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I need the most offensive Welsh jokes you can think of please...
I can't access Sikipedia at work, and I want to teach a racist little madam how to offend a minority with STYLE.

Kthnkbai
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:09, archived)
What d'you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in wales?
A leisure centre.
(I helped save b3ta! TY&GN, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:09, archived)
I would have said Torchwood myself.

(I helped save b3ta! trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:09, archived)
GWEN! I'm bumming an Alien! Innit!
/repeat ad nauseum
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
Yes. That is exactly what happens on Torchwood.
Well done.
(__, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
Thanks Friz
*jumps up and down like a happy clown*
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:14, archived)
WOW!
A touchy geek - that's got to be a first on b3ta
(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:15, archived)
Touchy?
I was telling him he was right!
(__, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:16, archived)
Exactly! Friz is delightful!

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:16, archived)
Oh,
I do appologise dear chap, it looked like sarcasm. I think I should put my reading glasses on.
(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:18, archived)
Mmm!
Then take them off again for a damn good thrashing!
(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)
LOOK!! THE MAIN CHARACTER IS GAY!
WE'RE BREAKING NEW GROUND!

HE'S GAAAAAAAAY!!!!1

WATCH! HE'S ABOUT TO HAVE AN ONSCREEN KISS WITH ANOTHER BOY! A FIRST FOR SCI-FI!!!11

HE'S GAY!!!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
I've never understood...
why those Bt commercials had to begin with that woman getting a divorce and then a younger boyfriend?

What's that all about?! Could they not have already been married?!
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:18, archived)
They're creating the family that everyone can connect with.

(I helped save b3ta! TY&GN, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
Because it's, like, a reflection on modern society, yeah?
And by introducing the characters like that, yeah, they're showing they're, like, down to earth with social trends, yeah?
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
Ahhh....
*understands*
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)
Because the adverts then focus
on his trials and tribulations of trying to get on with her children.
(Psycho Eyes, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)
You just give them loads of money don't you?
Kids love money, I've come to realise.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
^this
if they were hid kids... he could easily resort to beating the shit out of them if they were being cunts...

but instead its saying that the BT home hub allows soft step-dads be walked all over by demanding children
(likeajackhammer, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
Kris Marshall is LOVELY

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)

LOVELY getting on a bit now
(likeajackhammer, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:23, archived)
He looks crack addled.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:25, archived)
He can addle my crack anytime he likes

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:28, archived)
Oh god

(__, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:34, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aeEyirFjBI&feature=related
(__, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:19, archived)
Actually
he's bi
(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:19, archived)
Actually
As far as I can tell, they'll all fuck anything. I wouldn't be surprised if on the next episode, Gwen's getting bummed by the Pterodactyl, with Toshiko thumbing herself off in the corner.

That said, I do quite enjoy this programme.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
The first series reminded me of
when Hollyoaks used to do those late night specials where they could swear (within reason) and talk about LOLSEX.

Series two is a bit calmer and not solely about who is fucking who
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)
And have hideous massive erections shown in shadow
I still can't sleep at night.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
it's like the cast of Blue Peter trying to do the X Files as a gay porno
seriously, if there wasn't a vague Dr Who tie-in, no one would watch it
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:18, archived)
Except for Barrowman
I have noted he is popular with the male fanciers.
(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:23, archived)
You want to get one over on a racist by being racist?
Nice logic, captain muppet.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:10, archived)
i agree

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:10, archived)
I CONCUR

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:10, archived)
I POOD

(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:15, archived)
Oh Mykey. Save it for people who take you seriously, there's a dear.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:10, archived)
Sorry, im just not sure how you intend to rise abover her racism by being racist yourself.
Please explain for us thickies.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
But I'm not trying to rise above her racism.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
Fair enough then
Carry on with the racism!
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:13, archived)
Well
it works for most "ethnic minorities" - but of course, that's "positive" discrimination then isn't it??!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
she never said she was trying to "rise above" it...
she obviously trying to highlight the point that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...
(likeajackhammer, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:13, archived)
Quite possibly

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:13, archived)
Why not? *throws stones*
*sounds of falling glass*

Oh, I see
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:14, archived)
The Welsh live in glass houses?
There's so much I don't know about other cultures.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:15, archived)
Whilst I agree
There is a little bit of "Hello Black pot? It's the kettle on line one for you"
(I helped save b3ta! trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
Perhaps, but it doesnt invalidate what i said.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
As I said, I agree

(I helped save b3ta! trev Is not interested in your fripperies, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
fatty fatty fat fat.

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
*does wobble dance to your beat boxing*

(likeajackhammer, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
*electric boogaloo*

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
*takes smug cap*
it's xenophobia actually.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
there's a difference between
ignorant bigotry and witty racism.
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:19, archived)

ignorant bigotry picking on the welsh
witty
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
racism is acceptable then?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
no
but it's sometimes funny.
(I helped save b3ta! icklepeach *relurks*, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:23, archived)
Hmmm

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:10, archived)
HOW MANY FUCKING WELSH WANKERS DOES IT TAKE TO RIFLE OFF THEIR FUCKING BOYFRIENDS?
TWAT-NIGGERS!
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:10, archived)
OFF TO THE POPULAR PAGE WITH YOU

(__, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:14, archived)
I feel I could have mentioned Madeleine McCann...
11/9 and paedophilia though for maximum offensivisity.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
9/11,mong face.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:19, archived)
no
because as Stewart Lee quite rightly pointed out, that makes it 9th November
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
9th November?

