a request.
would someone please give back my brain? I can't seem to find it today and I have to finish a major chemistry report for school.

Also - tell me your favourite food. Mine is chocolate and strawberries together.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

Knock knock.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

/sighs.
Who's there?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

FUCK OFF.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

very cheerful.
Do you want some hugs and love? Did your mother not give you any as a child? Poor baby.
/gives great big massive squishy hugs
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

Keep your ugly great moonface away from me.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

your just jealous
that you'll never be allowed near my norks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

They look disadvantaged.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

I think you should make today
"Baldmonkey Pooem Monday"

Let's reclaim Monday, take it back from all these racists.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

HAI BALDERS
How's the clap?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

HELLO!
Long time no see!

How are the bruised on your TITS from where I bounced my GUSHING BALLS off of them?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

Well DG
They were very SWOLLEN and PURPLE, but


actrually fuck this
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Are you pointing at your minge?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

Alex, for you I can be pointing at the other hole

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

Where your colostamy bag was fitted?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

It's ok. I did spunk as I was typing it. your sexytalkymouthwords would have been wasted

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I tend to have that effect on people

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

It actually was a 'Scare-Spunk'
the 3rd and worst stage of being scared. ie.

1)So scared you piss yourself.
2)So scared you shit yourself.
3)So scared you spunk yourself.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

pffft
haha
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

Ah, you're about,
Good stuff.
( Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Hello darling

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

'sup biatch?

( Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

Riding low flo rider stylee
wassup in your hood blud?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

allo Kaol
how goes it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

HAAAijkgfnbhdsghds
mmy keyboardisplayying up. it i
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

this is jolly annoying.
Is my theremin ready?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

It's maturing
It needs to be laid down for a year or so to become full bodied
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

oh no
very advantaged when you think about the fact you'll never touch them :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

Why yes, that was me jogging in my clogs.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

That can't be good for your arches

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

That's what they said to JMG due to his BALDNESS.
OH FIRST JMG CUSS OF THE DAY. *tubber sweats*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

Dude. That was the first time I've logged in to find no JMG
AND YOU RUINED IT
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

That was a great JMG cuss though

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

YM is a great cuss

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

muhahaha!!!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Today it is satsumas
tomorrow, maybe coal.

/pregnant blog
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

Oh yes.
OMGRATULATIONS!
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

Today it is mustard. Tomorrow it will be gurkins and cream cheese.
/also pregnant.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

Congratulations
Is it a brown baby?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

*insert racist joke here*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

Yorkshire puddings.
Or salt and vinegar crunchie sticks.
Or cherries.
Or gin.

Any of those, please.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

You could combine them
gin soaked cherries served inside yorkshire puddings with a side order of crunchie sticks.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

I like a nice roast
or nice pasta,
or good sausages
or cottage pie
or indian food
or dim sum

depends on my mood really but I love food me.

/I'm not fat.

EDIT IT'S MY B3TADAY MUTHAFUCKERS
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

Get a fucking icon then

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

hello stranger

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

How you doin?

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

good thanks,
it's my birthday on sunday woooo
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

Wooo
Are you having jelly and ice cream and cake a really really really big balloon?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

I'm having a fancy dress party at my flat,
it should be good, there's a bank holiday the next day so it's going to be super cool .
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

I'm tempted to make some Vodka Jelly though.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

vodka jelly with brandy ice cream

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

*considers*
My parents do have an ice cream maker that I could borrow...
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

It is an excellent combo

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

AND WE'RE ALL INVITED!
But the thing is we have to come as other people, dressed up as the usernames and then we can all guess who everyone is supposed to be and then baldmonkey collects everyone's keys.

