I've been putting off
breaking up with my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong - I care about him a lot and the sex is awesome. Trouble is, he swings from attentive to indifferent to callous in the space of a day and I'm fed up anticipating the moods of an emotionally unavailable man. My mates are sick of hearing the latest woes. I'm sick of telling them.

And so, after much agonising, I composed the ideal speech in my head (the words "fuck" and "off"). I mustered all my dignity and convinced myself that the next time he was mean to me I'd leave him for good.

Did I? Did I fuck. Instead I bought a new fishing rod and went fishing with him. Why do today what you can put off to some other time?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 11:56, 54 replies)

Ninjas
Is what you need.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:00, closed)

are they expensive?
Only there's an economic downturn a credit crunch, y'know.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:02, closed)

They are expensive.
In these times of economic woes, you need a budget solution.

With packages ranging from only £39.99 (+ VAT), Kaol's Kontract Killings provides affordable service, with professional levels of gore.
( Cawl, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:08, closed)

Dump him
plenty more fish in the sea.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:03, closed)

Possibly,
though I didn't catch a single cod on Saturday night so I'm not sure your assertion holds true.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:05, closed)

Cods is sea fisheses
Hope you had a big rod.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:25, closed)

Length?
About nine foot and glows red at the end.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:26, closed)

Aha
That explains the awesome sex.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:20, closed)

Yes,
and his is telescopic.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:26, closed)

I'm in a similar situation
I just need to pull my finger out my arse and dump her. Problem is the neighbours are always home and I'm scared they'll see me taking the body out.

Seriously though....why do we perpetuate this life of misery on ourselves?? I promised I wouldn't do it again and lo and behold 2 yrs later I'm stuck in a relationship that I need to end, but for some reason I can't bring myself to do it. pants!
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:05, closed)

Man up
and take it on the chins?

Seriously though, I know it can be hard and you get the thoughts of 'perhaps this is the best I'll ever have' but I think it;s best to cut the cord and hope for the best.

Sinlge life ins;t the end of the world and it lets you get back in touch with who you are and time with mates to do things you never thought you'd do (I took up Jujitsu, it's seen me through numerous girlfriends).

It'll be hard but you know you can do it and you'll feel better for it...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:13, closed)

Did you
jujitsu your girlfriends?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:15, closed)

Ask me no questions
and I'll tell you no lies...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:27, closed)

Just dump him during the next argument
Wait for him to say something mean or hurtful, then say "this isn't working, I think we should break up".
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:14, closed)

That's one option
An alternative is to hire a big van, fill it with all your belongings and leave town in the dead of night to start a new life in a different part of the country.

This may have cost implications and your family and friends will probably be put out by your disappearance, but it has the massive advantage of avoiding all confrontation.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:23, closed)

That sounds like way too much effort
breaking up during an argument is the way forward.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:25, closed)

Heh
I just had to read your reply a little slower as I thought you said that Break Dancing during an argument was the way forward......actually that dosent sound like a bad idea
(mon bison powered by magnets, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:57, closed)

Hell yeah
he's about to get served
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:17, closed)

*sympathy*
This sounds like the exact opposite of what happened to me a couple of months ago...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:22, closed)

Exact opposite?
You were single and didn't buy a fishing rod?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:24, closed)

No
I'm married, and I sold CHCB a second hand fishing rod.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:29, closed)

PS
Dibs.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:26, closed)

don't break up with him
break him!

You promised him a cunting in the fuck from me for him being a giant cock and a disgrace to men everywhere.

I am hurt and upset at you.

harrumph.
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:38, closed)

He's already damaged, believe me.
But I didn't break him therefore I don't have to fix him.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:45, closed)

true
plus if you weren't dating him some other equally fucked up emotional retard will no doubt suck you in for a tortured and disasterous affair!
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:52, closed)

You're fired
Get Alan Sugar to dump him for you.
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:58, closed)

The b3tan nation holds its breath
.....


