some are, some aren't
my niece, charlie.
lovely girl when she wants to be, but horrendously spoiled. she has the biggest bedroom in the house, because her toys wouldn't fit in a smaller room. never goes shopping with her mum without coming home with toys and sweets. just got back from her second trip to disneyland(florida, not paris). firmly believes the world revolves around her and treats her cousin like dirt because his parents have very little money.

my cousin, jenny.*
a nasty piece of work from day one. everyone in the world is beneath her. she refuses to eat anything her mother brings home unless it's from sainsbury's or marks and spencer's. monumentally self-absorbed. thinks she's a fashion model. she is the posh spice of the family.

2 cousins, sarah and adam
despite having a mother that would literally go without food to give them everything they want, despite the fact that they were held up from birth as examples of perfection that we should worship, despite being thoroughly ruined, they have grown into 2 of the nicest, politest and most thoughtful people i have ever known. soft-spoken, considerate, well-mannered and generous, they're a credit to their(frankly insane) mother, who brought them up single-handedly.
just goes to show, not all children from broken/single parent homes grow up to be drug-addled, granny-stabbing asbo cases.

*jenny got punched in the face 4 times last week for badmouthing another cousin. thoroughly deserved it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:30, 12 replies)

Students.
Students can often be whingy. Mature students - and mature students who're already professionals - can be worse.

A fair few of our students are doctors doing an MA. As programme director, I'm often first point of call for their queries.

I'd like to make it clear that a stern email telling me that you spent a long time on the assignment is not sufficient for me to decide that it was a work of genius after all. Nor do I care that you have so many letters after your name that the Latin alphabet has been exhausted and we're now using Coptic.

Your essay still fails.

You know who you are.

Thank you.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:25, 5 replies)

karma is a bitch
There was this one spoilt little sod that I knew of. He was in my sons class and would always have the latest toys, computers, clothes, etc. He was also a bit of a bully and my son would regularly come home in tears telling me what this little shit had done to upset him. I tried to reason with the parents but they were just as bad as the little shit and mocked me and my family for being members of the lower rung of society.

A few days after this incident I was on my way home from a long day at work in the factory (It always is when you're a manual worker like me) and was shoulderbarged to one side by a family leaving the local theatre early, by a stroke of luck it was spoilt bastard and his parents. I realised that as I was filthy and wearing my extremely battered work clothing they didn't recognise me and thought I could play a little bit of revenge on them and hopefully stop the little prick from being a bully to my kid.

I followed the family down a nearby side street and threatened the dad with a gun (I'm an American Dammit its my right to carry one), unfortunatley the Dad decides to dive at me, have a go hero style and the gun went off by accident. The dad dropped to the floor and his wife wouldn't stop screaming so in the heat of the moment I shot her too. I then left the kid there and legged it back home and told no one.

Turns out that this accident really straightened out the spoilt brat and the bullying stopped. The problem was that he took it a bit too seriously and now spends his nights running around the city dressed like a giant bat.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:23, 9 replies)

My neghbours had a young daughter...
aside from being the snobbiest little shit you've ever met, she was also a completely spoiled bitch.

One time we were over there for a party (I was about 17, she was about 7), she broke one of her own toys and blamed her little friend, who started crying. Her parents told the other child off while the little bitch laughed. On this same day she started hitting me with a piece of metal piping on the leg while I talked to some of her friend's parents, and when I grabbed it off her, she said "It's rude to snatch! I'm telling!"

They bought her a kitten when she was 8, on which she put her mother's expensive lipstick and to whom she was generally a bit of a cunt. She'd pull its tail and pick it up by the legs, etc. She'd scream loudly at it, just to scare it. Then her parents complained when the cat wanted to seek refuge in our house.

She grew up (slightly) and as an early teenager wanted to learn guitar. Her parents bought her an expensive Fender, which she'd play EXTREMELY loudly and exceedingly badly in a shed they had down the bottom of the garden at 12-4am. Her parents didn't seem to have a problem with this. She kept this up for about 2 months and then, obviously, got bored of it because she was still shit and never picked it up again. Now my parents inform me that she's taken up the drums.

