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I just ate a meal cooked by a psychiatric patient.
What's the bravest thing you did today, you fucking coward?
I'm surprised you people ever won a war, I mean, really.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)
We won a war?
Wasn't that the Russians?

I picked some raspberries. They're quite prickly and I didn't even wear gloves or owt.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
Oh, you people won lots of wars.
Just not that second one your soccer fans chant about.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
I think Sting said it best
I hope the russians make love to their children too
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:02, archived)
Are raspberry canes prickly?

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
That was sort of the joke.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
It's been a long day.
I shall sit here wearing a hat that has 'Thickums McThicky' written on it in drool.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
are you talking about spackers knobs?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:59, archived)
At our nearest PYO strawbs and rasps place they have a little collection box for Help for Heroes
with a note saying if you tried a few while you were picking leave some cash in the box. So there, discussion time.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:39, archived)
My mate is doing the Ride Across America thing where you cycle non-stop coast-to-coast raising money for military service charities.
And all those cunts can do is stuff a few soft fruit in their gobs? It's a fucking liberty. Bring back national service.

/discussion
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
first off you don't have any mates
and no way is it riding non stop coast to coast, unless the cunt is street hawk, which you may as well pretend he is as you are making it all up
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
http://www.raceacrossamerica.org/
It's a team thing. Four hours on four hours off or summat. It's still pretty fucking hardcore.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)
yeah, whatever, at wot point would i open that site? or care about a non stop/stop start wank fest of your pretend mate, nice try hambles

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
doing shit for charity is a fucking waste of time.
Just give the money, it's not about you sacrificing or sweating, because nothing you do could ever compare to the tragedy of the victims of whatever cause you're raising money for, which means your fucking bean bath or pseudo run just cheapens the whole principle of human suffering and turns it into a joke.

If you care about suffering, dig deep and cough up, but don't turn it into a fucking lark with your mates, you morally impoverished scumbag.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
I can't decide which would be more tragic
you actually thinking that was a coherent argument, or you pretending that it was a coherent argument as a feeble attempt to sound edgy.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:49, archived)
I do want to see an end to charity

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)
Well you can't.
So building arguments around it is an exercise in idle sophistry.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:52, archived)
yeah but it does wind up the bleeding hearts who think their grunting and sweating will ever achieve anything ever

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
Yeah. Oxfam and Wateraid and Cancer Fucking Research never did nuffin.
FFs. I'm actually indulging you in this like some sort of prick. I need to get off the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:55, archived)
still got water problems and cancer, haven't we

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)
why? charity enforces power

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)
i agree with you both, in so much as so far as you a both wrong cunts who need to fix up and look sharp

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:52, archived)
sweet as a nut mate, sweet as

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)
where did cowfoot go?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)
yeah, why did the wrong cow stay and the wrong cow leave?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:04, archived)
Probably the EU and it's farm subsidies.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:06, archived)
I'll let the rogue apostrophe slide
but considering France gets something like 20% of the entire EU budget for its paltry million farmers, I'm really glad they're going to lose nearly a trillion euros when economies of Spain, Greece, Portugal, Italy and your own pestilent island collapse.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)
Fucking hell, you must be sick.
Really, go see a doctor. And not me or Shambles.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:11, archived)
not bothered, living in Europe's only growth economy, right here

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)
Yeah, I'm very annoyed about our last government forcing AIB to sell off their Polish bank just before the election.
We owned a profitable bank, in a strong economy, and on their way out the door the fucking gangsters sold it at a knockdown price. Cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)
Yeah, Bank Zachodni's going great guns, best bank on the market right now
your lot really ballsed that up.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:22, archived)
No, they didn't.
They were gangsters. By their standards they got that right. It was the last bit of looting they could do.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:26, archived)
Fucking hell.
I mean, even I did a gig for former British servicemen/servicebirds.
And I didn't either charge, or claim expenses.
And, while you might not have noticed, I have "issues" with the whole Brit Imperialist Armed Forces fandango.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)
Palestinian Yiffer Organisation strawberries are shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:43, archived)
you shut your whore mouth

