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I liked what was going on down there
with b3tans on dates.

So here's a fresh topic for it. Tell me your b3tans on dates stories.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:30, archived)
After explaining at length exactly how to execute a plethora of complicated wrestling moves,
Tina was hoping Manolith would release the sleeper hold before she passed out, and was beginning to panic.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:36, archived)
It's the only way he knows how to cuddle

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:37, archived)
every woman loves a rear naked choke

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)
not just the women Mano
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)
did you know there is a rasslin manoeuvre called a 'shining wizard'

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:54, archived)
Is this one of those times i regret googling something?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:55, archived)
i wouldn't have thought so

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:59, archived)
Ever wanted to see Japanese people kicking each other in the face?
If the answer is Yes, then you're in for a treat
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:05, archived)
Jesus, I haven't heard about that move sice WWF Warzone/Attitude.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:56, archived)
i always give it to my create a wrestlers in wwe games

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:59, archived)
I opined that if my missus became a wrestler, Shining Wizard would be her finisher
Then the idea of her wrestling and me being her 'manager' got me quite excited. She's not keen on the idea sadly.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:56, archived)
i'd have a half nelson backbreaker, i reckon

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:02, archived)
Figure four leglock for me
and crossface chickenwing. Not at the same time, of course
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:05, archived)
you'd be a submission wrestler?
BORING
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:09, archived)
I like to hurt people until they scream for mercy

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:11, archived)
I'd Rock her Bottom, if you catch my drift.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, archived)
Wait, no, I've misunderstood this subthread.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, archived)
never mind, i prefer this
i'd clutch her camel
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:10, archived)
I'd CRIPPLE her CROSS FACE!
Poor Nancy Benoit and offspring :(
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:16, archived)
I'd have a five knuckle shuffle
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, archived)
How about a dutch rudder
and finishing her off with a fuzzy Hannah?
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:39, archived)
I'd totally post-it note her work environment

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:43, archived)
Oh man I would creosote her fence all day.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:09, archived)
I would so arrange her chopping boards by size and use

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:31, archived)
alright adam, stop talking about your silly sport

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:45, archived)
Already impressed, Natalie was quite taken by Windy Pig's palatial mansion
He escorted her around the grounds in one of his Land Rovers, where they stopped and picnicked under an old oak tree, that's mentioned in the Domesday book.
Then he got the fucking dog out of his pocket.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:38, archived)
proper lol at that one TH,
made my morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:39, archived)
You know I loves ya Porgie

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:40, archived)
A dog that's used exclusively for intercourse.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:38, archived)
don't be silly, little dogs can't pull golf trolleys

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:43, archived)
Why do you think it's called 'dogging'?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:44, archived)
I used to think dogging meant squeezing a dog until it farts.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:52, archived)
It sort of is

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:53, archived)
are you saying both the pigs are windy?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:32, archived)
Stephen's hasty retreat was halted by a well placed ninja star.
Next week we'll see if Jenpots manages to survive a date without maiming someone.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:39, archived)
Nope

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:15, archived)
CANDLEFONDLE!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:16, archived)
Many thanks x

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:17, archived)
'alright' called out mongy, as he walked into the pub.
'Not really, you are over two and a half hours late', replied Amy.
'tl:dr', yelled mongy, as he pulled out his penis and started repeatedly slapping her around the face.
All in all, it was one of her better dates.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:40, archived)
For a first date, this appears to have gone rather well.
"Well, LOVELY, just LOVELY! I do hope he calls again, that would be just AWESOME!"
Stuj appears to be very smitten but does Pingu feel the same way?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:41, archived)
:)
You're good at these.