She had a load of 'friends' over for her 13th birthday, two of whom scaled our fence while drunk (aged 13 for heaven's sake) at 5am and had sex in the bushes at the back of our garden. Luckily they set off a floodlight at the end of our garden and my Dad (who was starting work early) caught them and gave them a severe bollocking before waking her parents and demanding an apology from their daughter, who'd apparently told them to do it in our garden instead of her own. Her parents made her give a rude, half-arsed "sorry" whilst she was smirking, and then wondered why my Dad thought this wasn't good enough.

But generally this girl is going to get pregnant early, end up with a cunt of a boyfriend who won't look after her cuntish sprog, and spend the rest of her days either on, or watching, Jeremy Kyle. I hate her so much.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:20, 3 replies)

My brother
Well, my youngest brother is spoilt rotten.

He had an Xbox 360 and a HDTV, games, wireless adapter for the 360 and a hard-drive for it bought for him. Because he wanted it.

He thinks nothing of asking my parents to buy him this or that game for him, and my dad usually does so.

He throws temper tantrums whenever I ask if I can play it for a few hours with my mates.

Did I mention he's 16, never had a job in his life, and regularly throws temper tantrums?

Spoilt little bastard.

Still, there is a happy point to this tale.

One night, when me and my dad were talking about the fact that my parents marriage was breaking up because of my mum going mental (No, not in the senile way but in the way of arguing every day with my dad about anything and saying stuff like 'Oh, I'm still young and attractive, I can get another man') and how my dad can't take it any more (Can't say I blame him, really), my brother walks in and complains that we're talking too loud and he can't hear what his friends are saying on the 360 because of us.

I looked at my dad, and then promptly laid into my brother, pinning him up against the wall, and yelling in his face solidly about him being a spoilt selfish brat who never thinks of anyone apart from himself, who doesn't have the common decency to attempt to be nice, etc etc.

The look on his face is priceless.

Eventually I let him go and after he apologised profusely for his behaviour that night, he ran for it.

So yeah, whilst I didn't strangle the spoilt shit, I did get to yell at him and abuse him.

Happy days.

Length? A good fifteen minutes ;)
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:17, 6 replies)

Mr Friend?
I knew a chap called Ben Jewell who lived down the end of our road who had EVERYTHING and really rubbed our noses in it (we weren't the richest group pf kids!)

Turns out he killed himself in a spanky new car that his folks had bought him whilst driving like a cunt.

Ho hum.
(TAZ220 Not giving a toss since, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:16, 2 replies)

Frankly, you lot are spoiled.
And it's my fault.

I spend so much of my time and energy providing you with pictures of kittens.



I even bought a C drive.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:16, 10 replies)

And I have to work with her
I work with quite possibly the most spoilt brat in all of eternity. To protect the subject in question (and myself for that matter) I will refer to the individual simply as B.

Now B is in her 40's. Or so people say. She looks like a 50-year old teabag. From what I can recall, her current employment is her only genuine employment (as in one she is paid for) and she has had to work in the same place as me for about a year now. So you can imagine how my day is. If not, just think about how middle aged people would react if they had to be told what to do by someone half their age.

B only works because she has to pay for the luxury motor Mr B bought for her (so she says) and to "get away from the kids." Unfortunately we all know its cos she is so far up shit creek no paddle could save her. She spends £5000 a year on a single holiday. She buys her kids ridiculous gifts for their birthdays (£1500 trips to london to shop etc) and she shops at M&S almost religiously.

The only problem now is, she's indebted so much to the plastic man that everytime she makes a payment on one of her many credit cards she has to cross her fingers. Even £2 on a sandwich brings on this butt-clenching, intensity akin to watching Jonny Wilkinson taking a World Cup winning penalty. But still the cash flowing continues. I think she booked another holiday for christmas, but only for 2 weeks cos 3 is just too much.

So I guess she's already got her comeuppance. Or maybe it'll happen when Mr Repo turns up to take away all her possessions. Either way, she's steaming towards a breakdown in a car with no brakes, and I wont shed a tear when it happens. Mostly cos she's a complete cow to me at work. Though that could be slightly selfish.

