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Do us a favour, oh great /talk board
Ive got to update question f the week tomorrow, and the suggestions board is looking a bit sparse. Got any ideas? They don't even have to be sensible. I'll even do one of Honda Accord stories if push comes to shove
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 20:55, archived)
Nervous breakdowns. There'd be loads.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 20:57, archived)
I shall regale you all with tales
of rocking back and forth like those bears ou see on animal cruelty adverts you see during Countdown
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:12, archived)
this ^

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:01, archived)
you was just having a whitey, chill

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:06, archived)
Ray FUCKING Bradbury.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 6 Jun 2012, 20:58, archived)
Julia CUNTING Bradbury

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:15, archived)
Jason FUCKINGARSEHOLECUNTBASTARDING Bradbury

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:23, archived)
favourite outright lie
Hat tales
Most inspirational animal
Post photosof as many things as you can in your mouth
favourite human bone
Taramasalata 101
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 20:58, archived)
honestly, I would love a qotw that's just photos of people with mouths full of Lego or Allen keys or faeces

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:09, archived)
any hex key will do, let us not advertise one brand

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:57, archived)
Cosplay stories

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 20:58, archived)
Oh yes!

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:53, archived)
Mono's bumhole

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 20:58, archived)
built in 1842 by sir alfred MONO! to celebrate the marraige of victoria and albert.
it burt down in 1864 and was rebuilt seven years later.
considered a world heritage site.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:02, archived)
precisely this
I want this sort of QOTW answer. Let's suggest it.
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:07, archived)
MONO!s bumhole is the only man made object visible from the moon.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:09, archived)
MONO!s bumhole is regarded as the spirit of morning conversation by the Cherokee.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:13, archived)
MONO!s bumhole was the sixth beatle.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:17, archived)
What is the worst attempt to pull, that worked, you have heard?
I watched in amazement as this 'Merican fool told about the time he made a sound, just a noise, that caused a room full of people to fall backwards and enter a new dimension with him.
The lass lapped it up.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 20:59, archived)
who was the best star trek captain

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 20:59, archived)
luke

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:01, archived)
that fella netflix

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:50, archived)
ahab

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:11, archived)
captain morgan

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:26, archived)
Bucky O'Hare

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 23:37, archived)
Sickest behaviour you've ever witnessed.
Or: social media; ever been stalked? Stalked someone? Got fired due to things you've said online?

Or: Kids saying fuckwitted or insulting stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:00, archived)
bloody hell these are shit go back to molesting kids at least you're known to be good at that

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:02, archived)
Down on the Farm.
Have you ever been chased from a field by a shotgun-wielding maniac? Ever removed city arseholes from your field whilst innocently carrying a shotgun? Tell us your farm stories.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:02, archived)
Resentment.
Who do you resent and why? No points for "[name]. nuff said" type answers.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:03, archived)
When was it last brought home to you just how OLD you're getting

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:04, archived)
your favourite QOTW answer.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:04, archived)
Bacteria.
What's your favourite species of pathogenic Gram negative bacteria and why? No points for "Pseudomonas. nuff said" type answers.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:05, archived)
Helicobacter
Cos it looks well cool innit?
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:26, archived)
has anything funny even happened to you with toilet paper?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:06, archived)
Hands.
What does the back of your hand look like, and why does it look like that? No photos allowed.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:06, archived)
foooooooooooooood
what's the most/least amount of food you have eaten.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:07, archived)
Salad dressings.
Share your funny salad dressing related anecdotes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:07, archived)
one I ran out of balsamic so I used the vinegar from a jar of gherkins to make a lovely vinaigrette

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:11, archived)
Bricks.
What's the best brick you've ever seen?
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:08, archived)
you are a clever lad, why is the indent on a lbc brick called a 'frog'? ta mongychops

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:55, archived)
"The term "frog" for the indentation on one bed of the brick is a word that often excites curiosity as to its origin.
The most likely explanation is that brickmakers also call the block that is placed in the mould to form the indentation a frog. Modern brickmakers usually use plastic frogs but in the past they were made of wood. When these are wet and have clay on them they resemble the amphibious kind of frog and this is where they got their name. Over time this term also came to refer to the indentation left by them."
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:09, archived)
i seen this, citation needed tho eh, i mean i once found a frog sitting in rain water in a brick in my garden, imagine that

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:17, archived)
have you ever fallen off a chair?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:10, archived)
Forum users.
Who's your favourite QOTW poster and why? Answers must be spaced in such a way that they take up at least one full screen, regardless of their content.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:10, archived)
Extra points will be given
for

needless

line

breaks

.
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:27, archived)
How does a middle aged newly divorced chubby part time dad score some poon

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:11, archived)
Quite easily
as it happens
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:14, archived)
I hope I get the credit on the new qotw, that'd make my day

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:18, archived)
Linkedin.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:22, archived)
mumsnet

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:27, archived)
Mugs.
In what appalling and cringeworthy ways have you sacrificed your own dignity and self-respect in the vague of hope of advancing up the career ladder? Did it work? If not, did it get a good laugh?
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:13, archived)
Have you ever successfully managed to reach your penis with your mouth?
Was it just the tip of your tongue touching your bell-end, or did you somehow manage to cop a mouthful?
Did you bring yourself to orgasm, all the while thinking there was something incredibly gay about the whole thing?
Do you feel as disgusted with yourself as others would be if they knew? Tell the world, right here.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:14, archived)
have you ever avenged a loved one?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:14, archived)
does it hurt when you pee?
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:15, archived)
Holidays.
Where did you last go on holiday and was it any good? Photos encouraged.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:15, archived)
have you heard disemodied voices whispering to you secrets and late it turned out the secrets were true?
where where you when captain america was assassinated?
which of you has gotten physically closest to the queen?
greggs the baker tales
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:15, archived)
Dreams.
What's the craziest dream you ever head? Bonus points for humorous and/or expressionistic drawings.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:17, archived)
ghost stories!!!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:18, archived)
What am I thinking about right now?
Is it anus? Is it crow? Is it husk? Find out next Thursday!
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:18, archived)
best warhammer campaign stories.
this one time I rolled a 6 then a 4 and my sapce marines blew up a tank!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:19, archived)
but it was their own a accident and then we all lolled

