bored of that now, just booked the Telecaster in, stainless steel refret and a neck plane, £220, bargain, can't be doing with the 7.25 inch radius any longer, having it reshaped, compound 10 to 16 inch, sorted

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:15, archived)

Frank
You do realise that there's a strong chance I'm the only person who knows what the fuck you're blathering on about. And I'm struggling to care.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:17, archived)

yes

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:18, archived)

good thing is it won't change the feel of the fingerboard edges because he only has to plane the centre
so it won't need rounding over

plus it's unfinished rosewood so there's no stripping the lacquer off to do the planing and it's an unbound fingerboard, easy job he said
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:23, archived)

although some of the Japanese Fenders have the frets put in sideways and those can be a job to take out without chipping the fingerboard, you have to dig into them on one side then tap them out across the grain, tricky that

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:26, archived)

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:27, archived)

chinky fenders open sideways?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:32, archived)

you horrendous racist

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:33, archived)

I'm not even going to argue.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:35, archived)

What do you reckon on those channel bound fretboards?
seems expensive and unneccesary to me
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:27, archived)

christ, who CARES?
stop banging on about it
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:27, archived)

^upset

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:27, archived)

I've got a channel bound neck saved in my ebay watch list, might be replacing a Strat neck soon
thing is, they're oil finished and I hate that shit, in a couple of months it looks like someone's wiped their arse down it

I'd rather have a thick poly coat on the back of the neck and plain rosewood fingerboard, never looks shitty and it feels a lot nicer to play than oil
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:30, archived)

Fair enough
I sanded the neck down on one of my Les paul's because it was too gloopy. I prefer a smooth neck.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:09, archived)

Les Pauls are girls' guitars, just saying

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:22, archived)

prick

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:27, archived)

^upset

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:31, archived)

I understand what he's on about, but I think it'd be better if he gave me the guitar and then killed himself. like Mortal Wombat

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:29, archived)

I don't see how I could possibly manage with only eight guitars, that's ridiculous

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:32, archived)

I'm in the middle of fixing up the first bass I ever bought.
It's a horrid old hohner custom thing. Headless bass. Sounds pretty cool though.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:34, archived)

there are only three basses worth owning, a Precision, a Jazz or a Dimension
anything else is a wanker's bass, soz m8 lol
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:36, archived)

I've got a jazz, and my main bass is a musicman stingray.
I've also just had my 3rd shit of the day.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:38, archived)

oh yeah, Musicman, those are good actually
I did a huge bogblocker earlier, took three flushes to clear that fucker away
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:40, archived)

I've had 3 small shits. Might go to the doctor.
The only other good bass I've played is my brothers G544
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:42, archived)

can't go wrong with a Fender Jazz, it's impossible to get a bad sound out of one
unless you start doing something idiotic like slapping it
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:45, archived)

see now, I play slap bass on the musicman, but not the jazz.
also, fuck plectrums for bass. Lazy wankers.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:49, archived)

well I can see the point of slap bass, if you're in a Level 42 tribute act
and yeah, fuck plecks for bass
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:54, archived)

level 42.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:59, archived)

I've only got four :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:36, archived)

I've only got four American Stratocasters :(

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:37, archived)

Eight???
That's not managing. That's barely surviving.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:04, archived)

cool you made the right decision for once in your life

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:32, archived)

I've also ordered some shorter grub screws for the saddle height adjusters on one of the Strats, those fuckers been digging into my hand
I could shim the neck and angle it back but that's a pain in the arse, easier to leave the neck where it is and change the grub screws to quarter inch ones instead of 5/16 ones
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:36, archived)

I couldn't agree more

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:37, archived)

try

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:41, archived)

ok i checked properly this time, and you're right, i could agree more but definitely couldn't care less, so yeah

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:44, archived)

Must be a big guitar if it has a saddle.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:46, archived)

it's got six!

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:48, archived)

So you can carry the precision section as passengers?
Cool.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:50, archived)

cool

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:49, archived)

i bet momo is better at playing guitar than you

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:58, archived)

guess again beardy
vimeo.com/78045680
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:06, archived)

That is identical to a Strat I recently sold
According to the serial it was late '84, so probably one of the last to be made by CBS. It was alright, really heavy for a strat.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:11, archived)

I had a 86 Strat, gave it away, still got an 83
that one's a 2005 deluxe body, changed the neck on that to a maple one and stuck samarium cobalt noiseless pickups in
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:21, archived)

I don't even know what my strat is lol

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:24, archived)

it's a white one

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:25, archived)

I had a goat's cheese, lentil and couscous salad for lunch, what did you fatties have?

( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:49, archived)

I don't really like goat's cheese

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:50, archived)

chicken mayo bacon and avocado baguette.
I reckon this is you
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:55, archived)

not quite
i have about that many vhs tapes, i have glasses and a beard, but no long hair, no troll hat, no superhero t-shirts (desperate dan doesn't count), no flowery curtains and no flowery sofa. also i have woodchip and no fancy green wallpaper.

who is it?
( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:08, archived)

4 day old lasagne.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:58, archived)

living on the edge

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:59, archived)

i quite like old lasagne/cpb sometimes
when all the fat congeals and the pasta gets really big and rigid... very yummy.
( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:16, archived)

You should've mentioned this sooner.
I chucked the rest in the bin, this morning, reckoning that 5 days was pushing my luck.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:34, archived)

if it was meaty you probably were
but a vege one should be fine until it grows fur
( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:57, archived)

sorry, I'm not answering that I'm afraid

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:01, archived)

is this because of #currylunchgate

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:03, archived)

what I eat and when I eat it has caused too many issues and upset too many people
We need to let this shameful chapter draw to a close. Thank you, I will be taking no further questions.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:10, archived)

Nothing yet, there's a big lump of goats cheese in the fridge so I might have that on toast

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:07, archived)

sounds gooooooooooood

( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:09, archived)

sounds g f
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:11, archived)

guyrim thread

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:43, archived)

finally

( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:48, archived)

what, from monkey island?

