Ben Door...
There's a guy who works for our local supermarket with the unfortunate moniker of 'Ben Door' (no...really) which is funny enough in itself...but picture how funny it is when someone announces on the shop's tannoy system "can Ben Door please make his way to the customer service desk. Ben Door to customer services please"!

I don't know about poor old Ben but i'd be cursing my parents rather soundly if I were forced to walk through a supermarket full of sniggering customers :)
( The Reverend Lord Lizard, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:14, Reply)

names
i new someone at school called roger mee
(callipygous everytime I kill a hitchhiker, God masturbates, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:14, Reply)

At my school
There was a guy called Michael Michael. Or Michael Y. Michael for added comedy effect.

There was also a Vietnamese lad called Phuc Huynh (pronounced something like "foo hween") - I'm sure you can guess what he was known as...
(flying_pasty, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:13, Reply)

He's got a gun!
I once knew a lad called Garland Woolfolk, no, really. A boy called Garland.

He joined the US Marines and became double hard
(lordfredatron lordfredatron, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:11, Reply)

My mother knows someone called Annette Kirton.
And my cousin is called Jenny Taylor.
( CaroWallis, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:11, Reply)

Kipper
Oh yeah we have a tramp in Barnsley. He changed his name by deed poll so that it was 30 names in length. It went something like Yang Per tang Kipper bang two sheds luxury yacht. This way it would take ages for the judge to sentance him.

I know a Troop Young Blood too.
(baboon, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:10, Reply)

Junk Mail Desperados
On a mailing list I once worked on: Mrs Cave-Brown-Cave. My all time fave, that.

A dutch guy who worked with me once called Ferry Gentil, I shit you not.

And a Swede called Bengt Persson. Titter.

Plus the entire contents of the Junk Mail Backlash fanzine some LS6 types put together about 10 years or so ago.
( AntonSporz, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:09, Reply)

A few...
I was at uni with a Christopher Patrick Bacon (Chris P Bacon) and I used to work with a git of a foreman called Fred Rice (his nickname was Chicken).

Me and my workmate toss a coin each month to see who has to phone Mr. Happy (genuine contact name) about his company's gas bill while the other sniggers. It's worse for me because that's the girlfriend's euphemism for 'teh cock'.

There's a girl I know called Gabrielle Needs and for a while she was going out with Darren Cox. Quite a double-barrelled surname if they'd wed.

For the same reason I think it would be great if Courteney Cox had married Michael Fish.
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:08, Reply)

In dont know anyone
Called Richard Head.
Or a Michael Hunt, either.

I do, however, have a friend called Mike Head. Surely that must be funny in some way, but i cant quite figure out how.
(Daveybaby, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:06, Reply)

well...
i know and oyinade osibona (pronounced like "has a boner"). my sisters mate goes to school with a ms. mercedes ford (i nearly shat myself, i jest you not...)

there are the footballers, shitu and dickof.

i know a guy called kurt... nothing funny about that untill he wrote his name on a white board; it came out "Kunt"

that made me laugh. he's a twat...

also, there's a horse racing pundit called willie stroker.

oh, and at church on morning, the bands of marriage were published for the twistleton-kendrick-feines. it's not a pun, but me and my mates all shat ourselves giggling...
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:04, Reply)

BABA
Yes I knew a Baba - his name was Baba Tunde.

We had a trainer at our London Office called Sandy Quim - ace!
(baboon, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:03, Reply)

cock
There was a boy at our school called Lee Mycock.

Not all that funny in itself, but it made our day when the deputy headmaster was looking for Lee for some reason, and burst into our history class to bellow the immortal words "Where's Mycock?"
(baz, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 15:00, Reply)

About 10 years ago I was working for a company in London...
..and my female boss' fiance was called Michael Hunt. Nothing wrong with that apart from the fact that he was known as Mike..... so he'd call up the company and when we'd ask "who's calling" he'd reply "Mike Hunt" - we couldn't keep a straight face. I heard the other day that she'd married him...........
(Hazy, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:57, Reply)

my boss
is called unni einemo.

spell check turns her name to 'Sunny Enema'

fantastic.

also, calling south korea on a regular basis has highlighted that fact that almost the entire country have the surname 'kim'.

they have to differentiat themsleves with initials, eg yb kim, sk kim, lg kim....

my fave tho is a chap who works for an emirates oil company called Odyseuss Goumas. he's greek.
(magictorch, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:54, Reply)

Friends of Ian Fleming?
I've always wondered about Pussy Galore and Dr Goodhead (does she?), ot name but a few...
(CdrVimes, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:54, Reply)

oh oh - another one
my brother - poor lad, surname Cumming, first name william. As a blond haired blue eyed nipper was referred to as Willy Cumming..
(daftmoo, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:50, Reply)

another german mate....
Called Aldi.

