OMG HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS??!
STEVE IRWIN IS STILL DEAD!

My facebook feed is full of people I really shouldn't be friends with - getting comfortable at
opposite ends of the Michael Jackson opinion poll - posting jokes and getting upset in equal measure...

my question? what are you going to do this weekend? I'm going out because it's my birthday on Wednesday - I'm also going sailing
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

I particularly enjoyed this exchange.
www.facebook.com/sam.crawshaw?v=feed&story_fbid=220786990331
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Can't see it.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

It's mine
if anyone wants add me as a friend to see it I'll accept you, you can unadd me after if you want and I wotn' cry or anything but it is amusing.
( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

*does*

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

and done!

( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

YAY

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

I can has mirror?
They've rejigged the company content filter and I haven't bypassed this new one
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

It's sad that he died, but most people started mourning the Michael Jackson we love about 10 years ago

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Totally Pointless
He was still alive 10 years ago.
( turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

By that point he'd turned in to a (alleged) paedophile, plastic surgery obsessed shadow of what he used to be,
Not Michael Jackson.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

But in the Martin Bashir interview
he said that he only ever had one bit of plastic surgery done.
( turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

That's because he thought he looked relatively normal and thought people would believe him.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

yup...
My niece, who is a bit gutted, was born in 1995 and I pointed out all his good stuff was brought out before she was even born
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I can't think of anything after that time at all.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

It's hard to believe that in 100 years time there'll be nothing left of Michael Jackson
but bones and a face :(
(__, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

This almost made me smile.
I've been trying to come up with a good joke based on the elephant man buying Jacko's bones.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

McCartney is planning to swoop in and obtain the rights to Michael Jackson's songs.
Someone else come up with a punchline, as I like the ironic situation but can't think of a conclusion for it.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

He's been quoted as saying "we can work it out"
*runs for the hills*
( BindiBaji, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

Is this the same hubare that criticised me for making attention-seeking threads yesterday?

( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

you are kidding, aren't you?

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

I thought the community as a whole had decided that posting satirical versions of existing shit threads was just as shit.
I really appreciate the interesting and original question designed to start a conversation though, thanks.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

be careful those gravy tears of yours don't clog up your keyboard, petal...

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

Is this the part where the fat person accuses the non-fat person of being fat and or upset online?

( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

If you say so, it must be...
do you want some form of recognition? Shall I make you a badge?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

oh yes please
Can it say

'member of 'people lighter than hubare that have been bullied by food/upset references online by Someone fat from Aberdeen' club'
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

I'll make sure it in an extra small font it fits to your apprently anorexic frame...
anything else?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

can you start a Wormulus is shit club
and hand badges out to all the people that hate me, on the internet.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

what about the people that are indifferent?
do we get badges too?
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I'm glad that you've said you're indifferent.
stating it explicity on the internet in a thread about me is a really good way of proving beyond all doubt that you DON'T CARE ABOUT WORMULUS AT ALL.

well done there.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

OK, INTERNET ANNOUNCMENT!
EVERYONE LOOK AT WORMULUS!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

lets not feed the troll

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

im just a bit tiny bit tired of all the WORMULUS IS SHIT/NOT SHIT/HAS CANCER/YEAH posts.
soz.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

A tiny bit tired?
I'm bored to death by every other post being about how I seek attention or am shit.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

and how many of these posts are mine?

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

yus.
try not replying to it all. see how that pans out.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

I'm a fan of Wormulus.
He's like a likeable version of SexFace.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

nah...
Wormulus is a likeable version of SickRik... who is in turn a less shit version of sexface
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

I'm also a fan of Hubare.
He's Diet JMG, the JMG you can get upset at between meals.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

also 'apparently anorexic'
sorry to burst your bubble (no pun indended)
but not everyone on the internet is roomy, curvy or heavy.

I am what we refer to as a normal, healthy person, capable of clmbing a flight of stairs without assistance and can walk past a fastfood outlet without having a tantrum.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

of course you are, dear
why are you getting so upset at the insinuation? would you like to talk about it? maybe if you tell me about your relationship with your mother
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

oh dear. Turning around a 'hubare is fat' post into a 'you are upset' post.
Oh hubare :(
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

yes... you're right... you're not upset
my mistake. I can't see where I could have garnered that from
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

Everytime I call you fat
I shed a tear.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

You
Signalled the death of b3ta /talk when you registered.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

Hello Bud!
missed you.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

what up, D

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

Ahhh... the voice of reason
how's tricks?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

Yo yo

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

yeah but BUT my big lebowski poster has just arrived

i'm not doing anything much besides relaxing this weekend. got a film night with housemates and friends tonight
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Mow the lawn,
Clean the house,
Wash the car,
Go to the gym,
Party.