( Zuowan, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:57, archived)

Guyrim Three-woodies.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:03, archived)

You sure know how to wear out a joke, dozer.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:13, archived)

well done to manolith for replying to all those posts
I was in a terribly important meeting so I missed it all
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:13, archived)

he's still got a few more to reply to

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:18, archived)

well he's a busy man
his arse isn't going to scratch itself
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:21, archived)

finished!
people kept expecting me to do my actual job, annoyingly. i bet that thread looked really empty to spanishfly
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:33, archived)

who does he have on ignore now?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:34, archived)

he he he

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:37, archived)

Do you know what I never win?
Competitions. I must have entered dozens of competitions over the years and I've never won a single one. Explain THAT with your science.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:17, archived)

definitely a fix or summat
I've never entered a competition, yet I've won precisely the same number of times as you
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:18, archived)

really makes you think

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:21, archived)

I once won a competition being run by the Telegraph's student magazine,
after writing to the editor of said magazine and complaining that I never won competitions like the one they were running.
In short, they're all rigged.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:19, archived)

You're kidding???
Maybe I should try begging
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:22, archived)

You've already won the game of life

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:20, archived)

That's true
and Go For Broke.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:22, archived)

I just found a book about it
www.amazon.com/The-Game-Life-How-Play/dp/1603865632
( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:23, archived)

seems a little redundant
if you open the box the rules on the inside of the lid
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:24, archived)

true, but you wouldn't find quotes like this on the lid
"Jesus Christ taught that man's words played a leading part in the game of life. 'By your words ye are justified and by your words ye are condemned'." [Matthew 12:37]
( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:26, archived)

pfft, who cares what that bloody jew said

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:27, archived)

this is all you need to know
i.imgur.com/ZOzQxtO.jpg
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:38, archived)

christ
it's like an infographic of a migraine
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:39, archived)

All sounds a bit otherkin to me, clearly manolith has been entertaining homo people and now believes he is a homo dog trapped in a moderators body.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:45, archived)

^ignorant of the beliefs of others

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:49, archived)

orphans were horny sperms in their past lives
i mean, you can't argue with those kind of facts
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:17, archived)

Ah yes
like how disabled people sinned in a previous life. And red skinned people have been marked by the devil. FACT.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:21, archived)

you won my heart

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:33, archived)

that was the hardest contest of all
and the one with the richest prize x
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:38, archived)

when i was a kid, i won a poster-designing competition
it was to encourage people not to throw rubbish in the marina at port solent

maybe you should enter competitions designed for children, you might stand a better chance of winning
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:34, archived)

+ then Trigger made a face

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:39, archived)

FUNNIEST. THING. EVER.

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:10, archived)

shut up
So what are you doing at the weekend? Anything good?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:14, archived)

a friend's birthday party on the saturday. otherwise *shrug*

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:16, archived)

Ooh, is that a surprise party for me?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:17, archived)

no, although i am involved in a surprise party the weekend after
also not for you
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:17, archived)

oh

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:20, archived)

but the weekend after is when the mario kart tournament is!
i'll gaz you the details, it's complicated
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:18, archived)

ok
how complicated can it possibly be?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:20, archived)

Also, I'm being Peach or I'm not playing

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:20, archived)

could be trouble, there's another peach fan in the running. couldn't you make do with daisy?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:28, archived)

manolith appreciation day!
Without manolith, this board would be unmoderated. Just imagine that.
Done? Good. Use this thread to tell the world how much you appreciate manolith.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:11, archived)

lickspittle

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:12, archived)

I'm the yang to your yin.
Don't pretend that you don't need me.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:13, archived)

frank is billy connolly?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:25, archived)

oh right, first name terms is it

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:32, archived)

sorry mr bruno

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:36, archived)

I don't get it soz

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:39, archived)

don't bother explaining, I'm off out

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:39, archived)

toodle-oo

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:45, archived)

disgusting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:24, archived)

He bought me food once because I as unwell
He is all things to all men.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:12, archived)

Sandles in the Bin

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:14, archived)

That is what we are
No one in between
How can we be wrong?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:18, archived)

good, i hate sandals

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:03, archived)

He's a tyrant. He get's upset and bans accounts if he thinks they are more popular than him. I've tried gazzing mongychops about it but nothing seems to get done.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:15, archived)

We should probably show mongy some love, too.
Not today, though. Today is all about our Wookie mod!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:30, archived)

get's get's get's get's get's
hey, at least you never petulantly started an account called 'mandolith' which was banned before it even became active unlike someone i could mention
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:19, archived)

who?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:15, archived)

although he does frot dog's bumholes,
he's alright.
( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:22, archived)

i've always found this place to be one of acceptance

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:36, archived)

he once used his mod powers to help me out and I appreciated it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:22, archived)

happy to help, citizen

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:25, archived)

He's a good lad, but he needs a hair cut

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:24, archived)

NEVER

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:26, archived)

He once lifted a burning car off an injured child

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:25, archived)

you've got this one round the wrong way

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:19, archived)

He once drank Canada Dry

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:25, archived)

this is quite clever
well done
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:26, archived)

He once flew round the earth the wrong way round so fast that it turned back time

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:25, archived)

yeah, it was easy. i dunno why cher made such a song and dance about it. literally.