Ehh, who cares.

/troll
(guyie failed to be witty on, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:16, 4 replies)

Damien is nothing compared to Matthew...
The fact is that as a fairly middle-class kinda kid with no siblings, i have often been labelled as spoilt, but the truth is that my home life was rather unpleasant at times (my earliest memories of my father are of visiting him in hospital after an industrial accident in which he ruptured his spleen, shattered his pelvis, his elbow and wrist, broke both legs and crushed two vertebrae). The subsequent prescribing of Valium to numb him to the pain and two-year period of addiction and cold turkey meant that my formative years were full of smashed furniture and swearing, but he got his shit together and our family get along pretty well now. There are times when my parents and I have a row, but that's just normal because we're all pretty headstrong and we are at least grown up about it.

No, the spoilt kid I refer to is my friends' son, who I shall call Matthew because that's the little bastard's name.

Now, his dad is my best and oldest friend, who is as close to me as a brother and who my parents put up rent-free for six months, as well as sorting out his £20k+ debts. Needless to say, we've been through a lot together. He is, however, and I say this with all kindness, a bit of a tit. He's one of these people who reads crap on the interweb and takes it all as gospel truth.

His missus, however, is a bit of a damp squib. I've known her ten years or more and still would struggle to make conversation. She's passive-aggressive personified and is now making it her business to alienate all of my mate's friends so that she can control their social life and fill it full of her yummy mummy friends. When they bought their new house, it was riddled with damp, had no damp course and the interior walls were in danger of collapse. I and some other friends basically rebuilt it for them free of charge and then one of our mates who is a builder-type put their floor and kitchen down. The wife then fucked it up by dumping loads of furniture on the floor before it settled, meaning the kitchen had to be ripped out, the floor re-laid and the kitchen re-fitted, before she then refused to pay for ANYTHING.

I tell you this, because their kid is the spawn of Satan. She's insisted on teaching him baby-sign, so he waves his hands around when he wants stuff (like in Meet The Parents), which was cool when he was 6 months old, but he's now approaching 2 years and still won't speak because he's learned that his mother (who is never more than two feet away from him) a) understands his stupid gestures and, b) laughs when he screams at the top of his lungs and kicks the crap out of things until he gets what he wants.

Now, my wife and I just moved into a 16th Century former coach-house/inn and thought we'd throw a housewarming bash. We invited friends, including this couple, for a barbecue, some drinks and to stay over. I spent in excess of £300 on food alone, as we were expecting 15 or so people.

When they arrived, the little shit a) threw things across the lounge until he was sat in front of the TV with his Night Garden DVD, b) swung on the 100 year old french-windows like a see-saw whilst his mother laughed at him, c) screamed when he shut his fingers in said french windows (at which point I laughed my ass off), ruined the day by pissing off all the other kids who were playing football in the garden, as he insisted on sitting in the middle of the lawn with his Iggle-fucking-Piggle toy and his mother stopped all fun in case her litle darling got caught by a football. Cue six sulking kids and a lot of muttering parents. He then poked the cat in the eye (oh, how I laughed when it went for him), caught my pregnant wife in the stomach with a wooden block when he had his pre-bed tantrum and screamed the place down constantly.

I don't know who to beat first - my mate for letting his missus act like she owned the sodding place, her for letting the little fucktard run riot, or the little dipshit. I was tempted to drop kick his ass into the brambles just for the hell of it - the mother has now decreed we aren't suitable friends, based primarily on the fact she's jealous of our house and new car (a fact imparted to me by a mutual friend when I asked why we hadn't heard from my mate in a couple of months).

My kid will have all the advantages I can give it, but it will behave properly or I'll be the first to kick its ass....I hate those Yummy Mummy types with a passion. Grrr!
(Chad, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:15, 3 replies)

Rats!
first?
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:10, Reply)

Metal mental...
When I was an undergrad, I briefly had J as a housemate. She'd been in a fairly long-term relationship with someone whom I shall call "L", since that was his initial. He was a nice guy, inexplicably devoted to J, and could have done a lot better for himself. He would often come across to Hull from Leeds to see her.

