self abuse
When I was about 13 we had a party and all I can remember is cracking one off in my mate's parents' bedroom watching their dirty porn...

Clockwork Orgy I believe.
(blackfacedfightinggibbon, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 13:06, Reply)

Went to a party at my friend's house...
He's got a massive house in a really quiet village. His parents went away and told him that he could have a few friends round. Between him and his brother they managed to get about 150 people, someone turned up with a big bag of drugs that they were selling. Ended up dancing to drum and bass until 6 in the morning when the neighbours finally called the police. His house was wrecked, but a party which has yet to be equalled.
(tomatosoup, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 12:54, Reply)

pooeoke
A best friends 16th,she decided to have kareoke and punch and lots of loud music.I'll try and keep it short.Everyone was drunk,the kareoke masters decided it would be hilarious to use the helium balloons to do kareoke all night.A friends had gotten dumped that day and drank a whole bottle of vodka at the party and locked herself in the bathroom.All the people who had been ingesting large quantities of helium needed to have a poo quite badly/be sick.There is only one bathroom in her house.
After some garden poos had been done and a lot of immodium had been purchased from the corner shop (rendered redundant though as everyone,including myself were too drunk to read whether you can take it with alcohol)I decided to try and get the poor twat out of the bathroom.She let me in and I moved her to be sick in the bath...it was vile.then I unlocked the door so everyone could come in for ablutions whilst that poor girl vommed her guts out.
The Rozzers arrived shortly to a party full of drunk,shit covered 16 year olds,told us to "keep the noise down" and left.
(minister of evil, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 12:12, Reply)

French Student...
I was born and raised in Winnipeg, Canada, and went to a French Immersion school.

So in grade 11 (about 16 years old...) we got this new kid in our class, who's parents just moved from Quebec. The second weekend of term, his parents were out of town on buisness. We managed to convince him he should have a house-party, as it would be really good for him, and make him loads of new mates. Finally he agreed, as long as we kept it small...

So we put posters up all over the high-school, advertising a massive rave, with free booze and women. We told our mates at other schools to do the same.

Eight o'clock comes on the fateful evening, and already his house has about 200 people in it.

Eight-thirty, and there's about 600.

Nine o'clock and the television has been thrown out the bathroom window.

Nine-fifteen, and his dining-room table has been stuck, feet first, through his mother's bedroom wall.

Nine-thirty and most of the wallpaper in the lounge has been pulled down, and shoved down the toilet. Then the toilet has been pulled off the wall.

Various silverware has been put in the toaster, which has then been put in the microwave which has been turned on.

The CD collection vanished, although some of his parents CD's were thrown on the George Foreman grill.

Finally, the garage was lit on fire, someone took a rather unpleasant shit in the ceiling of the lounge, and a car was driven through the front door.

It was at this point, just as the police/fire/ambulance were showing up, that I thanked him for a lovely evening, nicked a bottle of scotch, and pissed off.

He never came back to that school. His parents took him back to Quebec, and the house was demolished and rebuilt.

Fucking awsome party.
( Demonic Omelette, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 11:49, Reply)

Please never mix alcohol, fireworks and horses
Firstly, I do apologise for yet another 'we all got pissed and did something stupid while other people threw up' story.

But anyway, we were somewhat pissed, and thought a firework display would be fun. Bit instead of planting this roman candle in the ground, my friend decided it would work just as well if he held it. After the first shot fired, he surprisingly found it was rather hot, and threw it into the neighbouring field. Where it started to shoot at us.

One hit the tent, which somehow didnt set alight, one nearly hit the girls as they ran inside screaming, one passed only an inch from said friends head as he leaped the fence to retrieve firework. As he picked it up the others fired safely into the distance...

towards his neighbours farm housing his very expensive racehorses, apparently one had to be put down becuase of the shock. He isnt allowed any more parties.

