I've seen no mention of them yet, so here goes.
Thanks to a local radio station I've become uncomfortably familiar with these two criminal acts:

Ke$ha. A talentless harpy with a voice like being raped in both ears by sandpaper cocks.
3Oh!3. A pair of obnoxious spastic nerds.

Then they collaborated, twice. Lots of folk might sneer at black rappers, but only privileged white kids have the nerve to make music this offensively awful.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:29, 4 replies)

The Superdrug house band
Not to long ago (hence my having no need for wavy lines), I found myself in Superdrug.

What was I doing there? Well, I couldn't find what I was after in Boots.
What couldn't I find in Boots? Well, it's none of your business. I'd suggest JLS condoms for comedy effect but that would be untrue since I have no need for condoms, particularly ones featuring the visages of the latest 3-character pop group. (MN8 FTW!)
Why don't I need condo...
By Jove, these digressions are getting ridiculous! On with my tale.

Anyway, I was in Superdrug, that has been established now. It is a custom of mine to listen to songs of my choosing on my MP3 player of choice whilst I peruse the shops on my local thoroughfare, or, I listen to some well bangin' choons when I'm in town innit!
But it is also my way of doing things that I take my earphones out when I am about to purchase the goods I desire, so that the transaction can go as satisfactorily as possible for both the vendor and customer.
On this fateful occasion though I happened to remove them too hastily, and it was so that I was to experience for the first time in my score plus eight years the "songs" of Superdrug's instore radio station.

I am unsure how exactly the licensing of songs broadcast in shops works but I presume a fee must be paid, and I can only presume that in some cases it works out as slightly cheaper for shops to hire some session musicians to do passable cover versions of the latest popular tunes.
Some people reading may have already heard the music played in Superdrug and thought nothing of it, the covers are passable as I have already said, especially I should imagine when heard at a low volume. But on this day the volume of the music was somewhat above a murmur, maybe somewhere around that of my late Grandmother's television whilst Bergerac was on.

And it was so that I was subjected to around about a verse and a chorus worth of Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put on a Ring on It)" as sung by a person evidently much less talented than the aforementioned pop star, with a backing track of dubious production values.
I thank God that I am not completely adverse to that song, as I cannot begin to comprehend what a version of something akin to "I Gotta Feeling" would sound.

If there is a moral to be found in my rather erratic tale it is this; you may not appreciate some musical acts but stop and imagine for a while the horrors which the Superdrug house band could conjure up for your own unsuspecting ears.

Oh, and don't read too much Victorian fiction all at once, it makes your writing style go all funny (but not, alas, in a humorous manner).
(Jimmy Savlon, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:26, Reply)

Faithless
I detest his bunch of one-chord cunts with a passion.

Read a perfect review of them once:

'Lifestyle music, for people with no life and no style.'
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:22, 5 replies)

I'm sure this QotW is going to encourage Trolls
"What's a popular band I'm not fond of? I'll claim they're the 'worst band ever' to rile up some folk who'll then jump to their defense"
I hope I'm wrong though, or people don't rise to the bait.

Someone recommended I listen to Rolo Tomassi. They are a massive pile of cack, the vocals are truly awful, even for screaming.
(Stu in the hat is frothing at the gash, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:22, 5 replies)

I once saw a German video
of a woman being rogered senseless from behind with a big sausage.

In my opinion, that was the wurst bend-over.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:09, 6 replies)

Guns'n'Roses
Bunch of American twats, with music so bad, it makes me want to eat my own earwax.
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:06, Reply)

In June 2007
I was having a load of bricks delivered. However, as the B&Q lorry was lowering them into the front garden from the road the strop snapped and they all fell on the path in front of my house, like, well, like a ton of bricks. So I had to get a barrow and cart them in. It took ages.
That strop WAS the worst band ever.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:05, Reply)

Abba
Girly shite.
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:05, Reply)

Led Zeppelin
Again, just a bunch of noisy rubbish. Tuneless and dull.
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:04, 3 replies)

Pink Floyd
Prog rock my arse. Dull tuneless rock more like.
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:03, Reply)

Eva Cassidy
Her interpretation of Over The Rainbow is the most self-indulgent tuneless pile of shit I have ever heard. I remember the TOTP2 (I miss that show) it was on when she shot to fame on the basis of being dead, and then the next day at school one of my teachers said it was so amazing they felt the need to subject us to it again. WHY?
(GothicTechie, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 1:00, 4 replies)

Jimi Hendrix
What's so special? 100s of guitarists are just as skillful, and a damn sight more tuneful. Was he the first to play like that, or the most proficient at the time? What's the attraction?

In fact, the only thing I have liked was Voodoo Chile. Not a recording, but a midi file played through a Soundblaster AWE 64 soundcard on SUSE Linux 6.3 with whatever drivers came with the OS. It sounded deliberately out of tune but not dischordant at all and I friggin' pissed myself laughing when it started playing.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:59, 5 replies)

The Rubber Band
I don't know what it is about the Rubber band, but every time I try to snap my fingers with them, it hurts.

On a completely different note - I swear if you put them on when you're having sex? It detracts from the experience, you can't feel a damn thing.

Just the worst band ever really.
( Allisade would love to hear from you, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:57, 2 replies)

Can someone explain the popularity of The Grateful Dead using more than three letters?