The reason why J dumped L in the end was not that she wanted to see other men - her ongoing relationship with him hadn't stopped there being a steady stream of other guys between her fairly chunky thighs. It was that he bought her a gold bracelet.

The inconsiderate bastard ought to have known that she only wore silver. He clearly had it coming.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:08, 12 replies)

marks and spencers
one of my dad's good friends and clients is an obscenely rich guy from manchester. they are a lovely family, but they do live on a different planet to most people. for example, he bought his son a porsche for his 17th birthday. his son wrapped it around a tree. he simply shrugged and bought him another one.

so a few years ago, they invited my parents to their hospitality tent at wimbledon. my mother was sitting next to his charming but clueless wife, whom she said looked like raggedy ann in a pair of what were undoubtedly wildly expensive dungarees. made of sacking. for some reason, the wife was telling my mother about making a costume for her son's school play.

"i needed some rags for the costume, so i popped into marks and spencers to buy some things to cut up," she said [well, who doesn't buy new things to cut up], and then leaned in confidentially. "and do you know, they have things in there that one could actually wear ??"

"gosh. fancy that," my mum replied, frantically tucking m&s tags back inside her collar...

the really ironic thing is that her husband made his money from a very successful insolvency practitioners. do as i say, not as i do, clearly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:04, 1 reply)

My cousin Kevin.
He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket. (my mum says they cost a packet).

He's his family's private joy - His mothers little golden boy.

He's got a degree in economics, maths, physics and bionics.

He thinks that I'm a cabbage, because I hate university challenge.



*BASTARD*
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:02, 7 replies)

Gone off
I met her on holiday in Spain and initially she was great. Lovely blond hair, barrel of laughs, and very, very acquiescent.

I wanted to keep her good for as long as possible, but now unfortunately she's in an advanced state of decomposition and I can't use her any more.

Totally spoiled.
( rofl harris, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:01, 3 replies)

She's fifty - FIFTY for gods' sakes!
As a student, I used to rent a room off a semi-mate (we'd occassionally drink together and both worked for a mutual friend running his market stall) who was an only child, and at that time in her mid-40s.

While renting the room off her, I once came back with my weekly, student-budget-tastic shop.

She said "I was thinking about getting a Chinese tonight, what do you think?"

"Sounds fine."

"You interested?"

"Nah mate - I'm stoney, and this (holding up two bags) represents the last of my petty cash."

"Oh, right. WELL THANKS FOR THINKING OF ME!"

Jeyasus. What do I pay my rent for, muddyfunster?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 15:00, Reply)

My Wifes cousin
got a playboy bedroom aged 7 and a padded bra aged 8. She is now 11 and walks around sticking her "tits" out everywhere she goes insisting that every single person in the room/bus/street/fucking planet listen to her whenever she talks about anything at all no matter how irrelevant and inane. Its all her mothers fault who is a whore. She is spoiled beyond the realms of common decency. I can accept kids that get bought everything they want, when they want it. I can accept the idiot parents that end up going bankrupt just to buy Christmas presents instead of paying the mortgage and bills (my mother in law did it) but I cannot abide the parents that dress up their pre-teen daughters as whores and show them off around town as if they are trying to drum up business and make a few quid off the paedophiles on the side.
( Peej, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:56, 3 replies)

The family bone**
I was the youngest of 4 in the greater family. My sister and my cousin Patty were oldest, then patty's sister then me.

I was always left at home when our gran went on family holidays because there was there wasn't enough space or something like that.
I was an outcast for absolutely no reason.

Patty's sister Natalie was the firm favourite with everyone. It made no difference that we were in the same class at school and my marks were always better, I was still excluded ad-nauseum.

when we were 16 she got pregnant by the worst kind of tool about and had what was to become the naughtiest little shit Ive ever met. She dropped out of school and has just recently, 10 years on had another child with someone else.

I on the other hand have got 2 diplomas, a great job where i can sit on B3ta all day, 2 cars, a fantastic 2 year old and am getting married to the most beautiful woman I have ever met.