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:30, archived)

He once hung upside down and kissed Mary Jane on the mouth

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:26, archived)

i do like me some mary jane

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:30, archived)

He once built a big metal suit and escaped from a cave in afghanistan

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:27, archived)

it's the only kind of suit i can wear without bursting all the bicep seams :(

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:30, archived)

He once found a magic hammer but at first couldn't lift it but then he helped some people and then he could lift it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:27, archived)

you mean maxwell's silver one?
i'm not sure about magic but it certainly came down on a few heads
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:31, archived)

he once went blind and put on a red suit in a shit film

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:27, archived)

but enough time has past since then that i've been asked to play batman

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:32, archived)

passed

( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:46, archived)

yep, you're right
how foolish of me
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:47, archived)

sweet
and the fact that manolith appreciation day falls on grrry's candle day makes it all the sweeter
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:32, archived)

Can I have your autograph?
No, scratch that. Can I have a lock of your hair?
No, wait, I've got a better idea. Can I move in with you?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:37, archived)

hmm
yes
yes
no
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:35, archived)

This is almost the greatest day of my life.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:02, archived)

alright?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:40, archived)

yeah, this has cheered me right up
i do have to work until 10 tonight though :(

did you have a good birthday?
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:35, archived)

He once farted the alaphabet during a school talent contest. He was 26 at the time.

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:35, archived)

it was tough, most people don't even know the alaphabet

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:37, archived)

He once made the kessel run in 12 parsecs

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:37, archived)

parsecs are a unit of distance, not ti...zzzzzzzzzz

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:37, archived)

He once "made it so"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:37, archived)

+sticky that they wouldn't let him return it to the shop

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:38, archived)

He once proved that Pi is exactly 3

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:38, archived)

it fucking is, everyone needs to be less uptight about it

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:38, archived)

He once kicked a kestrel into the back of a van

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:38, archived)

i didn't like the way it was loitering

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:38, archived)

He shot first

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:38, archived)

that sheriff had it coming

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:45, archived)

He once exposed himself to a miner

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:38, archived)

e o
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:45, archived)

himsolf

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:47, archived)

yeah, that's the joke you tit

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:46, archived)

it was a joke?
shit like i said people are really going to have to start pointing out the humour on this site.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:48, archived)

maybe you could just go and hang around sickipedia instead

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:57, archived)

well they were really bored stuck down that hole in chile

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:46, archived)

He turned a mediocre quiche into a refreshing main course

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:39, archived)

credit to my friend lorraine for that one

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:47, archived)

He once claimed to be Billy the Kid and asked to be pardoned, as previously agreed by governor Lew Wallace

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:39, archived)

my favourite song is about billy the kid
troo manolith fact #449
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:48, archived)

He faked the moon landings

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:40, archived)

yeah, on neptune

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:48, archived)

He invented the Cobb salad

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:40, archived)

in the north they call it a barmcake salad, the maniacs

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:56, archived)

I heard he hand-crafted the sun
inspired by his life-long fascination with balls
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:40, archived)

Eddie!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:41, archived)

Tooie!

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:42, archived)

Alright?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:42, archived)

That's a bit of a personal question.
Bit invasive. Makes me uncomfortable.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:43, archived)

soz
Are you well in the most general and non-specific sense of the word?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:44, archived)

About four inches
And yours?
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:45, archived)

Small and humble

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:55, archived)

i had to wear REALLY big oven gloves

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:59, archived)

what are you monster munch, a greetings card industry shill?

( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:41, archived)

greetings card industry
ll +t
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:43, archived)

:'(

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:46, archived)

He once threw a pear over a pub in Doncaster

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:42, archived)

I like this one a lot

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:43, archived)

they said it couldn't be done...

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:00, archived)

He circumcised the world with a giant clipper.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:43, archived)

wait, you mean the actual planet or just all the world's penises gathered together
because i've done both, i just don't know which you're referring to
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:01, archived)

underneath his beard is another beard

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:44, archived)

we've crossed over into 'chuck norris' territory here

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:01, archived)

He once carved a spoon from a larger spoon

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:45, archived)

it was a spoon that'd been hit by lightning though, so

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:01, archived)

He bought a sofa that wasn't in the DFS sale

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:45, archived)

that's the only one of these i regret
if only there'd been an advert to inform me of the sale!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:02, archived)

He wears two bluetooth earpieces, one for business, one for pleasure

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:46, archived)

saves me accidentally booty calling my boss

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:02, archived)

He once farted egg shell pieces out

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:49, archived)

i tried putting them back together to form an egg but weirdly there were too many bits

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:03, archived)

He is ribbed, for your pleasure.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:51, archived)

isn't everyone
i mean we all have ribs, guys. right? ...guys?
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:05, archived)

at least two of his testicles are bigger and balder than two hats head.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:58, archived)

this is more to do with him having a bollock-sized head, tbf

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:20, archived)

i'm going to click all of these in the hope of an all manolith popular page

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:01, archived)

sympathy reply

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Thu 5 Mar 2015, 13:15, archived)

he can't look up

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:01, archived)

i can, it just takes a complex arrangement of mirrors

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:23, archived)

He put the Guy in Guyrim.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:06, archived)

you don't want to know who put the rest in

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:24, archived)

I'm not saying anything nice about him til he gives me my old account back

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:10, archived)

i like this one better

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:29, archived)