I think stuj's ideal date would be called 'Dingu', though.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:47, archived)
ta!
Yeah, Dingu works. If Stuj reads that he'll probably do a cum.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:52, archived)
"I said hello and asked him how he was" remarked Sally after her date with Grrmachine
"He made a grunting noise, poured beer in my lap and walked out. Next week he's coming to Warsaw to meet my parents"
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:42, archived)
This needs to be seen
b3ta.com/talk/7469885
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:44, archived)
Also, has anyone played The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion?
I bought it for £4
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:45, archived)
no.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:46, archived)
Fat lot of good you are

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:55, archived)
Don't trouble yourself with the main quest too much is the advice I always hear.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:43, archived)
Fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:56, archived)
Yeah, it's pretty good, if a bit short.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)
Cool
That'll suit me...I don't have a hell of a lot of time for these things
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:54, archived)
Yes, it's worth more than that.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)
Although the world is a bit empty, and the dungeons and caves repeat themselves.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:49, archived)
Morrowind was the last genuinely fantastic Elder Scrolls game.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:51, archived)
You win the 'most positive response' award
Cheers jacksh. I figured that for 4 quid it was worth a punt.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:53, archived)
I bought LA Noire for £3.50 the other week and it was not worth that price.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:55, archived)
Really? I considered getting that

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:56, archived)
It was all right for a bit, but there's not really a free roam option. It just seems a bit pointless to recreate all of LA and then only let you drive to and from missions.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:10, archived)
I bought it for cheapo too and it was a load of toss
My character was a screaming racist and he spent a lot of time staring at bottles and cigarette stubs
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:28, archived)
i played it a bit and got bored

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:49, archived)
Yeah, but you're only 6 years old
You have a naturally short attention span
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:54, archived)
yeah well you're... GAY

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:54, archived)
Go and sit on the bottom step and think about what you just said
*moves Rocket points down to '3'*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:57, archived)
you wait until we're next in asda
i'm going to have SUCH a tantrum
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:07, archived)
Throw a temper tantrum and see what happens
(This is an actual threat that I use...it normally works too)
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, archived)
i saw a small child have a tantrum at fratton station today because the train she had to get on didn't have a blue roof!

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:11, archived)
Stupid little cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:11, archived)
I'd have firebombed the train station.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:13, archived)
Picard is in it.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:54, archived)
For about twenty seconds right at the start.
That was a bullshit marketing thing.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:55, archived)
Good enough for me

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, archived)
Skyrim and Morrowind are better
Oblivion is the worst in the TES series
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:27, archived)
Seems to be quite divisive
Hmm
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:31, archived)
Oh no doubt the other two are better games, but Oblivion is still decent enough to waste an awful lot of your time on.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:33, archived)
Yeah it's not a bad game
But it's not the best in that series. Thieves and Dark Brotherhood guilds are best, Fighters is toss, they really mucked that up
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:34, archived)
Aw man, I just remembered the last Dark Brotherhood mission and now I've got a sadface.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:44, archived)
As the ambulance speeds off into the distance, Adam reflects on another unsatisfying date.
"Perhaps using a pizza plate was a bit much but I only threw a gentle underhand-fuckspinner. Even my gran could catch that!"
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:46, archived)
Rebecca wasn't sure exactly who Glued Eel was,
or really what they had done on the date, and there was a worrying bloodstain on her chest.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)
"Yeah, well, one doesn't like to brag but.... I gave her a bit of a welding, if you know what I mean! I do like those older models."
Grrrmachine appears to have had a successful date with Christine.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:50, archived)
After 20 minutes of discussion about why zombie movies don't work
Natasha pretended that she needed the restroom and left AKP jabbering away in the snug. It was a further 45 minutes until he noticed. It was a FURTHER 2 hours before he stopped talking and went home.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:59, archived)
After his seventh trip to the buffet, Mykey decides to acknowledge Portia's presence.
"So, you're a black chick then."
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:02, archived)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:27, archived)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:44, archived)
Valerie has called time on her date with Brayn.
She seems to have become frustrated by him answering every question with "Please bitch, I don't even!"
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:05, archived)
What is this I don't even.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:00, archived)
After her date had mentioned that he's not particularly interested in her breasts
Rachelswipe reaslied she had nothing else to talk about and the date fizzled out.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:07, archived)
"I don't see what all the fuss was about, I like cows!"
Vladimir reflects, after another date lasts mere moments. Next week we'll see if he can start a date without saying "Wow, I like cows. I'm so glad to meet you!"
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, archived)
After her last horrific breakup, Jennifer thought she would never be able to trust another man again
but after the romantic dinner and a few bourbon sours at the local jazzclub, Theoban was starting to look like the man she could spend the rest of her life with.
Going to his studio, she never understood his comics but was needing, aching to feel loved again.

