my gastropolis
Stuff that I wouldn't eat when ickle -
- Jelly and icecream in the same bowl (separate yes. Together? Just . . . . no)
- Curry (like it now)
- Fish (due to being forced to eat kedgeree when about 5, trying to wash it down with a cup of tea, gipping and sicking it out of my nose at the dinner table. And getting told off for it! Yes I'm still scared.
- Cold egg sandwiches (think of birthday parties with this)
- Soft/ mouldy cheeses (how can you eat anything that smells so much like feet)
- Custard (the only way the Other will get to eat an entire dessert to themselves.
- Sausage rolls (dogs bottoms)
- Garlic (oh-ho, I’ve come so far full-circle on this one. I’ll eat it for breakfast)
- avocado

Not bothered about meat but will eat it if cooked right and put in front of me. Have never ‘got’ steak (apart from last night, but that was a meaty-breakthrough-rarity). Still not a fisheater (reverse vegetarian), more apathetic fruitarian. Its easy and you don't need to defrost it.

Oh and of course, bloody tuna from a tin. I don’t understand how a foodstuff can make me feel as offended as that can of wrong. The flashback with that one is during uni when we had the morphology visit for A+P (yeah, preserved human corpses for teaching purposes). My housemate, as soon as sitting back down on the bus (in the aisle seat I might add) opened up her packed lunch (yeah she made it herself and everything). The memory for the couch is sitting trapped in a window seat in Nottingham, the smell of formaldehyde still fresh in my nostrils, while my housemate devours sandwiches which appear to be filled with the moist yellowed flesh from the ex-people whose muscular system I’ve been staring at for the last hour.

Have recently gone off marshmallows which is a pisser as I’ve got loads in the cupboard, but recently caught a squirtybum bug from work and had just finished a hot cup of milo and melted shmallow, washed down with more unmelted shmallows. The feeling of retching harder and harder to unpeel the shmallows welded to my stomach walls, coupled with the taste of bile, has ensured I can never look at another bag of marshmallows without some PTSD flashback.

Find it hard to stomach fastfood stuff as Maccie D’s, KFC although can manage burger king, but would go to subway if I had to eat out, Maybe I’ve had too much of it, and such a crap uni diet, that these days if its proper homecooking, herbs and marinades, I can’t resist. Have definitely gone from sweet to savoury end of spectrum.

Reading these and reflecting, yah, maybe I’m still a picky eater, just developed more into preferences maybe. I’ve been in enough other countries to know that what I’m eating is not necessarily what I would choose, but if I squeeze my eyes real tight and swallow hard while thinking of fluffy bunny rabbits, it generally stays down

To the people who believe food likes/dislikes is affected by texture, I’m with you on that. It all boils down to neural development.

Length joke. First post so I’m excused, thanks
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 22:42, Reply)

"Health" drinks
Why, oh why?

I'm talking things like "Slim Fast" and the ilk. I swear it's just the powdered crap hoovered off some carpet, put in a jar and people persuaded to add water to it for "health" and "slimming" purposes.

What's wrong with a balanced diet and some excercise??? FFS.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 22:32, Reply)

"Instant" drinks
Agreed - Instant coffee is akin to heated camel piss. Nice.

Did anyone try Instant Tea? Notice how it came and went quickly - Wasn't it the vilest piss you ever tasted?

Yuck.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 22:27, Reply)

Kite Jr again.
Apparently she doesnt like Peppers in her food. At all.
Good job we replace them with "Green Tomatoes" eh ;-)
(kitescreech still here, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 22:09, Reply)

am not fussy at all
will eat pretty much anything - last year sampled the delights of pig stomach in china, mmm and turtle too (okay neither of them were "mmm") ... anyway fastforward to university, and im living in self catered halls with (i thought) similar minded people. how wrong could i be.

out of my flatmates, i cook almost every day, two of them cook about four times a week, mostly from scratch, and that just leaves one. whose diet is basically pizzas that he buys plain, chops various stuff on top (a lot of chili) and then "cooks". i think reheat is more precise. worse still he'll leave a trail of choppings and then the empty boxes lying all over the place, when if he was sensible he'd open the box flat and use it as a plate thus limiting his washing up (which he rarely does anyway)

he might be reading this. he might take a hint. here's hoping.
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 22:01, Reply)

Nescafe
Ewwww
I hate that freeze dried shit
Coffee HAS to be fresh ground nothing else will do
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 21:48, Reply)

Coffee
I can't stand Coffee.
Am I weird?
(RooRooRasputin Lover of the Russian Queen, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 21:19, Reply)

Nescafe "Original"
Am I the only person who thinks this shite tastes like Cardboard ? I like most other coffees, but Red standard Nescafe is wank.
(kitescreech still here, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 21:02, Reply)

Kite Jr.
As a child she suffered from REALLY bad eczema. She also needed winding a lot. So we gave her Infacol, a sort of thick, orange flavoured "Burping" agent. When stocks here got low my folks posted some up from south Wales.
Guess what flavouring makes her Eczema bad - yup, Orange.
How.
We.
Laughed.
(kitescreech still here, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 20:59, Reply)

I once asked one of my friends if she would like a cup of coffee
"Please" she replied, "but just one grain of coffee".

