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# There's little new in the QOTW suggestions thread
What would you like for a QOTW this week? Please add some suggestions here and I'll come back later and do a vote thing.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:13, archived)
# Problems with parsnips.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:15, archived)
# When a cow laughs does milk come out its nose ?
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:18, archived)
# "What would you like for a QOTW this week?"
(1.618..., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:19, archived)
# 'The funniest thing I ever saw in public.'
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:20, archived)
# a tramp shouting at a teddy bear in a shop window
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:22, archived)
# A heavy-set black guy in New York having a one-sided conversation with a movie poster.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:24, archived)
# ...or was it the other way round ..find out after the break
(custy chrome i like weird stuff, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:24, archived)
# Atomic will be all over that.
And the tramp will be Hitler, or the nun.

Or both.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:25, archived)
# Saw a tramp take a shit in front of the Queen once
She wasn't amused.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:03, archived)
# Bus with loads of passengers on it which just said "Sorry"
(1.618..., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:29, archived)
# Pfffft!
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:43, archived)
# Has lighting your own farts ever backfired?
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:21, archived)
# Legions of Internet types are protesting against copyright legislation. What have you protested against (laws, parental orders as a kid, the boss not letting you have a day off) and did you ever succeed?
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:21, archived)
# I was out last night handing out "Sack Boris" oyster card holders at the local tube
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:54, archived)
# sack boris........


(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:01, archived)
# Theories on how Sherlock faked his own death
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:21, archived)
# watson positioned in the right place, the jump, truck with rubbish, decoy bike, concushion, the ol' switch aroo..


oh and *SPOILERS*
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:28, archived)
# I assumed...
That he'd got Molly to help create a realistic prosthesis of his face, then after Moriarty died he affixed said lifelike face, then positioned him on the ledge and moved his arms realistically from behind whilst on the phone to John. From John's position on the street looking up it was realistic enough, it was realistic enough when he saw him up close on the pavement but was kept back by the crowd, then Molly could tidy up the paperwork without any questions.

Of course that's just my theory, it's probably full of holes and I don't frequent any forums on the subject so I'm sure this has been suggested before!
(I helped save b3ta! JebediahSpringfield, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:31, archived)
# Enlightenment. What did you suddenly realise on your road to Damascus, or da pub?
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:22, archived)
# When was the last time you checked to see how many fingers you can fit up your arse
(custy chrome i like weird stuff, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:22, archived)
# Geese. Well do they?
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:24, archived)
# Death
What's it like?
(I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:25, archived)
# it's like that time before you were born
remember that? Nope.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:50, archived)
# Death
Is like being on holiday with a group of Germans
(I helped save b3ta! Inigo Montoya Would wear you like a hat. A HAT!!!, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:44, archived)
# Whats the best thing that ever happened to you?
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:26, archived)
# finding out i can fit three fingers up me ane..without cryin
(custy chrome i like weird stuff, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:27, archived)
# My dad's sperm met my mum's egg
rather than being one of the billions that were flushed down the loo
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:49, archived)
# Ha! My potential maternal twin was swallowed by a midget in a gimp suit
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:05, archived)
# I have killed ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:07, archived)
# What odd things really freak you out?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:28, archived)
# when i tried four fingers
(custy chrome i like weird stuff, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:29, archived)
# ahhh, the Kit-Kat gambit
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:31, archived)
# A friend once saw a tiny "8 inch" man piloting (about 4 feet off the ground) what he described as tiny(garishly painted)-tin-toy rocket down a disused railway on summer afternoon
What bat-shit-utterly-brain-wrong-glitches have you seen that might convince you that reality is just a rather thin veil, and it can all go a bit wrong sometimes.

Edit: The ^above^ is a true story, oddly this was the same summer as a the £1-in-the-face experience of another mate, so maybe 1997 was just an odd year.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:28, archived)
# I saw a ghost cat once
that walked across my bedroom and faded out. Door shut - no cat in the room.

