(mr sausage. where the bloody hell are ya?, Thu 18 Jan 2007, 15:48, Reply)

(mr sausage. where the bloody hell are ya?, Thu 18 Jan 2007, 15:48, Reply)

Dictionary
Define a word (or words) of your choosing

e.g Chav
1. Scum
2. Something you'd wipe off your shoe if you could
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Thu 18 Jan 2007, 15:47, Reply)

Crazy mixed up kids
How many music/fashion trends have you been involved with in your youth.I've dabbled in a few of them - mod, punk, rock - but I was never a New Romantic -I passed that one straight by thank God.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Jan 2007, 15:25, Reply)

Here's a suggestion.
But not for one QOTW, for all of them.
Run them Mon-Thu and Fri-Sun.
Without fail, the questions peter out after 3 days and the sarky comments start to appear. It's really fucking boring.
(Toucan - http://www.titmonday.com, Thu 18 Jan 2007, 15:24, Reply)

You weren't meant to hear that...
You know, we've all done it. When you're saying something quite loudly and someone is standing behind you who really shouldn't be hearing it. Like your boss. Or your girlfriend.

Then there's those other times when you send a text to the person it's *about*, rather than the person it's for.

So: what's the worst situation you've got yourself in from someone hearing/reading something they weren't supposed to?

I'm new here, so apologies if this has been done before(couldn't see anything that looked like it), is badly worded or just plain crap.
(horrid, Wed 17 Jan 2007, 22:22, Reply)

top fives
Anything. No particular topic. Just anything.

here's my top five of everything, ever.

1. oh god, i don't know
2. i still don't know, stop asking me!
3. no idea
4. not sure
5. erm, i'll get back to you
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 17 Jan 2007, 13:46, Reply)

Coming Out Horrors
*You have come out yourself as gay/bi/lesbian in a funny way or someting bad has happened.
*you know of a friend who came out

My personal story was (at 15) my brother (9) found a rampant rabbit dildo, in a tin that I kept locked under my bed, looking for batteries.
I was keeping it for a friend who couldn't take it home to face her dad with it, so I looked after it.
Mum found it with associated porn etc.
My mum still takes the piss out of me now with it.
( moohalaa, Tue 16 Jan 2007, 17:57, Reply)

blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
( harpski, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 1:26, Reply)

most annoying family member
my brother would be mine...i have a huge list of personality and social fucking behavioural problems to list
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 15 Jan 2007, 1:17, Reply)

Johnny Public
What stupidity have the general public come up with? What annoys you when working in the public service sector etc.

Badly worded question I know but you get what I mean
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Sun 14 Jan 2007, 23:22, Reply)

Say you had the chance to talk to the 10 years old yourself from years ago
What would the adult you tell the child version of yourself?
(MarkP0rter is an annoying faggot, Thu 11 Jan 2007, 18:38, Reply)

stupidly posh
"i say," brayed the woman in the cafe next to me in hammersmith. "do you do cream teas?"

"no," replied the (obligatory for west london polish) waitress. "only milk."

examples of the truly ridiculously pretentious posh b*stards you've seen and wanted to twat?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 11 Jan 2007, 12:47, Reply)

De ja vu
or however you spell it
(abignumber, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 22:54, Reply)

What do you always fuck up despite knowing better?
I asked this over on /talk and it got lots of good answers.
( frunt It's been a while..., Sun 7 Jan 2007, 22:25, Reply)

Bad days out
The worst days out ever- to the zoo, park, ect.
(abignumber, Sun 7 Jan 2007, 20:42, Reply)

Work experience
where you went, what you did and stuff
(abignumber, Sun 7 Jan 2007, 15:31, Reply)

Cruel Parents
My ex-girlfriend was a thumb sucker as a kid. Her parents kept telling her that it would turn her thumb blue. This had no effect on her until the morning she woke up with a blue thumb. Years later her parents confessed to sneaking into her room with a bottle of blue food dye and smearing liberal amounts on her thumb. Apparently she never sucked her thumb again from the fright!
Once I heard this story I was never entirely comfortable getting a blowjob from her. What if her parents hadn't touched her thumb with dye...what if her sucking things did turn them blue???? I don't want a blue knob, I'm happy with the greenish colour I've got!
Either way, her nasty parents ruined thumb sucking for her and ruined blowjobs for me. Cruel bstards!
( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 13:49, Reply)