Thinking this was a little odd, I queried it - "Just one grain, are you sure?"

"YES! Why does EVERYONE ask me about this!" she snapped. So I brought her a steaming hot beverage, consisting of hot water, milk, and a single grain of Coffee.
( FreudianSlap, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 20:47, Reply)

I've been called weird
and I've been looked at strangely many a time because...
a) I don't ever eat sweet things (including chocolate, cake, biscuits and desserts). Its not that i find them repugnant or anything, I just don't fancy them, despite being a sugar fiend as a kid.
b) I've never liked tea or coffee. As far as I'm concerned coffee surely tastes the same as rotting pus from satan's arse-boils.
( Twizla ...a shrew living on the edge of a bog, extinct on, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 20:09, Reply)

Cheese
I know a girl who will eat nothing but cheese and bread, and the occasional bar of chocolate... She has been like this all her life and she is now 23... because of this she is REALLY thin and weedy. To make it worse she won't even eat different types of cheese, just really mild cheddar. Last year she spent a year in Switzerland and ate nothing but chocolate as she didn't like the cheese over there....... I hate to think what here insides would look like...
(mr.BIG I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 19:17, Reply)

Salad Bar
I knew a woman who manned a salad bar (womanned a salad bar?) She learned contempt for the piggish slobs who frequent salad bars. Give her a salad with lots of healthy toppings and she'll remove all the toppings just to eat the nutrient-poor iceberg lettuce underneath.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 19:06, Reply)

Cake Molesting Villany!
I see no mention of this vile habit, so I ask you all: who's bright idea was marizpan? Between the yummy cakey-goodness and sugar-overload icing, why would anyone put mildly gritty yellow plasticine?! Why?
(IChewCandlewax, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 19:03, Reply)

73h5p0d3
Just to confirm 73h5p0d3's tale of woe and custard, the custardy bastard does exist. I was the chum he went ballistic at, and he threw a lot of food at me. He hated me for ages, but I got his pizza and chocolate cake, so result!



Length? Not bad, but it's the girth that'll make your eyes water.
(Igor, The Evil Spacemonkey is behind you!, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 19:01, Reply)

cheese
nothing else
(fwack bang on it, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 18:59, Reply)

Me
When I was a toddler I ate nothing but tinned spaghetti bolognese every day for two years.
(davefromkent, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 18:47, Reply)

I'm not picky about much, but can't eat everything..
Apple peel and olives. Apple peel because it does really unpleasant things to my teeth, and olives because a) they're icky and b) I'm not sure they do me much good. Also mushrooms, but that's more because I just don't enjoy them rather than a severe hatred.

That's pretty much it in terms of pickiness; however my slightly knackered digestive system also cannot handle: caffeine - severe intolerance, dairy - moderately intolerant, bananas and I avoid excessive amounts of fruit, and consecutive meals of soya or fish (basically I think my body can't handle large quantities of it, but is fine if the portions are spaced out. Dairy, caffeine and bananas I avoid completely, though.)

I do feel for the people who are properly allergic to food (i.e. they go into shock), however being noticeably intolerant is in some cases worse as it can take a long time to figure out what the common factor is, stress makes it worse, and all the time you're not feeling 100%.

Still, it's not bad. Avoiding caffeine is easy (although, watch out for alcohol with caffeine in - it's dangerous stuff). Dairy free food is slightly harder but the reward is cooking from scratch, and there's loads of asian and middle eastern food out there which is suitable.

You do get some odd looks asking for a drink of hot water though, or eating cereal with water rather than milk.

Plus - couscous, pasta, quinoa, soya mince, rice, fennel, nuts, dried fruit and suchlike. yummy :)

I don't agree about rhubarb or courgettes. Both are great if cooked properly. Rhurbarb is very sharp - it is *not* sour. Remember to cut/scrape off the ends/stringy bits, cover it in caster sugar and use lemon rind in the crumble.

Courgettes are easy to mistreat - insufficient cooking and they're soft and mushy. Too much heat and they burn - it takes practice(a thick bottomed pan helps). I make a great courgette curry which a friend found excellent after initially being apprehensive.

Also - finding insects on veg. Vegetables grow in the ground FFS! Just remove them, chuck them outside, wash and cook the veg!
(syllopsium, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 18:21, Reply)

Yogurt... and sandwiches
My 71-year-old granddad has never eaten yogurt. Why? He doesn't trust it.