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:25, archived)
I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE OF ALL THE FUR IN THE WAY OF YOUR FACE

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:40, archived)
Badger did epic trolling on this subject on the TWTD website.
I was amazed at how humourless some people are.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)
Have you got a link to that?
I asked him yesterday, but after the board had moved on.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)
It's lurking in their archives I think.
www.twtd.co.uk/mb.php?m=v&t=132386#132386

See if you can spot him ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)
Most of the responses seem quite civil.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:15, archived)
Fuck forums that require one click per reply.
Fuck them to infinity.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:27, archived)
Well, you can't expect good technology from the British armed forces.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:32, archived)
Ipswich, you mean.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)
Either/or

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)
GiffGaff offered me a fiver of credit or a fiver to give to Help for Heroes
I only pay a tenner a month anyway and the credit wouldn't go towards that so I opted for the charity option so I can feel smug and superior. Also some of my mates are trained killers.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:26, archived)
I'm not surprised you never did

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:37, archived)
I've been meaning to ask you something.
You clearly know a lot about cars, and have obviously taken a long time to build up that store of information.
When was the last time someone asked you a question, about cars, to which you didn't know the answer, but felt obliged to make up some bollocks to hide your ignorance?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:40, archived)
I'm not afraid to say "I don't know"
but I do give people bullshit information if they didn't ask me politely, and then they fuck off and buy an Alfa.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)
I figured you'd be like that now,
but I also reckon your interest in cars predates such maturity.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)
oh yeah
but there was a time where I had to speak to a members club for an article I was writing, and in the pub where they met they all brought along a bit of their car, and the others had to identify what the bit was. It was when one guy put down a washer on the table and another guy said "ahhhh, that's the olive sleeve for the thrust bearing in the gearbox" that I thought "nah, fuck it, whatever happens I'm not going to turn out like that."
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)
That's the problem with hobbies, right there.
My father has recently started getting back into model trains.
It's something he's wanted to do since he was a kid, and why not? He's got the time and money now, but he's quite rightly terrified of being associated with model train people.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:53, archived)
Oh no, here come the french and spanish
"FUCK YOU FRENCH AND SPANISH"
"CONFIDE THIS MONSIEUR"
"IN YOUR FACE"

*Ten years later*

"Bonjour Mr Exile, back for more"
"Yes"
"IN YOUR FACE"

*BRITAIN WINS*
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
I have done nothing brave today.
I am a chicken shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:38, archived)
[something about the blitz]

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
I went to work..

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:41, archived)
And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:44, archived)
Some of us have scary jobs you know..

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:45, archived)
Flapping your hands about is scary?

(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:54, archived)
It can be...
only in that some jobs are really hard and and I can be totally unprepared, and might be shit and not understand what anyone is saying and the Deaf people might not understand me and the other interpreter might think I am rubbish, *sweats* and one job made me cry today because it was so sad.
Only in that way.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:59, archived)
awww
*hugs*

I never realised it could be so hard.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:00, archived)
that's ok
most of us feel totally inept in this job and often feel a lack of confidence, it usually works out OK. :-D
But yes, there are sad times for other people sometimes..
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)
are you saying that deaf people have better language skills than you?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:00, archived)
I don't believe I was making that comparison.
and it's Deaf not deaf.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)
Why's that then?

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:18, archived)
Why's what?

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:25, archived)
Deaf rather than deaf
Seems a bit patronising to give it a capital letter, not sure the blinds or the limping do the same
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:27, archived)
Not really, it's just to differentiate
Deaf people see themselves as a cultural group as they have a shared language, history, experience that is unique. They are a political bunch, who have an identity different from 'deaf' people. Those who can't hear but will probably have English as a first language and are deafened or become hard of hearing at a later age.
The same idea doesn't apply to the blinds or the limping as they generally have a shared culture and language with us hearies.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:36, archived)
I think you mean Hearies.
If they get to do it then so do we.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:40, archived)
So what is the definition of
Hearies and hearies?
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:45, archived)
I don't know, I was being facetious.
Now I feel bad about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:48, archived)
AaAaARrRrddDDVVvVVvvvVAaaAaarrRRrKKKKKKkkKkkKkKKKKK!!!!
Stand in the corner and think about what you have done.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
I'm thinking about all the things I've done.
*evil grin*
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:58, archived)
Thanks for clearing that up.
I'd presumed it was a difference between profoundly deaf and hard of hearing.
(I helped save b3ta! CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
pardon?