He's once

( Zuowan, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:25, archived)

twice

( Zuowan, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:31, archived)

three times a laydee

( Zuowan, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:32, archived)

in terms of mass and quantity of hair

( Zuowan, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:34, archived)

sorry manolith, don't ban me

( Zuowan, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 11:35, archived)

it's coo'
it passed the laugh test. you're safe.
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 12:30, archived)

well that was a shit thread wasn't it

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:33, archived)

francis

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:45, archived)

alright MGT

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:46, archived)

'alright' is an abstract concept

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:48, archived)

i wasn't a fan, hence my silent protest

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:47, archived)

I liked how no one replied to manolith, that was my favourite thing about that thread

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:49, archived)

i hope that becomes a fun new meme

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:51, archived)

I'd like to see a "don't reply to manolith" day

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:56, archived)

Friday 06.03.15

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:58, archived)

b3ta.com/calendar/write.php
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:58, archived)

why not today?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:59, archived)

why not every day?

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:02, archived)

I think if we did it everyday he'd get sad and kill himself like Mortal Wombat did.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:04, archived)

every day
public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/everyday.html
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:06, archived)

you tiresome savage

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:07, archived)

I aim to educate as well as entertain

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:08, archived)

hahahah
you sure do!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:13, archived)

I dunno, I thought it was alright.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:00, archived)

alright

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:03, archived)

cheers

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 10:04, archived)

Did anyone punch Baldmonkey in his lady cunt?

( Beejay Proper old bastard, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:52, archived)

do you mind, we were discussing refrets

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:53, archived)

7804624 GET

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:54, archived)

I'm on fucking fire today

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:54, archived)

No we werent
You were, everyone else was fucking your mum.

Ok all see you next year.
( Beejay Proper old bastard, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:55, archived)

you are shit and boring

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:57, archived)

great to see you again beejay!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:12, archived)

careful, I hear that spanishfly likes the 12 year olds

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:13, archived)

hahahaha yeah

( mongychops, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:55, archived)

fucked if I can find the USB lead for my phone, wouldn't be surprised if a darkie has nicked it

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:58, archived)

Im going to fit a couple of double sockets with USB chargers in them today

( mongychops, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:02, archived)

sounds a bit too much like manual labour for my liking

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:04, archived)

Sounds like a great idea, I'm sure we'll all still be using USB in 10 years time and not a smaller and more advanced form factor or long range wireless charging.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:25, archived)

Mind you. you may well be dead by then.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:28, archived)

We probably will be dead, wireless charging doesn't sound that far removed from lightning in your house

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:31, archived)

Are Tricorders a thing, yet?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:31, archived)

10 years of use is pretty good

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:40, archived)

he's dead you monster

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:01, archived)

oh no, I'm not falling for that again

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:24, archived)

haha. yeah, probably!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:20, archived)

bored of that now, might take my Telecaster to Ged Green over in Cheadle to get it refretted and the neck radius planed down, fucking reissue models with the skinny frets and the tight fingerboard radius eh, what can you do

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:18, archived)

7804614 GET

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:25, archived)

I am l33t skilz0rz

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:25, archived)

You should take it
to Ged Green over in Cheadle to get it refretted and the neck radius planed down.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:27, archived)

well yeah, that's what I thought, he did a bang up job on a Strat I had refretted, check this out, 6100 stainless steel frets, nice one
i.imgur.com/TWnLJ38.jpg
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:30, archived)

yeah, i stopped caring before you were born, soz

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:39, archived)

I'm not sure how you thought I ever expected anyone to give a shit about this thread

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:47, archived)

Oh, man! Now I know how a guitar feels.
I've been played!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 9:23, archived)

BUMHOLES

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 7:53, archived)

mister h

( $$ ✅, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 7:58, archived)

scouser

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:04, archived)

Mr h

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 7:58, archived)

spasticfly

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:04, archived)

have broken, like the first bumming

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 8:40, archived)

Oh, hello.
How is everyone? All well?
(techsmurf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 2:07, archived)

try to keep the noise down, some of us are trying to get some sleep.

( brb bio in pussy, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 2:28, archived)

fuck off, nonce

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 0:59, archived)

Happy b3taday Grrrmachine
Fancy a bum?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 0:30, archived)

Four day weekend :)

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:50, archived)

^unemployed

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:54, archived)

four weeks off work started today

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:56, archived)

Paid?

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 21:00, archived)

yup
tennis elbow
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 22:08, archived)

^got sacked

( H.B.Mupps, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 21:02, archived)

sounds more like suspended

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 0:27, archived)

rehab?

( mongychops, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 22:01, archived)

^ father christmas

( vladimir, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 23:33, archived)

not you mongy

( vladimir, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 23:33, archived)

sweet

( Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 21:51, archived)

is it easter already?

( mongychops, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 21:54, archived)

i like eggs

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 22:01, archived)

I heard you're one of those collectors that goes to scotchland and steal melleium falcon eggs?

