paid to chat with a stunning celebrity
I lived in Yugoslavia a few years ago, and was hired by a famous (over there anyway) and stunningly attractive musician to help her with her spoken English. She didn't want any lessons as such, just conversation practice. So basically she paid me very handsomely to go around to her place a few nights a week and just chat with her. I would even have quite happily paid her for the privilege.
Best and easiest job I ever had.
( Biffins Bridge, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 15:15, Reply)

Oh, another one.
After 3 months of working with this really arsehole of a boss that yelled at me when he got things wrong, getting shit pay and a day when he decided to cut lunch hours in half without telling me so I get yelled at for being a minute overtime, I left and never went back.

My mum thought it would be worth writing a complaint (and telling the sod id quit) which she delivered next day.

Got all my pay which he was going to delay for 4 weeks before, about £180 back cause he'd cut loads off, a bit of holiday pay (i think about £20) and £200 in damages...oh and a letter of apolegy from him which I used to wipe my arse with.

thats more than I made i all the time i worked there.

The company dissapered a year later
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 15:07, Reply)

I'm glad I'm not a poor student anymore.
You know the lids of shampoo bottles that are really hard to get off because they don't screw on? Well, a few years ago I spent six weeks at L'oreal whacking those lids on with a little hammer, once the bottles had been filled with shampoo.

Also, I worked in a Sony factory for 2 weeks sticking bits on to the back of TVs, I quit when the fumes from the hot glue started giving me nosebleeds.
(Monkey Faced Muppet, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:47, Reply)

yucky pooh!
i witnessed a friend licking the contents of a used nappy for payment of the princely sum of five earth pounds!!!
it was very disgusting
(loulou, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:39, Reply)

Paid to take coke
Over here in the Netherlands, I took part in a medical study in a town called Groningen. We had to stay at the clininc for 3 nights and take smallish amounts of very pure cocaine during the day. I was paid about 300 quid and my train travel for doing so. I was reluctant to leave.
(sativan, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:38, Reply)

I once did headache research...
I got paid fifty squids to have wires stuck to my head, then I was put in an MRI scanner, and then they electrocuted my head, and I told them how much it hurt whilst they looked at my brain.

Quite a laugh really, and to be honest it didn't hurt a bit.
( Liquid Crystal, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:37, Reply)

Oi, farside.
You do officially have the greatest job.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:33, Reply)

I was a fudge packer
Three pounds an hour, time and a half overtime. They weren't paying me to be a bummer - it was real life fudge.
(>NARF! Quality WTF chimp action, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:16, Reply)

Cinema Scumbag
I used to work in a near-dead cinema just before it closed down, and although there was a minor degree of work involved, we basically took it in shifts to watch films, eat hot-dogs and popcorn, and chuck Beenie-babies at the back of customers' heads.
Using a stolen traffic cone, the assistant manager used to host belching contests in the lobby, while I would sneak up unnoticed behind the back row of the theatre and fart profusely, before creeping a safe distance away to watch the customers all blame each other.

The pay was shit, but we kept ourselves amused alright.
(Barry Subchimp, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:12, Reply)

water balloons
My first job was at a local theme park, and I had to work at a game that involved people launching water balloons at eachother. Every day I marveled in the fact that I was being payed $6/hour to fill water balloons.

Being 16 was great.
(pk, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:04, Reply)

I get paid
for just being me (:
( <>Dog www.stevelaker.blog, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 14:01, Reply)

Morrisons supermarket in Falkirk, Scotland:
"Come on in on Thursday and Sunday nights for a spot of shopping and allow yourself to be aurally presented with DJ NeillyB, playing the finest tracks at the audio bar."

You see, after a certain amount of time all of the managers go home, leaving me and the rest of my colleagues to do whatever the fuck we want. It's these times when I browse the in-store CD charts, pick the most obscure CD's and play them at unacceptably high volumes right in the middle of the store through the seperate stereo system.

