting.
(papa bouba slap your face, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:04, 2 replies)

I'm absolutely terrified of
Polystyrene. Can't be around the stuff. If I get given anything that is packaged in it, I have to leave the room. I don't like the look of it, I don't like the sound of it, and I feel physically sick if I'm forced to be anywhere near it.
Which is a bit impractical when your new cooker arrives and you can't touch it or look at it until someone has come in and unpacked it for you
(The Who Bird is eating Jaffa Cakes on, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 20:02, Reply)

large-scale machinery and engineering
particularly connected to electricity generation.
what makes this a phobia rather than just a fear of being crushed or electrocuted is that such objects seem to be imbued with a deep malevolence, even if they pose no real threat. i cannot even bear to converse with people about them. writing this is hard.
some things that particularly 'set me off' are: generating turbines, wind turbines (but not windmills), cooling towers, nuclear reactors (these trigger a particularly strong reaction, especially the "swimming pool" type), hydroelectric dams, the engine thing in "event horizon", cooling towers (oh god), pylons (they thrum), the place where a suspension bridge's main cables are achored, bells inside belltowers, water wheels, the large hadron collider, and super kamiokande.

oh i'm shaking. *post hurriedly*
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:56, 4 replies)

Buttons
My wife has a phobia of buttons, the bigger and more plasticy they are the better response they bring. It might be a bit cruel but I like to see how close to her face I can get them before she goes mental.
(Plumstix has been spying on you since, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:48, 1 reply)

Wasps. Evil critters.
So, ever since i was a young 'un, i've been mortally afriad of wasps.

I'm not exactly Mr. Courage, but i can stand my ground when needed - unless it's against a wasp.
Bees? No problem. Wasp? I'm gone.

The earliest memory i have of running away from a wasp was right after my mother showed me there was nothing to be afriad of. How, you ask? Well, she sat me down at the table, put a piece of meat on my hand and held me still. She then held me as to let a wasp onto my hand and take the meat, it didn't sting me but jesus christ i was scared.

I was only 11 or 12. Ever since then i have been running away from wasps. At a picnic, eating outside and if one gets into my room, i'll call the better half or my little sister to get it out.

I am a man.

Wasps are nasty evil buggers anyway.
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:45, 2 replies)

Workboresme has just reminded me....
Maggots Ew!!

Even saying the word gives me the shudders.

You know in room 101 in 1984. Well if I was put near maggots I would betray my own flesh and blood and smile doing it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:42, 4 replies)

People
Not you lovely lot, but the endless stream of unhinged tag-nuts clinging to the wiry hairs around the arse of society that we have to contend with these days.

It's probably an incredibly small minority that make everybody elses lives a misery, and I can't be arsed to wade through news websites to find links to yet another under 20 year old scrote or scrote-ess who thinks them and their gang of cock mates can do what they want, and maybe it's that type of shite-for-brains who you remember over and above the others, but the sheer, total and utter dreadfulness of the turds that make up "society" today really make me glad I haven't had any kids who are going to have to put up with them when I go.

If I die I want to go old, happy reasonably contented and not because a gang of tanked up 15 year olds take a dislike to my face/clothes/bag/accent or whatever other excuse they choose to use to decide to kick the living daylights out of me simply because they are bored and can't find a car to steal/bus to throw bricks at/public space to act like cunts in.

I know it's probably unfair to tar them all with the same brush but if I see a group of more than one young gent in sports gear coming my way I will cross the road rather than risk some random abuse that would never happen if they locked these fuckers up as soon as they realise what a bunch of utter twats they are.

Edit: I know I said I couldn't be arsed to look for links but as an example of the kind of turds Im talking about

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/7316601.stm

Can anybody think of one good reason why these 2 cocksuckers are actually still alive?
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:30, 5 replies)

The Exorcist
Now, I like a good horror movie. I'm not into the relentless slasher flicks, but the first Hallowe'en was a classic of the genre. I do like something with a bit of story, a bit of 'could that really happen', or just out and out fun like American Werewolf.

But I just can't do the Exorcist. I've tried, and I just can't.

It stems from when we got our first video (or VCR if you prefer). My mum had got a batch of pirate copies of films from a friend and was watching them with her bloke. Stuff like Soldier Blue, The Hills Have Eyes... and the Exorcist.

