the least impressive skill
I instinctively open my dictionary at exactly the right letter every time I use it, sometimes within a page or two. And it's not one of those shitty little pocket ones - its a Chambers that weighs about 3 kilos.

I don't generally boast about this because nobody gives a toss. It's like saying I've got thicker glasses or a smaller cock.

Makes me happy. I love my dictionary.
(Brand name, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:29, 4 replies)

I know how to blow things up
on land and how to do underwater demolition. If you need a big thing turned into lots of smaller things, I’m your man.

And on not completely unrelated note, when I burst my eardrums I was able to blow smoke out of my ears. Everything grew back after a few weeks so you’ll just have to take my word for it.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:12, 7 replies)

I can ride 'the danger bike' while...
...spinning a magazine on my finger.**

The danger bike is a tiny thing with 5inch wheels. I am a fat thing coming in a 6ft3. I'm sure I'm bending the laws of physics when I do it.

That is all.

**proof pending.
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:09, Reply)

I can roll my tongue into a tube.
Apparently not everyone can.


I can also turn it upside down. Particularly weird when I run my finger from side to side. The brain tells me the finger goes left to right, the tongue tells me it goes right to left.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:08, 11 replies)

I can make hot coffee go cold
just by staring at it for a while.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:07, 5 replies)

I can "gleet"
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gleet (the first entry, not the second *ew*)

I discovered it by accident and only know one other person that can do it. I can fire saliva about 1 metre away.
(stewiegriffin, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:01, 13 replies)

Sick
I cannot be sick. Not really that useful either, just very uncomfortable.
(RJWEcology is just sharpening his axe on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 17:01, 3 replies)

I can make a girl orgasm
Using just my tongue and fingers.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:55, 8 replies)

I can whistle inwards (twice as loud as a standard whistle)
Oh and i can make my eyes 'click'.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:45, 3 replies)

By our powers combined, we form. . .er. . .something useful?
I make a lovely pie. According to my mother, I made my first pie at the age of three. It didn't come out very well, as I'd refused all help and ended up with a sort of chocolatey omelet concoction instead of a chocolate pie, but by the age of nine I was in charge of cooking for the family. Not just because I was good at it, but also because it represented a break from my mother's cooking, for which we were all grateful. I never thought being able to cook and bake successfully without slavishly following a recipe was any kind of unusual talent until I got to school and learned that most of my peers were unable to manage without boxed mixes and ready-meals. In contrast, my sister: She once set a pot of water to boil, then forgot about it until the smoke alarm went off. The pot was so badly scorched that it had to be thrown away. She was in her twenties at the time and yes, I still tease her about burning a pot of water.

Now, my sister is pretty talented in her own right. She can sew, and I don't mean just follow a pattern. I can point to a picture, say 'I want that', she'll do a few sketches, cut some fabric and before I know it, the perfect garment is ready to go. Despite her inability to successfully boil water, when it comes to making clothing she possesses this innate sense of shaping, balance and construction that's almost uncanny. She's a professional costume-maker and is employed as such, too, which I believe to be something worth bragging about. In contrast, me: I've destroyed two sewing machines within a month of acquiring them and am about to start in on my third. Wish it a long life, please.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:42, 4 replies)

i can
fit my entire fist in my mouth. i once walked into a bar in spain, which i'd only been in once, three years earlier. the barman spotted me and said "hey, aren't you the girl who can fit her fist into her mouth?"
what a way to be remembered....


p.s. i also used to be able to down a pint in under 6 seconds.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:41, 12 replies)

I can suck air into my stomach
and then make a belch that last for up to 7 seconds.
Sometimes I can also bring up a bit of the last meal I had if I burp too quickly.
Sorry to bring the tone down more.
( TitanLX, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:38, 1 reply)

I can lift my foot up over six inches from the floor.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:36, 5 replies)

Talent spotting hairdresser
Many years ago, my hairdresser was just tidying up the sides when she said 'It's easier for me if you don't do that.' I had no idea what she was talking about but apparently I moved my ear every time she came near it with the scissors. I can still do it now but only realise it's happening when I feel my glasses move.
(Mr McKenzie Mr McKenzie, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Pain
I have an unusually high pain threshold(sp?) On many occasions I've used myself as a human pin-cushion, to the horror of onlookers.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)

I can
fart the first line of Puff the Magic Dragon.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:26, 5 replies)

I can wink
Not quite as lame as it sounds, I can wink like a doll with a broken eye - one eye open one shut but without all that screwing up of the face.
(Presto1903 oh am I supposed to put something witty here?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:21, 7 replies)

I can hum tunelessly for literally hours on end.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I can make kazoo sounds with my teeth
I sort of purse my lips and hum loudly through the gap between my front teeth. Never seen anyone else do it.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:14, 1 reply)

I can get an entire Magnum into my mouth in one go.
Somewhat foolishly, I was once persuaded to demonstrate this whilst sitting outside a pub on Canal Street in Manchester and spent the rest of the afternoon declining very polite but ultimately unwelcome offers of companionship.
(davywavy, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:14, 6 replies)

When I was younger...
And a bit skinnier, I could literally suck my own cock - just the tip, but it would have been good enough for Britain's got Talent, I reckon.
(hadr0n Craic whore, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:14, 3 replies)

I can throw playing cards in the style of Ricky Jay
Once, I threw one over the 4 storey Charring Cross Police Station.

I probably need to get out more.
(mobi I completed the Internet on 'hard'. Twice., Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:10, 3 replies)

i know all the words to the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
and by all the words i mean the script, the songs and all the audience participation.

as you can imagine, this makes me endlessly popular whenever it's shown on tv...
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:05, 2 replies)

I can make my eyes wobble
they sort of shake rather quickly(it's not just looking left and right very fast). It used to freak people out at school, though I'm sure it's not an uncommon ability. Oh and I can bend my fingers and arms a little more than most people I know(my thumb at a ninety degree angle to the rest of my fingers).
But best of all I can make my cock get really hard and wobble!
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 16:02, 2 replies)

Aural rape
I can hold my nose and blow hard out of my ears, producing a high-pitched squealing noise from one of them.

It used to make my ex agitatedly alternate between flapping her arms and covering her ears, so was a source of some amusement to me.
(kithkill, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 15:59, 2 replies)

I can open my throat,
and just pour liquid straight in! Not an advisable pub trick unless you're drinking Guinness or other non-fizzy beverage. Not to be repeated too many times in one night though!

I can drink a pint in the same time it takes me to down two shots. Great for winning bets.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 15:58, 5 replies)

Speaking of eyeballs
I can make my eyeballs vibrate which I never realised how creepy it looked until my second-born once came up to me and said "Dad, look what I can do with my eyes"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 15:54, 2 replies)

Nothing really incredible.
I can open beer bottles with my teeth. I can make my tongue into a clover too. I can also swallow hotdogs whole. I once beat a gay man at a hotdog swallowing contest. My parents are so proud.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I can play eyeball tennis
essentially, you go cross-eyed then look left without moving your right eye, then go crosseyed again then look right without moving your left eye, and repeat.

Done well, it looks like your pupils are bouncing back and forth like an executive desk toy.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 15:38, 6 replies)