So many. And in almost every case, still would.
Doro Pesch the leather clad blonde lead singer from Warlock.
Anne and Nancy Wilson from Heart.
Lee Aaron, the self styled Metal Queen, Canada's finest export.
Ingrid Pitt, Caroline Munro, Ytte Stensgaaard, Pippa Steel, Veronica Carlson, Kate O'Mara, Raquel Welch, Mary and Madeleine Collinson, Lalla Ward and Madeleine Smith all from the Hammer films.
Sally James from Tiswas.
Lorraine Chase.
Dyanne Thorne, Ilsa She Wolf Of The SS.
Judge Anderson. And of course Debbie Harry, Brian Bolland's "inspiriation" for her.
Helga from 'Allo 'Allo.
And for the wronghorn, Cruella De'Ville and Servelan from Blake's Seven used to make me feel funny too.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 5 Nov 2009, 20:27, Reply)

Jet from 'Gladiators'.
Although I was well out of my teens by then. Still, mmm...bendy!
(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 20:20, 1 reply)

Test-Card Girl
Was it just me or did anyone else have a crush on Carole Hersee (AKA. Test-Card Girl) when they were a kid?



( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 20:16, 12 replies)

Teenage crushes?
Balls to the teenage crushes, I have enough at age 22. I must have been a very late bloomer because through school I had exactly two crushes.

Both of them turned out to be suffering from The Gays. Either I was ugly enough to turn boys gay or, (my preferred explanation) I was attracted to fellas with softly spoken voices and a penchant for interior design.

So rebuffed, I resigned myself to a life of fancying Frodo out of Lord of the Rings. I was about 14, but that's still no excuse. I mean, not even Legolas or Aragorn, but bloody Frodo!

I like to think I've matured a little since then but I do get all snail-trail pants over Robert Downey Jr. It's a written contract between me and my fella that if Mr Downey wanted me then I could go. I'm not completely heartless though, he is all up in the bone for Amy Lee and I have kindly allowed him the same privilege with her.

Oooooh but that scene in Iron Man when he's making his first suit and is all sweaty and dirty and pounding a big hammer and you can see all his glorious arms and shoulders and and and.... phew...

And even in Tropic Thunder near the end, look at his EYES! Such gorgeous eyes I have never seen on a man.

NOMNOMNOM
(becky_bubbles, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 20:14, 4 replies)

Phillip Schofield
Then and now, although not enough to join that wierd Phillip Schofield cult website.

Declan Donnelly
Joshua Jackson when he was in The Mighty Ducks
Ilan Mitchell-Smith = Wyatt from Wierd Science (he looks nothing like that now :( )

But my number one crush was Jason Orange from Take That - I LOVE HIM!

I have always had this lovely fascination with Tim Curry and really cannot work out what it is about him.
( Mrs Sp@m, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 20:12, 2 replies)

Sabrina Salerno
Back in the late 80s, when a 13 year old mistaspakkaman had discovered the joys of naked ladies, the difficulty in finding an * ahem * substitute for my imagination, was causing me to notice anything that had even the slightest hint of nudity.

I was also into watching music-videos on the fledgeling 24-hour a day music-video channels. One day, the video for Sabrina's Boys came on. After watching it for a bit, something caught my eye. While bouncing around in the pool, her loose fitting top turned out to be just a bit too loose. The inevitable happened, and you could briefly see a nipple-slip. Such things were never seen on telly back then, and was surprised nobody had noticed it (although surprise was not what was on my mind at the time). Did the panel of censors really lack a 13 year old boy who could spot a nipple like a shark spotting shark-nipples? Had the censors gone blind from wanking over the things they censored?

As I'd never know when a particular video would come on, I would be in for an unexpected treat when it did. However, when I got hold of my first videorecorder, disaster struck. I could no longer find the nipple-slip in the video. Was it just an illusion of my hormone-addled mind? In the end, it turned out that the TV networks cottoned on and slowed down part of the video to cover the part that was censored. Toomany parents must have seen their teenaged sons sitting in the livingroom with a massive trouser-pyramid and to investigate the cause, they then turned to the TV to see the video, and complained to the networks.

