one of my oldest and dearest frends
is called richard burns. only just realised the comic potential...

i saw an athlete on the olympics y'day called fani (prnounced how you think it is)
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:39, Reply)

With butter?
A colleague of my brother's was called Toast. It's so unusual, I can't even think of a witty addition to that statement.
(Fuzzy, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:39, Reply)

I knew....
...a Czech guy at uni called Lubar Kundt....
(sionnach, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:37, Reply)

oh, ok then....
A friend of mine dated a gal named Wendy Payne. A classmate was named Dorinda Bell (Dor, for short). And a good customer (and a nice guy, rest his soul) was Dick Besore.
( katzenfinch, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:31, Reply)

I've just remembered
A silly Brazilian bint I work with has called her son...

Elrond.

For fuck sake, he's really gonna love his mum for naming him after a fictional elf.
Elrond Nepomuceno. Poor kid.

And then there are the seasonal Mary Christmas and Carol Service....
(Lambkin, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:30, Reply)

I know a Rachel
Stickels.

Letters arrive for R. Stickels.

/sniggers
(elegans, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:29, Reply)

Another Post...
...now that I have given it some thought, there are many daft names out there. Not least my own. Surname is "Strange" - and I plan to do my PhD. And marry Mr Love accordingly.

Have also encountered a Wayne King; a Juan Mistaq and a Stuart Panne (stew pan).

My favourite is when people with the letters "cock" in their name insist on it being pronounced "co" - like the Aussie rugby player "Cockburn". Snigger.
( Strangey is present at, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:24, Reply)

Went to uni with a guy
called Richard Face. Since I moved to Germany I've met loads of peeps with stupid names:
Herr Oy, Frau Dafft, Frau Puff (Puff means brothel in Kraut) and to translate some into English, Dr Process, Mr Dogbirth, Mrs Different, Mr East and Mr West (who share an office and their boss is Mr North), and my boss is called Mrs Happy.

There are also two undertakers round here, one called Mr Sunshine, the other Mr Journey-Home.

I'm still waiting to meet someone called Wank, Fuck or Ficker (German for fucker). If I ever meet a lady called Fuck, I'll ask her to marry me and take her name.

Edit: oh yeah, my dad's middle name is "Hesslewood".
(nugchuts, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:03, Reply)

Rubbish names
My name is Keith. and my surname is Firmin. Individually, they are horrible but together, they are worse. The last 2 letters of KeiTH and the first letter of Firmin, make for an awkward and horrible sounding name.
(keify34, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 12:01, Reply)

My Doctor is called Doctor Knock.
I laugh everytime I approach his practise door.
( Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:58, Reply)

A few top picks from computer support
Dirk Schwamkrugg - the name that sounds like a Porn sound effect Imagine ron jeremy unzipping, acompany with saying "Dirk Schwamkrugg!"

Dr Valerie Alabaster - Genuine research chemist, or one of Batman's lost girlfriend?

Honour Box - some people should check what their new name's going to be before marriage.

The Mycock brothers: Paul Mycock and Phil Mycock - twins, for gods sake think of the children.

Rosie Gay - My late grandmother, no tittering at the back there

John Adcock - did he really?

Ray Beaglehole - Pfffft.

Dick Payne - my old history teacher. By name and nature.
( Argh-wrath ... is a very lame Glorantha joke, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:53, Reply)

...
There used to be a guy in my class called Jimmy Spinner too.

Not a rude name but he was the thickest kid in school.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:50, Reply)

May the force be with you
I just had to e-mail a bloke in Germany called Garth Vater.
(Fully Goyle what?, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:41, Reply)

Will the silly memories stop now please
One of my lectureres at uni was called Roger Ingham. Nice man. Lectured on sexual risk taking. You couldn't make it up. Well, you could actually. But it wouldn't be true.

There is, out there, a Roger Smallboyes.

At work we had a client called Mr P Nutter. Which amused slightly.

I also had some ex girlfriends with the middle names of Florence & Pauline. Nothing especially odd except they were under 70.

One of my friends has the middle name Gung. It has been rumoured his mother may have taken some acid back in the day.
(Lord of the Pies, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:30, Reply)

So tired I forgot my own mother's name........
In my tired and exhausted state (MA dissertation due in soon) I forgot the hilarity of my mother's maiden name. My mum's family are German and Dutch, and her maiden name is Maas (pronounced mars). Not only do people mispronounce it all the time (which used to drive my mum mad) but it also meant that she used to have a lot of trouble getting her school travel pass each year, because the ticket man would think she was taking the piss when she asked for a 'season ticket for Maas'...