_{that was longer than I thought, apologies!}
(Anduril, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 11:48, Reply)

Coconuts are evil
late last year at a party in a mates house we managed to convince a fellow party goer that he could break a coconut using nothing buy his head using the quote 'i've seen it done on a film'
well one head butt later, there was my friend trying to stop the bleeding from the impressive gash on his forehead using a plastic bag. we still dont know why he chose the bag over the tissues
(RandomMandela hellow, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 11:45, Reply)

it was a saturday night
and a girl was giving a birthday party. unfortunately she lived 15km away from me and some friends, so we took our bikes and started cycling, making regular stops to smoke some weed. about halfway, we remembered something: we didn't bring a gift! what to do now? EUREKA! girls like flowers! so we stopped near a farm in the middle of nowhere, and stole their postbox to use for a vase. in went some violets growing in a nearby yard, and some more flowers until we had a nice bouquet. so of we went to the party, and presented her with our original creation. at this point, she was impressed with our creativity. meanwhile the party went on, and we got drunk. since we couldn't be arsed to cycle all the way back home, we broke into a used paper container where we spent the night. paper insulates quite well, so we slept well too. sunday, we nursed our collective hangovers, and we went to school on monday. all was still well, until the girl comes up to us. turns out that the random postbox we stole belonged to her grandfather, who immediately recognized it when he saw it standing on the gift table, containing some of his violets...
(radja, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 11:19, Reply)

Party at Walshy's
17 years old............
My friend asked me what I wanted from the off licence to which my stupid reply was,"Just get whatever you like but nothing stupid"
One family sized economy bottle of 'Stock' and and more herb that my young virgin lungs had ever experienced later and I have my head down the toilet for the next 3-4 hours. Great days eh, ten years on and I'm still waiting for a night as good as that one.

Tell you one thing though as a wise man once said, "I'll take puking session from booze over a 'whitey' any day of the week!!"
(Shot glass, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 11:08, Reply)

Crikey where do i start
First one that comes to mind, was the leaving do some of my mates had for their last xmas at school, i'd already left being born in that late June/July time where your mates 2 months younger than you end up in the year below, an the night of this party i was on the whiskey, a couple of us thought we were the ones.

I wanna go to this party being held at the school sports hall, an aircraft hanger sized venue, with basketball court e.t.c. the teachers supervising know me, and won't let me in, so my mate lets me in through a back door.

the hall used to be able to be partitioned down the middle by a sheet covering the lot, queue me needing a piss, but theres a teacher standing out in the corridor by the loos so i proceed in an almost pitch black side of the partition to piss all over this sheet separating the disco. Sticking my tongue down the throat of the only girl that would dance with me and trying to remove her fillings, e.t.c.

Also, used to every few weeks have open parties round a mates house, he just lived with his mum, who worked in a pub and didn't give a shit, his neighbours were just as bad to, all the doors would be open and people could come and go as they pleased, the nights were legendary, there is a singer/guitarist in a reformed band that used to get wasted there too i used to be best mates with ;) (not seen since school tho)

anyway, the attendances could easily reach 50+ spilled out on the front lawn, back, everywhere (in a small early 80s council 3 bed tip of a house, you know the sort, rows of 6, no bigger than a large school class room on 2 floors). he had a sterio system with 2x4 an a 1/2 foot tall custom speakers and smaller ones all over the place, you could hear the doo from half a mile away in teh local park. this was in teh early to mid-90s when it was german techno on some obscure radio station on Sky i can't remember the name of, and cheesy stuff by Snap e.t.c.

anyway, it wasn't uncommon for mates to cop off with birds who'd just been sucking off another mate 10 minutes before, ya know, stories of mates pubes in the birds mouth e.t.c. 2's up on a girl bearly old enough an so on, starts the night like a smarty tube not by the end, bowls in the garden, bongs an so on.

Target practise with my mates .22 was a lot of fun across the nearby school field, i caught one mate in teh arse, wasn't so funny when i was running an got it tho, ha!

he doesn't live there now, needless to say there is a house in the town that has a motorbike and a raliegh grifter buried in the garden
(1_not_so_careful_owner, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 10:56, Reply)

First Halloween after discovering teh booze...
I'd just started college after a drunken summer holiday having discovered drink and teenage rebellion shortly after my GCSEs. My favourite drink at the time was whiskey, specifically Bells. I would regually be found down the local park swigging the stuff straight out of the bottle, I thought I was so cool. So when i get invited to a small halloween party round my friends house and get asked what drinks I want her to get in I just say, "Get me a bottle of whiskey and I'll be happy for the night". First mistake!
I turn up and my vague instructions see me handed a litre of Lidl's finest within seconds of getting there. And now for my second mistake, half an hour later all the whiskey's gone. Now personally I remember nothing between looking at a half empty bottle and waking up in hopsital with some angry looking parents stood over me but I've never been aloud to forget that I proceded to finish the bottle, try and grope a girl that was sat next to me then spent the next hour before the ambulance turned up thowing up all over this girl's living room and garden before pulling off my party piece of crawling around the garden, pants round my ankles and pissing myself.
Haven't touched whiskey since, in fact, even the smell of the stuff still makes me need to hurl.
(MauveGnome is watching you whilst you sleep, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 10:18, Reply)

Im gonna post this before my boyfriend does..
A few months ago,my mum found out about me and my boyfriends,ahem,sex life. She went mental at me,I scarpered off to my boyfriends. Unfortunately,he was off to a party that night,so suggested i came too. So I did.