Favourite so far has to be "The Best Classical Album...Ever". The look on peoples' faces as the stirring tones of Orff strikes up suddenly, or indeed the Hallelujah Choir spreading its classical joy from Fresh Food to Frozen Food. I love it.
(neillyb, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 13:53, Reply)

elvis
Yesterday I got paid to find a book on microbiology for a man of 5'1" who was wearing a white, rhinestone-studded jumpsuit, diamante belt, black platform boots, a gimungous medallion, and a frightening black quiff wig, a la the guy from the Foster's advert.
(Intolerance is the way forward, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 13:50, Reply)

I was paid twenty quid
to be in an Elton John video.

I was fifteen and in the scouts, and he sent a flunky up to our summer camp because he wanted young boys in scout uniform in his latest promo.

For some reason, we didn't make the final cut. I may cross-post this onto Popbitch...
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 13:48, Reply)

I once
had a two week market research job going by train from Portsmouth to Cardiff and back again counting how many people got on the train at each station, how many got off at each station and how many there were on the train in between stations.

200 quid a week back when 200 quid was a lot of money.

But then again I used to be a Butlins Redcoat there I was paid to keep the campers happy.
After 7.00pm at night when the bar was open the rules were that you could drink alcohol but you couldn't go to the bar and buy it yourself so I got paid to drink for free with various holidaying families.

Just as well because the job only paid 70 quid a week.
( Darryn.R, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 13:40, Reply)

Not happened yet but will be.
My mum rang me last night for a job propersition. She needs people (prefubly members of staff or teachers) to just sit in the gcse exam halls with a couple of members of staff. Thats it, no duties but I guess we might have to look out for talking or cheating. Ive helped out in a couple of art classes free so ive been signed up, £8 an hour for this years exams.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 13:30, Reply)

after i left uni
I worked at Boots thru an agency in the factory making nurofen. After 4 months you got made a Boots temp, but 1 day before this was due to happen I broke my hand punching a wall and had to have a month off. I got full sick pay from my agency (extremely rare) and Boots made me a temp anyway and paid me in full.
I've never been so rich before or since and had the best December ever.
(cerey, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 13:27, Reply)

Money For Nothing
I was in the bank on a busy weekday afternoon. I had to pay off my credit card (£200) and transfer £100 from my current account to another account.

Paid the Card OK but the lady behind the counter said they had run out of transfer slips. No Problem, just fill out a withdrawal slip and then a deposit slip. This I duly did and the money was transferred. When I got home I looked at the receipts the withdrawal was for £100 but the deposit was for £200.

The lady behind the counter had not noticed, and a quick check at the cash machine indeed revealed I had gained £100 from thin air. And they never asked for it back. Woo!
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 13:02, Reply)

Not strange, but bloody good work!
Mum was working on a photography course, the person who took the course also did page 3 photoshoots.

Anyway, they have to get one other male to "supervise" (ie. sit there and to stop the cameraman from having a wank) the photoshoot. He must be two things:-

1. Over 16.
2. Never done it before.

I fitted both of those categories, £60 for two hours work (did have to get up at 6am though).

Did I stop the cameraman from playing with himself? Well, I dunno....I wasn't watching him.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 13:00, Reply)

£50
to grow a mullet. This was a while ago when my barnet became rather unruly. Of course I said bollocks. However, I had my head shaved last New Years Eve, and decided not to have it cut until this New Year (no real reason), and hence I now have a mullet. Had to remind my mate, but he has agreed to pay. Result!
And I like the mullet too!! In fact since forming it, I have been beating the ladies off with a stick (6 in the last 3 months). If you are not getting any, a mullet will remedy that for you!
( D3xt3r Don't take any guff from these fucking swine...., Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:58, Reply)

Market research is brilliant
Been paid to Drink Tea, and Budweiser. I mean being paid to drink tea and beer is just super, my two favourtie things!. Although They expected some kind of informed opinion on it after i'd had 8 bottles, "Yesh, that one ish besht..."
(Mr_Bobbins, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:49, Reply)

the good times
i work in the film industry and i was sent to mexico while we filmed troy with brad pitt-face to agree a consumable contract (i could do this on the phone). anyway when i got there a storm had blown all the equipment and sets into the sea so i got an even better deal plus damages etc, then spent 2 months sunbathing while lying to my boss it was taking a long time :D i made around £10k personally for that trip plus the suntan, the 5* hotel, the drinks and fucking good laugh with the sparks.

