This has just appeared to me on Facebook:
"Soon you will be able to have a username
Starting on 13 June, at 05:01, you'll be able to choose a username for your Facebook account to easily direct friends, family, and coworkers to your profile."

This makes me do a sad face.

What are you whining about?
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

People who whine without bothering to find out the details first.

( GatheredCrustacean, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

If you're referring to me, I have looked at the details.
I still think that it's a shit idea.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

Good for you

( GatheredCrustacean, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

It does seem absolutely pointless.

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

People always whinge about anything that happens on facebook
the thing to remember is, it doesn't matter
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

This is probably the first thing that's actually annoyed me.
Everything else, I liked.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

i don't understand why that is annoying at all
it sounds quite handy really
( scott,, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

Anybody who can use the search system should be able to find you easy
there's no need for usernames really, if they can't use the search tool they probably shouldn't be using Facebook
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

not if you don't use your real name for facebook.
and i still don't see why this is annoying.
( scott,, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

Why wouldn't you use your real name for Facebook?

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

are you serious?
i can't believe people use their real names on there.
( scott,, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

Yeah.
I'm serious.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

so your real name is Karl Hysteria?

( scott,, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

It's something pretty close to that, yes.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

so that's not your real name then?

( scott,, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

No, it's not my real name.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

I KNOW YOUR REAL NAME.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

I thought I did once

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

I'll kill noit if you say it :D

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

Hehe, I won't.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

is it Carl Hysteria?

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

More people know me as NobbyNobody than as Phillip.
The only people who know me as Phillip are people I don't really want to socialise with online anyway.

Although I haven't actually been to facebook for more than a year anyway, so it's all moot.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

Facebook is intended for people you know in real life though
people in real life are going to call you Phillip surely?
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Apart from work
I don't really know anyone in real life.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

oh

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

I don't tend to give out my Facebook.
It's more of a "If you know me, come find me" thing. Giving it a username opens it up so more people can track me down. Online.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

So just dont accept the friend request
it aint hard
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

so don't use the feature then
or make the username something that isn't obvious.
christ.
( scott,, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

but Karl prides himself on having matching social networking usernames

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Oddly, this.

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

Yup, this.

( Zuowan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

^exactly this
i'm currently perplexed at why John Barnes would be such a bad choice as manager of the "blimey, the football" team i support, according to fans on another internet forum

EDIT - LOLFOOTBALL!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

He can teach them the LFC rap.
Just noticed that Swansea have approached Gary Speed to be manager. Mental.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

i can't understand why the press are still referring to his tenure at Celtic as "disastrous" and "catastrophic"
P29 W19 D2 L8 F75 A25

There were some decent results in there too, 5-0, 6-0 and 7-0 against Aberdeen, a 3-0 agg win over Hapoel Tel Aviv and at least 3 4-0 batterings of Hibs/Hearts.

Added to the 9 match unbeaten run from the start of the season, and the 9 match unbeaten run he has just guided Jamaica to.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

Which team is it you support?

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

Tranmere Rovers

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

I see no reason why he can't do a job for them.
He's high profile as well, so has that extra bit of sway for bringing in players.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

presactly!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

And, as I pointed out earlier
he only lives in Heswall so it's dead handy, like.
( in vino veritas, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:51, archived)

he should stick to rapping

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

For some reason I read that as
He should stick to dick slapping
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

there's only one way to beat them
that's get round the back
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

try telling that to Justin Fashanu
oh, wait :(
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

p

I didn't know Sexface's real name was John Barnes
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

i never whine
good as fucking gold me
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Facebook is for dullards

( applehead herp derp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

oh shut up.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

no

( applehead herp derp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

you

( applehead herp derp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

shut

( applehead herp derp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

up

( applehead herp derp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

i12.tinypic.com/4d1pe9z.jpg
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

old skool

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Yeah, but I like it.
We should be able to post pictures on this board.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