We got there and,as we decided it wouldnt be wise to have sex at mine for a while,we asked the host of the party if we could borrow his parents bed for a while. He let us.

We got into the room,turned out the lights,he took his trousers off,i took mine off,and we did it like that. Then people kept coming in,interrupting us. But in the throes (sp?) of orgasmic pleasure,we ignored them. As we steadily got more naked,more people came into the room and eventually we had an audience of 5 people,watching and laughing and poking us.

Photos and a now infamous video were taken...
(Miharu, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 10:12, Reply)

Smell me fingers
During those care free days of college a few students ended up in a bar in Birmingham for someone's birthday party. However, the main room quickly emptied and everyone could be found in the women's toilets listening to James and Vicky playing sticky finger.

The room went into uproar when Vicky quietly and with her best sexy voice said, "James, make love to me." To which James replied, "No." Why he would stick his fingers up her twunt and not his cock I don't know. But he left Vicky in the cubicle and came out into the toilet and shouted, "SMELL ME FINGERS".

Scampi and Lemon flavour Nik Naks if you're interested.
(nimnimnumnim "i" twice, a single "u" and "m" a few times, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 10:04, Reply)

Black Tongue
I would always get invited to one girl's parties. They were nearly always on a Friday night, so I could usually get away with "Sorry, I'm being Jewish tonight, I can't come". It was true anyway, and I was a fairly antisocial kid.

One time though, I couldn't avoid it and there were no major festivals coming up. Bugger. We were all 14, all the tiny little boys were showing off and trying to be clever and I wasn't having fun. I opened up the cupboards in the kitchen to try and find what I was looking for.

Ah! Gottit, briliant...

I wandered out into the garden and climbed onto the roof of the shed, an eggcup full of vinegar in one hand. I then sipped at this cup of vinegar for the rest of the night until my tongue went black. Several people came up to the roof too, and we spent most of the night heckling the drunks.

Mmmm, I can still taste it now....
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 9:36, Reply)

Ooh
Apeloverage: You've spelt savoury wrong. By quite a few letters.

My mate's 18th, at my house for some reason. I drank a bottle of tequila and passed out in the toilet bowl. Woke up to a bleach burn on one side of my face and lost my sense of smell for 3 months. And managed to break the little knobbly bit on the end of the cord for the bathroom light by shutting in the door.
( Tone Depear fucking rocks, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 9:32, Reply)

Apeloverage
Isn't that when you're on fire?

Stop, drop and roll?

The flames will burn out after d6 turns anyway.
( gone, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 9:03, Reply)

everyone on this forum...

...seems to have led a wild teenage life, full of drunken parties and wild, meaningless sex.

Uh-huh. Go on, tell me with a straight face that you don't know what a 'saving roll' is.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 8:59, Reply)

all my parties are really sad - i have very few friends
but, a really annoying guy told me this, so here goes:

a really rich girlhad a 'house disco' with 20 people, catered for them. so, along comes the big day, a saturday, the people start to turn up, no only 20, but 80 fucking drunk (& horny) teenage boys and girls, bringing more drink etc. now, a few people were physically stopped buy her security Guards and gates etc the police turned up, she had her house wrecked,stuff stolen, people were just fucking around. people got hurt and bailed when the police came.

also another guy had his party on a friday, now, this is one of the poshest people in the school, rich going to have a quaint little sensile partyat his house, but 50 girls ended up turning up, so he had to cancel



he blatantly has a butler though
(ameoba photographer for hire, cheap, see profile, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 8:53, Reply)

