Good luck kid.
Good luck.
( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

Aww, bless him.
I'm not very well and I can't go home because I've forgotten my keys.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

If you stick it out, people will think you're a hero.

( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

I doubt it, but I shall take your optimistic approach.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

+ willingly accept your lurg as it is HERO LURG

( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

What's up?
I bet it's nothing a great big greasy bacon and egg sarnie wouldn't solve.

With runny yolk oozing out of the side when you pick it up.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

That does sound lovely.
You don't want to know what's up. Let's just leave it as 'got a dicky tummy'.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

Up the duff?
Say no more.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

Better not be.
Does it give you the squits?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

Dunno, never been pregnant.
I'm saving myself.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

Yup.
I was pregnant once, I had terrible gas.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

a fartbaby doesn't count, you know DG.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

We gave our precious brown baby a burial at sea.
RIP BABY POO, U WID DA DOLFINZ NOW
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

pfft :D

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

D':
YOU'RE HORRIBLE TO ME! anyway, if it doesn't count then what's in this jar hmmmm??? *opens it up and offers towards you* His name is Stephen.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

*eyebrows fall off*

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

He needs burping
*burps in the jar and screws top back on*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

:( *hugs but not too hard*

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

:) ta lovely

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

IBS
or The Grudge
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

I've had IBS for ages, it doesn't usually give me that sort of result...

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

IBS and The Grudge is a terrible thing

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

what the fuck is the grudg... oh, i geddit.
Girls are gross.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

ITS THE CURSE.

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

personally i LOVE bleeding out of my undercarriage.

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

Serves you all right.
HUSSIES, THE LOT OF YOU
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

If Adam ate the apple then we'd all be having dickbabies. Thank fuck for that...hahaha silly women, I don't need a pad to go jogging and play tennis.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

Just a tenalady. Or one of them adult nappies.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

*Sloshy backhands*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

*lobs one deep into your backcourt*

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

*tucks balls until pockets*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

"URRRRGGGH, THIS ISN'T MY ROBINSON'S BARLEY WATER"
DONKEY GUUUUUUUUUUUUUMS!
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

heheh I dunna squash inta sum water

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

Has your undercarriage been tested and approved?
If not then I'm afraid I'll have to inform the CAA
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Oh, BS, my tummy feels like
There's a maypole practice going on with my intestines.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

I don't envy you :(
My database lecturer was a morris dancer and he looked like a spitting image of Gene Wilder
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

yolk sperm
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

why on earth would there be sperm in a breakfast sandwich?
that just doesn't make any sense now, does it?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

cant you go home and break in?

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

I have no money at the moment
so no money to replace windows...
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

When's the big day Jobey?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

She rejected me :(
I spent all my pocket money on that rose.
( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

So you're going to have to go back to that other bird you proposed to then?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

dawww

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

If it was a pug then he would have been well in.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Or an axe

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

or a pug dressed as a medieval executioner

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

She looks like Angelina Jolie a bit there.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

If we're a lezzer I''d fuck her
she's lush.
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

Are you and esme the same person?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

How are we the same person?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

She said 'if we're a lezzer'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

You'll never know Mykey.

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

Ha!
I KNEW IT!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

i don't see it
she has an odd face and is pointy
also, she has weird thumbs, apparently
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Except without the facial prolapse.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

Christ, Danielle Lloyd needs to do her roots.
www.holymoly.com/news/more-pictures-last-nights-transformers-2-premiere-london14872.html?img_id=7
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

roots self some sort of lasting injury.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

Poor girl
www.holymoly.com/news/more-pictures-last-nights-transformers-2-premiere-london14872.html?img_id=8
Someone put her arm on back-to-front.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

Haha.
That guy she's with looks like a right scummer.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

He's a footballer though, innit.
So he's automatically rich attractive
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

She's so ugly,
And more pointless than Paris Hilton.
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

ffs why don't I just go out and buy HEAT magazine?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Because it's shit?

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

oh yeah.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

this is popbitch isn't it?

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

This is free.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Danielle Lloyd needs to not live anymore
the stupid fucking racist bitch.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

haha
mine look that bad at the moment. Luckily no-one expects neatness from me :P
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Has SSG died of cancer yet?

( dotmund .co.uk, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

our brave warrior is still locked in battle with this fatal illness

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

I hope the end comes soon.
I owe him money.
( dotmund .co.uk, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

i'm sure he will beat this horrible so unfair cancer that he has, or not, i'm no doctor, no offence

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

it's just,
you spend your whole life wishing SSG would get cancer, and then when it happens you don't know how best to celebrate
( dotmund .co.uk, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

Show that you care
buy today.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

I'm not getting any of his wretched merchandise
If anything, I wish he had a more aggressive form of cancer.
( dotmund .co.uk, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

hahahaha

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

Hello Jobe

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

Awwwwwwwww bless

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

I don't find Megan Fox attractive.
I may be alone in this opinion.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

She's not that pretty
but she has an awesome body.
( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

Actually I saw a topless picture
it wasn't pretty :(
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

It's the first time I've heard of her,
but I must say I don't think that's a very flattering picture.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

she's prettier than me and i still get attention.

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

*panders dutifully*

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

She's my stunt double when I'm reshooting Mermaids II

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

Not really my cup of tea either.
Or maybe my cup of tea, in that I don't want to fuck a cup of tea.

At least, not right at the moment.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

Wait until it's cooled down a bit first eh?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

"Oh yeah, you like me dunking into you, don't you? Huh? Call me Rich Tea, baby!"
"I'm gonna hobnob your brains out"
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

"It's gone soggy and broken off"

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Am I mad to find her unattractive?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

I don't, particularly.
She's a bit plain for me.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

Plain isn't a bad thing
It's the face like a slapped arse in combination with enough makeup to repaint the ceiling of the sistine chapel
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

There is that
I don't know, I just don't really subscribe to generically pretty. Not often, anyway.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

it looks forced, somehow

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

Mmmm, yeah.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

it's like those dog breeds that were bred to look cute,
but actually they just look a bit weird.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Nothing behind the eyes.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Soooooooo, all conventionally attractive women are vacant thickies then?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

If they slap on so much fake tan & makeup
That their skin becomes some sort of bullet proof composite, I'd say yes
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

I don't know,
having a bullet proof face sounds awesome.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

These points are excellently thought out,
well done.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

what part don't you understand, all women with good looks and fit bodies who are famous are thick as pigshit
and really ugly and too skinny and if they wear make up are probably spotty
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

fat girls are just curvy and natural
not fat and disgusting.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

AND THERE IS NOTHING IN BETWEEN

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

I can imagine the word "celebrity" losing all of its current implications of fame, wealth and popularity
and a career in the performing arts, and instead become a separate breed of humanity. They'll get pedigree certificates when they're born, if both of their parents were celebrities, and eventually people will breed them to be really small and keep them as pets.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

Christ all bloody mighty.
Of course not, just some. Both myself and MGT were talking in generalities (I assume). Lots of people do.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

Yes.
Problem?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

She's pretty
but nothing that special
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

I don't even think of her as pretty
There are lots of quite plain looking people I would describe as being much more pretty
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

there's a lot of women like that in "da meedia" that I think are nice to look at... but I'd not want to fuck...
pretty much like a car... or a mountain...

there's a "high street honey" from where I'm living and I drunkenly informed her that I thought she looked like a troglodyte and her tan made her look like she'd just fallen out the back of an elephant..
(likeajackhammer, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

did she know what troglodyte meant?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

probably not...
It's all a bit fuzzy
(likeajackhammer, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

She thought it was a semi-precious gem

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)