We await further developments.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:13, closed)

Well,
like the War, I'm sure it'll be all over by Christmas.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:24, closed)

Make sure it is
so you don't have to buy him a present
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:15, closed)

But... but...
I had my eye on a cheap-ass new fishing chair from Around-a-Pound for him. And a jumbo pack of lighters.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:25, closed)

Viking funeral?
(Although I think ye olde Norse kings were pretty much dead first)
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:57, closed)

Tell him
The naiads and dryads have told you to break up with him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 15:12, closed)

Sex isn't everything.










My God, did I just say that.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:33, closed)

You only say that
because you haven't had sex with me.



Yet.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:51, closed)

^^ this
You've got my sympathy. You also have to have some courage. Get a plan together, save yourself some money somewhere he doesn't know about, see yourself somewhere else in five years time, and work towards that. (((hug)))
Yes I do know from experience, nuff said.
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:15, closed)

i think you should arrange to get married and then jilt him at the altar.
that'll learn him.
(threadkiller, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:17, closed)

Well, the thing is
I don't really want to break up with him but if I don't make some kind of stand then I'm going to turn into more of a neurotic, headwrecked bint. Also, it's nice to have someone in your life who wants to give you emotional support and a bit of affection. He does not do that.

Truth is, we have fun together. I'm just frustrated at playing the role of girlfriend but not being allowed to care or be cared for.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:22, closed)

.
"if I don't make some kind of stand then I'm going to turn into more of a neurotic, headwrecked bint."

The answer is there. Make a stand! It's not like he's the only one out there who you can have fun with.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 3:01, closed)

Ah
Its always the bright kind intelligent ones who get caught by the emotional cripples.

They hardly ever break away because they are convinced deep down that they can fix everything wrong with the emotional cripple and life will be sweet and dandy ever after.

Instead he will slowly drag you down to his level and break you before you manage to gather the sense to break away, if you do at all.

Relationships are fun!
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 14:35, closed)

.
He just sounds normal.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 15:36, closed)

Yeah,
for a 16 year old. He's 35.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 15:43, closed)

Does he read b3ta
if so, you may have already solved your problem.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 15:49, closed)

No, he doesn't.
If he did he'd see all the very lovely things I have also written about him. He's a very nice bloke. It's just that there are problems with the whole set-up.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:01, closed)

Fuck him
but then marry someone else.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:10, closed)

Bfff
get a diesel vibrator...
(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:46, closed)

and run it on vegetable oil!
Win!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 16:49, closed)

Extra win
As a bonus, you get to feel really horny every time you walk past a chippy :)
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 17:35, closed)

Now
that you've all helped me in this special way, I feel that my emotional needs are being met by an online community and therefore I can continue shagging with impunity.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 18:35, closed)

You know it makes sense

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 19:46, closed)

Oh boo-hoo. It's always one person's fault, isn't it?

( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 15:44, closed)

Sometimes, yes.
Quote 'he swings from attentive to indifferent to callous in the space of a day'.

That's a pretty major mood swing to be happening as a regular occurrence. In fact at all. Couples will have their differences, yeah, but not to that extreme. To me that indicates a major problem on behalf of the person involved.

I have a mate who was in a similar situation a while back - she saw sense after about 9 months and got out of the 'relationship' because it was all one sided on her part.

CHCB is lully. She deserves better than that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Nov 2008, 17:02, closed)

What;s
lully?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 11:43, closed)

Naturally.
He should be honoured that I have bestowed the gift of my fragrant mimsy upon him.

Besides, were I absolutely traumatised I would have found some other sucker by now.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 15:19, closed)

@CHCB
Hi,

Thought I'd pop by for some late-night drive-by web-psychiatry.

From what I remember, you seemed to have a fear of intimacy, and the BF also has one ("emotionally unavailable"). Part of what brought the two of you together was your shared fear of becoming too close. You may have initially thought that this shared fear of closeness was something that would bring the two of you closer yet allow you to retain your distance, but in practice, this hasn't worked out so well.

Perhaps you have the desire somewhere deep down to be more intimate. Maybe you don't want to admit it to yourself, but this might be subconsciously nagging you to break up with him.

Forgive me if I'm wrong. I'm just making a stab in the dark here, but I just thought I'd share my thoughts.

I hope that whatever you do next turns out well.

spakkaman out.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 3:17, closed)