Thanks for not spoiling me Grandma!!! but tell Natalie to feck off I'm not supporting her children...

**Not what you thought eh? sick bugger
(Bluffboy South Africa! World Champions!!!, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:55, Reply)

I don't really like talking about this but...
When I was younger, I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah"

Tell you what, kids these days don't have a bloody clue :D
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:52, 8 replies)

Can I get this in first?
I had a dreadful childhood, we were poor, never had anything, I was grateful for every single thing we possessed. Sure we were poor, but we had love. I had some bad times. But we had love and friendship. We all died of starvation, but at least we had love and friendship and family. My parents sold their kidneys to buy me the bus fare for my Uni interview. Fortunately we had love and friendship and families and hope.

It's made me a better person. Kids today, eh, don't know they're born. All they need is love and friendship and families and hope and self-belief. Etc, etc.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:47, 24 replies)

Simon
When I was a nipper my mother was standing outside our house talking to one of the neighbours. Another neighbour approached and said to her friend "Ooh, Mrs Jones, your Simon really is spoilt."
"No he isn't, he's a nice boy."
"Well just come and see what that lorry's done to him."

First with that one? Gets coat and ticket to Hull.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:46, 1 reply)

Spoiled
Maybe my workenemy, who cannot hold a conversation unless it specifically relates to her, or she can twist the current topic back to an instance that involved her and her story.

She would implode if she tried to have an abstract conversation, like, what happens when you die, or do you think your dreams are symbolic interpretations of actual events.

She is getting married in 2010, and hasn't stopped telling us ALL about it, in the most skull-fuckingly minutest details

I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR STATIONARY
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:44, 10 replies)

Woo! First On-Topic Post!
A mate of mine has a little brother. Sadly his father passed away, and he (the little brother) got something along the lines of £2,500. £1,000 was for him to spend. He now has roughly about £200 left of it, and nothing but broken toys and shitty PS2 games he doesn't like to show for it. When I was his age (I think he's around the 4yr old mark) I was lucky to have £1 to spend on anything, let alone a grand.

If that's not spoilt, I don't know what is.

As for come-uppance, as he's spoilt to buggery he won't be able to function on his own when he's older and he currently acts like he's 2 years younger than he is. Good luck with getting on in school, chum!

EDIT: Damn, not the first on-topic post after all...

EDIT 2: When going shop with same friend and brother, I went in for some ciggie papers. Being the generous bloke I bought my mate a can and the little bugger a small chocolate bar (Freddo, anyone?). I went to give it him saying "This is yours but I'm giving it to your brother, you can have it after your tea". His brother says "That's nice, what do you say?". Both of us expecting please to be the answer, he proudly and loudly says "Nothing!". "Fine, you're not having it says I". Majority of the walk back he's demanding HIS chocolate bar, even though we all stated it wasn't his as "kids with no manners don't deserve chocolate" so to silence him I gave it to my other friend who was instructed to eat it on the spot.


The little sprog was almost in tears and sat down in in the street refusing to move.

Kids; I won't put up with thier shit.
(Stephen5555 is posting on, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:44, 9 replies)

while buying a cup of overpriced Fair Trade coffee the other day
I overheard a yummy mummy with an overengineered pushchair remark in hushed and horrified tones to her friend: "they spit on the floor in state schools you know!".

One can only hope her designer organic youngling is sufficiently sheltered from a harsh world where the dark, seedy underbelly of society don't sort their recycling properly and other such heinous crimes.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:43, 12 replies)

right!
i think it only fair because i am sooo great and well loved and sexy and everything i should be allowed to post a shameless placeholder post

*flounces*
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:43, 1 reply)

My cousin
I am quite a placid and mild mannered chap and have always been so.

My younger cousin was a bit of a spoilt brat and delighted in stealing my toys and/or breaking them when we were younger.

I'm reliably informed that one such time I wouldn't take any more and my parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle found me sat astride said cousin bashing his head into the floorboards.

Aghast, my grandmother said to mine Uncle "Aren't you going to stop him?"

