Good work, everyone who contributed to today's decent morning thread.
In the interests of making a complete non sequitur, what's the wildest house party you've ever attended?

Alt: which item of office furniture generates the most heat when burned?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:27, archived)

Went to a pool party at Barrymores, was a bit full on

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:42, archived)

People really do freak out every time there's a floater in the pool.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:46, archived)

Noel's

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:48, archived)

I thought you were looking a bit blobby.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:51, archived)

Wigan Casino all nighter

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:51, archived)

"When asked about receiving a blowjob under a table in Wigan Casino, Lemmy replied: 'True - ahhhh, misspent youth...'"

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:53, archived)

Lemmy must've been into his 30's when Northern Soul was on the go.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:58, archived)

you mad bastard

( $$ ✅, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 11:13, archived)

^chicken oriental

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 11:15, archived)

I love all orientals

( $$ ✅, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 11:27, archived)

Morning

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 7:56, archived)

Fuck you

(dozers You big spazzer!, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 7:57, archived)

Two Hat writes a 'morning', and a swear is there

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:21, archived)

Oi, pack it in

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:52, archived)

house of pain strikey

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:09, archived)

Morning
Something I've noticed, liek, is that when you don't drink in the evening, the evening itself seems to go on 4 eva. Last night I made dinner for the week, watched some stuff online, answered some e-mails and thought "Phew, it must be nearly time for bed with all that." It was a quarter past eight.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:03, archived)

Still freaks my nut out to this day

( H.B.Mupps, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:34, archived)

faced with the prospect of another 30-40 years of that you can see why some people see suicide as a viable option

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)

Well, quite.
The balancing act is finding something to occupy my time that feels neither like working nor like faffing around.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:21, archived)

Nah, still goes bastard quick for me.
I think part of the problem is I don't eat until I'm hungry, which is sometimes round 10pm.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:21, archived)

Morning, Two 'ats
Morning, twats
( H.B.Mupps, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:33, archived)

Mupps

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:52, archived)

good morning

( $$ ✅, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:41, archived)

How polite!
And good morning to YOU, young man!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:53, archived)

he was windmilling his nob around while he said it tho

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:08, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8119781
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:09, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8119797
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:27, archived)

Goody moorny

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:43, archived)

Is this scandanavian or summat

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:53, archived)

Its fuck you is what it is

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:56, archived)

giblets

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:46, archived)

sexy

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:54, archived)

i sincerely have no idea why i typed that
but i think it sums everything up
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:06, archived)

It is, by far, not the stupidest thing posted here today

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:10, archived)

good point

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:18, archived)

You're starting Christmas early.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:54, archived)

When I worked for Clintons
christmas started the last week of july. By the time it rolled around, I was utterly sick of it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:55, archived)

FFS, that's worse than LIDL.
I suppose they don't sell many Hallowe'en cards, but still.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:56, archived)

Want to have the fun sucked out of every single occasion?
Work for a greeting cards company
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:58, archived)

or, be faced with the downright ghoulish
'Sincerest Condolences on the passing of your child'. I mean, who wouldn't just LOVE to recieve that in the post.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:59, archived)

the card or the child?
because either way; not i
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:08, archived)

yikes

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:10, archived)

To fit in an envelope, the child would have to have been an untimely victim of the Hydraulic Press Channel.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:13, archived)

is that still going?
that guy really struck gold
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:20, archived)

Dunno, haven't heard it mentioned much recently.
I think the guy may have stopped when he realised he'd become a meme.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:32, archived)

i think he may have jumped the shark
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lg4zLIobTY
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:38, archived)

Yeah
Not exactly a surprising result, is it.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:42, archived)

I still like the Slingshot Channel.
That bloke's professionally mental.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:45, archived)

My kids like Backyard Scientist and Slow-Mo Guys
there
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:48, archived)

You're starting that's
early sorted
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)

oh hi

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:47, archived)

Now, is this 'oh hi! Great to see you!'
or 'oh hi. I was hoping you might not turn up today'
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 8:54, archived)

It's "I did not hit her, I did not. Oh hi, Mark."

