a chilly one
this christmas eve i got rather lashed with a lovely young lady up in a french ski resort, ended back up at her chalet and things were going well. i awoke in her bed at around four am and decided that instead of doing the early morning walk of shame i would slip out in the night. as i stepped onto the street the cold night air hit me like a brick wall. it took my breath and my balance, so i sat down to steady myself and prepare mentaly for the icy walk home. around two hours later i got woke up by my own shaking, lying face down on the floor. in -6 temperature. i was well and truly hypothermic. couldnt breath, barely move, blue lips and very fuzzy brain. i managed to crawl back into the chalet, and back into her bed where i curled up next to her, shivering. i then was rudely woken up again. by one of the girls who lived down the hall.. asking what the fuck i was doin in her bed..
(euro-pimp, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 10:48, Reply)

Behind the wheel
Woke up ridiculously early in a SA safari reserve to see all the cute little lanimals. Unlike myself they are most active in the morning. Inconsiderately they'd all buggered off, so I spent an hour driving around looking at scrub land until the next thing I knew, the car was tipping and the wheel was being wrestled from me by my partner. Thankfully the only time I've fallen asleep at the wheel I was travelling a 5 mph miles in the middle of no where, miles away from any icecream vans or lollypop ladies.
(analogkid, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 10:37, Reply)

Wakefield....
As most people have... I woke up in a bed, not entirely sure who I was next to. In a Surprisingly lucid state considering the apparent memory-loss, I potterd outside the house witha borrowed mac on to see where I was. According to the billboard outside the 7-11, I was in Wakefield. Well.. that in itself was a mystery... I'd started the night as usual in huddersfield.... where I was studying at the time.

Going back into the house, I re-entereed the bedroom I'd been in, and had another look at the lass in the bed.. naked, rather cute. Not bad.. but who the hell was she?

I scouted the bookshelves... Lecture-notes with the name Sarah on them.... good start... and a book was there with her name in it again... I reckoned that i could easily remeber the name... Ogwen had shacked up with a beast called Sarah a few weeks before... that name was burnt in my mind.

Happy that I'd know who she was when we woke, I went back to bed, nuzzled up to ther and drifted off into sleep once more.

The smell of coffee woke me... and She was sat next to me wearing a silk dressing-gown, and holding a mug for me... Outstanding.

"Morning Sarah..."

*giggle* "No.. I'm Becky... But this is Sarah's room. So... What's *your* name then?"

It was a wonderful afternoon...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 4 Jan 2007, 10:36, Reply)

A scout hut
In some god forsaken town - a group of us went to see a gig there in the early nineties.

We promptly got incredibly drunk and sauntered off in search of a pub, much drinking and groping of local lovelies later we head for the train station for the 20 mile ride home.

We had missed the train by ten minutes and with the princely sum of £2.30 between us couldn't afford a cab.

Back to the Scout Hut - one window left a jar was all we needed to gain entrance.

Found foam matress' and sleeping bags, so a comfortable kip was had - due to us being pissed we couldn't work the heating so all woke up rather early because of the cold.

Send two mates out for rations - stolen milk and orange juice off doorsteps. The kitchen had tea and sugar so I made a brew.

We left them two pints of milk and a thank you note.

The following week the local rag reported 'outrage as vandals wreck scout hut' it went on to describe the hundreds of pounds worth of damage we'd allegedly committed.

Personally I think Akela was a theiving bastard who tried it on for the insurance money and hate-mail was promptly sent.
(Avalanche - Purveyor of sexual deviancy since 1976, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 10:34, Reply)

Conveyor Servicing
I used to work for a bloke who built, serviced and installed potato sorting gear...

Twas only he and I ... and occasionally a toothess old git called Dennis.

Dennis taught me a sweet way of catching some shut-eye. One of the most common tasks was changing bearings in conveyor belt-rollers... this usually involved lyingon the belt, rummaging around under the "web", and popping rollers out one by one. (much like the spring-loaded roll that your bog-roll sits on)

Oneday Den and I were at a farm fitting a new motor to one part of thier conveyor belts... the full-height 500mm conveyor that spanned the roof of a barn. I finished the job.. and as the others were on thier lunch break.. i lay back and kipped. It was a balmy summer's day, and i was 15 meters above the barn floor on what ammounted to a rubber hammock. Sorted.