Childhood Obsessions
When I were a wee nipper I was an absolutely huge fan of Noddy. So much a fan that I decided to take all my older sisters noddy books and using a scissors, cut out every single picture of Noddy. I then placed them under my pillow sure in the knowledge that he would come to life as I slept and I would have him as a friend forever.
He didn't.
Bastard.
I reckon it was BigEars that stopped him. Jealous big eared tw*t.
( sneep used to date Freddie Starr's hamster, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 13:35, Reply)

Breaking your new years resloutions
I had a fag ten mins into 2007, whats your story?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 9:57, Reply)

Housemates
There must be a million funny stories out there.
(EveningVicar, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 11:34, Reply)

Why was your Christmas the worst/best
Could we have both to cheer up those that had a crap one?
(birdwoman pissed herself at least once on, Tue 2 Jan 2007, 9:20, Reply)

Worst drunken antics
Couple of days ago at a party i got incredible drunk mixing my drinks all night, plus the joys of the house owner having a trampoline is just too much.

So cue at 2.30 in the morning sitting on a chair in their house i just bend straight over and throw up, after some shouting at by one of the family members relatives she shouts at us to get out the house or they would call the police (I think although my memory is fuzzy)

So we are standing outside when one of my mates starts to exchange words with some chav (8 of them actually i think) and their i was in my drunken mellow state just standing in between the chavs and my mate just saying stuff like nah im cool with you i ain't got a problem slurring out lots of crap to be honest, thus stopping anything from happening but inadvertently made my mate punch the wall breaking a £200 Christmas present from his Gf 4 days after Christmas...Oops...then for some reason my emotions got the better of me and i sat on the floor and broke down, why i don't know.Then at about 3 o'clock (1hour 30 minutes after everyone else left) our taxi comes well the taxi ride i have no idea but cue me trying to walk 100 meters home drunk on my own and then opening the front door..( i done it ^_^ )

i take off my vomit stained jeans and jumper then trundle up the stairs hear my sister walk pat my room shouting to her please never let me drink again. Then i trundle to the loo and throw up again (mmm regurgitated Tikka masala(no i didn't eat the sick))now there i am shit scared of going to bed fearing I'll throw up in the middle of the night and choke on my own sick.

well i made it through the night and awoke to the biggest headache and feeling sick every 2 seconds.So i heard drinking water is good for a hangover, drunk about 2 pints of water only for it to be thrown up again 30 minutes later, then ate a scone, nope thrown up again. Oh the joys of trying to work that day!

And that was the first time i had ever been drunk and i swear never again (yeah my sister told me she gave up drinking three times =D )

So we've all done stupid things drunk, Whats the worst you've got up to?
(Alexander The Great, Sun 31 Dec 2006, 18:13, Reply)

Secrets
Everyone needs a confidant, so friends/family/workmates and neighbours will inevitably tell you big bad hairy secrets.

What's the biggest secret you know?

Personally, I only know crap secrets, like people at work who have slept with the boss (there are lots of them, she's a bit of a slut).
(Abe Froman To smell me you wouldn't think i was middle class, Sun 31 Dec 2006, 12:51, Reply)

The Aristocrats
What is your version of the Aristocrats joke?

For the unfamiliar.. From Wiki
( The Lurker Plenty One, Sun 31 Dec 2006, 0:08, Reply)

What's your favourite colour?
Anything, just to get rid of this $%&£ing 'Secret Santa'.
(><(((">, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 8:54, Reply)

Things you weren't meant to see
Not only was i not meant to be in that place at that particular time but it still haunts me to this day. What or where have you been that you wish you hadn't??
(charlesberg, Thu 28 Dec 2006, 8:19, Reply)