( $$ ✅, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:03, archived)

I have never seen that

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:04, archived)

It's absolute dog shit
I'm not one of the people that think it's so shit it's good.
( $$ ✅, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:07, archived)

i'm glad i've seen it, but i can't imagine why some people want to devote their lives to it

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:09, archived)

There are films that really strike a chord with people, I guess
When I was at college, I said that Blade Runner was 'ok, but it didn't blow me away' and there was one guy who looked like he was going to punch me.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:13, archived)

gayed bummer, i call it
i don't call it that, but i am similarly unbothered about the film.
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:19, archived)

It's my dad's favourite. favourite, favourite film evar
so I didn't really have an objective experience watching it the first time. Still liked it, though.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:20, archived)

my dad's favourite film was jfk
i've never seen it
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:23, archived)

My step-dad's favourite film is The Goonies
I have seen it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:24, archived)

'My Dad's favourite film' is a brilliant idea for a thread
We ought to save this for when more people are around, really
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:24, archived)

suggest it for qotw

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:25, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8119818
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:27, archived)

ah,
but have you step-seen it?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:26, archived)

woah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:27, archived)

it seems i've decided to just post whatever my first thought is, today
no matter the inanity
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:28, archived)

I'm not sure my dad even has a favourite film

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:27, archived)

i'm not sure you even have a dad

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:27, archived)

oh shit
who's going to collect my daughter from school today then?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:30, archived)

it's me m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:36, archived)

your dad's best friend
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:39, archived)

"comedy hip-hop"?
move over Kunt
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:49, archived)

get entirely fucked
the rubberbandits are brilliant
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:22, archived)

Ask him
Text him right now, and ask him
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:28, archived)

he says you should fuck off back to qotw

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:39, archived)

Your dad is mongy????

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:41, archived)

I've never even seen it
looks like some sci-fi nonsense
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:22, archived)

running on blades sounds very dangerous

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:24, archived)

it's actually a brand name and should be called inlinerunner

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:28, archived)

i remember back in the days when each videogame purchase was a big deal that required the saving of pocket money, etc
i bought a game called 'gridrunner' for the ps1 and it was a massive disappointment. what a waste of a trip to ross records in north end. i could have had tomb raider 2 or parappa the rapper
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:37, archived)

I think you need to move on from this and focus on the future

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:02, archived)

If you watch it for the blade-studying, you're going to be disappointed.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:34, archived)

yes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:04, archived)

Jump up jump up and get down

( mongychops, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:03, archived)

Ugh, maybe later

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:03, archived)

Prick

( mongychops, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:06, archived)

rude

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:06, archived)

Wanker

( mongychops, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:23, archived)

and then can I get back into my seat again?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:05, archived)

Wanker

( mongychops, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:06, archived)

well
really
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:08, archived)

Prick

( mongychops, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:24, archived)

JUMP, JUMP, JUMP, JUMP
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:21, archived)

Once again back it's the incredible

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:26, archived)

So it is

( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:42, archived)

Well that's that, I suppose

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 9:59, archived)

same time tomorrow?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:03, archived)

cock sniff

( $$ ✅, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 10:04, archived)

This place could use more SickRik threads.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 18:03, archived)

Why?

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 18:30, archived)

As Prime Minister, I disagree.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 18:42, archived)

In many ways, I hope he dies
Or at least, never comes back here
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 18:52, archived)

motion carried

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 18:53, archived)

I hope he dies
surrounded by loved ones in full knowledge of a life well lived.
( Foxglove -- it all ends in tears anyway..., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 18:56, archived)

Bit bent

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 20:03, archived)

Turbo bent.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 20:07, archived)

Well
that's just not nice.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 3 Oct 2017, 7:26, archived)

I hope that spanishfly and him become flatmates, and hilariously zany escapades ensue!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 19:13, archived)

hello Dave Trouser

( vladimir, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 19:21, archived)

Alright vlad

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 19:22, archived)

alright mongy

( vladimir, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 19:24, archived)

Yeah mate

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 19:45, archived)

Hi DT

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 20:00, archived)

HO DT HO

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 20:02, archived)

Alright Mongy the moocher

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 20:03, archived)

When cab calloway died myself and around 8 other mates went out in black armbands, some mexican club made of wood, it's in the book

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 20:10, archived)

Cab was a proper legend

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 20:21, archived)

Is JMG still on here?and shambles
Also boudicca
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:20, archived)

Shambles is banned.
So is Amorous Badger.
(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:23, archived)

haha, "everyone's dead luke", like in that thing

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:27, archived)

Wearing light-colored hosiery like that makes your legs look larger. Do you know that?