End of lunch break coimes, and I was no-where to be seen: Den decides to see if i've finished the job... *flicks switch*

I woke just as i was beign dumped down a 15 meter high helter-skelter designed for Spuds: rubber-lined, not slippy, and decidedly uncomfortable.

bastard.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 4 Jan 2007, 10:21, Reply)

Dead dog, red ants.
In the gravel on the central reservation of the motorway between Reus and Tarragona in Spain.

Woke up next to a dead dog I hadn't spotted as I crashed out, with red biting ants trooping in and out of my backpack pillow, and down my neck.

All very character building.
(p0zitr0n - phunarmically charged particle, detected at, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 10:06, Reply)

DFDS
Travelling to see my family in Denmark a few years ago, I clambered aboard the ferry at Harwich, and prepared for a nice, relaxing 24 hours on the boat. I love the trip, and my sea-legs had never failed me yet.

Until this time… The North Sea was particularly rough, and threw about the ferry as if it were a twig in a lock. As the boat tossed and turned, I could feel myself getting greener. So, I made my way to the bathroom.

Where I wasn’t sick, but curled up in to a ball in the shower, and slept there. Only to be awoken several hours later by a worried-looking German guy (but not so worried that he’d dropped his washbag). The sea had calmed down by this point, so I went up on to the deck, and slept on a bench there for the rest of the night.

Not funny… But then not involving alcohol either!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 9:50, Reply)

I have fallen asleap in meany places,
After half a bottle of wiskey i curled up in the boot of my car for the night.

In a geography GCSE exam.

standing up whilst playing cricket.

I fell asleap whilst cycling along a main road nearly killing myself by going into the back of a meriva.

On a toilet in prauge in 2005, I was drunk and passed out on the toilet in someone elses hotel room. I have no memory of this, however at 5am someone noticed the snoring and kindly woke me up and filmed me trying to find my trousers in a semi-comatose state.

In a bed with five other people

In a school asembaly, woke to find everyone staring at me and a teacher prodding me. I thought id put this sort of thing behind me. however years later at university. I wasent feeling to well and sucmmbed to falling asleap face down over a bench. I was in the front row at the time. the lecturer noticed. He stopped the lecture to try and wake me up. He couldent. I awoke half an hour later because the people around me were balencing cans on my head. I upset the cans and looked around everyone, including the lecturer was laughing. I felt like an absolute tit, as I wasnt feeling to well in the first place I went home and slept on the couch.

That was a shit birthday.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 9:47, Reply)

Nice one squirrel
Stretched out in the lovely seating area of the local Conservative club during the biddies bingo game. Nobody wanted to wake me and I don't know how I made it there, I'm not a member. Still, I had a nice couple hours kip.
(quedge, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 9:42, Reply)

A couch
in a Chinese karaoke bar
(Mad McMad, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 9:40, Reply)

Super glue
As opposed to most of the stories here, this place was (kind of)
thru my own choice.

I was staying at my Dad's place one xmas eve, because I wanted
to see my little sisters open thier presents (bless 'em).
Anyway, went out on the raging piss as is the norm for xmas eve, and came back in about 2 am, thinking, "hmmm, maybe theres a Jackie Chan film on the telly" (WTF?), I opened the living room door and strolled into the darkened room, only to dicover that Santa had
been and I tripped over and smashed one of my sister's
presents, a nice little, old-fashioned flip-top school desk...

Damage wasn't too bad, just a clean break in one of the legs, but
this is where it started going really wrong. I grabbed the super glue
to repair the damage and ended up gluing my thumb to the leg of the
desk. So I had to spend xmas eve night, stretched out with my
arm above me, glued to a desk, and my foot wedged against the living
room door so that my little sisters did not burst in the next day
and wonder why Santa had glued their big brother to a desk....

Needless to say that the old man was not impressed the next day,
neither was he very delicate as he took the stanley knife to my
thumb to free me.

(Luckily tho, my sister never notices the join,or the little flap of thumb skin still attached)
(smirker neverletmetellyabouttheraggamuffinbiznessandting!, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 9:02, Reply)

a few places i can think of
latest was at a party about 2 in the morning, the party was still going but i consumed the majority of the beer, some fat goth ladyfolk had already passed out on the floor after vomiting in the garden, so i decided she would provide sufficient warmth and slept nexto her.

another was in a pub in blackburn, i had been up all night the previous night, and had been drinking from about 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and when we went to the pub the second time i sat down, got a pint, drank that while listening to my friend telling a drunk off for singing as it wasnt karaoke night and then blacked out, i regained vision just after throwing up.

i fell asleep 98% of the time i stepped into a languages classroom, thus getting an F on my french gcse when i was still in school.

on a bus atleast once a week, ussually missing my stop by about 3 or 4 stops on my way to college.

and lastly, not a wierd place of sleeping but a wierd sleeping experience was my ex girlfriend trying to wake me up by tossing me off while other people sat on the sofa in the same room laughing at me. no alchohol was consumed in this event.