( RRNot is a miserable sinner, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:53, 4 replies)

Also U2
I cannot understand why they are so popular, their music is shit, their lyrics are shit, yet all our radio stations (as in every time they have a top 100 or something) would have us believe that they play the best stuff in the world. Bullshit.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:51, Reply)

U2
(and I hate this phrase) 'nuff said.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:48, Reply)

Some 20 years ago
I used to compete in drag racing at Willowbank, near Brisbane. After one meet they decided to have "Live Band". I can't remember this band's name, but they were the worst band I have ever heard, they looked shit, tried very hard to look like rockers of the 80's. The lead singer/guitarist, if you call him that, wore an old overcoat, all the while playing, and singing out of tune. The were so bad that the whole crowd sat on the other side of the mound that formed the seating back then. There was quite a good crowd at the drags (which had finished by this time)but they played to no-one.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:48, 2 replies)

Beatles
boring Oasis cover band.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:16, 3 replies)

Middle-of-the-road-average-pop-mediocrity-valium-for-the-soul
This is getting quite difficult to narrow it down to a Singular Band. I've already seen entries for Lighthouse Family, Hothouse Flowers, James, Crowded House. I'd also like to add Spiritualised, Divine Comedy, Dodgy, eurrghh. Pop based around the idea that it is engineered to sound best played softly in the background at dinner parties...
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 31 Dec 2010, 0:13, 3 replies)

Can't believe i'm the first to air my hatred of (grits teeth) fucking meatloaf
The hairs are standing up on the back of my neck already.What is the point of this fat, sweaty, greasy knuckle dragger . Every single track sounds the same.
Lets make up some stage show tunes and then claim to be a serious music legend.
He reminds me of the sort of kid that was a school bully that went on to receive some almighty batterings in adult life purely because he deserves them.
I probably need to sort myself out but every time he comes on the radio, i must, and do, turn it off.


Mind you he still only comes in at no 3 on my all time hated singles list behind
2 American pie.
1 Bohemian Rhapsody
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 23:41, 5 replies)

Has anyone posted this yet?
www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000570.php Incredibly awful, incredibly funny, and pretty much sums up everything that's bad about pop singers trying to "revamp" traditional songs.

Also, I don't like the Beatles. I just find their music rather bland, and I dislike the fact that whenever I state this opinion I get a dross of arguments about the MESSAGE and the ERA and so on. Context does not mean the music's intrinsically good, if you listened to it with no idea of what was going on at the time would it have the same effect? Saying that, they're not the worst band ever.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 23:14, Reply)

James.
They're the musical equvalent of beige.
(Barry Chuckle's Moustache, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:36, 1 reply)

I used to hate Jennifer Lopez's music
I took it for cynical over-produced shit pushed by industry types keen to cash in on her movie star fame, looks, and conspicuous wealthy lifestyle.
Then I realised I was actually being fooled by the jewellery that she possessed, and deep down she still had genuine roots in the community from which she was raised and this gave her authenticity
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:36, 4 replies)

MUSE (nowadays)
They used to be really good, releasing at least two really solid albums of innovative abrasive prog-tinged hard rock that stand out as two of the best rock albums of the 21st century: Origin of Symmetry and Absolution.

Then I saw that they had released the song "Starlight", an offensively banal piece of saccharine tripe that sounded like the mutant unwanted love-child of Keane and Take That.

Since then they have released nothing absolute carp. Their last album was pure self-indulgent, self-parodying camp-as-Christmas tomfoolery. They now sound like queen. And bewilderingly/depressingly they have subsequently become more popular than ever.
( Fitznicely into a thimble, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:27, 1 reply)

Arctic Monkeys
Shitty band with a shitty vocalist that instigated the rise of many other similarly shitty bands.

Fuck off, Arctic Monkeys.
(Nuclear Spoon, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:21, Reply)

In most case it's not really the music I detest.
I hate bands for all sorts of reasons. Being massively overhyped for instance. (Nirvana) Inspiring horrible music for most of the next decade (Nirvana) Having a twat of a frontman become worshipped as a Rock God (Nirvana) Being Nirvana.
Weirdly, I still think "Smells like Teen Spirit" is a decent song.

However, The Spice Girls were a shit band who performed shit music, got hyped into orbit to the point where the fuckers were everywhere, inspired the whole "Girl Power" thing-feminism as interpreted by thick chavettes- and had such a hold on the British media that I can only surmise that contracts written in blood and signed by Bill Z Bub were involved.
It says a lot that after all this time I still want them loaded onto a rocket and fired into the sun.
The Black Eyed Peas can take the spare seats.
(Big D, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:09, 5 replies)

Ray LaMontagne
I suppose that it's nice he hasn't let his apparent asthma get in the way of his singing career, but in what way does anyone find this wheezing, whining, and carrying on entertaining?

He combines the worst of stereotypical "sensitive" singer-songwriter, self-conscious white "blues," middle-class alternative lifestyle "hippie," and working class "sympathetic" scruffiness.

His first breakthrough hit sampled a dead blues singer, which was the best part of the song (I've blotted the title from my memory).

The last overplayed song of his is this disaster, a collection of so-called lyrics (they rhyme) that have such cliches as "everybody in this town gets down to a job and wastes their life, but I'm gonna follow my dreams." Yeah, that's never been done before in a song.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6a_1R3w5i4
(ChiTown Guy Dating when 35+: sane, single, attractive - pick 2, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:07, 1 reply)

Pet Shop Boys
They sound like a shitty 10 quid casio keyboard in demo mode.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:01, 2 replies)

Any godawful poppy dance act...
who puts a fuckin 'chipmunk' effect to their vocal parts. Twunts!! And to the twuntier twunts who play said twuntish music aloud on the bus through their phones.....well, they are worse than Hitler.
(El_diablo_blanco, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:00, Reply)

Can we just get this out of the way....
The Rolling Stones are rubbish. The lyrics are poor, the music has nothing to recommend it and everyone but everyone claims to like them, but I fail to see why.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 22:00, 5 replies)