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# Dyson unveils the new Arcuri model

Creator : @IamHappyToast
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 9:09, archived)
# Ooh Hetty
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 10:30, archived)
# The only job he appears to be good at.
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 11:03, archived)
# I am so glad you didn't make the bin full at the end
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 11:07, archived)
# *Monocle Pop*
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 11:26, archived)
# Oh my!
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 12:55, archived)
# I hope that device is an efficient dust collector
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 13:28, archived)
# Shopvac. It’s a shopped vac.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 3:23, archived)
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 3:29, archived)
# Where can one purchase such a machine?
*asking for a friend
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 14:29, archived)
# If it spares poor old Henry in the ex-briefing room, it's not a bad thing
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 14:32, archived)
# Spaff...!!
Gurgle... gurgle... *sfx plug hole emptying.
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 15:02, archived)
# I reckon if dyson went into sex toys they'd be non contact but aggressively efficient, like the hand driers
cue a thousand lawsuits for penile degloving
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 18:10, archived)
# Sounds like a bloody ripoff
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 21:04, archived)
# :(
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 21:35, archived)
# Yeah if you're not careful they'll end up costing you an arm and a leg
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 22:53, archived)
# If Dyson made sex toys they would spray aerosolise spooge all around the room
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 3:57, archived)
# /pr0n screenwriters start scribbling furiously
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 7:06, archived)
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 10:21, archived)
spray aerosolise spooge all around the room fall apart inside your body.

Ex-cleaner here telling you not to use Dyson products because they're flimsy, prone to rapid unscheduled disassembly, they wear themselves out faster than any other brand of vacuum cleaner I've ever used.

They're overpriced status objects. If you want long term reliability get a Henry and a roll of gaffer tape. If you want power, get a Vax. If you want a dirty house, get a Dyson.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 13:36, archived)
# For those on a limited budget
Buy the simplest machine, basically a can with a big motor, filters and hose, most of the other gizmos are gimmicks, cheaply put together.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 14:28, archived)
# There's a Henry at the gallery I work at,
makes funny noises and has poor suction when I run it. Not a blockage...probably just needs new motor brushes, but I can never find the time to open him up to see.

He's currently in a big pile of WEEE that I'm hoping to dispose of soon. However, I suspect when the day comes, he'll get a reprieve...I just don't want that face haunting me for the rest of my days!
(, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 0:37, archived)
# I'm on my third Henry (well, this one's a Hetty)
I find the motors go pop after about 7 years although apparently they are repairable.
(, Fri 23 Apr 2021, 8:59, archived)
# Great and grim in equal measure.
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 22:28, archived)
# Vax todge
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 23:18, archived)
There is so much fucking shit about this government. But "Can my team go to the UK to build ventilators for Covid victims without being hit by extra tax" I'll let slide.

This was a potential tax on workers. Not Dyson himself, not Dyson the corp. His workers.

That is fine in the good times, but in the crisis may have stopped workers coming here to save lives. To accuse key workers of a "tax dodge" is quite disgusting.

We need to hold these people accountable. But let's do it properly.
(, Wed 21 Apr 2021, 23:45, archived)
# More worrying is the multi million pound PPE equivalents of giving ferry contracts to companies with no ships
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 0:10, archived)
# The thing about no ships is, they don’t sink.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 2:07, archived)
# Nelson can see them though
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 7:07, archived)
# but he can't see them sink
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 15:02, archived)
# Common practice
in the shipping industry.
companies set up just to do admin, hire in boats from another company.
Calmac owned by CMAL, owned by David MacBrayne Ltd owned by ScotGov etc.
I don't think anybody knows who actually owns the ferries.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 10:23, archived)
# Big Dave owns them all
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 11:45, archived)
# Do not try and find out who actually owns the ferries, that's impossible.
Instead, only try to realize the truth... There are no ferries.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 13:58, archived)
# Oh come on
Why let reality get in the way of a good narrative.

I actually think most politicians are hopelessly corruptible, but this really is a non-story. What bothers me most is a useless opposition that spent months insisting that we do everything possible to fight Covid, and then a year later start clutching their pearls because some rules were bent in fighting a pandemic. Yes money was wasted on PPE and Nightingale hospitals, a lot of money in fact, but that's what happens when you are effectively on a war footing.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 8:57, archived)
# zackly.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 10:24, archived)
yeah but...the point is, loads of non-tory party donors/brexit supporters also were mucking in to this job and presumably didn't have Fatberg's personal phone number.

And besides that, if the tax dodging "patriot" Dyson hadn't unpatriotically left the country in the first place, he wouldn't have had to ask the question, would he?
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 20:58, archived)
# Did someone say tax Dodge?

I'll be getting my coat now.
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 0:28, archived)
# Haha!
Ooops, one just pulled up outside...
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 10:24, archived)
# maybe sir would like a different mode of transportation?
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 13:48, archived)
# 1969 Honda 125 k3 I reckon
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 14:41, archived)
# hahahaha
its not the ball model is it?
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 6:43, archived)
# No
It's the one your cat rides around on
(, Thu 22 Apr 2021, 18:17, archived)