/edit, yays for first every post thing
(shot2bits, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 7:02, Reply)

More comfy than you'd think.
I work in a big pet & supply store, and was working after hours on that week's shipment, when I came down with the flu very suddenly. I had fever, nausea, and terrible weakness. So around 2a.m. I asked my supervisor if I could go home (5 hours early), and he agreed. Being winter, I started warming up my car and went back inside to punch-out and wait. Two hours later, I woke up, laying on my back on the top of twelve large bags of Beneful-brand dog food. It was actually pretty comfortable, and my fever was gone when I woke up. Didn't stop me from going home though.
(kureiton84, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 4:53, Reply)

Sleeping while having sex
I see how many stories are about people falling asleep while docked with another person. Usually it's a disaster, but one time I woke up after sleeping for an hour inside my future wife. Who knows which one of us fell asleep first? Panicked, I woke her up and asked "Was it okay?" She made a big smile and said "It was great" and immediately fell asleep. I was damn lucky.

I also used to date a girl with a tendency for sleep sex where she is up for it while sleeping. Her subconscious would take over and she'd speak to me in a dream state. She didn't recognise any name, including mine which I had to teach her again. When I started foreplay she said "How did you know that would feel good?" So basically she unlearned sex in her sleeping state. Then when we had sex, she screamed my name over and over (something she would never do while awake). It was weird but she enjoyed it greatly.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 2:41, Reply)

Random Sleeping
On an escalator going upwards from the underground.. One second, everything was cool, had my shit together holding the rail. The next, I was clutching thin air falling backwards. Scared the shit out of me, probably the commuters behind me as well to be fair though.
(Mister-Chris, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 1:20, Reply)

Carnage
Once upon a time in the dark distant days of my youth I decided to go for a ride on my bike but being 16 and stupid i decided to drink the best part of half a bottle of whiskey first. So off i went in the height of summer wearing a heavy leather jacket on a rather banged up old mountain bike. With no particular direction in mind I found myself cycling along the side of the thames in cherstey about 10 miles from home, well owing to the weather i decided that it would be prudent to remove my coat, I was feeling a little light headed, and the best place to store it whilst i cycled was accross the handle bars. Not the best move! because no more than 2 minutes later the sleeve of my coat fell down and became tangled in the front wheel causing it top stop turning which in turn threw me over the handle bars and in to the middle of the tow path! With the alcohol it didnt hurt that much but I really couldnt muster the effort to untangle myself from the wreckage and resume my journey, I thought i might just stay there a while, actually i passed out! When I woke I found that 4 hours had passed and although I was in quite a busy spot everyone had just ignored me and left me lying there, old people rambled past and parents had been feeding the ducks with their kids just feet from my head!
(Magic Pants, Thu 4 Jan 2007, 1:06, Reply)

Mud Bed Bath..
This appears to have turned into a thread about drinking then sleeping so I thought I'd join in! Some few years ago, I was happily drinking Farmhouse Scrumpy Snakebites with some like-minded friends in the Riflemans pub in Glastonbury. It was a cool damp evening and I was enjoying the burning warmth of a few pickled eggs with my pints.. Mmm. It all goes blurry after 3 or 4 pints of that shit, but vision partially returned when I woke up lying face down in a pool of mud down the road, calling for my mum in the dark. Vision still not 2020 until I found my glasses beneath me buried in the mud. That was the last time I drank that particular cocktail. It makes pickled eggs come out of your nose?
I think I cried. Tears of pain and fear.

Now I just stick to sniffin the Thixofix. Safer by far..

First post, and I just don't care. La la.
( moosecow and that was... Karate., Thu 4 Jan 2007, 0:08, Reply)

probably not the first tale like this
went out, got drunk, 6 or 7 of us went back to a mates flat, continued drinking and started getting stoned.

I went for a shit, finished up, came back out, wondered where everyone was hiding.

Yup, I fell asleep on the crapper for four hours with my trousers round my ankles.
(daveshane An ah dohn make no sense, but baby ah'm the shit, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 23:19, Reply)

Launceston Rugby Club
(or some other rugby club in Cornwall)

I was rather wrecked & hitchiking from Scotland on new years eve 1996 (don't ask)...