( mongychops, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 22:05, archived)

oh yeah. those ones are cracking
geddit?
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 22:15, archived)

ace, can you let my boss know

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 22:00, archived)

Cheers

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 22:03, archived)

good, you can wake up early and get started on the house repairs then

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 23:21, archived)

Christ there's a lot of over sensitive members of /talk that have me on 2.0
If this thread is anything to go by. I can't imagine I am missing much, can someone give me an update of all the comedy I am missing. Cheers
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 0:25, archived)

^upset

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 1:14, archived)

eat my piss

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:00, archived)

five minutes in and still no replies
you appear to have stumped the board mr horrible
10 points
( vladimir, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:06, archived)

I'll use them wisely

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:47, archived)

guyrim

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:10, archived)

rhcp are shit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:10, archived)

does anybody still like them after the age of fourteen?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:17, archived)

i did

(rhcpaul, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:46, archived)

This is perhaps the most true statement I have ever read on this messageboard.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 19:08, archived)

Except for the eternal, universal truth that Sebastian Winnett is a scarf-wearing cockhound.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 19:08, archived)

all foood threads here innit

( mongychops, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:16, archived)

bunch of fat moronic cunts guzzling their life away
like a pie-eating contest in a mortuary
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:41, archived)

i did an amazing poo today,
i thought it was just leaning up against the back of the bowl at first but when i flushed all the paper went away and revealed that it was actually bent double, goodness knows how long it must have been, i couldn't see the other end of it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:20, archived)

disgusting

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:33, archived)

you should blog this

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:45, archived)

l
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:46, archived)

you should blog this omg poo, lololol!
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 19:09, archived)

everybody likes a funny poo

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:07, archived)

f r
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 0:18, archived)

fp this now

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 19:24, archived)

you'd have to freeze it first, or mix it with some sore of solidifying agent

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:34, archived)

^ expert

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:51, archived)

never eat yellow jelly

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 19:40, archived)

check em

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:47, archived)

nice, thanks

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 0:17, archived)

no thanks.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 19:26, archived)

I'll bet it tastes like Sugar Puffs.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:02, archived)

More like YUMMYbetes, right?

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:45, archived)

What you'd need to do first then
1. Mix some of your piss with cornflour and boil it until it thickens up a bit, then put it in a container and bang it in the fridge for a few hours or overnight to harden.
2. Next you want to cut this piss jelly into cubes; I like mine a little larger than most people, but aim for about half the size of your thumb.
3. Make a batter with milk, flour, and eggs. If you're feeling spicy try throwing in some smoked paprika or cayenne pepper, then coat the piss cubes in the batter.
4. Throw them in a deep fat fryer at a high temperature for a couple of minutes, or until they float to the top. Don't forget to turn them to stop them sticking!

Serve with a dipping sauce of shit.
( H.B.Mupps, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 20:53, archived)

I had a satsuma for lunch
alt:clementine
( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:59, archived)

^otherkin

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:07, archived)

i didn't choose to be a unicorn in a man's body, it's genetics innit.

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:28, archived)

I read that as
I had an asthma for lunch
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:11, archived)

probably because you're a fucking idiot
/ac
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 16:28, archived)

^ clickin dis

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 16:34, archived)

^liar

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 16:52, archived)

Oh no I really really did.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 0:28, archived)

I just clicked now my apologies, I really meant to but then I found something interesting to do instead

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 0:28, archived)

good work

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:11, archived)

I heard a rumour that two hats is actually an octo-gorilla

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:20, archived)

well in that case I'm a nona-gorilla

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:21, archived)

that's not very plausible

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:38, archived)

you always have to be one better, don't you

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:41, archived)

yes

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:42, archived)

i think you're getting confused with a nullo-gorilla

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 16:32, archived)

I heard a rumour that two hats asks for nescafe gold blend in starbucks

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:26, archived)

only to "fuck" with "the man"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:57, archived)

*obvious strikethrough*

i've only just seen your picture from down there
it warms my cockles that you took the time to write it down, on your birthday. clearly ours is a strong bond. x
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 16:38, archived)

I heard a rumour that two hats beat a stoat to death with a pair of wet pants

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:28, archived)

that's bullshit
it was a wet shirt
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:39, archived)

Inside all of us is a mythical creature trying to get out

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:39, archived)

^stuck a fairy up his arse

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:42, archived)

chance'd be a fine thing!
hahaha
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:42, archived)

Only because I've surgically implanted Tinkerbell's kidneys directly into my own
in a weird pixie piss plumbing process.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 17:04, archived)

weird peculiar
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:41, archived)

p-ffft

( vladimir, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 23:34, archived)

Who the FUCK is Two Hats?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 16:34, archived)

I had a fruit that was orange.
It could have been a mandarin or a clementine or a satsuma or, you know, A FUCKING ORANGE.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 17:05, archived)

I wonder what became of Mortal Wombat
and Whorsepower/Baby Ray Pissed.

What do you wonder? You can't say 'Why Why Why WHy'
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:10, archived)

why I exist

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:13, archived)

because your biological mummy and daddy had sex
hth
( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:18, archived)

Guyrim

(Good evening Good evening, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:13, archived)

California Gays

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:15, archived)

Brokeback and Field

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:20, archived)

Duke Poocum

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:31, archived)

Age of Bumpirates

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:32, archived)

Tom Clancy's Gaymo Sex

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:36, archived)

RingSplitters

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:38, archived)

Lob On: Modern Arse Cumbat

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:44, archived)

RimShitty

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:51, archived)

Double Anal Dragon

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:20, archived)

Ninja Gayden III: The Ancient Shit of Doom

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:22, archived)

Shit Fighter: The Ultimate Cumpetition

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:23, archived)

Gaper-boy

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:24, archived)

Chode Runner

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:25, archived)

Jimmy Conner's Penis

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:26, archived)

Checkered Fag

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:26, archived)

The Gays Of Zendocon

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:28, archived)

Shinobi-curious

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:32, archived)

James Pond 2: Homocod

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:32, archived)

Suck Cock
(Chuck Rock)
( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:33, archived)

Chode Rash

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:34, archived)

aRse-Type

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:35, archived)

Durex Strip Poke him

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:38, archived)

