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Following on from some of the comparative b3tan forum banter earlier;
who do you think is the most typical b3tan?

The b3test, if you will.

Show your workings/tits as appropriate.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
Supermatt sums up the internet for me.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
you say the nicest things

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
Actually Turb0t and flatfrog are both worse

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
Thats very kind of him.
Does he walk up to you and say "porn, porn, conspiracy theories, banking and more porn"?
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
He does.
And people panic when he goes down.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
Arf arf.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
that router work ok?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
Worked out of the box.
Cheers.

You weren't kidding when you said you'd filled that drive up!
Many thanks.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
no worries.
:D
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

s c
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
Ha!

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
I love you too,
you pathetic excuse for a man
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:11, archived)
Can't be me
I'm charming and smell nice in real life too
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/bogusoriginal.jpg
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
It's me glands

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

d
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)
3/10
Too obvious
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)
That would make for an excellent gnops.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

www.cr3static.com/data/jpg/piston.jpg
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
How many mistakes is that now?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
Hahahaha

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
I'm so glad I don't drive.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

s2.b3ta.com/host/creative/79123/1243347495/honda.gif
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)
Oh Jesus

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
This kind of bullying will surely be the end of me!

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
*cough Cough*
gamesnet.vo.llnwd.net/o1/gamestar/objects/143984_main.jpg
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
haha :D

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
Pfft
You leave Sammi out of this, you terrible cunt
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
Oh you horrible funny cunt :D
*mops tea from chin*
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
fucking hell :)

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
No no
This is Sammi
blog.beliefnet.com/moviemom/igor_finalteaser-(2).jpg
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
Aw cute

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

I'm uthed to being teathed but thatth abtholutely unnetherthary.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)
Igor!
*hugs*

*backs off nervously*

*hands back arm*

How's the cellar keeping?
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)
Dark, cold, wet and well thtocked, thir
itth lovely
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)
splendid, Igor
Splendid.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
:D

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)
COMEDY ACCOUNTS IST NICH GUT.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)
At least learn a BIT of German.
NICHT.

As in 'HITLER ACCOUNT IST NICHT FUNNY.'
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
DU BIST EIN DUMBDUMBKOPFTEN ES IST NICHT DIE TALKING IN GERMAN ZAT IST DIE PROBLEM EST IT DIESE TYPINGS IN ENGLISH

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)
zeigen sie mir deine titten

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)
NEIN! ACHT MEIN GOTT IN HIMMLER DIVE DIVE!

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6239777
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)
Don't take the hump

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Im not pretty but I dont look anything like her
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
Yes, sorry, Igor
How's Abi? Abi Normal?
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)
And on Corrie, from what I hear.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
I'm quite the metrosexual chameleon

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
Stand in front of something stripey.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
In these shoes?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
Oh hush.
Puppy.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
me me me

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
Supermatt

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
I would not say there is a typical
there are just extremes.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
Typical b3tan?
So, they'd have to be fat, spotty, living with their Mum, and have a major social dysfunction making them rage at the world.

JMG, to a T.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
This is where people will reply with something about 'banging a wobble drum'
Or something equally hilarious.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
The only wobble drum I have is my belly.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
I think I'll have to go with Supermatt, too.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
Eurgh. Are you sure?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
She's reclaiming her childhood.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
Ugh, not in that way:(

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
Why Eurgh?
Supermatt is lovely
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
He's like a little sweet Gollum.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
Yes he is -
the thought of sleeping with him, however, is not.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
This.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
That's simply not true
Im sure nothing makes your mimsy fizz more than the thought of him in only his Neo jacket, bearing down on you, all sweaty and excitable.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
:((((
I hate you, Mykey.

How many rats do you have? I was thinking of getting some when I go home. I will have to cat proof them, though.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)
None

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
Wut?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
I moved them

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
What did you do with them?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
Stole them

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
she ate them, what do you expect

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)
It takes at least three people to move Daisy these days

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
Cows aren't rats, Mykey.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
This one is

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
Pretty much

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)
You're mean

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)
6
I suggest a sturdy cage. And getting rid of the cats.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
Noooo. Can't do that.
I'll have to work on rat armour.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
That's what I mean. It's awesome.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)
And this cage
The Freddy

www.rct-rats.co.uk/Info/Available_Cages/Savic_Freddy.jpg
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
Cool, Ronnie has the rabbit version of that.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
Is Ronnie remaining in saxonia?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
Yeah:(

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
I don't think there is one
I think we're all a bit similar really
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
But I'm thin.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
I would say about 50% of b3tans are thin too

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
That would mean that b3tans are, on average, thinner than the general population.
I find this hard to believe.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
Lu's presence skews the data.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
this

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)
In JMG's world probably me
Fat - Check
Antisocial - Check
Needy - Check
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