In her alcohol and love-induced haze the bottle of Ipecac and the camera nearby meant only the way into his heart as she posed for the latter and drank the former for him.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:09, archived)
After checking her ticket Bogus decided the date could go ahead.
A short trip later and they got to the dog-track in time for the 7:30 race.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:15, archived)
"Healing crystals! HA! Fuck me, that's going on the list."
With that, Mike appears to have called time on his date with Josephine.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:19, archived)
krakapotl's date ended badly when Suzie accidentally slipped on his footpath and broke her neck

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:21, archived)
"I wonder if he's still coming?" Mary wondered, sitting in the restuarant alone.
Hiding behind the pot plant in the corner of the room, Sticky Label, her date, was watching her. Watching her intensely. Scanning for signs of fertility.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:28, archived)
Haha.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:33, archived)
"i'd definitely like to have children one day" proclaimed karen
"already taken care of" replied johnny catfish
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:01, archived)
"In the end the winning ticket was won by my best friend and I" Bridget enthused
"Me" Grrrmachine said
"Pardon?"
"Me. You mean 'friend and me'. You've hyper-corrected there, a typical fallacy, most common in those with a late 80s early 90s education"
Silence followed for a full minute.
"So...BMWs?"
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:33, archived)
beautiful

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:35, archived)
Nice.
Though I'm 100% with Grrry on the old hypercorrection bugbear.

Maybe even 110%, come to think of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:46, archived)
I'd imagine he treats ladies with all the care and attention he gives his cars
and tries to spot weld all their rusty holes closed
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:38, archived)
I've been on a few dates lately Ed
all fruitful I'm pleased to report, god rest their souls.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:45, archived)
I went on a date a couple of weeks ago
Didn't go well, she reminded me of me mum, ain't into that
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:46, archived)
shame, everyone else is

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:48, archived)
MODS
I'm getting threats about my mum, do something
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:51, archived)
i'm not threatening your mum theo, soz
i thought this was OT for a sec and that we were all doing your mum jokes still
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:07, archived)
I wasn't seriuos Quinten it's alright
As a beloved poster I'd never dob you up to plod
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:16, archived)
its ok, manolith is so weak he'd probably have just edited the post to a picture of eddie the eagle winking anyway

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:30, archived)
What?? But that's his MUM, Quinten!
You can't make jokes about that! For shame :(
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:52, archived)
Was it your mum Theo?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:52, archived)
I hope not, she'd shaved half her hair off
I weakly said 'yeah I like it' - I did not.

haircut for tossers

I'm not good with people :(
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:53, archived)
try going out with a non-mental.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:55, archived)
Vegetarian too :(
Anyway I need to sort myself out, and then I can try maybe talking to ladies again, right now I don't really see how anyone would want to spend even brief seconds with me

WHOOPS that got depressing WOOOPLA HOORAY WILLIES LOL
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:59, archived)
I luves you baby!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:02, archived)
don't be silly, theo
you seem like a lovely fellow, albeit with a confidence deficiency
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:04, archived)
I think you should stop talking to girls while wearing only briefs

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:52, archived)
Give it one more chance
then go gay
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:57, archived)
Oh dear.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:09, archived)
Piston_Broke sighed. It wasn't the disappointment any more - this had happened too many times for that -
it was more the crushing predictability. The inevitability.