Thanks to Youtube, I can now pretend I got my first videorecorder a bit earlier and watch the video (slightly NSFW) in all it's uncensored glory.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 20:11, 3 replies)

Princess Aura - Flash Gordon
I was just three years old when the film was released, but just 8 years later you gave me that funny feeling in my tummy. Not strictly teen, but as soon as I could, I did!

And Zoe Ball. I still find a woman with slightly sticky-out ears poking through her hair a real turn on!
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 20:04, 4 replies)

Michaela Strachan..
..in the Wide Awake Club era.
(Haywood Manley, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:56, Reply)

So many women - so little time
Fwapping fodder:

Heather Thomas from the Fall Guy in a bikini
Caroline Munro in the wetsuit-unzipped-to-her-navel from her Lamb's Navy Rum ads
Page 3's Sian Adey-Jones wearing very little in a poster called "Temptation" that graced my wall for years.
Glynis Barber as Soolin in Blake's Seven
...and as a dirty old man, Jet from Gladiators
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:52, 2 replies)

Not sure whether to admit to this...
Ulrika "4x4" Jonsson in her TV-AM weather girl days
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:23, 4 replies)

This is the most shameful...
James May. Screw Richard Hammond, I WANT THE MAY!!!

I don't know what it is, maybe it's the kind nature, the floppy hair or the way he's always a little puzzled and confused. All I know is he makes me weak at the knees.

Oddly, and I've just realised this, if you were to add 20 years to Mr. Lucoire and take about 6" of hair off him, he would resemble Mr. May. Excellent.
(Lucoire tutted and shook her head in disbelief on, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:20, 16 replies)

Although I'm now married to a bloke
I was all about the ladies during my teenage years.

1. Alyson Hannigan - many a lady fiddle over her, and my Year 8-10 History teacher who looked a fair bit like her.

2. Several of my female classmates - resulting in pretty extreme mixed feelings (mostly the outstanding horn and trying to understand why I was yearning for other ladies' bits).

Post-teenage years I did eventually get some lady action, but by that time the uber-horn for the fairer sex had waned a bit. The men did get a look in, in the form of Matthew Perry (of Friends fame). Not sure what the appeal was back then, as I certainly can't see the appeal now!
( its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:19, Reply)

Actually more of a pre-teen crush
Kira, in the cinematic picture entitled "The Dark Crystal" did haunt my mind for a long time after watching said movie.


Yes, I was as aware back then as I am today that she's a bloody muppet...

...and yes I'd still boink her if the opportunity presented itself...
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:12, Reply)

Carol Decker
Red hair + leather + pout = boing + fwap + splodge

(No it wasn't me that did this in her wardrobe but I fully understand and admire whoever did. Allegedly)
(randomstupidname would really like this signature field to be bigge, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:11, 3 replies)

Expect to hear a lot from me this week.
Rampant hormones and being stuck in a school with a 60/40 girl to boy ratio was a bad combination to start with. Even worse in year 9, which is the middle of the school career. Girls not too older than you, and girls not too younger than you- Anyone's fair game. Apart from the teachers, but I'll go into that in a later post (maybe).

Anyway, there was this girl who happened to fall into the latter category- older. At the time, it seemed like she was MUCH older, but looking back, two years ain't that much. Anyway, her name was Layla. She had radiant blonde hair that stretched to her lower back, amazing blue eyes, and she played the violin. Her "alternativeness" made me fall for her. When people were listening to awful metalcore, new monkey and post-hardcore music, she was listening to things like New Order and Kate Bush. She was awesome.

Anyway, I found myself completely smitten, where I'd stare at her any time she walked by, and kept talking about her to my friends. Subsequently, they must have gotten sick to the back teeth of me talking about her, and decided something must be done. Whether out of annoyance, or just being good mates, they told her how I felt (without me knowing, of course). Anyway, as any young teenager does, I had a whole butt-ton of friends...and every single one of them all told her how I felt. Eventually, she started to get sick of it. How do I know? She confronted me about it...