& I ended up crashing on the floor of the corridoor just inside the door

Not very interesting, but, I think, unique
( Duncan Disorderly, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 23:13, Reply)

Garbage Truck
apnews.myway.com/article/20070103/D8MDH5300.html
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 23:06, Reply)

Forget the best place you've slept.
I want to hear the "best places I've gone to the bathroom" stories!
(Monkstar1, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 21:37, Reply)

Must have seemed like a good idea at the time
When i was 17 i woke up in one of those council waste paper recycling skips .I must have climbed in after a heavy nights cider drinking in the park.
An elderly couple were doing their bit throwing their old copies of the mail in and were not to happy to find me there.
I told them to fuck off .

Oh the lost Innocence of youth
(Mr Man A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the cat, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 20:41, Reply)

Garden
Drunk etc, got 'dropped off' by my mates, which involved them getting me out of the car and putting me on front lawn.

I stayed there all night.

Was awoken by a nice man walking his dog, the dog sniffing awoke me to a nasty slug making it's way across my face.
It was raining and I was covered in mud plus various slug trails on face hands and clothes, this was 0500 in the morning.
Quite proud really.
Why the hell do people walk dogs so early, I might have gotten away with not having the neighbourhood watch report it to my parents (I was much much younger than I am now!)
(Opanoid Look sweats dripping off them, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 20:11, Reply)

Telford
Twice now. It's amazing what I'll do for bumsex.
(pronts, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 20:10, Reply)

Main Engine Foundation of a Trident Class Ballistic Missile Submarine...
outboard the turbine exhaust trunk, under a bale of kim-wipes. Kind of hot and noisy, but a great place to snooze during Sunday field day activities.
(Right-Sequitur follows along rightly, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 20:09, Reply)

not me some fucked fella at butllins
fell asleep at the bar.

me and all my mates took it in turns having pictures taken with him.

then some cockney fella offered us all £20 to give him a massive wedgie.

one of his mates took him up on the offer.

my mate filmed it. vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1516081117

then we took more pictures with him after he just carried on sleeping on the floor.

it was a fun night.

thinking back we should have all taken it in turns to rape him.
(fwack bang on it, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 19:46, Reply)

Like most everyone else
I have the ability to sleep, almost anywhere.

When I'm sitting through anybody waffling on about some theory, my brain decides it's time to switch off, as it's not being used.

I've managed to fall asleep during

lectures,
whilst driving,
during training for various things,
during foreplay,
whilst inputting various required tests, into the computer of a pathology lab.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 19:27, Reply)

Oh say can you see...


Standing up, directly under a massive 4th of July Fireworks display at my local beach.

"I was very drunk at the time"

My friends took turns prodding me, as I would wobble back to upright, highly amusing.
( gp_guineapig, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 19:14, Reply)

I slept in a bin once.
Whilst that may conjure up images of a bedraggled little homeless forced out of the family home with nothing but a well-practiced wank hand to make ends meet, I’m glad to say that the reality is far more innocent.

When I was about 12 the council provided the street with brand new wheelie bins. As you can imagine this opened up a world of possibilities for me and my friends and we took it in turns to clamber inside and push each other around. I'll never forget the look of abject terror on my friend's mum's face as her darling first born sprang out of the innocuous looking but strategically placed bin shouting 'FREEZE, SLAG!'.

Anyway, after two days of other such high-larious pranks my friends decided to turn Judas and pull a prank on one of their own - namely me. I was inside the bin, probably playing hide and seek or waiting for the bag of nerves neighbour's cat to wander past (I never did understand why it was so nervous), when my friends quietly placed a box on top of the lid and started filling it with steel weights. Hearing the giggling I decided to pop out of the bin and see what was so funny. Unfortunately there was about 80 KG of iron holding down the lid, which I promptly banged my head on expecting it to flip open. After an extended period of shouting and swearing and trying to tip the bin over (cunningly wedged against the wall) it slowly dawned on me that they'd left. So I did what any right-minded Brit in a crisis would do and had a kip.

They eventually let me out, although not before waking me up by taking it in turns to karate kick the bin. Gits.
(The Man with the Head Lurking with dinosaurs, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 18:18, Reply)

Face down
in the middle of the green of a dodgy local park normally teeming with smackheads, a half-empty bottle of Bells in hand, and a trail of vomit leading back to a nearby kebab shop.

Were it not for the fact I was a smartly-dressed 15 year-old, even tramps might've paused to urinate on me, and call me a disgrace to the public face of the town.

god protects the very young and the very stupid.
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Wed 3 Jan 2007, 17:57, Reply)