Yesterday I got stopped by the business end of an AK47 & searched by a soldier.
He found my knife but was after guns. Later on I got sunburn.

Did anyone get sunburn yesterday?
(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

it was pissing it down here

( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:54, archived)

Lucky thing.
It hasn't rained here for about 6 weeks.
(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

I think we're sending it your way as we havent had sunshine in that long
We're meant to have a scorcher of a weekend though.
( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

BBC says no
Friday: light showers, max temp 13c
Saturday: cloudy, max temp 13c
Sunday: sunny, max temp 14c. Well, woohoo!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

20'C for monday though

( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

It won't be at 5 in the morning when I'm at work
Edit/ and how long has Monday been weekend?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

Bank holiday
it counts
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

Fucks sake, not again
You lazy cunts make me puke.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

yeah and people who work in the railway industry
are notoriously dilligent.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

We have to be when we've got 300 gormless spastics who want their arses wiping for them.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Why did nobody tell me you do that?
I've been missing a trick, obviously.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Theses are trying times

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

Bank Holiday
It automatically becomes a weekend day, if it were to be counted as a weekday then the fabric of the space-time continuum would come unravelled or something.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

No, but it was beautiful
It's even more beautiful today but I'm back at work, tarnation.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:56, archived)

I did not, although I may do on Monday with the band photoshoot.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

I fail to see
how it can top this band photo.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

An even number of tits, perhaps.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

Good response.
And I'm not just saying that because you're a girl and mentioned the word tits.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

Thank you very much.
I'm going to be even less funny for the rest of the day. Brace yourselves.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

you're meant to just click posts where girls mention tits
not reply to them
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

SHUT UP
I like it when people talk to me.

Actually, don't shut up. Talk. This is very much the time and place.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

but he's doing the interntet wrong

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

Wrong can be good.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

not on the internet,
it's very clear cut.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

The internet is full of wrong is good.
PORN for example. Well, niche.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Porn is very right.
Unless it's weird stuff like girls kissing each other. Bleugh!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

Or the ones with music

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

Or the ones with actual intercourse

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

I prefer the porn where they just talk about the weather
And possibly lunch
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

via an internet forum

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

I have to limit myself on here otherwise I spooge manglue too much

( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

This calls for high-class British porn from Family Guy.
"You know Margaret, we could be having sexual intercourse right now."
"Yes, yes we could."
"Yes, but let's not."
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

I think the rule is to reply to any post made by a confirmed female
That way they may have some online sex with you, or something.

I'm not sure about all the rules.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

What are you wearing?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

Anything you want, baby
FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR AN HOUR
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

*checks bank balance*
:(
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

It's pay day.
I'll buy you five minutes.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

That'll be 41.67 please
Pleasure doing business with you.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

A bargain.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

It's my birthday on Sunday
you could buy me an awesome present.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

What do you want?
You want a pint, don't you?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

Actually a decent costume idea that begins with R
and doesn't make me look very stupid and is easy to make would be a great early present
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Racist.
Dress up as Alf Garnett.

I'd go as Raping Ron if I were you. All you need is a string vest, a big stick and a leer.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

My younger cousins are going to be there
and I refuse to accept they will find that funny
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Christ.
Ryan Giggs? Afro wig and a football strip?

Rambo. Sod it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Thank you for your ideas
I'll keep them in mind, but it'll boil down to what bits and pieces I can find to buy at the weekend.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Good luck, poppet.
OH ACTUALLY get a bin, cut a hole in it for your head and go as Rubbish.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

Ronald Reagan
Put on a suit and act like a jabbering mental patient
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

Rowdy Roddy Piper
Ronald Reagan
A Robot
The colour 'Red'
A Radish
Robert Winston
Randall from Randall and Hopkirk, Deceased
( Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

I suppose you think posting photos of used toilet paper is big and clever don't you?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

I do hope you will be following band photoshoot procedure
by having it taken in front of a wall (possibly by disused railway tracks) with one band member looking away from the camera.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