Makes little lists about stuff - Check
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
Clearly its me
I'm a fat social outcast loser on the internet, never happier than when ramming cakes into my slavering maw and getting upset, ONLINE.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
Nonsense BS.
Get that chin up.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
which one?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
you could get a job advertising mr kipling cakes
as in your tiny mits, the cakes would look huge.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
Piston_boring.
socially awkward, not as funny as they think they are, and a face so ugly that the only thing to cuddle it in childhood was a scientist.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
to be fair to piston, he can make or break a bash
as people saying `oh for fuck sake piston` can be quite funny.
and
I have known people to be even more social ackward than piston.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)
Gonzo
I'd probably say he is the king of /talk as well
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
I think he's a Duke.
Some kind of kick-ass Duke.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
Or a Jewk, even.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)
Jewke?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
Anti semite.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)
Only the dyslexic ones.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)
The azra3lites?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
silly preference
fallen angel is not stolen country..
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)
Gonzo would probably call himself a Duck

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)
I'm not going to be horrible to anyone

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
Then fuck off back to Off Topic.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)
BUT WE JUST NEED TO HAVE A HUG OUT

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)
what about me then eh eh eh?
mr stringbean
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)
Your neck is so massive even your V Neck jumpers are Round Necks
Don't mess tyman, you know I'm faster than Down's chasing after a tennis ball
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)
tsch

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)
*flexes stringbeans*

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
some fat, virgin, posts here all day, even does youtube vids.... hmmm
friz
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)
Who the fuck are you?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)
Oh, are you the kid who sent me parody lyrics
Are you upset that I didn't sing them?

Oh.. is this why you now don't like me.

Aww.

Poor little guy.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:28, archived)
It was a truly shit idea, mind

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)
You have to be more concise in your put-downs.
I like to get everything done and out of the way in the first reply. You can actually see your brain working in these three replies here.

D-
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)
Ah, but sometimes the delivery like that works
I plan it out as a three post thing.

It's always in threes as well.

PAR EXAMPLE: This tedious shitcunt who was on /board earlier: www.b3ta.com/board/9554381
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
Someone in posting less than hilarious image on b3ta shocker!
Seriously, I liked you better when you were just shit... being shit and mean does not suit you.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)
I'M STILL STUCK IN 1660, IT'S FULL OF DOGS WITH GIN BREATH

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
damn, rejected by friz..
that just redefined "low"
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)
It was the shittest idea I've ever heard
He basically wanted me to sing "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen, but replace all the pronouns so..

.. get this..


.. it was a BOY singing about how shit a GIRL is in bed!

COMPLETE FLIP REVERSAL!
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)
It would have been better if it was about going to an event which was supposed to feature a rollercoaster, some candy floss and various stalls featuring games of chance run by gypsies.
However, contrary to the advertising, none of these attractions were featured, hence the conclusion that it wasn't a fair.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
That

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)
Is Fucking

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
Genius

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)
I know.
I'd send you a copy of some of my parody songs, but unless you're very interested in Irish politics from five years ago you probably won't laugh.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
or indeed
if she was singing about hair, but bemoaning the fact that her dark locks were holding up her progression in a media-savvy world where only blondes were attractive.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)
Or if she was bogus official and a pasenger hadn't enough money to get on the traion he could say it wasn't fare.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)
Or she bought a fake christmas tree and it's not fir
I don't know.

Stop looking at me.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)
I think we might be getting convoluted here.
stick with your first idea as it's clearly the best.

Although the hair one might be easier to alter the lyrics to suit?
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)
Should be about a badly made fence post saying how it's not square and I think it's gunna lean

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)
YES

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)
It's not Cher and I think he's really keen

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)
Pfft hahah :D

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)
WINNAR.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)
Can you read this?
OOPSIES ICH VERGESSEN!

KANST DU READEN DIS - DU GROSSER SCHPASCHTICAFTEN?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)
???
BARK BARK BARK!
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)
Is it time for a new thread yet

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)
bark bark bark bark bark

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)
Hold on! You're not Austrian! IMPOSTOR!!!
Good spot Police Dog
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)
Hang on..
Police Dog only appears when you... are... about...


...



GASP!
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)
VE NEED EINENE NEUER DOGG - VON FUR HITLER TO HAVE AST MEINE PET-GEFAFTEN

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)
I'm here from 9-6. He sends me gazzes so I know when he's about.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:05, archived)
Oh good.

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)
Bou

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:17, archived)
Designing engines again
Oh yeah.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)
anything exciting?

(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)
High efficiency, near-fixed speed water pump engines.
Exciting to me.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)
well it obviously gets somebody's juices flowing, so to speak.
what topology?
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)
3 cylinder inline
Fucker of a flywheel, but it dosn't change speed much and the torque control is the important bit. However thats the novel bit, so if it goes well it will be a trip to the patent office again.
(, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)