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:22, archived)
I rollded a 1 and my veteran fell down a well :'(

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
trash but how did he blue it up?
Did he til a 5 on the damage chart and the main engine went hitting any unit within2d6 inches with no saving throw?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:25, archived)
I totes had a spesh meltar unit wif a relic!!!!
he rolled on an beserkar unitz cause he wuz orkses!
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:28, archived)
tell us your crazy lighthouse family gig stories!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:21, archived)
genuine lol here

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:30, archived)
mix cd's
how you picked the best 800 songs of your life
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
where is your favourite place to go when you feel ashamed?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
my happy place!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:25, archived)
your happy place can't be in someone elses bedroom cupboard

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:27, archived)
can it be someone elses pants?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:30, archived)
they have to be big granny pants

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:31, archived)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:33, archived)
/talk
.
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:43, archived)
Hats I have owned

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:23, archived)
desert island wanks.
what pictures would you take?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:24, archived)

NSFW
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:27, archived)
COR!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:29, archived)
Are they being shitted out
or is that a pile of Bambis still to be inserted, one at a time?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:31, archived)
seems to me you could imagine either.
staves off boredom that. well played WP.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:34, archived)
Songs on your ipod
5,000 tunes man, how did you choose them all. Did your wife die as well? That's a bonus
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:34, archived)
what's the best thing you've ever shoved up your cockend.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:38, archived)
what's the best thing you've ever shat out.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:38, archived)
if you wait until tomorrow when the Disney store reopens, boy I'll have a story for this

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:43, archived)
I wish I had a name that good for MY bumhole :'(

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:46, archived)
Interesting places I have shagged in.
That should inspire some good fiction.
wankers
(#1, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:47, archived)
Pricks
wankers.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:47, archived)
What's your worst experience of HORRID bullies from other parts of the site?
What would you like to say or do to them, if you ever got the chance?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:50, archived)
show mongy your bumhole
sarah harding
jailbait
fishing/bivvys
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:51, archived)
worst insult you have ever recieved? how did you respond and with hindsight how would you respond?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:53, archived)
The French have a phrase "l'esprit de escalier"
which means "staircase wit", the clever stuff you find yourself wishing you'd said on the way out. So if you see a frenchman on a staircase, punch the cunt, he's being snide inside his head.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:02, archived)
dirty french fuckers, i'm gonna rampage now

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:04, archived)
Tell you what
the cunts are probably being extra fucking snide in lifts, I pity the next fucking frenchman who gets into a lift with me.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:12, archived)
I nearly got beaten up by some germans in a lift in New York

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:15, archived)
They might have mistaken you for a frenchman

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:18, archived)
i aint having this mags, what hotel and when? we will track these cunts down, who's fucking in on this, cunts need tellin

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:20, archived)
Weren't a hotel
Empire State, on the way down. We were queuing for the lift (they say elevator in america!) and this kid with a proper foot high mohawk comes past and steps in the lift with me. He was looking at me and my mate all the way down. He either wanted a fight or to bum us, i'm not sure which.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:25, archived)
bumming i'd of thought, or a bit of glass table shitting

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:34, archived)
The germans have "treppenwitz" meaning the same
However, in contemporary German it has a different meaning. It refers to events or facts that seem to contradict their own background or context.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:14, archived)
How do I shoot kitten in face?

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:54, archived)
worst time you were shot

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:55, archived)
Best time you were shot

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:56, archived)
Why don't you just fuck off?
Show your working.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:58, archived)
Your victories over /talk.
Tell us how you WON THE INTERNET and DIDN'T MASH YOUR KEYBOARD crying "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH /TALK ARE MEAN!"
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 6 Jun 2012, 21:58, archived)
best time shooting up?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:00, archived)
Best baldmonkey post.
Tell us your favourite EVER baldmonkey post and / or thread.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:00, archived)
as he's dead should we not vote in a new baldmonkey?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:12, archived)
I'd still vote for Dave!.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:20, archived)
why are you all such needy wankers?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:01, archived)
what are the worst type of niggas?

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:05, archived)
which is the best bond film?

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:07, archived)
What'sa matter you, hey, gotta no respect Whatta you tink you do, why you looka so sad Itsa not so bad, Itsa nice-a place, Ahh shaddupa you face

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:08, archived)
emergency evacuation
heroic tales of not quite making it to the toilet.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:09, archived)
Which is your favourite Dave! music track

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:13, archived)
Do I have to choose just one?

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:21, archived)
how long would you live if you only ate rustler's microwave burgers?

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:14, archived)
alt: how old are you

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:19, archived)
Puppetry of the Penis.
What can you make out of your cock?
(#1, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:15, archived)
share your well LOL stories of crushing lonliness.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:16, archived)
share your well LOL stories of crushing lionesses

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 22:24, archived)
What was your favourite bout of gastroenteritis?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 23:43, archived)
What is your favourite joke about a potato clock?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 23:44, archived)