Up a hill is where we're going.
This hill:

images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&um=1&sa=1&q=coombe+hill+buckinghamshire&aq=f&oq=

I'm not looking away, I've got a big nose. Face on for me, I feel.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

will you be incorporating the monument?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

It's an inevitability.
There's lots of different spots up there though, some woody bits, some bushy bits, so we've got some scope.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

Or jumping in the air so people think
"Fuck! They're so rock, they're just jumping in the air with energy. The power of music has granted them levitation abilities. We can only be humbled by this sight."
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

'How does being masturbated over by 13 year olds make you feel?'
Yeah, as expected. Not funny in the slightest.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

HAWT

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

If you were a member of Busted that would please me greatly.
Three CBBC presenters and Bernard Black.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

My uncle manages McFly
I hope this hot info helps.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

I prefer them to Busted.
My uncle doesn't manage anything except decomposition, and even then we're not sure how good at it he is.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

I know
he's never turned up for a review meeting.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

Are you the Zombie King?
I would offer to photoshop this (I make people into zombies) but you'll say no.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

You make people into zombies?
*backs away*
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

You're always backing away from me. I'm not going to bum you.
Yes, photoshoppery style. I'm not overly shit at it.

img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/fffff.jpg
img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/thomwithpersonality.jpg
img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/Palinbig.jpg
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

if you can do something with that photo in my profile please do,
I used be good at the potatochoppery.

*pimps 30 FPs*
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

I've never got one, I'm not funny with it.
The photo's a bit small. I'll have a bash over the weekend.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

You should change your name to monkeon
Even unfunny stuff gets FPed then
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

*handbag*
:D
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

Some of his stuff is good I won't deny that
And it's not like I come up with anything better :P
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

Monkeon is without doubt one of the funniest posters on b3ta
and he's been churning it out for years.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:01, archived)

I don't see him about as much any more.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

'sup Captain
How are you today?

Have I missed anything in the last 3 days?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

Dunno, I've only been back for one
I was off being well ill.

I'm alright. SHATTERED and now with less PMT, so I won't flounce today, hopefully. You?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

Dizzy and tired but back at work *grumble*
I have also been off sick but at least it's pretty much over before the weekend :D
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

Exactly!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

I fucking hate genuine illness
I've spent the best part of the last 2 1/2 days semi-conscious with TNG Season 6 in the DVD player. I feel like I haven't slept since last weekend :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

At least you had TNG on though.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

I was asleep through most of it :'(
I did see Jumper for the first time though, it almost put me to sleep, talk about a non-story. The concept could have made an amazing film...
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

No as I was outside for about 15 minutes
And then it was all rainy when I came home from work.

Where the hell do you live?
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

Shit, i didn't realise my external HDD was FAT32 and not NTFS
That's the day ruined.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

oh noes
just format it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

Marib at it's best

( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

Yep, great days especially as the pool is shut because someone died in it last week.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

Marib Hotel?

( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

nah, the one on site

(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Which concession are you on?

( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

now moving onto 10a

(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Lovely
Deep in the heart of Dixie. Find any good fossils or arrowheads yet
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

Dixie - like it!
Got a small collection of ancient stuff. Now I need to find someone who can give me the history of the items.
(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:48, archived)

did they find the droids they were looking for?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

Knowing where he is working
And probably which checkpoint he was going through as well it is more likely the soldier was out of his tree on Qat and droids were in fact the furthest thing from the dull cunts mind.
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

or because he was out of his mind on Qat
everyone looked like an extra from Star Wars.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

I have to admit
That the area in Yemen in question is most definitely a ringer for Tatooine. Old Marib, which pissflaps can probably see from his hotel is a multi story mud built town which George Lucas probably missed as an option for the first Star Wars because there was a war going on at the time.
Edit: Wrong Hotel
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

yes. some sun burnt my neck. i didnt like it

( mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

great times

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

well i had fun yes, nice day out

( mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

pfft

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Not me.
The people are outdoors. Why would I go out there?
( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:44, archived)