This was about 1983, and I would have been 12. Consequently I wasn't allowed to watch these (unlike in these days of parental fuckwittery where it seems that letting a 12 year old watch hard core porn is acceptable, let alone hoary old horror movies from the 1970s), and was duly sent to bed.

My bedroom was above the living room, and, specifically, my bed was almost directly above the telly.

So whereas I didn't see the film, I heard nearly every bloody word, scream, expletive and musical sting in the whole damned film. And it just terrified me. For weeks I couldn't sleep, and to this day I haven't been able to bring myself to watch it.

Thanks Mum.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:25, 1 reply)

Event Horizon
This is an english film about a crew going to investigate what happened to a large spaceship sent deep into outer space - just near to pluto if i remember correctly. Its a horror movie (and not even a fantastic one), but the main part of the scaryness is left to your own imagination. Lots of creepy music and people being alone in areas of the ship, to inevitably end up meeing some terrible end or running from 'something' that you never quite see.

So here we are in the cinema and the music starts...omg even the music in the starting credits gave me palpitations....i have no idea why. At this point i should mention that i have never been scared by horror films - ive jumped sometimes and ewwwwed others, but never actually felt real fear.

As the film progresses and the scaryness gets into full swing, i start to shake at every change in the music. I eventually resorted to looking at the floor with my fingers in my ears...what a big girls blouse...but i didn't care, at the time i was genuinely distressed. I did manage to catch most of the film anyway, but one bit actually made me shout out 'like i really needed to see that!', much to the embarassment of Mr Whiskers who spent the rest of the film shushing me into the quietest whimpering i could muster, and flatly refusing to let me leave.

Needless to say as soon as it was available for purchase he bought it and proceeded to taunt me with it. To this day i cant even sit through the starting credits. Gotta admit the ending was pretty naff tho - rest of the film was wibble inducing.

I have never had such an irrational fear over watching a film, just that one. I dont really think it was the pictures, more the seriously dramatic music that builds up such a sense of forboding that i have to leave the room and drown out the sound with music if he decides to watch it.

Length? 92 minutes i couldn't possibly sit through ever again...

Cats xxx
( catswhiskers the cats mother, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:22, 4 replies)

Quite normal(ish)
I will start with cling film- i cant touch it or hear the noise it makes without making me cringe and putting my teeth on edge.

Raw meat- i cant be near it or touch it or smell it, i used to freak out when i was asked to fill those aisles when i worked for tesco

Putting my head underwater- i cant swim its undestandable

There are others that have been repressed but i dont want to end up as a dribbling mess on my bedroom floor having remembered them.
(hypr_like_a_monkey, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:21, Reply)

butterflies

I am terrified of butterflies. I mean, nobody ever believes me, but just look at them - what they are is just disgusting worms with wings!
they have antlers and are fuzzy and have big black eyes without pupils.
plus they fly in this completely unpredictable, wobbly, crazy way.

I hate them so much I once managed to beat one to death with a stick. I subsequently ended up running around the meadow, scared out of my wits, as I believed his friends were FOLLOWING ME.
mind, I was about fifteen at the time.
(dodinek is feeling threatened by polka dots on, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:20, Reply)

zombies, deep water and pens in spiral bound notebooks
Zombies, they're just ... wrong. I'm a huge horror movie fan but anything that features the undead (shudder) is off limits, Dawn of the Dead gave me screaming nightmares.
Any body of water bigger than a bath gives me the heebie jeebies. I'm not afraid of the water itself, just the evil that it conceals.
And if anyone puts a pen inside the spirally bit of a spiral bound notebook, I come over all queer. No idea why.

(pop)
(minjita, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:15, Reply)

I'm afraid of Sunbeam Bread.



Need I say more? After she's done eating that slice of bread, she's coming after your soul.

And we won't discuss Snuggle, the Fabric Softening Bear...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 10 Apr 2008, 19:07, 6 replies)

Summer Breeze by the Isley Brothers
Terrifies me. After many years of nightmares caused by listening to it during the day, I can just about manage it now. I still can't listen to it in the dark though.

Imagine as a child, those haunting chords while imaging an 1980s polygon image of two people in a car lost (damn roadmaps). Going on and on, no way to escape, just driving through green polygon landscapes forever.

Nope, even when put like that, it makes no sense.