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:28, archived)

No, no, yes

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:29, archived)

yes, yes, no

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:30, archived)

Maybe, maybe, maybe
I was joking
When I said that I was running out on you
Maybe, maybe

I could be wrong, so wrong
I could be wrong, so wrong
I could be wrong
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:34, archived)

lol Orange sex Pest

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:35, archived)

who, who and who?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:37, archived)

Whooey Lewis and the News

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 16:01, archived)

It's hip to be a complete cunt!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 16:10, archived)

I want a new cunt, one that won't itch

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 16:11, archived)

That's a shower of cunts

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 16:13, archived)

look at how nerdy his band were
media.gettyimages.com/photos/keyboardist-sean-hopper-bassist-mario-cipollina-rhythm-guitarist-picture-id527702908
( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 16:17, archived)

Huey was the coolest one, by far
almost certainly by design
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 16:19, archived)

hello sickrik

( vladimir, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 19:20, archived)

No sickrick thread

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:15, archived)

Shit prick I call him

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:23, archived)

...
Who wants to play with my peepee?
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:07, archived)

Is the answer "No one"?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:08, archived)

lol dunno lol

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:11, archived)

haha fp this

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:13, archived)

Kunt

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:12, archived)

you do

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:26, archived)

quiet

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:29, archived)

Careful now.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:30, archived)

Let me have silence always in the center of the shouting, that is essential. Let me have silence so that no pin may drop, but not be heard, and not a whisper escape us for all our spouting, nor the needle scratching upon this gramophone of a circular cosmic spot.
Hear me, mark me, learn me, throw the mind's ear open.
Shut up the mind's eye, all will be music.
What sculpture of sound cannot.
What cannot as a fluid token, words that nothing else cannot.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:31, archived)

+ are we led it off the road.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:52, archived)

quite

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:31, archived)

Member bjork eh, member

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:35, archived)

if the hood don't love me, no one will

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:40, archived)

Bum titty bum titty titty bum bum

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:40, archived)

goodness gracious etc

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:45, archived)

Especially if we've sold all the pigs ears.
Very quiet for them.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:41, archived)

bummers are deaf

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:46, archived)

pardon?

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:47, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:47, archived)

Eh?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:47, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:55, archived)

That explains Elton John's output since the early 80's then

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:49, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:55, archived)

You've cheapened lol
Like the middle aged mother on Facebook you are
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:56, archived)

He'll be posting minions memes any day now.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:57, archived)

lol

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:03, archived)

wot?

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:49, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:55, archived)

lol

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:56, archived)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:01, archived)

It is a bit
Might put some iron maiden on.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:52, archived)

First two albums or gtfo

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:55, archived)

Anyone been listening to the R1 Vintage popup station?
Been some good stuff on there.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:55, archived)

I'm a bit fucked off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:07, archived)

Why might that be?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:08, archived)

Calm down
Dear
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 15:09, archived)

I dunno, did anyone do anything nice at the weekend?
I saw my mother AND my grandmother! Imagine that!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:39, archived)

So they haven't disowned you yet?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:41, archived)

I went bowing on Saturday but couldn't play pool as it was too busy, so we went yesterday at 11am to shoot pool at the alley , got my haircut too

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:43, archived)

I also went here , bottom comment is correct
www.newsshopper.co.uk/leisure/latest/15564716.Is_there_anything_right_with_the_Wrong__Un__PubSpy_heads_to_Bexleyheath/
( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:05, archived)

lol

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:06, archived)

My boss was in France, he told me this morning that he'd wanted to go to shart, but missed the shart turn off and ended up in Paris
think my boss might be mcbeef
( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:44, archived)

lol shart.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:45, archived)

lol

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:46, archived)

Who's the cat won't make the bog, when he needs to drop a log

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:46, archived)

damn straight

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:54, archived)

And to make matters worse, some kid burnt his neck.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:25, archived)

backflip 180

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:45, archived)

Saw the orig Total Recall at the cinema, reggae night Saturday, cooked a really nice jamacian/indian fusion curry Sunday.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:45, archived)

I think I have been to that same brothel you know

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:45, archived)

