The Trousers of Time
One way of looking at time, at life, is as a series of t-junctions, both in terms of the decisions you make and what the Universe throws at you. Which trouser leg did you go down, what was down the other leg?
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 17:53, Reply)

Random Acts of Kindness
When cycling along, I managed to fall off my bike due to a slippery road. No injuries to me, but bikey didn't fare so well. A lady who drove by about a minute later actually stopped her car, came over and helped out - not just holding the bike up while I worked, but unscrewing nuts and bolts, and re-oiling bits. I've never forgotten it.

Have you ever done something really decent for someone else, for no reason at all?

Or have you been on the receiving end of such an act?
(calamarain just invented dehydrated water, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 17:34, Reply)

Worst Towns
as above
(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 17:12, Reply)

Pylons
Anyone have any funny stories about Pylons, like smoking a pylon or pooing on one ?
(bluetuba has a special friend in Blue Label Smirnoff, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 16:13, Reply)

Question of the Week suggestions Part 2
Each week we used to ask a different question. The idea is to generate material that's:

* interesting to read, i.e. we won't get bored of reading the answers after about 10 of them
* not been asked on this site before
* fun to answer

What would you like to ask? (We've left this question open - so feel free to drop in ideas anytime.)
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 15:59, Reply)

Single Minded, Me?
One night a long long time ago when the local Chinky still spooned your hangover cure into a foil container rather the firmer plastic ones you get nowadays I rushed home (well staggered quickly) in anticipation of a Curried King Prawn taste sensation.

Within sight of my house the ar** end of the carrier bag gave way and the contents of said container were spread over a rather wet (it was pis**ng down) and dirty pavement.

This brought forth gales of laughter from my pals who were all still Chinky Intactus at this point.

However their laughter soon switched to cries of "no way" and such like as I got down on hands and knees and used the lid to scrape it all back up again, (and yes I did take it home and eat all of it, fags ends, pigeon poo and "other" things no doubt).

I must have the constitution of a seagull as I suffered not a jot the next day.

When has single minded-ness caused you to do something out of character. and were there any repercussions?
(Dark Matter All The Wonders In The World & We Invent Boredom, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Creative writing
About the most mundane day-to-day tasks. I just wrote about eating a cadbury's creme egg.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 15:26, Reply)

Gambling
I won a tenner on the lottery last night.

Anyone else had amazingly exciting experiences such as mine?

or what about bad experiences, such as pissing away a few grand on a single hand of blackjack.
( Muns, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:00, Reply)

What makes you 'Special'?
My sister has an irrational fear of Donald Sutherland. The sight of people drinking milk makes me want to throw up.

We all like to pretend we are normal. However we all have little 'Quirks' that make us unique. So what makes you special.
(DryGoldfish, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 13:59, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

how to choose a QOTW
- Must allow everyone the opportunity to offer multiple stories (i.e. not "My first..."
- Must appeal to men as much as women (i.e. not "My cock and what I do with it"
- Must not appeal only to one kind of poster (i.e. not "I love computers to the exclusion of all else"
- Must have the potential for humour as well as profundity (i.e. not "My favourite drunken vomiting session"
- Must not repeat other QOTWs in slightly different wording
- might like to take into account the hundreds of suggestions from people who love QOTW and use it all day every day
(frankspencer, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 13:14, 3 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

The music that changed your life.
Did you bond with the love of your life over the most weird and wonderful band you love? A band that made you want to start a band and now you're rich and famous? Gone deaf after hearing Hard Fi? etc.
(and now for someone completely different, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 12:57, Reply)

Have you muddled your words up lately?
Last time i was in birmingham i decided to be romantic when my better half asked me "do you want to go to the cinema, or watch a DVD" What i meant to say way.
"I could be lying under the duvet with you, or in the cinema and i'd still be happy you're next to me."

Instead i said "I could be lying under the cinema with you, or....hang on, what the fuck did i just say?"

spoiled the mood a bit and she still holds it against me to this day, but we laugh at it.
( Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Wed 26 Mar 2008, 19:20, Reply)

I used my rude bits for the good of humanity.
You know those things you've got tucked away in your underpants or bra? Have they ever done the world any good? Have you put out a fire by weeing on it? Have your fun-bags softened someone's landing?
_{And please be more original than "I satisfied someone's raging lust".}
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 19:14, Reply)

what's the stupidest/grossest thing you've ever eaten?
When I was a teenager I read Gerald Durrell's autobiography about growing up on Corfu. He mentioned how he used to munch on live shrimps, and I thought I'd give it a go... I caught a prawn and gave it my best shot. It was like eating a wriggling salty rawl plug filled with cat food.

Oh, and of course as I didn't live in 1930's Corfu, but rather 1990's Devon I got rather nasty food poisoning. My Mum felt guilty for ages, and I never dared tell her what really caused it!!
(teasus likes tea, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 14:09, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Trivial things that really get on your tits
We all love a rant now and again. Especially at those unimportant things which really annoy us.

