Porn is hilarious sometimes...
just witnessed a video clip where the "director" has asked the girl to talk dirty to the guy.

Her best effort; "yeah that's right, i'm gonna fuck the shit out of your dick"
Really put me off my stroke... so to speak.

You ever heard any ones like that?
( Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:07, archived)

I watch with the sound off

( 72wevad "&#8238;" egassem sdrawkcab a ton si sihT, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:08, archived)

is it not difficult to follow the plot then?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:08, archived)

What plot?
Edit: I don't watch them long enough to find out if they have a plot :(
( 72wevad "&#8238;" egassem sdrawkcab a ton si sihT, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:10, archived)

i like the cut of your jib!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:10, archived)

thats some fine jib cutting there!

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

You know, it's important to know WHY to repair man is there.
And who's that other chick? A flat mate?

These are important details.
( SpoonMeiser, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:11, archived)

And porn pearls like this would be lost without sound..
.. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcUIHZUwxiQ
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:15, archived)

"To view this video, please verify you are 18 or older by logging in or signing up." :(
I don't have an account
( 72wevad "&#8238;" egassem sdrawkcab a ton si sihT, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

well this looks like a perfectly normal situation for me
I like my mask, I think it looks cool
(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:18, archived)

That is awesome.

( SpoonMeiser, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:20, archived)

*snort*

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:22, archived)

I don't watch porn films with plots.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:10, archived)

I can't watch pron with the sound offq.
I also hate crappy music.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:13, archived)

I'm so glad I don't watch things like that
it sounds ridiculous
( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:08, archived)

weally weally howwid

( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

you behave yourself :P

( Jadeviper was still alive on, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:17, archived)

witnessed tugged my veiny member off to
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:08, archived)

Any 'film' where the director/guy behind the camera WILL NOT SHUT UP
is really fucking shit.
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:08, archived)

Yeah i fucking hate that cunt Attenborough

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:08, archived)

Pfft.

( ArthurTheRat, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:09, archived)

Which pornos has he directed?
Or starred in? *shudders*
( Druid, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:10, archived)

Gorillas In The Minge
Life In The Geezer
...
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:11, archived)

Hahahaha
You bastard

You forgot The Sordid Life Of Plants
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:13, archived)

Blue Planet

( Hankster, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

10/10

( Druid, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:17, archived)

Pfft
Subtle sir
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:17, archived)

"And here we see the female
bending over to receive the male. The male is giving the unmistakable courting call of 'Oh baby, yeah, yeah, right in your pussy, yeah, uh, uh, you like that? You like more of that?'"
( Druid, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:15, archived)

I hate the word pussy.
I feel like shouting 'It's your fucking CUNT you stupid cow' at the screen.

This can spoil the moment somewhat.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:23, archived)

some weird shit with elephants and giraffes
I wasn't too impressed to be honest
( Malaka omdz, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:11, archived)

Brighton Cock?

( Lord Gnome, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:15, archived)

that was his brother

( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

That would be Attenborough's brother- Attenborough would it?
Still a valid answer to the question.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:18, archived)

Erm... no

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:08, archived)

I hate porn.
The kind of girls who will readily give it up for the whole internet to see don't tend to be the prettiest.
I don't fancy eating trucker's cum out of the pussy of 'the girl of my dreams'.
The girl of my dreams, I'm putting up on a pedastal. So I can do nasty, nasty things to her.
( ArthurTheRat, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:09, archived)

and the guys certainly aren't the most hygenic

(Sonny Von Bastyrd I think I'll have myself a beer, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:10, archived)

You sir, are quite obviously looking at the wrong sites

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:10, archived)

Most high streets have better, admittedly.

( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:11, archived)

I wish my local high streets were like yours.
/visits higher class porn sites and lives in the downs-mong capital of england
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:12, archived)

I was most assuredly *not* talking about any high street within a mile of here
With the possible exception of Muswell Hill.
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:13, archived)

the japanese stuff just creeps me out
I always think ... this girl's parents must have had such high hopes for her, she could have been a brain surgeon or a physicist or a web developer, something worthwhile and valuable to society

instead, here she is stuffing a baby octopus up her clunge while a fat bloke has a wee on her
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:11, archived)

Why *do* Japanese porn stars have such tiny cocks?
Is it so that other Japanese men will think they're hung like trees?
( Gizmo.mp3 does not exist, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:12, archived)

nature is cruel sometimes

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:13, archived)

It's all that bonsai
they don't just do it to the topiary.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:13, archived)

Japanese and Chinese men have small cocks in general.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:14, archived)

As do Asians
*goes to Japan to feel like a MONSTER*
( Hankster, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:15, archived)

Ahhh. Skinny blokes. You are indeed blessed.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:27, archived)

Apparently
All Japanese men are like that.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:14, archived)

all japs/chinks/etc have tiny cocks.
I lived with a bunch last year and saw their washing, they wore childrens undies.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:21, archived)

*clicks*

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:13, archived)

also, i think my woman is fucking fit
and no one on the site seems to complain...
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:22, archived)

Needs more
"Hey I'm feeling a little wired, how about I go back to your place and you let me eat your pussy?
(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:10, archived)

SHARK ATTACK 3 FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIN!

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:12, archived)

^this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1XOfHax6Q8
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

"Drop and LOAD baby"
From a pron stud just before he spluffed his load on some bints face .

It put me right off, and I went and had a cup of tea instead.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:12, archived)

Before being made redundant
as one of Virgin Media's testers, my brother had to watch various channels and programmes to made sure they were being broadcasted properly. This included porn.

This particular plot involved the build-up to a wedding.
The bride-to-be has just had naughties with the best man.
"That was amazing!" she exclaims.
With a smarmy coolness, he replies "Honey, that's why they call me the best man."
/100% trufax
( ArthurTheRat, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

shoot your muck in me
was said to me rather alot in a previous relationship, it seemed wrong





i liked it
( mongychops, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

Much better idea.
He should have said "GERONIMO!"
( Druid, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:17, archived)

This:
www.youporn.com/watch/33280 (NSFW)
(empty_personality, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:14, archived)

ZOMG!

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:15, archived)

ahaha!

( Devil Duck: ( ' )< and his cunning stunts, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:16, archived)

I remember that site
Edit: What is the point in that video?
( 72wevad "&#8238;" egassem sdrawkcab a ton si sihT, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:18, archived)

Well, I know how I'm spending next bonfire night now.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:25, archived)

"make a wish"
spluffs
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 23:18, archived)