--------------

Oh, and this one isn't really a phobia, more of an irrational feeling of "ewww". A lot of it I can't even touch.
Some of these follow a pattern:

- Kinder Egg Toys

- McDonalds Toys

- cheap tat small toys

- cracker toys and the bits of paper they come with

- pogs - I got lots of them as prizes in school for poster competitions etc and always asked for the 2nd prize instead

- tamogotichis

- those gloopy alien things people always had.

- everything that comes out of those "put coin in, get minitoy out" machines.

- Chewing gum wrappers

- any small sweet wrappers (but some arbitary rules here: black jacks are a no-no, but dairy milk eclairs are ok)

- small pieces of paper (this one has even been tested - I'll watch the person rip it up, I know their hands are clean, the floor is clean... but I still can't pick the bits up)

- small pieces of plastic or card: I missed out on the traditional geek bits due to this. Warhammer is intolerable - a housemate borrowed a tray to use for his bits and bobs. I couldn't keep it for food... I threw it out. I can *just about* play uno now as I have my own set, but normal playing cards are a no-go. I did try to hide this a few weeks back playing some game called Flux, and I think I managed this ok. So peer pressure can be good sometimes!

- Fast Food Wrappers

- Ketchup sachets, salt and pepper sachets.

- keyrings. The key to my last place came with a subway keyring. I had to get the better half to remove it for me.

- erasers/rubbers. The little bits I can't deal with, and no way could I touch the grubby ones everyone had at school.

- Any book with a large amount of visual noise on the cover eg most sci fi/fantasy books. I started reading Iain M Banks because *his* books have nice simple vectory designs on them...

Metal doesn't seem to be a problem eg drawing pins, staples. Just paper, plastic, and occasionally wood.

The worst one out of this as a kid was the kinder/mcdonalds toys.

I went to visit my auntie at about 11 or so, and seeing as I never really saw t'dad's side of the family much, was looking forward to it: she had a soda stream and everything, ysee: very important for a kid.

I stayed in my cousins room.

She collects. McDonalds toys. Kinder Egg toys. Pretty much anything small and fiddly and full of t'Arthmelow fear was on lots and lots of little shelves. All on the wall by where I was sleeping. A huge bazaar of fidly plastic hell.

I tried to sleep. I really did. Every time I closed my eyes, I could imagine one of them falling on my face and it would shoot me awake again. Any tiny snatches of sleep were met with a nightmare of being forced to suck one in my mouth, after someone's greasy fingers had been all over it.

At about 5am or so, I'd had enough. I didn't care if I was going to get into trouble, I was sleeping in the bathroom (the only room without small plastic crap). So I very very very quietly step out, tip toe to the door...
Piece of clear plastic wrap on the floor. Nylon Carpet. Whoosh. Smack. Land back on bed. Head smack on wall. Avalance of commercial plastic tat over my body.

I, quite understandly, screamed.

Very very luckily, I'd hit my head, so I could blame that.

I didn't visit again until I was 18 and had money for a hotel.

Oh dear I just saw the length of this... oh well. Position means more than length anyway
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 18:47, 3 replies)

Not scared of much at all
But bloody big fish scare me.
Bristol Zoo Aquarium... right behind the glass there next to you. Huge buggers.
Unlikely to attack, but Jesus. They're massive.
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 18:43, Reply)

I cant stand hospitals.
They just creep me out. Not in a massive way, i just feel really on edge and a bit sick/dizzy around medical things, especially old fashioned medical stuff. Even talking about medical things makes me feel a bit dodgy, and i have been known to faint/vomit, but only when i was younger.
(biggiantmat, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 18:39, Reply)

Clowns
But only ones that are covered in their own excrement and run towards you screaming whilst bringing themselves off with a dead weasel.
(the noggin causes laxative effects, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 18:38, 2 replies)

Not me
But a customer at the pub I was workng at. She was part of a big table of people who had preordered. The guy who preordered specifically asked (and I quoth) "Can I have 3 Lasagnes, one of the sladas without tomatoes because the woman is afraid of tomatoes."

We all saw it as abit of a pisstake and removed the tomatoes as instructed but now after reading some of these answers, I'm not so sure...

Length? About 5 minutes from when they came in
(The_Reaper, Thu 10 Apr 2008, 18:38, 1 reply)