Your psychiatrist will have a field day, with all this.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:40, archived)

haha yeah mental illness

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:48, archived)

mental illness is no laughing matter
look at Kanye West. That shit's just sad.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:01, archived)

hey, wanna be in a mario kart tournament?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:07, archived)

Do you know what, I believe I do

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:08, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCb-fD7Yi4s#t=45
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:29, archived)

champion the horse

( mongychops, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:17, archived)

I know what happened to wombat.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:33, archived)

Didn't he turn out to be Ian 'Not H' Watkins?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:35, archived)

20th sexiest man in Wales apparently
www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/hot-50-wales-sexiest-men-1907235
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:38, archived)

Man, there are some weird looking guys in that list
Are they in order of famousness? Famousity? Fame? Actually, I think it's fame.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:03, archived)

I think welsh women have different standards

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:04, archived)

Fewer men to choose from probably

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:05, archived)

I'm not being racist right but those men all looked the same to me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:06, archived)

yes
it's amazing how attractive being on telly can make you.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:11, archived)

nope, signed off work depressed and ended up moving to Birmingham.
Killed himself about 6 months ago.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:06, archived)

who did?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:11, archived)

wombat

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:18, archived)

that's sad

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:18, archived)

not really, last Gaz I has from him was about a motorbike

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:21, archived)

A motorbike?
Well that's suspicious
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:22, archived)

Seriously? How do you know that?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:19, archived)

I made it up.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:20, archived)

That's not very nice, you made me feel sorry for Mortal Wombat you prick

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:25, archived)

So what was the big deal with Wombat?
Because he wasn't actually a paedophile was he, that all came from an IM conversation with Sexface, didn't it? Did he do something else? I don't know the whole story.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:26, archived)

He would regularly go mental and post shit all over the /board and get banned. I reckon he calmed down a little and turned into Frank

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:29, archived)

wow, how times have changed
people used to get in trouble for threadrushing.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:36, archived)

there used to be people

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:20, archived)

that's possible.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:36, archived)

oh ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

( vladimir, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:04, archived)

oh dear still laughing
top work windy
( vladimir, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 18:05, archived)

Since defeating the Kurgan, I've not had to wonder about anything.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:34, archived)

theer cen be only wan

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:03, archived)

delilah?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:48, archived)

yes?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:03, archived)

stay about from my hair

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:05, archived)

BIBLICAL

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:08, archived)

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2978996/Indian-mother-headlines-claiming-son-spontaneously-combusted-arrives-hospital-claiming-second-newborn-baby-caught-fire.html
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:04, archived)

not clicking that, might be a daily mail article. soz.
also, the whole story is in the url
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:06, archived)

Yeah, but what happens next will blow your mind!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:10, archived)

good, because THEY don't WANT you to click that.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:28, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYAcTegqoU0
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:41, archived)

Yeah watched the first minute of that and have no idea, so she fucks animals or something yes?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:48, archived)

No, she's 'otherkin' or 'therian'
In the same way a transexual is (for instance) a woman trapped in a man's body, otherkin are animals trapped in human bodies. I mean, it's harmless, if not utterly delusional. Dreamed up by people who feel like their lives are empty, sadly.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:52, archived)

Like wiccans and nosferatu wankers
YOU'RE NOT A WITCH, YOU'RE JUST UNINTERESTING
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:53, archived)

I'm no expert
but it seems to me that this kind of dysphoria is more likely to be born out of depression/anxiety than being part fucking wolf.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:54, archived)

Oh ok, that seems fairly harmless, I like to pretend to be things sometimes.
Right now I'm pretending to be a doctor.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:56, archived)

I've been pretending to be a network engineer for a few years now
and no one's noticed!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:00, archived)

After a few years of pretending to be anything it's easy to become quite convincing.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:03, archived)

Assuming you're not pretending to be something stupid like a dragon

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:04, archived)

Yeah, if I was going to lie about being an animal it would have to be something cool
Dragon, polar bear, octo-gorilla.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 15:07, archived)

she did it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:07, archived)

you're engaged in speculation
You want to know something? I believe her. Dozens of people spontaneously combust every day, but the mainstream media don't cover it because of obamacare.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:09, archived)

jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:11, archived)

t's a top secret cabal of Illuminati, British Royal Family, the CIA and the catholic church
and it started as a cover up of the Phantom Time Hypothesis. Also aliens.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:15, archived)

seems legit

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:32, archived)

I was going to make a joke about hot & spicy or summat
but I realised that would be in poor taste
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:35, archived)

Under a UKIP government, such action would become mandatory.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:37, archived)

disgusting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 14:38, archived)

what's for brunch?

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:33, archived)

I've filled up on indian snacks and sweet treats
I think I've totally ruined my lunch
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:34, archived)

I want some indian snacks

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:40, archived)

as promised, here is your birthday toilet paper
happybday2hats.JPG
( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:29, archived)

Secure conneciton failed or summat
MODS
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:48, archived)

i wouldn't worry too much about it

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:51, archived)

but I want to see it
BRB put the effort in, I should look at it.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:52, archived)

it was a lot of effort

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:00, archived)

can you put it on Imgur or summat?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:53, archived)

spose, hang on

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:58, archived)

imgur.com/hlSh88d
( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:59, archived)

wow
thank you
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:03, archived)

you are very welcome

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:07, archived)

Bit late for brunch.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:38, archived)

when do you normally have brunch, fatty?