I saw my mother AND my father AND my uncle AND my sister
do I win a prize?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:46, archived)

you get to kiss two hats on the knoblet

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:51, archived)

can confirm

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:52, archived)

the aristocrats!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:53, archived)

+ed up

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:05, archived)

I did a shitload of pointless gardening
And drank gin
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:54, archived)

what was pointless about it?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:55, archived)

She trimmed Richard Osman's hedge

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:02, archived)

I've heard that Alexander Armstrong's borders need doing

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:03, archived)

It was pointless
Because it involved sweeping up elderberries and leaves, which will just continue to drop for weeks.
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 14:51, archived)

Yes, I saw the exhibition at the Hunterian & bought some tea.

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:01, archived)

sounds bent

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:02, archived)

The cashier did seem a bit 'light on his feet'

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:07, archived)

Helped a friend move house and got to smash her banister so she could get her bed down.
Then went to see a friend who's moving to the South for a few months and is getting rid of most of her worldly goods, so I got a microwave, a measuring jug, a kitchen trolley, a stapler, a hole punch, a tin opener and a Jew's harp off her. Oh, and a book about vocal technique.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:12, archived)

The only bit I read was 'and got to smash her banister'

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:14, archived)

Yeah, well, that says a lot more about you than it does about me, m'h'8.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:15, archived)

false

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:16, archived)

Yeah OK fair enough.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:17, archived)

She should've given the harp back to its rightful owner.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:18, archived)

Ironically, she does have Jewish heritage,
so the harp might have been hers in the first place.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:19, archived)

I reckon that managing to shoot more than 250 people all by yourself is pretty impressive

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:22, archived)

ooh ooh wow you're so edgy wow

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:24, archived)

How so? I'm just saying that in a state with a fairly relaxed attitude to bearing arms, you'd think the legendary "good guy with a gun" would have taken the shooter down fairly quickly.
Unless, of course, the whole NRA argument is massively flawed and only mentally ill people are happy to amass large collections of life-ending machinery, oh
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:31, archived)

This is, of course, the logical flaw that renders the second amendment pointless.
The corollary to the right to bear arms is that you should be able to put those arms to use in the defence of life, limb or property should the need arise. Instead of running around like headless chickens who've had no training in actual combat situations (which is systematically the case, thanks to Nevada's lazy attempt at gun laws).
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:34, archived)

Still, facebook has just sold another 50 thousand "thoughts and prayers 10/2" profile picture overlays, every cloud eh

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:46, archived)

That's the spirit
No massive loss of life is a complete tragedy if it gives big corporations the chance to spy on us even more easily.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:49, archived)

Zuckerberg directly supports ISIS, wake up sheepul

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 13:03, archived)

Kind of a strange position for a Jewish guy, but there you go.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 13:07, archived)

don't forget that jews did 9/11 though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 13:22, archived)

Alright, Richard mcbeef.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 13:23, archived)

That's what he wants you to think

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 13:24, archived)

Depends on what kill streaks you get

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:27, archived)

never be an active shooter of my heart

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 12:41, archived)

No

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 13:12, archived)

Turns out they're the same person!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 13:29, archived)

No need to fuck off...
Just wanted to share...

https://i.imgur.com/Fad0ufE.png



https://i.imgur.com/Ms6cbcq.png
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:13, archived)

spibble

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:19, archived)

Gribble

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:20, archived)

how trumpton stole christmas

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:26, archived)

To fuck yourself

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:29, archived)

this kind of thing is why people are reluctant to interact with you

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:30, archived)

It's ok. There is no one here that i would really miss.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:31, archived)

other websites are available

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:33, archived)

You are shitting me?

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:35, archived)

You're my hero

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:32, archived)

I am not going to suck your willy

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:33, archived)

cool

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:33, archived)

Dribble

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:35, archived)

Fuck off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 7:51, archived)

Rude.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 7:52, archived)

Fuck off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:14, archived)

Rude.