He picked up his fork in his left hand and mournfully began to consume his Bombay Bad Boy pot noodle. From time to time he gazed sadly at his other arm and the empty sleeve in which it terminated. His right hand had stood him up again.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:50, archived)
Oh, I say! Yes, quite good!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:58, archived)
After waiting more than an hour Francine calls it a night.
Meanwhile, planearm is blissfully aware of his faux pas and is glued to a repeat of never mind the buzzcocks on Dave.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:05, archived)
Someone do one for me or I'll stamp my feet and cry a bit.
DO IT NOW.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:08, archived)
*sigh* fine
"that's an impressive beak" said, i dunno, gertrude?
"yes i know, now put your chris packham mask back on" replied utol, crossly
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:11, archived)
Haha, I like this one.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:19, archived)
Hannah stared across the table in bemusement as her date fashioned together a cone of menus
"Do you need a hand with that?" she asked
"Caw" came the reply
Thankfully the entrees arrived at this point. She had ordered the prawn cocktail, but her date had gone for what seemed to be seeds scattered on a sideplate.
He then proceeded to use the cone like a beak, to peck away at the seeds, flicking them up and then down into his waiting maw.
Until one went the wrong way, an errant seed flicked into his eye, he let a giant shriek out
"PAIN!" screamed UToL
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:12, archived)
Why does he get two and I get none?

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:19, archived)
New people don't get them

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:20, archived)
I had to do my own :'(
If I had a penny for everytime that happened.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:28, archived)
Haha, I LIKE THIS
because it's about ME
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:24, archived)
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:13, archived)
Really?
I'm not so sure
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:47, archived)
Jenk just stared at his date's tits
"You're a bit old, what are you, sixteen?" he enquired
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:14, archived)
Nice.
Although...

Jenk Friz
tits balls
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:17, archived)
Woah you can't say things like that about the most popular of /talkers
He'll write a satirical column about us and then we'll be fucked
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:20, archived)
Wait what, did he actually do this?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:29, archived)
No but he's writing satirical columns now
For the Huffington Post no less
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:30, archived)
hoh shit link me up
friz on huffpo
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:38, archived)

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/stephen-frizzle
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:39, archived)
Writing about S Club 7.
mind
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:41, archived)
HILARIOUS. SATIRICAL. COLUMNS.

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:43, archived)
Fucking hell.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:59, archived)
Right
Which one of you pricks told him he was funny? Blood on YOUR hands.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 13:08, archived)
Christ, I want to take out my blue editing pen and cross out this sentence, that clause, those two words
and then everything else.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 24 Mar 2012, 9:37, archived)
JackAction probably had a nice date with a lady and it went well

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:28, archived)
I have been ZINGED!

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:30, archived)
You're a private person man, you got no beak, no catchphrases, what can we mock? WHAT CAN WE MOCK?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:32, archived)
He sounds like Bella from Fireman Sam.
Whereas I am UNMOCKABLE.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:40, archived)
"well you know what they say about a man with nobarms" said Noit waggling his eyebrows and flailing his aforementioned nobarms
"goodnight" said his date.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:52, archived)
Although I've just seen MMPS's one where I tell someone they're holding their fork wrong.
Not sure what that's about, really.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:53, archived)
"Now, I need you to understand," JackAction explained, "I don't do this for everyone. Ok? I'm showing you a side of me that I keep very private."
She nodded solemnly.
JA then removed the wolf mask.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:43, archived)
Janice sat alone in the restaurant, finally extinguishing the candle with tears streaming down her face.
'I guess he just wasn't interested in me after all' she weeped.
Meanwhile, Noit was still trying and failing to open the front door to leave his house with his stupid fucking nobarms.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:49, archived)
JMG seems less than happy as Janet squeezes herself into the booth at TGI Friday's.
"I said no fatties!!"
JMG leaves without so much as a firm handshake.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 13:16, archived)
Janet's standards are way too high

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 13:20, archived)