( brb bio in pussy, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:39, archived)

I rarely eat brunch,
I normally just snack between breakfast and lunch.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:42, archived)

I wait until linner

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:49, archived)

grazing, they call that
how appropriate, you fight like a cow
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:33, archived)

hula hoops

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:09, archived)

the most underrated of all the crisps.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:10, archived)

it's two hats birthday, so I'm celebrating by putting a candle in my houmous. hummos. hoummous.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:16, archived)

homos

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:19, archived)

bum candle.
bum candle
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:36, archived)

bummus

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:34, archived)

bum candle
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:43, archived)

I like that one

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:51, archived)

It's spelled 'anus'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:48, archived)

t's
p m
+an
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:54, archived)

WORST BIRTHDAY EVER
i.imgur.com/K8MD2zM.jpg
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 13:04, archived)

coffee

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:25, archived)

I'd love a cup of coffee
but I only have tea bags
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 12:53, archived)

so yeah, anyone having toast for breakfast?

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:03, archived)

nigel farage only eats white toast haha political satire cheers

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:05, archived)

he sometimes blacks up white toast with marmite just so that he can be insulting towards it.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:34, archived)

you're a bit like marmite, apart from the bit where some people love it

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:39, archived)

clickin dis

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:57, archived)

nyomie nyom nyoms

( mongychops, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:08, archived)

don't start your dreadful trolling, it's a nice day and no one wants to be getting upset at the internet this early

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:57, archived)

there's bound to be, it's quite a popular breakfast option

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:11, archived)

oh, it's a classic
Personally, I went for bitesized shredded wheats. They were alright.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:46, archived)

haha, shit breakfast

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:58, archived)

you fucking prick
It's my fucking birthday you wanker
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:58, archived)

well you shouldn't be eating such a stupid shit breakfast then should you you fat idiot

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:00, archived)

yeah, I stopped caring 20 minutes ago, soz

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:04, archived)

joke's on you, I actually don't care who has toast and this entire thread's a sham

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:10, archived)

:O

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:11, archived)

I had strawberry flavoured Weetabix, as the kids are refusing to eat them.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:09, archived)

man, they don't sound good
We had a similar situation a while ago with Wheetos. They were awful, but I won't waste food.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:12, archived)

Yep, waste not, want not.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:15, archived)

Benjamin Franklin said that
FACT
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:45, archived)

why not!
Cheers
( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:12, archived)

too many carbs
I had a coffee though, thats alright isnt it?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:27, archived)

I didn't have toast.
And I don't believe you did either.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:31, archived)

he always makes these wild claims without any evidence AT ALL

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:33, archived)

are we friends again now?
I think I deserve an apology after your behaviour at the weekend
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:35, archived)

alright mate - we can be if you want...
I never fall out with anyone really.

Will you be my friend?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:36, archived)

nah, I'm still pretty sure you're a cunt.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:40, archived)

Oh I am.
I am a cunt.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:52, archived)

I hadn't when I started this thread but I am eating some even as I type this post

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:47, archived)

prove it. Fucko.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:48, archived)

yeah, I stopped caring like 20 minutes ago soz

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:56, archived)

jews and queers mostly

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:39, archived)

Nah
Someone's brought in a shit load of homemade indian food. It's fucking awesome.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:43, archived)

happy birthday you terrible human being
i hope you humiliate all your enemies today
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:44, archived)

I WILL MAKE THEM KNEEL BEFORE ME AND GLORY IN THE SOUND OF THEIR WOMEN WEEPING
cheers love
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:46, archived)

I hope you brought in some cheap supermarket cakes for everyone
and received a half-hearted happy birthday as people you detest picked them up barely acknowledging you.
( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:49, archived)

Nah, got the missus to make them
but yes...you tend to see people you've not seen all year.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:50, archived)

I thought you worked from home?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:17, archived)

he has a very big house

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:18, archived)

"Sorry I missed your birthday, pater. I've been in the East Wing."

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:22, archived)

There's an hour time difference between the kitchen and the master bedroom

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:27, archived)

Go die in a fire, Dr. Skagra.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:31, archived)

don't hate me for my success
hate me for my views on immigration and same sex marriage
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:33, archived)

I only hate you because you're beautiful.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:03, archived)

that's all I ask

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:09, archived)

Half and half

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:24, archived)

+ rice + chips

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:28, archived)

in your dreams, son

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:29, archived)

I do have some pretty exotic dreams, but never of untold luxuries like that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:43, archived)

did you know, from the neck down I'm completely hairless?
Like a seal.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:45, archived)

conversely there is no real distinction between where my nostril hair ends and my moustache begins
and this trend continues down my body - beard flows into chest, which flows into... well you can imagine the rest
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:50, archived)

keyword: hirsute

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:50, archived)

so it's more 'fur' than 'hair' really?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:53, archived)

it's not excessive, just prolific

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:55, archived)

I mean haha I'm not some sort of animal like manolith haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:55, archived)

haha yes he's disgusting hahah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:58, archived)

:(

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:07, archived)

Well maybe if you just smartened yourself up a bit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:09, archived)

For my birthday I got Lego Batman 3 and Stephen King's Doctor Sleep
and an Ibanez Roadstar and a PS4
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:10, archived)

how many of these did you buy for yourself?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:18, archived)

The big ticket items where all me
The other two...not sure. Probably me.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:22, archived)

don't try to change me, baby

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:26, archived)

All that hair covering your handsome face

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:30, archived)

happy vaginal extraction day!
remember, mike and the mechanics on Sat night x x x
( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:46, archived)

Woohoo!!!
Original lineup I hope! *crosses fingers*
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:51, archived)

oh man I didn't read this properly and for a minute there I thought vaginal extraction had got back together for a reunion tour