Her two friends came up to me, with her trailing behind them, looking a little upset and annoyed. Before I could say anything, her friend started yelling at me, about how I should leave her alone, and something about me bordering on stalking. They walked away, looking still rather annoyed, leaving me standing with my mouth hanging open, still full of words I was going to say before her outburst.

Moral of the story: You want something done, do it yourself. Or stand back and admire something, rather than take it in. Or something.



:(
(almightyjoey is most likely listening to Electric Wizard on, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:09, Reply)

Emma Thompson in Tutti Frutti.
Oh how I locked forward to seeing her frolic naked in "The Tall Guy". And oh dear god, what a disappointment.
(ubergeekian, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 19:00, Reply)

My English Teacher
She came to our all boy's grammar straight from teacher training college. She wore stockings; we knew because she used to cross her legs so often. She always had her blouse unbuttoned far too low; we saw it when she bent over us to look at our work. She was the face that launched a thousand wanks.
Then she disappeared. She'd apparently left her husband for one of the sixth formers.

Fast forward about seven years. I'm a medical student doing my obstetric attachment. I get called to labour ward to mend someone's post childbirth torn-up minge.

Yup, it was her, with the sixth former standing next to the bed, blushing.

I made my excuses and left, so i never did get to see what I'd have paid for in blood as a kid.
(Doktor Egg, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 18:53, 4 replies)

From my childhood:
The Nurse from 'who framed roger rabbit'.

Marge Simpson (but only with her hair down)

and that blonde woman from Monty python's 'and now for something completely different' - Carol Cleveland

www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/images/reviews/249/1226975582_3.jpg

Possibly thousands upon thousands more. Including jo guest.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 18:44, 1 reply)

1. Alan Davies
Dear fucking God why? Jonathan Creek was more popular than God at the time, all my friends' walls were plastered with Leo DiCaprio and the one from 5ive who wore lipstick, and I was getting my pre-pubescent knickers in a twist over a man who looks like a poodle. And getting stick for it. Every day. I am comforted to learn that in real life the man is an absolute douchebag and only watch QI for the Mighty Lord Fry and occasional appearance by Bill Bailey. Would not, for all the money in the world.

2. David Duchovny
X-Files, although it gave me Teh Fear something awful, being a rather sheltered child. Also, he looked like my history teacher (the years have been far kinder to Mr Duchovny than they have to him). Still would. (Yes, I know he's a certified sex addict.)

3. Viggo Mortensen (but only as Aragorn)
I was 16 when Fellowship of the Ring came out, and this one has had the most bearing on my taste in men for the foreseeable future: tall, long hair, stubble/beard, the whole authority thing (there is that scene in The Two Towers where he comes in all dishevelled and masterful and even now I lose the power of speech when I see it. Oh, just look at it.* )

4. Hugh Jackman (50:50 Van Helsing:Wolverine)
I loved Van Helsing, because it was meant to be like a shit B-movie. I also loved Hugh Jackman with the Gattling crossbow and the leather coat and the hat and the dishevelledness and the scruffiness and the buckles. Still would, even after seeing Oklahoma!

... yeah, I'm off for a lie down now.

* Searching for this screencap nearly gave me an aneurysm.
( Maladicta, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 18:42, 13 replies)

Blue Peter
used to do a great line in shaggable female presenters.. Sarah Greene, Janet Ellis (although her daughter looks like a zombified goth), Caron Keating, and of course Anthea Turner.

*imagines group action*
( Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 18:40, 1 reply)

Crushes...
Amy Linker, the _other_ girl on "Square Pegs". (Not Sarah Jessica Parker, though I wouldn't have thrown her out of my room.)

Kate Bush. *sigh*

Annie Lennox. I got into that red hair and riding crops thing.

And, of course, Jennifer Connolly from "Labyrinth". I wanted to be her stuffed animal, yep, yep.
(springjack The King Of Pygmy Marmosets!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 18:31, Reply)

Prickteasing tart
The barmaid at our regular, the only pub which would serve us when we were Sixth Formers, was fit. Straight out of the top drawer fit. She would frequently come up in our topics of conversation such as the one night that we all got to learn that she liked having her chocolate stabbed according to one boy who "knew these things". She was early twenties, gorgeous and well out of our league but that doesn't stop one dreaming.