i also went to ireland to work on a film and the truck was delayed for 2 weeks with the equipment so we spent our days getting hammered in dublin while getting paid and using our daily allowances to finance cock fighting!

when at school i got paid £500 to play monopoly for a week for market research. i didnt play once and gave a speech on why i liked the free parkng rule.

i have also been paid to test drive a go-kart track in spain, to blow up stuff for a dutch tv show and brush my teeth every hour for a week to see if my gums wore away quicker!

all in all i have had some pretty tasty jobs but then again i have had some bad experience but those stories are for another week...
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:47, Reply)

I was the payer.
I promised to pay a 'friend' 50p to eat a sheet of A4 paper.

It was down the hatch within 30 seconds.

I never paid him that 50p. It was my sheet of paper and I figured that providing him with a hearty starchy meal was payment enough.
( Spunkmeyer, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:45, Reply)

Paid for Nothing
Several years ago i received a payslip throught the post from a catering company, which said that i had been paid £46.36 for catering at an international rugby match at twickenham. I checked my bank account and yes, sure enough, the money was in my account...
But the thing was i didnt work for the company, and had never even been to twickenham!
No one even bothered to ask for the money back.
I eventually realised that the company had my bank details and were able to erroneously pay me, because they were the same company who ran the albert hall bar where i'd gone for an interview, but been sacked before i even started there after a disagreement with the boss.

Not bad payment for just going to a job interview and handing over my bank details!
And bearing in mind i was a penniless student at the time, £46 (peanuts today) made a big difference.
(littlerichardsmustache, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:45, Reply)

Eat Mcdonalds
Bit boring but...I once got paid £85 to eat 3 Mcdonalds meals and have a bit of blood taken by Medeval (sic?) in Manchester. Oh the days of student poverty. (They also asked me to take part in a 5 day Morphine trial but I politley declined.)
(joe_merchandise, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:43, Reply)

durin my trip to japan...
i was visiting a zoo, and a family of local japanese people came up and paid me to hand-feed a koala, and snapping pictures at me.

after that, i was blind for 10 minutes
(Ireul, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:25, Reply)

i get paid by a big credit card company
to 'work from home'

unfortuantly i'm dislexic, so i tend to 'wank from home instead', 8 hours of being paid to watch porn, cant argue with that..
(5lab, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:25, Reply)

round cornering
After university I got a job in a factory making cardboard picture mounts - the sort you get school and graduation photos in. Obviously, you cut rectangular blocks of card with a guillotine, but some photographers like round corners - so there's a machine with a quarter-circle die that goes up and down, that cuts the corners off. 12 hour night shifts, rounding corners off 10s of 1000s of mounts, a dozen at a time. Up and down, up and down. It still haunts me.

Not sure it's worse than a PhD, though.
( randompunter, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:21, Reply)

When I was in Uni (Insert long ago year here)
I participated in a paid study on the short-term effects of certain tobacco products. I was picked for the cigarettes and recieved $5,000. for the two month study. I got the cigarettes for free and smoked about a pack a day.
Pretty nice getting the money when I needed it, the only problem was I couldn't quit.
That was 15 years ago and I still smoke a pack a day.
(What made them want non-smokers for a smoking study)
Funny thing was I went back to the study director and asked for help to quit and he said,"That was what part of the 5k was for, didn't you read the contract?"
Bastards
(drunkpup, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:13, Reply)

i once got paid £100
for appearing on hollyoaks as an extra. My mate does it sometimes and they needed a 'goth' (i wear black a lot, thats about it) so i was rung up out of the blue. I'd been out drinking the night before so i looked rough, they were impressed by my 'look'.

All i had to do was walk out of the bar, difficult eh.. 20 odd minutes doing filming, spent the rest of the time just sleeping in the green room, eating and reading Viz. Easiest £100 i've ever made.
(stomm, Thu 30 Sep 2004, 12:02, Reply)