Also, my cousin, who shares the same surname is called Justin. I would guess he gets the same kind of jokes directed at him... poor guy, he is a great bloke as well
(lard-tastic, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:28, Reply)

The best one I came accross
while working in a call centre, was a guy named Gauge Barstad.

Runners up include a lady whose middle-name was Binalingbing, and a woman with the surname Bunny who was marrying a man named Mr Slaughter. So much hyphenation potential.
( Calqhoon, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:23, Reply)

A few I came across in my old job,
which I may have made up, but nevermind:

- Freya Badger (some kind of eco-warrior?)
- Dick Wood (I'd like to believe this. It might have been Woody Cock, or it could just have been a bland, slightly funny name that got embellished in the telling.)
- Olive Green / Blanche White (popular amongst old ladies, but its just laziness on the part of the parents, if you ask me.)
- Theresa Green (I remember looking this one up, so its definiately real. edit: its also been mentioned several times before. Sorry...)

Many more that I've forgotten, but my Dad knew a Mr and Mrs Head, who named their daughter Sonya. They wondered why he was laughing when they told him...
He also worked with a man called Robert Palmer, who always gave Dad a blank look when asked "Are you addicted to love?"

Quick note to any prospective parents: naming your daughter "Phrankie" is neither big nor clever. She will be laughed at in admin offices the lenght and breadth of the country.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:11, Reply)

In the future...
If I have a daughter I shall call her Polly. Middle name Esther. Can't wait...
( Strangey is present at, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:08, Reply)

And of course
my old chum Nick Vickers. Or Nicholas Vickers to give him his, frankly, unfortunate underwearless-clergy-type name.
( doctordoctor I feel like a pair of curtains, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:08, Reply)

100% of fact....
A friend of mine found an article in The Times a few years ago about some sort of kiddie pron ring. It was a hard hitting article that was also rather moving, examining the situation from all sides and putting across the victims point of view very factually.
Unfortunately the impact of the article was totally lost when we saw that the reporter's name was Roger Boyes.
(bob n bev, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:06, Reply)

I worked with a guy
in the US office who was Russell T. Spana.

Or Russ T. Spana as he was on his emails.

He did this on purpose. Everyone just called him Rusty.
( doctordoctor I feel like a pair of curtains, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:06, Reply)

Short story
My best friend's maiden name was Short. Kinda funny in itself, made funnier by the fact she married a guy called Spray - so a double-barrelled surname would be either "short spray" or "spray short".

It was even better this year when her brother, another Short, got married, and took his girlfriend's name instead of the other way round. If they'd opted for double barrelled instead, their name would now be "Short Vickers".
(nutty_nut_nuts, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:03, Reply)

Further to the Koch Erecting bloke
s'true that the company wot built the FBI Academy building was the Koch Erecting company (founded by Charles A Koch).

S'also true that the original name of the company was "Koch Glass". 100% actual tact.

www.kochcorporation.com/aboutus.html
( roystead, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:03, Reply)

I was once in hospital next to a poor old
bugger called Bransten Pickle

I also know a Yank called Randy Rogers
( Big Ian has stopped changing his sig, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 11:02, Reply)

my mum taught a lad called
Everard Dick. He was reasonably well known around aylesbury and I think he had a modest athletics career.

His sister has the even more fantastic name Ophelia Dick
( Spoon, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 10:55, Reply)

Remembered another one
In the navy there is a rank abreviated to AB. Also places can be given initial such as EFG. Poor bloke called Seedy.

On the tanoy

'AB...CD...EFG'
(lucky i don't get paid by the hour, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 10:52, Reply)

She's not that short either...
I work with a lady called Pat Head.
(MattyB, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 10:51, Reply)

It's not rude and it's hardly goign to make it onto Pop Bitch but I know a Mark Eighteen. What sort of name is that? And where are the other 17?
( dirty barry, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 10:48, Reply)

my mate was called
Dick Blunt.

And another mate's mum was called Gay Mather.

Not strictly a person's name but the company that built the twin towers was called Koch Erecting. True.
( krang, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 10:46, Reply)

bad names
bloke i used to know at work has the name dick mussel...

never met her myself but through yournotme its been bought to my attention a woman out ther has the unfortunate luck of being called fanny payne..must be a nightmare goign to the docs
(poomin, Fri 27 Aug 2004, 10:46, Reply)