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:19, archived)

They're no Faecal Discharge

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:23, archived)

                 , 
                (_) 
                |-|
                | |
                | |
               .| |. 
              |'---'|
              |~  ~~|
          .-@'|  ~  |'@-.
         (@    '---'    @)
         |'-@..__@__..@-'|
      () |~  ~ ~ ~     ~ | ()
     .||'| ~() ~   ~ ()~ |'||.
    ( || @'-||.__~__.||-'@ || )
    |'-.._  ||   @   ||  _..-'|
    |~ ~  '''---------'''  ~  |
    |  ~  ~  H A P P Y ~  ~  ~|
    | ~   B I R T H D A Y ~ ~ |
     '-.._ T W O H A T S _..-'
          '''---------'''

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:48, archived)

AWESOME!
Cheers mush
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:51, archived)

I actually made you a cake at the weekend. Lemon drizzle.
And when I say 'you' i mean 'someone else', but still, that was nice of me.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:52, archived)

I really appreciate it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:56, archived)

beautiful

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:51, archived)

this stuff is amazing
the woman who made this is a fucking genius
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:56, archived)

I wouldn't eat home made indian food, those people have poor hygiene standards
you're probably eating bangladeshi tagnuts, eanjoy your salmonella
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:02, archived)

When it tastes this good, I couldn't give a shit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:04, archived)

A UKIP government will see an end to foreign foods.
It'll be all turnips, after the election.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:06, archived)

They'll still allow chicken tikka pukka pies though, right?
I mean, they're not really foreign are they?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:08, archived)

Depends on Jamie Oliver making a good case at his hearing, I should think.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:14, archived)

we're doomed

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:14, archived)

'Adobe' is pronounced 'A-Doh-Bee', right?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:07, archived)

Ay-dohb

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:08, archived)

which is arabic for happy birthday

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:09, archived)

fanx mush

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:13, archived)

yes
unless you're Scouse Mike in which case it's just "A-Dobe"
(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:10, archived)

That's what our IT guy calls it
It's setting my teeth on edge, Frank
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:11, archived)

I hope he's buying the latest copy of ImageReady

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 11:30, archived)

alright

       {
      {   }
       }_{ __{
    .-{   }   }-.
   (   }     {   )  
   |`-.._____..-'|  
   |             ;--.
   |F U C K I N (__  \
   |             | )  )
   |C O F F E E  |/  /
   |             /  /
   | I N N I T  (  /
   \             /'
    `-.._____..-'

(#1, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:11, archived)

that smells good, #1

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:13, archived)

shit yeah coffee

(Synchromesh gearbox, overhead cam, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 10:15, archived)

mornright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:11, archived)

Mr h

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:22, archived)

spasticfly

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:28, archived)

HIVman 2: Anal Assassin

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:29, archived)

Rhino Rape 73: Flubber

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:30, archived)

Call of Booty: Advanced Wankfare

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:33, archived)

Colon McGay Ramming

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:53, archived)

fucking hell

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:56, archived)

Ahoy hoy

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:31, archived)

twatters

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:32, archived)

aling

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:32, archived)

My ding

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:34, archived)

I want you to play with my ding-a-ling?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 8:50, archived)

9/11

( $$ ✅, Wed 4 Mar 2015, 9:01, archived)

morning
Sod it, I'm off to bed. Too much late-night crystallography.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 4 Mar 2015, 0:54, archived)

sympathy reply.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 4 Mar 2015, 7:08, archived)

Guyrim

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:00, archived)

Dragqueenborn

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:06, archived)

The Gaybeards

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:07, archived)

Faghagravens

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:07, archived)

fus blow dah or summat

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:24, archived)

or bummat, more like

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:36, archived)

Ballout

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:08, archived)

wait i've got a better one

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:10, archived)

Team17's Superfrot

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:11, archived)

by the same studio
sperms
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:56, archived)

sensiballs sucker.
i cant think of a good one for alien breed.
( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:03, archived)

gaylien, for fuck's sake

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:08, archived)

yeah haha

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:11, archived)

Guyrim

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:20, archived)

knights of the old rebumdick

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:35, archived)

indianal jones and the fuck of atlantis
:/
( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:22, archived)

full frottle

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 23:02, archived)

Browneye 007

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:38, archived)

Super Mario Bummers

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:47, archived)

Kinkey Dong

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:48, archived)

the bellend of zelda

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:50, archived)

Penile Fantasy

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:51, archived)

super bummerman

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:55, archived)

mangyna blaster

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:26, archived)

Wee Sports

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:49, archived)

Space InGAYders

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:51, archived)

Pleasure Flute Larry

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:53, archived)

Gay of the Exploding Fist

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:54, archived)

iGAY+

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:56, archived)

Mortal Cumbutt

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:58, archived)

Bugger Boy

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 21:59, archived)

impossible mission(ary position)

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:06, archived)

Little Cumshooter People

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:09, archived)

Fist Poo: The Legend Continues

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:36, archived)

SmashBack (doors in)

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:03, archived)

Pokébumwank

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:10, archived)

Hemorrhoid - Revenge of Doooohhh

( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:14, archived)

i thought of that one but decided piles weren't strictly a gay thing, and not very sexy.

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:18, archived)

At my age
They're neither gay nor sexy.
( CharlesDexterWard no rush eh, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:18, archived)

yeah man tell me about it
i've been thinking of getting my anus botoxed.
( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:20, archived)

Formula One Grand Pricks

( brb bio in pussy, Tue 3 Mar 2015, 22:18, archived)