However I assume that's something to do with poor light and my brain filling in the blanks rather than there being a spirit plane filled with dead pets.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:52, archived)
# Or the fact that real cats can bend time & space / reality to their will
and you caught one red handed*

*Pawed
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:56, archived)
# I hadn't considered this possibility
it explains a lot
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:30, archived)
# The little white lie that grew
(macroscian (1 like), Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:31, archived)
# it's a good title
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:53, archived)
# your favourite recipe
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:32, archived)
# I do a good pizza dough
it's quite easy - but something most people don't bother with - but you can get MUCH better results than buying bases from the supermarket.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:55, archived)
# I use garlic and coriander naan breads as pizza bases.
Fusion cuisine.
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:38, archived)
# The best thing about being a kid.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:33, archived)
# endless time to read
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:55, archived)
# A full day of playing with Lego, not knowing what I was going to build
and ending up with something satisfyingly awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:21, archived)
# You get to suck a goats tits.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Kronos Go Team Pachyderm, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:21, archived)
# Yes but
goat farmers can do that as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:43, archived)
# What did you believe in as a kid?
Not the usual Santa/Religion twaddle, but the really barmy superstitions?
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:36, archived)
# There was a witch in my toilet that would try to eat me if I flushed it.
A fucking witch in the fucking toilet!

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:41, archived)
# I like this a lot.
Also, childhood rumours.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:45, archived)
# That if I stayed outside and played for long enough, the sun would stay up.
Not knowing at the time, that if THAT happened, the world would shake itself apart, there'd be tsunamis, earthquakes, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:46, archived)
# I belived that vaginas were holes that went in at a right angle to the vertical of the human body
I also believed that girls peed out of their bottoms.

Basically I didn't know much about vaginas and guessed a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:48, archived)
# Re: Right angle
ME TOOO!!

*high fives*

Edit: and I don't know about you but based on the available physical evidence within my experience at the time it was an entirely reasonable inference.
(I helped save b3ta! Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:50, archived)
# I thought they were a tube a bit like the end of the queen's egg sac in Aliens.
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:52, archived)
# Are they not exactly that
Just better concealed and less vulnerable to flame throwers, grenades etc.?
(I helped save b3ta! Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:56, archived)
# You've obviously never put a grenade in a vagina


I swear it said love eggs on the box
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:00, archived)
# Yeah ok
There is a pan-canal vulnerability to grenades emerging.
(I helped save b3ta! Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:02, archived)
# Yeah, this.
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:21, archived)
# best lie you ever told
previous tales of sex and debaucery posted on QOTW not allowed
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:50, archived)
# aww, you mean we can't make anything up?
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:06, archived)
# So I can't tell anyone
about the time I was fucking 3 Asian women all at once, on a motorcycle, whilst shooting at helicopters piloted by the Predator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Reb Brown and Wesley Snipes?

Because that totally happened.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:17, archived)
# QOTW --->
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:20, archived)
# It did though! It really, really did!
*breaks down in tears*
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:28, archived)
# Tell us about your experience at the Apple Store grand opening
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:02, archived)
# The 30 second rewind.
You can re-run any 30 seconds of your life and do it differently. What would you choose, and how would it have changed your life?

Mine would be the first time a girl was showing an interest in me, I panicked, and made an inane joke that changed her mind on the subject. She wasn't awesome or anything, but I've spent a ridiculous amount of time since speculating what I should have said. I've also not got any better at dealing with such rare occurances, and do much the same thing out of habit...
(I helped save b3ta! prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 13:59, archived)
# preferably a question that requires a yes or no answer.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:03, archived)
# Your amazing unfinished novel
They say everyone has one in them. Give us a synopsis, working title, list of characters and how far you got writing it.
(I helped save b3ta! MisterPunch did it that way on, Wed 18 Jan 2012, 14:06, archived)