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:35, archived)

Alright wibble

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 7:53, archived)

He seems a bit upset.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 7:56, archived)

fuck off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:15, archived)

Dribble

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:09, archived)

How shall we fuck off, O Lord?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 7:54, archived)

Fuck off.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:15, archived)

They don't make em like they used to

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 8:14, archived)

Fuck
Off
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:15, archived)

I'll show you mine if you show me yours

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 8:15, archived)

I do need to see yours first though

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 8:15, archived)

Fuck off!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:15, archived)

Ok

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 8:19, archived)

Fuck
off
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:16, archived)

don't you fucking dare

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:16, archived)

Great trousers. Made by old B3tans.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 8:51, archived)

Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life.

( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 9:29, archived)

FUCK OFF

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:16, archived)

no u

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:19, archived)

No u
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:21, archived)

K

( broadsword w⚓, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 9:04, archived)

Fukk off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:16, archived)

Do you feel growing up in W-ton shaped your sense of humour?
Totally. My sense of humour hasn't moved on since the playground. I still find "you're gay" jokes funny.
( $$ ✅, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:02, archived)

Fuck
Off!!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:16, archived)

Who is your favourite piece of Jailbait in history? Natalie Portman in Leon or Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver? Or maybe there are others?
Ian Beale's daughter. I've consulted my team of lawyers and it's OK as long as you stick with them until they are legal.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:32, archived)

oh god
who said this?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:00, archived)

Apparently it was Kunt,
he of Gang fame.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:04, archived)

Ok
Imma fuck off and make a chocolate cake
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:05, archived)

Fuck off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:17, archived)

Knob it
Knob it you fucker
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:39, archived)

I have

( mongychops, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 10:52, archived)

Spanishfly fly self love thread
Last night while playing poker. I gambled £40 on betfred slot machines on line.

£10 spin...first spin...£1075

Second £10 spin...£2,550.

Thanks
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 22:29, archived)

and then what happened

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 23:51, archived)

You won't believe what happened next!

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 23:55, archived)

ack,
no point finding out then, is there
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 23:58, archived)

5k lost on third spin

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 0:04, archived)

Cashed out for £3,200
Also go fuck yourself
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 3:29, archived)

Well done
A preprogrammed random number generator landed on a value that triggered a victory condition. Mad skills on your part there
( H.B.Mupps, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 7:36, archived)

I didn't say it was skillful you fucking weapon

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 2 Oct 2017, 11:00, archived)

New thread.
THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICES THE LOVELY ARTIFUS!
Turns out I was too drunk to realise that I just needed to overwrite the defaults with my newer saved stuff.
:/
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 12:58, archived)

i can tell already that this is going to be a contender for thread of the year

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 13:40, archived)

the great contender - great song that
lol
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:37, archived)

Wait, that's a thing now The LOVELY Beardolith?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:25, archived)

the awards ceremony will be "interesting"

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:37, archived)

Can we get baldmonkey to compere?
BALDMONKEY FOR B3TA AWARDS HOST!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 17:35, archived)

compere the meerkat dotcom

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 18:58, archived)

Just don't ask me to do it
As I'm currently enjoying a large gin and tonic
( Smash Monkey 2 The damp spastic, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 19:26, archived)

should be

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 17:02, archived)

I went to Swindon to look at a motorbike
It was an absolute fucking shit mess waste of time. I hate swindon
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 1 Oct 2017, 13:44, archived)

I went to Swindon with work a couple of months ago
Highlights of the trip were:
A brand spanking new NHS walk-in centre
Decent Wetherspoons
A building in the centre with life size mini's stuck on the outside of the walls
The people seemed very friendly for southerners
( C, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 13:56, archived)

Its a fucking hole

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:28, archived)

I've been to Jaywick and Rhyl...
...Swindon seems quite nice in comparison
( C, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:37, archived)

I think Swindon centre is probably alright,
It's the horrific surrounding little towns and stuff that are like a stain on Wiltshire
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:47, archived)

I had many good nights out in That Swindon with The LOVELY Laura Tobin AND The LOVELY Bee (Don't call me Rebecca. EVER.) Tucker The LOVELY Win Pug.
But yeah, That Swindon IS a more than a bit shit now they've left.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:19, archived)

So Marilyn Manson has been crushed by his own prop gun.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41458046
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 13:49, archived)

He's also a wanker

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:28, archived)

You're not wrong.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:29, archived)

And a prick.
Does he still have boobs?
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 15:16, archived)

Nah, for one thing he was the smartest 'talking head' on Bowling For Columbine.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 17:36, archived)