Come Halloween, the bar staff were wearing costumes: wicked witch, Frankenstein's Monster, that type of thing but not this lady. Her costume consisted of high heels, stockings, suspenders, lacy knickers and a see-through bra.

You could not keep us away from the bar, the usual:
"Whose round is it?"
"Dunno, yours?"

became:
"My round I think"
"But you just got a round 30 seconds ago"
"Did I? Oh well, drink up, who wants another?"

I expect we all drunkenly wanked ourselves to sleep that night, I know I did.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:55, Reply)

set the tone for all my crushes really...
Fairuza Balk, who was in Return to Oz and The Worst Witch.

really fancied her when I was like 8 or 9, then didn't hear from her in years, and saw her playing the sexiest fucked up goth ever in The Craft and reignited my first ever crush.

Also had a thing for supergirl, and at the age of 14 Uma Thurman (though that was more due to Quentin Tarantino using his directorial privileges to indulge the fetish he clearly shares with me)
(clinteastwoodbradfield, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:32, 2 replies)

So Many...
But here we are a few.

Kate Bush - Any man who was a teenager in the 80's and says they didn't fancy Kate Bush is either lying or gay.

Debbie Harry - See above.

Belinda Carlisle - It was the curves that did it...and that cute little upturned nose. Or it could have been her close resemblance to 80's porn star Ginger Lynn. Maybe shouldn't have confessed to liking her on radio programme though (Belinda not Ginger). Mummy Flunk has never let me forget it to this day.

Janet Ellis - Fit and she could make stuff out of sticky backed plastic and old washing up bottles.

Selina Scott - Mmmmm...made breakfast TV watchable...and I still would.

Sally James - See comments for Kate Bush and Debbie Harry.

Kathy Lloyd - Page 3 model...imagine my delight when I managed to get her phone number as a grown up (but that's another story).

And my old Science teacher Miss Wall...I need to take a cold shower just thinking about the filthy minx.
(Ceasar Flunk can see your house from here, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:30, 1 reply)

Dr Tugnut 2 reminds me of my unnatural interest in Captain Black,
arch-enemy of the saintly but boring Captain Scarlet.

I was a bit old for the puppet stuff but my little brothers used to watch, and there was only the one telly, so I was stuck with it.

I secretly thought Captain Black looked a dirty sod.
We girls, we just love the bad boys. Can't help it.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:19, 2 replies)

I wasnt even a teenager
My first crush was on *Oh the shame* Morten Harket the lead singer of A-ha. I was only about 5 or 6 when I saw the video for 'Take on Me' the one where he starts of as a pencil sketch, which worried me no end, but it turns out ok as he turns into a real man again. Phew.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 17:11, 1 reply)

That guy from kd lang and the langsters.
*pokes out tongue*
(harrumph, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Kelly Le Brock.
Still gives me a boner whenever I see her in Weird Science or The Woman in Red.
(ceeej, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:53, 2 replies)

a long, long time ago
Olga Korbutt
my neighbour, Sarah
Raquel Welch
and - from magazines *borrowed* from my brother - Mary Millington.
(essexfriend, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Being a teenager in the 80s
it was obviously Bananarama without a shadow of a doubt. I wanked myself spastic over the thought of getting the three of them getting undressed with me in my room for some cherry-popping fun. Though if that'd have happened, the chances are I would've been spent before Siobhan had even taken her beret off. Providing she left it on until last (that's what happened in my head anyway).

Considering the first time a girl actually reached into my pants and starting tugging I thought my cock had fossilised, I can't imagine what would've happened with three naked 80's pop stars in my room. Probably break the laws of thermodynamics.

I've just done a quick search on t'interwebnet, and by Christ they've aged well considering they're pushing 50 and Siobhan's 51 now.

Edit: Not only that, but Kim Wilde and Nena were still pretty hot back in 2003.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVOiUHo3WSE
see?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 16:53, 2 replies)