I thought I was the one having a bad morning but...
A road trip to visit friends at uni went horribly wrong due to the huge volume of rye whiskey and wine I felt the need to inflict on myself. Taking a pause from the party in a friend's car with the girl who I later found out was nicknamed "Miss Piggy" (sorry about the spot shots on the seat, mate)was probably a bad idea. That part at least I remembered. Why I went to sleep in the bathtub, I haven't a clue. I was out like a light until morning, when I opened my eyes thinking someone was going to piss on me (why else would he be waving it at me?). The fact that the toilet was right beside my head hadn't occured to me(who expects to wake in the tub?). Perhaps it was a better experience for me than for the guy who was faced with the screaming loonie rising from the tub. He pissed all over the bathroom...except on me. Screaming worked. Adding to his fear was the fact the Miss Piggy had given me a solid collar of hickeys. He thought I might have been strangled, but had to piss so bad he was willing to wait until after to check me out. Not just a psycho, but a zombie psycho!! My head still hurts thinking about it all. More road trip stories and I'm sad to say drunken bathtub stories to follow if I get ambitious.
(mrbuddhafreak, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 8:50, Reply)

I will follow this up with a proper post
Cos tomorrow evening I'm going to a 18th birthday party (in short, multiple people of drinkage!) And I will divulge the more significant details afterwards
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Fri 14 Apr 2006, 5:15, Reply)

considering my age and (lack of)social life,
I've never been to an actual party. My closest substitute and first/only experience with teh drink involved me and two friends and a good amount of Jack Daniels mixed with Pepsi.
We wandered around in the rain for two hours with it, and when we got home there was general merryment, which for some reason ended later with me getting my hands tied behind my back with a necktie, wrapped tightly in a bedsheet and pushed onto a bed.
I was so cozy, though, that I fell asleep. Yes, what fun.
( trintrin has jam for blood, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 4:21, Reply)

first party.
first party I ever hd was on the top of my properties hill. had about 15 people over, aged from around 14-16.

-I had to go to A&E and get 19 stitches in my head, because i flipped the three wheeler motorbike with trailer down the hill.

-Had the police come because whilst I was in the hospital, my idiot swiss friend kevin threw everyones cans of aerosol deoderant in the fire. my girlfriend coped a forehead of shrapnel.

-2 mates got intoa fight, mate 1 tried to pull off a fancy matrix move, fall on his arm and broke snapped it right in half. worst break the hospital had seen all year.
(nevrborn, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 4:14, Reply)

The night began with me bar hopping with some friends but later
I crashed a party and all I remember of that party was a duckling that was drinking beer out of anyone's cup on the counter

Yes I know that was odd and that's why I remember that part of the party...they say you never forget the first time you see a duck drink beer and I guess they're right

That was my last coherent memory...the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake the next morning after having slept the night wedged behind a sofa in a house over 60 miles out of town in another state by a lake

Somehow I had hooked up with five other guys...none of whom I had ever met before and we(all drunker than the next) had driven in one of their cars to this house...seemed like a good idea at the time

Anyway I had been woken up by the guy's girlfriend who owned the lakeside house...she was beyond pissed off we were there and was whacking people with a broom trying to get us all up and out of her home

The ride back to the city was a miserable one...none of us had been allowed to clean up so the inside of the car was very stinky...at least the trip was quiet since none of knew who any of the others were and all we really wanted was to get back to our own beds to sleep our hangovers off

That was not the first time I ever drank so much I couldn't remember what I did the next day and woke up in a strange location but it was the last time(the thought of waking up dead from the long drunken drive to the house really spooked me)
(Inventor of the slipless banana peel, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 4:13, Reply)

Where the drink can lead..
Well, I decided to go to dublin with a friend, to check out some colleges, and to meet up with a drinking buddy of mine(lets call him x) I hadnt seen in a long time.

Now, when we drink - we often take it a bit too far, and often wind up in a bit of trouble.

So I meet up with my friend at about 4pm, knowing I had to get the 6pm train home to the opposite end of the country. So I decide to go for one pint.


The next morning, woken by a phone ringing;
Voice on the end of the phone; "Eoghan, where are you? Are you in school?"
Myself, looking cautiously around the room, and seeing someone passed out on the couch; "I... I honestly dont know. There's someone on the couch. Its either my kidnapper, or x. Er.. could you trace this call and let me know where I am?"

I decided to use my extra day in Dublin, basking in the fact that no-one in the county knew me, In trying it on with the most attractive girl I could find. Considering I was searching in dublin, it was a pretty good find. And I got away with it too.

Schwing.
(' or 1=1 --, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 1:32, Reply)

Oh dear god.
In the past year, when I've pretty much been introduced to drink, I dont have the best track record. In rough chronological order:

1)Lecherously groped a girl in a room full of her very conservative strait-laced friends. Loudly.