He gets grumpy when referred to as Lidl.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:50, Reply)

I know a fellow who married a girl named
Dusty Broadway. I always though it would be a cracking name for a stripper.
( Snollock Biffer I don't really sniff Bollocks, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:49, Reply)

I'm gonna name my firstborn Shunt and my second Bamboo!!
When I was in the military - went to bootcamp with a latina woman whose first name was Placenta.

There was also a Captain with the last name of Crunch - "Captain Crunch". Also a General Harry Palm who had only one eye - the other was Glass which had a design of his choosing (Marine Corps Flag, Skull & Crossbones, etc.)
Very disconcerting when the man was doing a Platoon Inspection and was standing in front of you.

In my travels I have met:
Rusty Cherry
Dawn Ann Knight (dawn and night, get it?)
Dick Powers
(Igneous, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:49, Reply)

A mate's Ex's Daddy...
...was a Police Cuntstubble

called Peter.

PC Peter. ... and as if that wasn't funny enough, his surname was Pimperton.

PC Peter Pimperton.

Now... you'd have thought that he would want to protect his darling Cherrub Children wouldn't you? But NO!!! In True Yorkshire-stylee imaginativeness, His son was named Peter.

Peter (Jr) had a daft accident, and was immortalised on a webpage... it merely proves the family's existance.

"I know I should have been wearing a helmet" DUH.

www.rjw.co.uk/newsandevents/news2003/april14.aspx
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:46, Reply)

Pretty
My dad once had to go to an interview where the prospective boss was called John Pretty.

He introduced himself "Hello I'm Pretty".
(highlordzarj, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:44, Reply)

Kitson
Again... School days.
Once a lad said "wow, I've skidded my pants.... I've never done that before... " This would have been the oldest of 3 Kitsons to go to my School... He became known as "Skidder".
along comes the next brother... Mark.... he also earned the name. Unfortunately for the youngest, Craig, his innitials where C.A.

CAK.
CAK Skidder Kitson.

poor lad.

I'd feel worse about naming him if he hadn't been such an annoying shite.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:40, Reply)

I work with a bloke called...
....Quack


he is german.

Also went to school with a bloke called Jonathan Jeremy James Jones.


he was Welsh
(lucky i don't get paid by the hour, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:39, Reply)

Commander Head
Used to go to school with a couple of lads, who's dad was named Richard Head.
Check it up... he used to be ahelicopter instructor at RAF Shawbury

Luckily, he used to get all his mates to call him Rich, and Not Dick.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:37, Reply)

My old form teacher had an incredibly large nose
His name was Mr Goldstone, well- one day my friend went to the office and said "Hi, I have a message from Mr Gold Nose"

See, it's funny because his name said stone? But he had a big nose! Hence the nose part, not gold; which was his name. But he said nose accidentally, but goldnose isn't his surname, goldstone isn't. See, that's why it's so funny!


Don't worry, i can find my own way out...

Ps. I knew a girl called elanor condon
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:31, Reply)

My mate Coupar....
... had been after this girl for ages- really fancied her (from his Politics class at Glasgow Uni I believe).

Saw her out in the GU after a particularly heavy day on the beers. He was lashed (at about 9pm), she was looking pristine and very fit (wearing a specially purchased new dress). Egged on by the boys he made his way over the empty dancefloor to speak to her. He couldn't believe it when, despite his extrordinary level of drunkeness, she is responsive to his advances. In fact he manages to pull her- thus achieving his goal of several months. The conversation then went as follows:-

Coupar- 'I'm off to the toilet'
Girl- 'No- you just want to run off to your mates'
C- 'I'm going to the toilet'
Girl (grabbing his hand)- 'No, stay here with me'

At which point he vommed in her mouth and hair, all over her face and brand new designer dress.

Apparently it took him two minutes to make it from the club to his house
(dogger collymore, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:27, Reply)

Names wot I have seen
Whilst working for an international finance co.

Fanny Pong (Hong Kong)
Mr Dikshit (Indian)
Mr Fuk (Chinese, I had to phone him up and decided to pronounce it "fook")

I know a teacher who claimed he used to teach an Orsen Cart.

And who can forget the old Irish Foreign Minister Dick Spring (days before Viagra presumably!)
(highlordzarj, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:25, Reply)

A friend of friend
is Thomas Chicken. He works at Penguin.
( mrbrong, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:24, Reply)

At the insurance
company I used to work for we had a policy holder called Zippy Moonflower and at a hospital I worked at later there was a kid on record called Harley Davidson. Sixties parents and the things they regret doing when they sober up. Pffft.
(Small Beer, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:23, Reply)

A bit of a stretch
My sisters surname is Power.
Her boyfriends surname is Russ, but his mothers surname is Tool.
So, if he took his mothers name, then they got married, and she took both names...
She'd be: Mrs Power-Tool
(Thewsion Unclear Power, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 14:22, Reply)