One of mine is raffles. I hate raffles. Why spend money on tickets with the chance of winning some useless crap which you'll never use/eat/drink?

So go on, let us know what silly little things really get your goat.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 12:15, Reply)

and then I said "I'll never drink again"
(Bindun?)
Everyone who's had a drink is bound to have suffered from it too. Tell us about the time you woke up on a traffic island, vomiting into a plastic bag with only a bottle of tequila to protect your modesty.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 12:07, 7 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Personal Best
Small things for which you set yourself targets, and try to beat previous records.

For instance recently, on the day of my french oral, severe nerves in combination with a few bowls of healthy bran in the morning paved the way for me to smash my old record by blocking 3 toilets at college in a single day.

What have you quietly felt you surpassed yourself in achieving?
(ShitBitch, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 11:24, Reply)

Jim'll Fix It
Did Jim fix it for you? Were you a scout on a rollercoaster, covered in milkshake?

If not, did you write to him? What did you write? Are you all bitter for being ignored?

What would you ask Jim to fix for you now?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 10:52, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Bollocks to all these miserable questions.
What was the best day of your life?
( Gerbilinafishtank Gerbil in a fish tank...TURTLE POWER!, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 8:25, Reply)

Nightmares/weird dreams
Ok there's enogh of us out there let's have it!
(swampi thought of this, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 20:59, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Snow!
We've been promised snow in the UK for a while but have been rewarded by only a precipitating slush.

Post your snow stories. Snow is fun.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 0:28, Reply)

Hallucinations
After a particularly long and tiring shift at work, I was walking along the Camber in Portsmouth and took a look into the water. This was just after the massively high water, so I was curious to see animals. Anyway, when I looked, the whole thing was fucking EMPTY! Freaked out by this, I took a photo, gawped for a bit, and walked home.

When I went to show my better half, the photo - to my horror - showed a lovely, high body of water.

What hallucinations have you had?
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 24 Mar 2008, 22:24, Reply)

unnervingly worrying and pointless trivia
www.b3ta.com/board/8213952
not necessarily sci-fi based (please!) but do you know something thoroughly pointless, that no one else knows, that is of practically no use to anyone that you';d like to share
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 24 Mar 2008, 21:24, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

They think we won't notice...
People that work in the media are occasionally a little too taken up with their own cleverness and assume that Joe Public won't notice... Freddy Starr ate my hamster, Elvis is in a WW2 bomber on the moon, and the way that Stiletto on Danger Mouse went from being Italian to a Cockney...

What have you noticed in the media that someone behind the scenes is obviously hoping you won't twig?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 24 Mar 2008, 19:01, Reply)

petty annoyances that make you seethe with anger.
we all know that wars and bitter, long vendettas can be caused by religion, politics, bigotry and people who don't use upper case letters. forget these vile affronts to all and revel in the generally irrelevant irritants which, if not unique to you, would at least spark your more mellow friends to tell you to relax and have them wonder if you're not just a sad, caustic grump.

i have far too many of these, sadly, as i'm generally unpleasant, but prominent among them is the 'high five'. it can be extrapolated to a general disdain for stupid behaviour, but beyond that i still have a visceral reaction to witnessing people perform this idiotic ritual. i cannot and will not participate in it, which used to bewilder team-mates in sports and games, and whatever elation or happiness i was previously displaying immediately transmutes into rage and antipathy if someone attempts to involve me in this moronic human contact.
( postbear has metal knees, Mon 24 Mar 2008, 7:15, Reply)

Wills & last requests
Written into my will, and known only to a few close friends is the following.

The birdie dance song is to be played after the eulogy. Up opens the coffin and out jumps a stripper, to strip to the birdie dance.

I've actually got to get around to changing it, I wrote it before I was married, and better change it to not freak out my wife.

But now I think about it, bugger it, may as well freak her out one last time :)

Anyone else seen some strange wills, or has anything bizarre in theirs?
(Kaer, Mon 24 Mar 2008, 0:12, Reply)

Religious people being stupid
This week Catholic MPs want to ban research that might save lives because apparantly by creating hybrid embryos, scientists are behaving exactly like Dr Frankenstein. And my Christian friend once told to me I was definitely going to hell whilst he was eating a hamburger on a friday.

What stupid things have your religious friends or family members done or said?
(Cuthbert Annihilator, Sun 23 Mar 2008, 3:07, Reply)

Holiday Tummy?
Post your hilarious tales of poo-related misfortune, making them even funnier with details of foreign toilets and gastro-intestinal disorders.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Sat 22 Mar 2008, 17:45, Reply)

Where Were You Then?
Inspired by this thread

Where were you during recent tragedies? Were you having a wank when you found out about Diana? Were you pissed off that 9/11 made CITV cancelled? Tell us where you were during History's most spectacular moments.
(__, Sat 22 Mar 2008, 13:07, Reply)