And if I'm making a sandwich with that processed, plastic packed sandwich meat stuff, I have to dry it on some kitchen roll before it goes on the bread, as I can't bear the thought of the added water wetting the bread.
(olaf the hairy, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 18:16, Reply)

Gay
Vegetarians- Gay!
Coeliacs- Gay
Nut allergies- funny but gay
Vegans- Gay than Gaylord McGayGay on the Gayest day of the millennium.
Fruitarians- oh f*ck off you gay
Lactose Intolerant- I hate prejudice in all its forms you big gay!
Anyone who has their steak "well-done"- well done you're a gay!
Women who don't swallow my cum- go lick some carpet you gays!
(mmm_oates, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 18:15, Reply)

My wedding
My wife had a friend who only eats chips and chocolate. At the dinner instead of the roast beef etc she had a plate of chips. She's 23, blond and well fit. Who says you are what you eat?
(mmm_oates, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 18:04, Reply)

my poor attempt to defend an indefensible position.

"Anyone who has accustomed himself to regard the life of any living creature as worthless is in danger of arriving also at the idea of worthless human lives."

Albert Schweitzer.

I mean, obviously it's not as convincing or hilarious as saying 'you're a fuckin emo', but I have to use whatever poor arguments I have.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 17:50, Reply)

I am surprised he is still alive.
My nephew, who will soon be turning ten, eats nothing but pasta and olive oil - oh and grapes but they have to have come staight from the fridge. He is very cheap to feed but god he make some noise if the grapes hit room temperature.

Size, girth etc. its all in the name.
(TheSmallestOne I am sure its what you do with it that counts., Fri 2 Mar 2007, 17:44, Reply)

My Sister
Hates eggs. So my Mum, for years, swore blind that my sister's omelettes had no egg in. 'It's Ok, Miss. Jack' she'd say, 'I've made you one without eggs.'

'Oh, cheers. This is great.'
( Mr. Jack cracked the elite b3ta inner circle on, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 17:38, Reply)

I blame the parents
As a kid I lived off tomato juice. My mum tried to hide raw eggs in it in an attempt to give it some nutritional value (eeeeugh - yes pre-salmonella). Bizarrely I used to feast on garden insects instead - ants were a favourite. Not too keen on earthworms and flys though. Odd kid.

Was fairly fussy til I went to uni and lived in catered halls - learned to eat almost everything except:
Poached eggs
Soft boiled eggs
Quiche
Any wobbliness/transparency in eggs at all
Its a texture thing.

ALSO I hate tonic water - it tastes of bitter metal, I don't get it. Unfortunately a frequent tipple for me is gin and soda (lush). Have lost count of how many times it has arrived with tonic in. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

I blame my mother for the egg phobia thing.
Oddly though I do swallow and rather like that, mmmm warm oyster!
(roadrunner, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 17:29, Reply)

frankspencer & coeliacs
Frank - try living with a coeliac some time. Not fun. They don't swell up, they just develop every digestive symptom in the book.

Oh, and they lose weight, get weak, stop sleeping, and generally waste away.

It's not a recent thing, either. It's just that they've only recently learnt how to manage it. Previously, they just steadily lost weight and got weaker until they died. Yay. Guess that taught them.

Some coeliacs can tolerate small amounts of gluten, yes. But others can tell you within seconds if they eat something contaminated with a breadcrumb.

Vegetarians, though, they really drive me up the wall. If we weren't meant to eat meat, nature wouldn't have made steak so tasty, would she? Eh? Answer that, you bunch of pale-faced anaemic 7 stone weaklings.
(patently Was somewhere else on, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 17:24, Reply)

Instant Whip
When I was a kid I used to LOVE those instant whips (powerdery sweetness, add milk, whip) and actually preferred the Sainsbury's version, especially chocolate and butterscotch. Really, REALLY loved them.

Until...

One day I set out to make some for me and my little brother. The bowl we found had a spider's web across it, but I just wiped it out.
But then I made the mistake of telling my brother "oh, the bowl had [in the past tense but this grammatical nuance escaped him] a spider's web in it".
He projectile vomited IMMEDIATELY. A few seconds later I did too. Up to that moment spider residue hadn't bothered me.

Couldn't touch the stuff after that.
(Thomas_The_Spankengine, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 17:13, Reply)

Protein Boy
Ah Protein Boy (aka Aryan Youth, being as he was Hitler's Wet Dream), strong as an ox, big as a... big fridge
Protein Boy was so called because of his dairy addiction - milk, eggs, cheese. But mostly just milk and eggs. And I mean a LOT of milk; at least 3 pints a day, swigged in great gulps
He hasn't had a hear attack yet, but he is only 23
(mufro, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 17:11, Reply)

Bush Meat
The thought of eating monkey anus or giraffe bladder in a curry sauce, is enough to make anyone a little picky.

Doner kebab is made from elephant leg *100% fact! Tastes even better with Mehmet the kebab man's man-jizz garlic sauce.





*May not be true, but i suspect there maybe some truth in that statement
(Ghost Batty Rider, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 16:55, Reply)

not quite eating but near enough
One thing that puts me off all my food is seeing other people's foodstick* marks on wine glasses.

Why can't people use napkins properly and daintily dab at their mouths before quaffing a mouthful of plonk?

My dad is the worst, its gross gross gross. Espcially when it's lasagne.

bluuuaarrrgh...

* like lipstick only made of food/spit/ oh i can't go on i'm going to be sick
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 2 Mar 2007, 16:53, Reply)