(__, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
Not in the correct way.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
Correct over here, not in the country it happened in.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:30, archived)
Yeah, but they're only yanks, so fuck 'em.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:36, archived)
Only if you're a fucking yank.
Double mong.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
I bet you feel silly now don't you?!
Noit fucked up the other day too.

You two make a perfect couple.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:24, archived)
IN AMERICA, WHERE IT HAPPENED, THEY HAVE DATES BACKWARDS.
So I did not fuck up. Smart arse.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:29, archived)
Well, you did though.
Cause we're not in America.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:32, archived)
But 9/11 happened in America. And they call it that.
So it's not wrong. It's not just a random date.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:36, archived)
It's 11/9 though.
Really.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:39, archived)
You could try being nice to her instead.

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:10, archived)
This is much more fun.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
I don't believe you.

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
seriously
it freaks the living hell out of people! Best fun there is.
(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:25, archived)
most bullies are just lonely
why not befriend her.
(I helped save b3ta! Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
I don't even know her!

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
I said BEFRIEND HER

(I helped save b3ta! Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:15, archived)
I DON'T EVEN WORK WITH HER.

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
well
find her then

boo yah
(I helped save b3ta! Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)
I'll be your friend so you stop bullying weak people.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
I'd only bully you.

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:18, archived)
you promise?

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:19, archived)
sprinkles lol

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:10, archived)
Bless.
But no, he's not that bad.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
There was an englishman and a welshman out walking.
They come across a sheep stuck in a fence. Quick as a flash a the welshman has his bags round his ankles and is doing it up the wrongun. The englishman then drops his bags, sticks his head through the fence and shouts "me next!"

wait, shit!
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
RACIST!
BAN WICCA'D!
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
Three men, an Englishman, a Welshman and an African American, in a waiting room of a hopital
Their wives are all giving birth. Eventually, a nurse comes through and congratulates them... they're all fathers of bouncing baby boys.

One problem though.. the babies have all got mixed up. The three men are asked if they can identify their children.

So, they go in the room. Immediately, the Englishman goes and picks up the black baby.

"Excuse me", says the African American "I think you'll find that one is mine"

"Sorry mate" replies the Englishman, "but there's a chance that one of the white babies is Welsh, and I simply can't take that chance"
(__, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:11, archived)
I just mention that they're Welsh,
normally provokes a massive defensive rant without being outwardly offensive yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
I just made this up, so it could be rubbish....
"Is that a turkish kabab shop, or a welsh whore house?"

Because of kababs bieng made from lamb, and the welsh shagging sheep.

Someone can probaly use that as a base for a good one.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:12, archived)
i see the connection... but its not immediately obvious

(likeajackhammer, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:14, archived)
Yeah, use this one Wicca
Confuse the poor cow
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:14, archived)
I'm not sure that's very stylish at all.
Just sayin'.
(I helped save b3ta! Newington, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:13, archived)
It really isn't a very stylish website
or forum. I'm just quite bored, and I want to wind this one up a little bit.

I'm only human Newington, every now and then a little trollish prodding livens things up.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:15, archived)
WHITE PEOPLE - NEHNEHNEH NEEH NEH
BLACK PEOPLE - DOODOODOO DOO DOO
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:14, archived)
I love you, Eddache

(__, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:15, archived)
I love me too

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:16, archived)
End every sentence with...
"but at least I'm not Welsh."
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:14, archived)
This one.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:16, archived)
rape her with a bag full of coal

(I helped save b3ta! Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:14, archived)
or a male voice choir

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
from Bridgend....supply her with suicide pills

(Ghost Batty Rider, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
There's no style in using her own disgusting little tactics
you silly Lancashire twit.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:16, archived)
lol northernwogs

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:16, archived)
I don't want it to really have any style, that was a figure of speach
I simply want to watch her splutter and try to reclaim her moral high ground.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
i see what you did there

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
Via the magic of internet, I bring you
IPHONE MONG

Gilgy, I believe you owe me a betitted mong.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:16, archived)
I can't see it.
And you are evil.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
Gah.
It shows for me. You might just be rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
It's the rubbish work internet.
MMS it to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:19, archived)
I can't, it's not on my phone.
It's on the iPhone, which has no MMS.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
hahahaha
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

he's delighted :D
(I helped save b3ta! Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
It's a paper iphone he's holding as well.
He was exceptionally happy at this.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:18, archived)
Looks like the older version of
BOY GENIUS
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:18, archived)
Hahahahaha
oh dear oh dear oh dear.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
That's not a proper mong.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:19, archived)
HE WAS.
He was waving his arms about like a right spax before that.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
HURRAH!

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
oh you bugger
I'm on it
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
He's so happy !
I'm so pleased for him !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:23, archived)
You're evil. :(

(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:26, archived)
Why is there no Welsh representation on the UK flag?
Because even Union Jack is ashamed of the Welsh.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:17, archived)
They wanted to have their fucking red dragon in the middle.
The pricks.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:20, archived)
Any joke for which the punchline is "... Aberfan"
is a guaranteed vote-winner.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:19, archived)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
ABERFAN, MOTHERFUCKER.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)
Damn right.
It's big, it's black and it fills kiddies cracks Aberfan, Aberfan...
:D
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)
Which small village in Wales contains the most Swedish pop music enthusiasts?

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:21, archived)
What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse?
Taffy apple.

What's brown and pink and comes out of a sheep's arse?
A Welshman's cock

What is the one thing that you can't get in Wales?
Virgin wool
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:22, archived)
I should be at the fucking George dropping shit like that

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 14:23, archived)