2)Broken a female friends collarbone by accident. (I tried to do a firemans lift on her, failed, and fell backwards on top of her. Shes slightly built, about five eight, and im six foot and thirteen stone. go figure.)

3)In australia, graciously had the invite of my cousins friend extended to me to an eighteenth. I make a big hole in a plasterboard wall and nearly lose my cousins friend's thousand dollar bond against damage. My cousin, and especially her friends, are unlikely to forgive me at any time in the far future.

4)At a friends eighteenth, I manage to ruin a £300 suit by trying to stop him going into an abandoned reservoir. I think, OMFG, he could drown, hes pissed! The guys sober as a judge, and in my haste I realise I have a two foot long tear from right shoulder to left hip as a result of catching the jacket on some rusty chainlink fence.

However, im very happy as I met my current beau at a party last week, and things are going so very well its like black magic!
(castaboras the time at the beep will be, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 1:08, Reply)

good times
now in college there are no good crazy partys anymore, so i am reduced to reminiscing about partys from the last 3/4years

like the one where there were 117 people, live music at 10 till half 11, i managed to start a competition to see how many girls we could get to simultaneously kiss (8) a foot and a half long spliff (if photo is found it will be put up) two fat non lesbians getting naked on the landing for attention, countless 15 years olds having sex, the police turned up 4 times making the people smoking weed (everyone) oh so slightly paranoid and trying to escape through aback alley, it only ended when the paramedics were called cause some guy overdosed on ecstasy (i feel guilty cause i didnt know why he was just sitting there and i surreptisiously sneaked abottle of jd from his pocket)

oh sorry there has been one good party from college, live music once again from a band called sleeping west (www.myspace.com/sleepingwest check em out)this manager/spacker guy from mcdonalds who was a complete fucking weirdo (diff story) a shitload of goths/emos, this one all ended when the resident pet rabbits head was ripped off. ahh good times
(muggins im afraid dave.my mind is going, i can feel it, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 0:23, Reply)

I'm halfway through being a teenager.
The usual parties... getting really drunk, someone whose not meant to be there turning up, someone whose not meant to be there and twenty years too old turning up, someone's parents joining in, someone getting really hammered and throwing up in an amusing place, having to run from places, having to run to places and that. ... But I've never been able to host my own yet.

I'm 17 in August and my parents are going on holiday.



Fools.
(ladyintheradiator, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 0:14, Reply)

Ohh God
I spent my 16th birthday getting copiously drunk in a youth hostel in Cork. After consuming a wide variety of high quality beverages such as "Dutch Gold" and cheap cider i stumbled off toward an already stained bunk bed.

Through the night I felt ill, jumped down from the bed and ran to the bathroom next door, i fired the swinging door open to be confronted with some poor bastard of another nationality, the look of fear in his eyes as i came at him with a mouth bulging with sick will live with me for a long time. He deftly leaped to one side as i rushed past and threw up in the sink.

Feeling much relieved I went back to my bunk bed, to fall unconsious and later was sick, while asleep, the gravity aided puke splattered all over my recently "ex'd" girlfriends bed (below mine) result! I was then dragged to the bathroom where a over eager "helpful" asian fellow wished to comfort me telling my friend "Leave him here, me look afta him!" thankfully he didnt.

The best bit was in the morning where my best mate woke up and asked the mate who dragged me to the toilet, "God was the Kaiser that bad last night?" to which he replied; "yeah he was sick all over his boots" BM: "Ha ha sucker.... wait he doesnt have any boots..." yes I was sick over (and in) my best mates boots, we tried the next morning to clean them up but they remain stained to this day (I'm still sorry about that mate).

I don't know what happened to the puke covered bedsheets nor do i want to, apparently I looked like hell the next day but didn't feel too bad(and anyone who knows me now knows who i am)

sorry that was so long.
The Kaiser
(ShizerKaiser, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 0:04, Reply)

1st piece of cake
the first party I ever went to was Glastonbury festival. I was 3 months old. A police van was set on fire on the Monday evening, as the cops tries to bring the fun to an end.

After 15 years of this I was ready to stop hanging out with my parents. Cue 8,000 people in the county ground for 18 hours of jungle techno.

These days I'm all grown up with kids. My idea of a party is an organic, free-range BBQ, home made chilli cider, organic skunk and a bareback shag with the wife.

Oh, and some very loud music. I'M GOING DEAF YOU SEE?
(globalloon, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 23:39, Reply)