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:28, archived)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:29, archived)
had the deaf person wet themselves and there were no spare pants around?

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:09, archived)
They throw theirs away
after 9 years so they were sadly lacking in the pants department.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:14, archived)
poor deafos, not having the joy of cotton that cups the buttocks like a loving friend

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:17, archived)
It's discriminatory
against old pants is what it is..
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:21, archived)
Have you been to a physiotherapist? They don't let you quit.
I walked without crutches which was fairly brave, turns out my knee is jelly, and i'll limp forever. Like a mong.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:42, archived)
I'm stuck between offering sympathy to a stranger and mocking an internet cripple.
I'll let you decide.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:44, archived)
sympathy is for the cunts on QOTW.
if i wanted sympathy i'd go see my nan.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:46, archived)
*removes mask*

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:48, archived)
whoa, let us leave nans out of it, shambles gets upset and i'm having a hard time of it

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:56, archived)
I wasn't aware nans were taboo
is this like that thing that might get you banned if you mention it?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:46, archived)
mongychops killed his nan for attention?

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:21, archived)
too far

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)
Just add some custard
then it will merely be a trifling problem...
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:47, archived)
i wasn't trying to start a food thread
I'm on shaky ground as it is, you're not helping.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:50, archived)
You mentioned jelly...

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:59, archived)
i did, and i can't take it back now
can we just move on?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:02, archived)
SPONGE FINGERS!
I'm done now..
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:03, archived)
I really hope you're proud of yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:07, archived)
*pats self on back*

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:13, archived)
I'm watching this thing on the Royal Ballet.
I've had a bit of stick with my shoulder but those poor bastards are physical wrecks. They retire cripples at forty. It's grim as fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:51, archived)
They destroy themselves for their art.
In a way, they're committing protracted suicide for your enjoyment.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:57, archived)
You could be all like House and smash someone in the knee with your cain and go "Awww, does your leg hurt too?"

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)
Does it count as asssault?
If not, i'm well in.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:36, archived)
negotiated the Redditch Ringroad

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)
I fought Phantom Ganon and Volvulgia.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:12, archived)
AWESOME.
How's you, chief?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:16, archived)
I'm good, been a shitty day here so just chillin'.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)
Totally GAZzed you.
And, Al Jazeera calling us bothersome, I mean really.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:24, archived)
That sounds like you beat off some massive
scary vagina monster.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:17, archived)
Well, I did need to use a hammer to pound it...

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:20, archived)
Dude, how much have you been playing it? I'm only just finished the gorron temple (as a kid) on the tube home.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:25, archived)
Bought the thing saturday, played it 8 hours saturday night, probably the same sunday night and most of monday.
In ice cavern atm, at the start of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:37, archived)
Wow, sweet

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:52, archived)
Hahahahahaha, chronic mental health issues, hahahahahah, it's not a _real_ illness... it's the 'bad back' of the times, innit. hahahahha, good for a few weeks off. hahahha.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:23, archived)
Shut up, bellymental.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:31, archived)
Sat in an NHS hospital for two and a half hours.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:33, archived)
Fuck me, two and a half hours in a hospital must have cost you a fortune.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:41, archived)
I've never even fought in a war.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:39, archived)
You should try it sometime.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 21:42, archived)
I demanded to speak to the manager
turns out it was my fault, but still, it took some form of bravery I guess
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:00, archived)

nager dam
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:05, archived)
I drank a load of free wine in the name of advertising tonight
it was hard but someone had to do it
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:26, archived)
Wine shouldn't be hard
are you sure it wasn't dicks?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 22:32, archived)