I like it too.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

Did you create it?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

No, why?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

Then there are at least three people who still like it.
Me, you and its creator, who must realistically be 106 by now because it's as old as the internet.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

lololol

( applehead herp derp, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Heh

( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

the pain in my pancreas.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

I don't know what you're moaning about, you can live without a pancreas
probably
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

that sounds like a george formby song

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

I really fancy a glass of whine

( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

red, white or blase?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

Can I interest you in a Laisez Faire '95?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

i think i'm about to get a semillon.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

No thanks, I'm currently drinking 'Australian Wine'.
It's actually called that. £3 from tesco.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

It is well vintage, innit.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

Quite...
*puffs on pipe*
*cleans monocle*
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

what a result!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

I drank damn near a box of that Sunday night.
Bad times.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

There's nothing that screams class,
quite like wine from a box.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Boxes of wine are dangerous
I can't go near red zinfandel any more 'cos I used to buy it by the box & drink far too much of the stuff. At least with bottles you can see how much you've drunk...

*edit* I meant white zinfandel
( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Yeah, they're dangerous.
Bad, drunk times.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

When the box is empty
that means you've drunk too much.

Afterwards, you can remove the foil-like inside, inflate it, and use it like a pillow. Top tip there.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Can I have all 3 mixed in a glass with a slice of lament please

( broadsword, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

My fridge-freezer being broken.
It's a good excuse to have a whinge.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

Absolutely nothing at the moment

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

Actually no, all these annoying bugs/midges that flew in my room when I had the window open
they keep landing on my screen
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

switch the vacuum cleaner on and put the nozzle next to the screen
it will act as a rather effective (if not intrusively loud) extractor fan
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

If people weren't trying to sleep I would do that

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

Make Noit move to Ireland for me.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

What's wrong with Northam.... oh, right.
I'll do what I can.
( WHARRGARBL, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

where will you be going?

( scott,, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

Immigration?
Tempt him with lovely Guinness and horse racing. Ask him to marry you.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

Hahaha, I want him to move here, not run away.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

I thought you already moved to England.
*confused*
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

I did.
I am currently on holiday at home, in Ireland, and would like Noit to move here, with me, as I much prefer it here.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

But the rain.
Oh God, the rain.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

And the roads.
Oh God, the roads.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

And Dublin.
Oh God, Dublin.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

Not much more than Northampton, to be fair.
And the sea is near here.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Ah.
I'd like to live in Ireland but I don't think I could live without snakes.
I'd really miss the snakes.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

You could be a reverse pied piper
but with snakes instead of rats.
( magnum, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

I could take them all to Ireland
on a goddamn muthafukkin' plane.
Muthafukka.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

You could have pet snakes.
Snakes are cool. You're allowed have pet ones, like.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

Won't Saint Wossisname come along and
CAST THEM OUT?
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

I suppose he does that by speaking in forked tongues.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

No.
Probably not.
( NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

:(

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

haha
aww
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

THERE!
you do post! i am paying particular attention, because i can't remember anything you post, but you are at the top of the stats.
that is dedication you see.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

:(((((
And after all the counselling I gave you through your recent hard times. I am wounded, Gobbo.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

he is having a tough time, your no dave the hat or captain wow

( mongychops, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

i don't know how i'll get through this mongy.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

I pray for your pancreas.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

pray to St Pancras.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

I did a bit of an offline sadface at this.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

b3ta.com/board/9508702
( epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

not much, actually.
certainly nothing as trivial as that.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

oh good, i'm going to set mine to iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAABkAAAAHCAIAAAByV3HfAAAAAXNSR0IArs4c6QAAAEdJREFUKM+t kdsKADAIQnP0/7/s3kSCGmPzqZsHoQgTyWNLUkXZpqYA3NO1RU5cXYrB0ynjXgCE9vj5AirE5Ucz Qv758s8fNzQDSuTOeaAoAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC
i've done my homework, i have beer, this is good
( spacefish bong!, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

I'm going to set my alarm so I can have the username 'cuntface'

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

there are many things i could whine about
i am choosing not to think about the many cunts i hate as i prefer my sunny happy disposition
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)