YEAH
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

you can come if you want and you can get to milton keynes.
you're one of those internet people that I wouldn't mind my real life friends meeting.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

I can only assume she hasn't jumped on you unexpectedly yet.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

no not yet,
I always expect the unexpected though, so she'd have a hard time.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

For some reaon when I get drunk, I always decide to jump on al
I'm not entirely sure why.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

That's actually very sweet :)
Sadly I will actually be in Hastings, which is piss miles from anywhere
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

Hastings is a really shit place to be
I feel sorry for you.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

I'm still angry at you for blowing off paintballing to lick out your sister

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Hastings is rubbish,
but oh well, I'll probably see you on the 30th in London.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

YEAH
That is totally in my diary. The hilarity.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

It will be awesome,
I will be drunk,
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

It's always fun to seperate the normals from the socially challenged at these kind of events

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

I'm going to make fun of the /boarders
and the mouth breathers
and the fats
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

not really I'm too polite for that,
but I'll be thinking it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

We'll both be really polite to their faces
then snigger behind their backs all night. In a most english way.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Why?
Donations are voluntary, not compulsory.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

Mine is in 5 days. 6 years. Will be away for it so no naked pictures

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

happy b3taday old chap

( spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

thankyou

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

PISS AND ONIONS
WITH PISS ON TOP
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

Balsamic dogs piss ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

I might make up a label and stick a bottle of that on a shelf in Waitrose
some arsehole would buy it
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I did have your brain but I traded it down the pub, sorry :S
I now have got a grumpy cat with a sick on its back, I rubbed it in a bit and it's meowing at me deepy. I'll put that in instead.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

ta.
it'll be better then nothing!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

MAAAAAOOOOOW

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

I don't have your brain
So I can't give it back, sorry.

What sort of chemistry are you doing?

My favorite food is probably cheese, but I sort of have to say that. I work in a cheese shop.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

Doing Chemical Bondage (fnarr), Empirical and Molecular Formulas
Balancing chemical Equations, Naming and Describing Chemicals

all in one big smooshed up report. It's evil *sads*
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

Does it explode?
If it doesn't explode then it's not science.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

What if you freeze and shatter stuff?
/has access to liquid Helium
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

You should freeze and shatter your supervisor's lunch.
I would be using it to turn the office furniture into superconductors myself.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

Yes
we were asploding powders.

I got blow up Aluminium and Iodine with water :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Superb
It makes a lovely purple gas, so this is good science
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

I know.
I made it go spazzy cos I made *way* too much and then heated the water and it cracked the crucible and went EVERYWHERE! There's a scorch mark on the bench! *very prouds*
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

I love tying those filthy chemicals up.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

That sounds so dull!
On fnarring at chemistry, I once had a module a long time ago titled 'Chains and Rings' which always sounded a bit grubby to me.

Good luck with the work though!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

that sounds way kinky.
Ta!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Sadly it was in no way kinky.
It was organic chemistry, taught by a man who was about 5'5 and had a terrible body odour problem. In no way arousing.

Unless you get off on short smelly men of course.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

no. I don't.
God. If I'm ever a female version of that guy shoot me. And shoot me quick.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

I have a degree level physics exam today.
If we were playing top trumps I'd have won your card.

although it's business skills, and a piece of piss
and it's not an exam, it's a class test
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:18, archived)

I have a conservation and population genetics exam tomorrow
Three hours of unspeakable dullness.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

Starting tomorrow morning, I'll be spending 3 hours a day in the library, and 3 hours in my revision office (read "kitchen").
I've planned 33 hours of revision for one module and 32 for another. they're both double modules and probably the most important exams I'll ever take (literally, if I do bad, no Ph.D)
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:23, archived)

I'm realising I should have done more revision for this one.
It is 100% exam based, no coursework to save me if I cock up in the exam.

Good luck with your exam today though.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

Ta :)
and you yours.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

I have your brain. I need it more; I have a translation exam this afternoon.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

but I don't know any other languages!

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Chocolate and strawberries are a crap combination. Raspberries go MUCH better with chocolate.
I'd have to say Indian food or Sunday/Christmas lunch.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

Curry and Chocolate?!?!? EEWWW D:

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

Gruel and suet.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:22, archived)

Yesterday I made chocolate-coated strawberries
Nom nom nom
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:26, archived)

I quite like Soreen.
A bit of malt loaf aloft a mountain.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Oh yes
and that Jamaican Ginger Cake which sticks to your teeth
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

Oooh
Try slicing that Jamaica ginger cake up, and layering it a dish, covering it with custard and bake it in the oven.

/foodblog
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

bestestcake
with a glass of win

i want breakfast
( spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

I read that in a South Effriken accent

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 10:40, archived)