I need a poo
this happens to me every day !

When will it end !?!?!?!?!?!?!
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

When you become sick of Bob Todd sitting under you with her mouth open while you go.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

That's a beautiful image right there.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Ewwww

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

Royal Doulton are considering using it for a range of tableware

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

I'd shit in her mouth
in exchange for a go on her tits.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

Is she strumming herself while he drops the kids off?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

Yes
With cacky brown fingers
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

No
She's asexual. Her clit is neglected and unloved, it sits forlorn under a huge blackberry bush.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

I'd forgotten about that

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

They wont be ripe till August

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

Do asexual people not wank then?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

What porn would they watch?

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Pug

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

Not everyone needs it.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

Wooo check out Mrs Wow
Showing off with her "auto-aquaplane" mode.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

All I have to do is hear the first two bars of Ace of Spades

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man
You win some, lose some, it's -all- the same to me....
*watches*
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Actually that's 4 bars but never mind.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Point taken, but still what form of sexy inspiration would asexuals use?
Hmm... I must remember to take the bin bags out they're getting a bit whiffy though that might be the bin itself I must make a note to wash that out which reminds me the taps in the kitchen could do with a clean I'll have to pop to the supermarket to get more OH GOD I'M CUMMING!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

Sitting on something vibraty?
I don't know, I'm a porn person.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

I can cure asexuallity with a quick flash of my nudger.
There would be aquaplaning of rare proportions and girly-gloop everywhere.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

I think the point of it
is that you dont have any interest in sex, and as wanking is sort of what people do when they want sex but cant get any, I dont see why they would wank.

I wouldnt know, I like sex.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Surely wanking is what you do
when you've got nothing to do in the office for five minutes?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

It's what I do
when my bitches get uppity and they need some respect jizzed back into their hair.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

they do nothing
LITERALLY NOTHING.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

They only have wet dreams
when they reach their 80's and become incontinent.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

blackberry bush flaming bush

She's a ginner
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:08, archived)

Blond power, sista!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Firebox and PROUD

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

I would describe her as "dull copper" more than "flaming ginge"

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

There's certainly a few dull ginges

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

I've got a few greys now.
I might fall out of this subset.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

*waves*

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

Stand on a pouffe or something
He might be able to see you then.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

When your bum falls off.
And at the rate you talk shite, that shouldn't be too long.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

oOoOOoooOOOooOOooooOOOOoooooo!
*clutches handbag in manner of Vic Reeves*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

lol
I NO
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

i've done two already today
i'm mr productivity
( spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Make the best of it.
Invite Germans round to watch at £90 a pop.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

I do have a glass dining table
Do I win £5 ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

Can you get more than one ruddy head under it?
If so you win multiples of.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

It's a six seater table
I reckon you could get 7 or 8 germans under it at a push.

Not that I want wanking fat krauts in my dining area.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Then I would suggest moving the table.
This time next year, Goaty, you'll be a miwwionaire.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

I guess if I could make about £800 per poo
it might be worth it.

Can I charge extra if my bum bleeds a bit ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

I reckon so
then you could whack a sanitary towel between your cheeks for a bit, and sell that on eBanned.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

You just need to wedge a glass jar up there.

( Cawl, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

£80 to watch
£200 to be the "recepticle"
and £400 to reach up and pick your own.

It's a winner.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

Keep the pickled onions in it,
And you can sell 'em afterwards for a tenner a pop.
( Cawl, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

I know how you can cure this terrible problem

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

Stop eating.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

Or get a colonic every few days

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

i'm not in any position to answer your problem, sorry about that
no offence, great
( mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

eat more cheese
and no fibre.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:28, archived)