He is indeed a wanker.
(dozers You big spazzer!, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:55, archived)

I think he's just trying to copy Fee out of The Tubes.
He always has amps and stuff fall on him when they do White Punks On Dope
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:20, archived)

go team spiders
nuff said
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:36, archived)

(^(^;;^)^) TA THE LOVELY WOODKOVSKY!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:21, archived)

I am on an aeroplane but apparently German air traffic control is broken so we are not going anywhere.
Can't see anything on the news websites yet so feel free to break the story.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:48, archived)

i thought you'd already been on your holidays this year,
or was that last year
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:55, archived)

We went to Lisbon at Easter.
And cornwall in the Summer although I really don't think that counts.
This one was rather last minute.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:57, archived)

yeah Lesbian that was it,
what's wrong with Blackpool, kids today
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 15:08, archived)

Sorry to hear that The LOVELY 2 Can.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:21, archived)

Been sat here for 2 and a half hours now. Another 30 minutes and I think I get compensation.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:28, archived)

or constipation lol

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:31, archived)

check the wording on their reasons
they can wriggle out of it if the fault is out of their control, apparently
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:38, archived)

We ended up leaving 2 hours and 56 minutes late. Pricks

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 23:11, archived)

as long as you didn't piss in your wardrobe, you weren't too drunk

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 15:52, archived)

*Checks*
Ta The LOVELY Smashy. Turns out I didn't piss in my wardrobe. But some dirty bastard has. And when I find out who did it... *Shakes fist*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:24, archived)

wring those slippers out before you put them on

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:26, archived)

Destroyed a handrail, got a free microwave.
Today has been a good day.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:19, archived)

HUZZAH!
Well done The LOVELY ARRRR EFF!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:25, archived)

Thx bbz xxx

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 16:50, archived)

Mary Anne Hobbs just read out a birthday message to Drew Peacock.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 8:23, archived)

Peter Cockhead once got featured on the local news in Aberdeen and when they cut back to the studio the presenter was trying to compose herself.
If you look him up on LinkedIn then the sidebar of suggested connections features Lisa Wank, Garth Brownsword, and Randy Bumgardner.
(dozers You big spazzer!, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 8:28, archived)

Ell oh ell.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 8:28, archived)

lol

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 12:50, archived)

Lol

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 13:24, archived)

Princeton University professor Peter Singer, who authored “Animal Liberation” four decades ago, has argued that bestiality may be acceptable if the animal is into it. “Sex with animals does not always involve cruelty,” he writes. “Who has not been at a social occasion disrupted by the household dog gripping the legs of a visitor and vigorously rubbing its penis against them? The host usually discourages such activities, but in private not everyone objects to being used by her or his dog in this way, and occasionally mutually satisfying activities may develop.”
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 10:14, archived)

pretty sure Peter Singer is just using the medium of philosophy to troll liberals

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 13:39, archived)

we've got a book by him in the house,
i opened it at random once and he was going on about how it's acceptable to abort not just foetuses, but toddlers up to the age of about 2 or 3
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 13:41, archived)

I'd be up for a 212nd trimester abortion for Farage.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 13:43, archived)

He should share a column with Katie Hopkins, or something

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 14:06, archived)

You ain't gotta like it 'cause the hood gone love it

( $$ ✅, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 10:58, archived)

Are you doing anything exciting tonight?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:01, archived)

No.

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:03, archived)

Yes

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:09, archived)

no

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:09, archived)

Depends.
Are you coming round?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:10, archived)

Yes!
Well, I've made pizza's (which gave me a chance to use my modified Kenwood Chef mixer AND my electric pizza oven), and it looks like I might make it to bed by 21:00, so actually not that exciting, but at least I'm not at work...
( C, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:30, archived)

pics or gtfo
( sock more tea vicar?, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 21:09, archived)

Pizza's

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 21:45, archived)

proper use of apostrophe's like mcbeef, amirite guy's?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 21:53, archived)

Sorry
Liquors had drunkened me and I used an apostrophe incorrectly, in the manner of a greengrocer :-(
( C, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 8:50, archived)

no

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:33, archived)

yes

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:48, archived)

dunno

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 20:55, archived)

might have a wank, not sure yet

( sock more tea vicar?, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 21:07, archived)