Oh, and excitedly waiting for my Nabaztag to arrive, even though I have no internets at home yet because BT are massive bastards.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Work, both Saturday and Sunday.
What do you sail?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

£1 says it's a boat.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

ooohhh... it's a yacht
a sigma33
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

a yacht is a boat.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

I know...
I'm just being facetious
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

Nice,
I used to sail lots when I was a kid, Toppers, Hobie Cats and then I started crewing bigger stuff like Moody 45s.

Whereabouts do you sail from?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

Bangor, Northern Ireland
I'm doing a bit of dinghy sailing on Wed-Fri, i'm a bit top heavy for a topper though... I'm looking to get a hold of a Laser
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

You can pick up a laser for not a lot of cash, good fun too.
I'm a bit of a fairweather sailor, I don't like getting cold and wet!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

with a sail

( turb0t, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Most of the people I have on Facebook are just saying RIP
I think this proves that wiping out the trash was a good idea.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

morning pickle
I agree, very sensible precaution.
I recently had a cull of autistic people from my facebook friends.
:)
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

*counts matches*

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

I bet you were gutted when you tried to subscribe to my 'feed'
only to discover no food was involved.
( WormuIus, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I had to WALK to the corner shop :(

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

I'm going out for dinner and to a casino tomorrow night
as it's my friend's birthday. I'll be so fucking PLEASED when tomorrow is out of the way because no more birthdays until August. YAY. I get a month off from birthdays!

In other news, HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

hello sexpot.
will you celebrate my birthday by taking your top off... I won't be around to see it, but I'll appreciate the sentiment?
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

Well I have my appraisal on Wednesday.
That might not go down too well.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

i beg to differ!

(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

Our guitarist is getting married tomorrow
so we are setting up the gear tonight as we are playing at the reception for a few hours.
And what's the betting some conspiracy theory will appear within a few days.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

every-FUCKING-now and again I fall apart...
please!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

They are getting our set and nothing else.
No doubt there will be a constant barrage of requests from uncles getting more pissed as the night progresses wanting AAggaaado do do and other assorted shyte, but they will be out of luck.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

i just dont know yet.
maybe fishing. maybe drinking. maybe sleeping. perhaps a combination of all three but thats just nuts.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

no, no... that sounds plausible...
I went camping and people basically set up their rods up with line sensors, got pissed, and fell asleep...

they then slept through the high-pitches squealing... I DIDN'T!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

haha losers
i have no alarms yet so no sleeping for rose.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

fishing? but you're a girl
don't be silly
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

my first one...YEAH!
SHARKY
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

Nice Nike product placement there.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

you could learn a bit about sales from me.
take notes.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

Haha, shush.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

Haha, pissage.

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

This weekend I plan to rent Resident evil 5
and complete it on co-op

fun times...
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Great game
But the lack of proper zombies is disappointing :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I shall be serving a function on saturday and cooking a tasting on sunday.
Going to the cinema on monday to see transformers.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

I am going to spend time with my inlaws and my blood family all at one big party - AWESOME!

( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

MUST SCORE CRACK

( broadsword, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I dunno
Mrs vmos is back after being away for a week

I may feed the cat
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

this a prime opportunity to lose the huge fucking vermin.
edit: soz...was a prime opportunity.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

how dare you say that about Mrs Vmos

( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

This weekend,
Celebrating my BIRTHDAY!
Camping!
Going to the gym!
Fixing a computer!

Now it's time for dinner. I'm surprised nobody else has pointed this out.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

but
I've only just had breakfast
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

This weekend Matthew I am going to be Ray Mears
I'm going out into some local woods to source some wood with which to carve a spoon.
( M o D, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

I've got some Chop sauce in my cupboard at home for you

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Huzzah!
I had almost given up all hope
( M o D, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

I shall get it posted

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

Thank you very much
I will of course reimburse you if you gaz me your paypal details
( M o D, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

I don't know, that's ages away.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)