Uncle: "naa, he deserves it"

Guess he wasn't that spoilt after all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:42, Reply)

My daughter's little sister
She's quite honestly a bastard witch of the highest order. She's not of my genes, thankfully, because if she was related to me I don't think I'd want to live any more. She lives with their mother, but I babysit them occasionally to help out.

The kid simply refuses to do anything she's asked or told, still shits and pisses herself in bed, at home and in school despite being seven years old, fights constantly with her siblings and her mum to get her own way, and is incredibly difficult company.

Despite this though, she's actually quite sweet, and when she's being good she's attentive, funny, and bright-eyed.

She's the absolute clone of her mother. Apart from the shitting thing.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:35, 2 replies)

So there's this bloke I know
met him in a pub on a busy night, and he tells me all about his life. So there I sit, listening to this litany of luxury, made even more boring by the fact that he has the charisma of a beetle.

Apparently

- He went to a private school so posh and costly that they had cigarring instead of fagging.

- His fine wine palate means that he can tell what the Frenchman who made his wine had for breakfast.

- He could have easily made a ton of money doing slightly dodgy things in the Eastend, but he wasn't that sort of fella.

- He's got so many shares that he could have stopped the credit crunch, but he was too busy with his mates.

- He knows every bouncer in London and can get gratis access to all the best clubs.

At this point, my vision is going a bit wonky from boredom, and I need to get away from him.

Thing is, he starts to jabber on at such a high rate, a couple of drops of blood start coming out of his nose, but he still doesn't notice, so consumed is he with his monologue, and getting you to hear it. Thankfully, at that point I made my exit, and no-one was left to tolerate his ramblings.

He really was charmless.

Oh yeah, and his mate lives in a very big house in the country.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:35, 4 replies)

Bah humbug
You didn't let me be first so I'm going to squeeem and squeeem until I'm sick :-(

But I will tell you about my younger sister. Aged 30 now! I tend to end up in the middle of her tantrums, she fell out with our Mum last month. Her version goes something like this ...

YS: "Huh!"
Me: "Problem?" (What now???)
YS: "Mum is a pain in the arse? She won't do anything for me"
Me: "Do tell ..."
YS: "She wouldn't send me the application for for the OU course on Creative Writing, so I couldn't start this week like I wanted to - and now I can never do it and I've always wanted to!!!!!!!!!"
Me: "Sigh" wonders off wondering when my sister decided that creative writing was going to be this years thrill - she'd always been more scientific and sporty - lots of trekking round the world, working off shore as a surveyor, doing _proper_** rowing, triathlon, and was last heard of plotting doing one of those walk to the North Pole races.

Next day and I'm speaking to my Mum on the phone ...

Mum: "Your sister is in a snit with me again"
me: "Really? What could it possibly be?"
Mum: "Well she applied to OU for an application pack last week so she could do a CW course"
me: "Riiiiiiiight"
Mum: "So the pack arrived Saturday, and your sister asked me to send it on to her"
me: "So? I see no problem"
Mum: "Well yes ... she's in Angola on a ship. So she wanted me to scan the 12 page application form and email it to her"
em: "and ..."
Mum: "OU wanted the original by post on Monday ... and the course starts next week, she's not back from Angola until the middle of next month, and then she's off on holiday for 4 weeks"
me: "So ummm what did she say to that"
Mum: "Ranted on about how I never do anything for her ... wouldn't listen to the impossibility of the timing"
me: "Never mind she can do it next year"
Mum: "No need they run it twice a year"
me: "Ohhhhkay"

Last night ...

Me: "Hi sis"
YS: "Ohhhh I'm so fed up with Mum!"
Me: "Is that the front door? - I'll call you later"

** realy _proper_ - rivers are for wimps
Length gag - About 3,000miles.
(Biff..., Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:35, Reply)

FIRST!
I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!

Bugger. Damn you, Enzyme!

MUUUUM!!! BUY ME A FIRST POST!
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:34, 4 replies)

First!
Kaol smells of not-first people!

*shuffles off to come up with proper story*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 9 Oct 2008, 14:34, 4 replies)