At this point you both did and did not have a wank.
Schrödinger's wank.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 22:47, archived)

the best kind of wank

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 22:52, archived)

no

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 21:46, archived)

yes

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 23:33, archived)

no

( vladimir, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 23:52, archived)

yes

( vladimir, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 23:52, archived)

no

( vladimir, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 23:53, archived)

yes

( vladimir, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 23:53, archived)

nes

( vladimir, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 23:53, archived)

yo

( vladimir, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 23:53, archived)

teh

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 23:58, archived)

I spent about 12 hours* saving ALL my files to my external HD cos my Vaio keeps spaccing up.
Then another 6 hours porting them back to the Vaio only to find that it 'doesn't recognise them'
So, now I'm gonna go and smash the fuck out of a Sony store.
*1 in the pub after hitting start.
*2 drinking at home and fucking about on the playstation after hitting Start again.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 1 Oct 2017, 0:25, archived)

:(
www.piriform.com/recuva ?
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 1 Oct 2017, 0:52, archived)

Big Poker night at Spanishflys house tonight
This is an open invite to all of /talk to attend

See you there.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 12:04, archived)

cant make.it. soz. family biznas
edit your invite to strip poker for more attendees
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 12:38, archived)

Sorry I have plans.
Just bought a bottle of cherry brandy in sainsburys and the checkout lady asked "what are you going to do with that then?".
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 13:06, archived)

A couple of months ago I was buying 4 bottles of wine and the checkout lady asked if it was my turn to cook, when I said "no, why?" She said "because a lot of people buy wine to use in recipes".

I mean FFS, whilst I know wine is often used in cooking, what recipe calls for 4 fucking bottles of Mateus!
( C, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 13:49, archived)

I was going to make a nice glass of myofb

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 15:15, archived)

Ok cool just post your address up here so I know where I'm going xx

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 13:19, archived)

I'd rather have dinner round Suggs' house.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 14:52, archived)

i've just been paid for the first time since march
not gonna gamble it all away just yet but thanks for the offer
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 15:01, archived)

soz, got a date

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 15:40, archived)

can't
i'm busy doing anything but that
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 15:46, archived)

Alright Meatloaf

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 15:51, archived)

I'm watching Mr Oizo's film about a psychokinetic car tyre.
Hope your Friday evening is at least as good as mine.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 21:04, archived)

Shit I didn't know they'd made it into a film! Is it true to the book ?

( mongychops, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 21:20, archived)

The stage musical was the superior version, if you ask me.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 21:24, archived)

I fucking didn't, think you want /stage version of Mr Oizo's film about a psychokinetic car tyre

( mongychops, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 21:47, archived)

The Michael Bay remake will be better

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 21:38, archived)

Oh, it is the same one that did flat beat.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 22:29, archived)

That's him.
Surprisingly good film. Flat Beat was wank, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 22:33, archived)

He has made loads of good records

(dozers You big spazzer!, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 7:36, archived)

I'm really tired

( vladimir, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 0:01, archived)

more like WHEELY tired

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 8:12, archived)

UPDATE: went to sleep, don't feel tired now
sharing this helpful tip in case of use to other board members
( vladimir, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 8:51, archived)

hey, me too!

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 9:42, archived)

Rubber, been meaning to watch that for yonks

( broadsword w⚓, Sat 30 Sep 2017, 6:45, archived)

They've replaced all the lamp post lights with led round here, I miss the glowing orange orb's of sodium lighting, just thought I'd mention it, life eh

( mongychops, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 20:19, archived)

It's a funny old game!

(dozers You big spazzer!, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 20:35, archived)

Posh cunt
They just switched all the streetlights off round here because they cost money to run and the council's skint it's better for the environment.
( C, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 20:37, archived)

They tried that here in sarf east lahndahn, it was like trying to get home to coney island everynight

( mongychops, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 20:45, archived)

It gives better light for the cctv to see you buying gak

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 29 Sep 2017, 20:57, archived)

I find the light spread poor, ok for the roads, shit on the pavement

( mongychops, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 21:02, archived)

I keep thinking a car's coming round the corner
cos the glow's the same colour as headlights
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 20:58, archived)

Alright mics, sounds like being an international bomb maker for terrorists is still nervous stuff

( mongychops, Fri 29 Sep 2017, 21:04, archived)