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# It's lunchtime!

I have three stilton, peppered salami, tomato, lettuce, mustard, pickle and mayonaise rolls, two bags of seasalt flavour seabrooks and a can of Irn Bru, what is your lunch for today?
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:07, archived)
# Hahahahaha!
*urinates*
chicken and bacon salad and a cup of tea . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:08, archived)
# not on me!
geez! aim for the bowl
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:08, archived)
# don't have that for lunch
eurgh!
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:09, archived)
# Hey Dave, this guy is being racist about you...burst him!
www.b3ta.com/board/4268443
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:12, archived)
# 'noon
you missed all the fun.
may not be true
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:14, archived)
# no, I searched glasscock for fun
and it came back wi' nowt!!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:17, archived)
# it's like a euphemism*
put like that.
*not a brass instrument that's Euphonium although we could start orchestra puns now
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:20, archived)
# Orchestra puns give me the
(French) horn . . . Cor! (Anglais)



(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:21, archived)
# and then of course
you can start fiddling...
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:23, archived)
# I always conduct myself in a better manner than that!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:26, archived)
# O-boe you don't!
(I helped save b3ta! Gataki, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:34, archived)
# Bassooner the better . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:35, archived)
# Well...
...as long as you don't get violint
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:35, archived)
# violince gives me a
tromboner
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:37, archived)
# musical puns?
the bassist form of humour
(Aphasian, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:24, archived)
# (c)ello!?
Who invited you!?


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:27, archived)
# No need
to harp on about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:28, archived)
# Oof!
That SCOREd three on my punometer . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:30, archived)
# i feel VIOLAted
by these puns

(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:33, archived)
# I normally don't condone VIOLINce
but have a care . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:36, archived)
# ...if you really wind him up...
...he may insult Yo Your Ma.





too obscure?
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:38, archived)
# in a word..
yes
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:39, archived)
# not at all . . .
I still remember exactly where I was when I heard that Nigel Kennedy had been assassinated . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:39, archived)
# Ah, but who was the gunman?
I'm fairly sure Lee Harvey Oswald didn't duet.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:48, archived)
# Obscure?
It did fall a bit FLAT.
Sorry If my comment was too SHARP for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Gataki, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:41, archived)
# Don't panic
I did manage to stave off any annoyance.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:42, archived)
# far too CLEFer . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:42, archived)
# this sentence has the bare MINIMum required
for a pun match
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:43, archived)
# That's the treble with it going on so long
you start to run out of puns
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:44, archived)
# aCHORDing to who?
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:45, archived)
# I've got a note from my mum . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:45, archived)
# that's oca(dence) then
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:46, archived)
# (timp)ani more?


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:48, archived)
# none at the
fortissimoment
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:51, archived)
# you're all agro . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:51, archived)
# Give me
a minuet or two to see if I can think of any more...
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:56, archived)
# take your piccolo
I've got loads . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:57, archived)
# Well
I chant think of any more.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 14:00, archived)
# Shirley, you can(ticle)


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 14:02, archived)
# *scratches crotch(et)*
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:44, archived)
# don't get crotchetty!
Here . . . have a quaver. They're floaty light . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:45, archived)
# I may have to give up
I can't(ata) think of any more puns...
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:46, archived)
# Hahahahaha!
*GASPS* I can hardly (semi)brieve!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:47, archived)
# pfft!
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:47, archived)
# Harmony puns is that now?
I've lost count.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:49, archived)
# (trum)pet them all together
and we'll have a count up . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:50, archived)
# i haven't got the syncopation-ce to do that
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:52, archived)
# It must be
a-rondo 100 dodgy puns by now...
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:52, archived)
# I counted forte . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:53, archived)
# haha
and getting dodgier by the minute!

i'm off to the labs for the avo. good punning! see ya
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:54, archived)
# see eu(phonium)


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:56, archived)
# Well he's gone.
Overture you Dave for more dodgy puns...
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:57, archived)
# wood(wind) you believe it . . . ?
Meh!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 14:00, archived)
# Aww
He's just highly strung
(I helped save b3ta! Gataki, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:32, archived)
# that's just TUBAd
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:33, archived)
# You know what they say...
cymbal things please cymbal minds...
(I helped save b3ta! Gataki, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:36, archived)
# Bah! *puts on (high) hat


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:37, archived)
# don't forget your
calarifishnet stockings
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:39, archived)
# Stop! Stop!
You'll give me saxaphobia!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:40, archived)
# That...
...is a false(tto) statement.



And that is definitely my finale pun on the matter as I should do some work.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 14:04, archived)
# Morning Doctor!
/I'm having some of "Mama's Chicken Dumplings"
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:08, archived)
# Morning Doctor!
Mama's chicken dumplings? I hope they're good.
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:10, archived)
# /Thinking Radio two song...
...best explained by the Togmeister himself, check out first song on last wednesdays show on the website...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:10, archived)
# I will
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:14, archived)
# Ha ha ha
fantastic!
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:09, archived)
# As it's newbie tuesday,
I thought I'd better inform everyone.

(heneganj, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:10, archived)
# but we love dave...
:(
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:11, archived)
#
/handbags at dawn
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:11, archived)
# Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
well, they brighten up MY lunchtime
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:11, archived)
# Get out
in the sunshine.
(heneganj, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:15, archived)
# Sunshine's
over-rated. It gives you skin cancer and makes you gay.
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:16, archived)
# FACT!
(I helped save b3ta! mookid, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:17, archived)
# this is true
Look at Noel Coward. Before he spent so much time in the Carribean, he was the pub pianist at the Drum and Bigot round the corner, and a proper ladiesman to boot.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:18, archived)
# lol
.
(heneganj, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:20, archived)
# Hey!
here's an idea! You feck off out into the sunshine and we'll enjoy 'Dave the Facts' eh? Whadda ya think?


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:22, archived)
# suck it to him dave!
give him all you've got!
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:24, archived)
# yea dave
kick him in the cnut
(I helped save b3ta! charlie brown doesn't have a dog but still enjoys shitbagging, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:26, archived)
# Yay
DTH is human after all.

Cranberry him in the watermelon, Dave!
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:27, archived)
# I'm telling Dave,
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:11, archived)
# Pfft?
"Dave the Facts" is a lunchtime treat. (yes it is!)

I was thinking about printing some out and making them into bookmarks
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:11, archived)
# Someone already dunnit
You can buy them from next to the till in Waterstones, Ottakers and Borders*

* not strictly true
(Pearly Pearl, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 14:06, archived)
# meh
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:12, archived)
# 'ello lully
did you get my mystery persons lully dog . . . ?


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:15, archived)
# ooh it was you! ;)
Yes thanks, I replied and thanked you.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:17, archived)
# no . . .
I . . . erm . . . I'll tell him . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:18, archived)
# Woo!
piccie number three and this one's shopped!

/sarcastic


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:14, archived)
# and at least one of the others
is the same
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:15, archived)
# YES!
you are 100% correct

it's a complete waste of fucking time
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:16, archived)
# unlike the rest of B3ta
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:18, archived)
# no because i consider my time being used because i'm being amazed or amused
get off your high horse because it turns out it's a dwarven chap with 3 std's
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:35, archived)
# you consider that a high horse statement?
How odd. I thought it was you on that horse.

Hey ho.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:40, archived)
# maybe i am,
/rides horse into distance
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:41, archived)
# 'endith' ?
www.spellcheckermarketingboard.com
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:18, archived)
# ooh, sticking to your guns.
i like that.. but i don't like you though.
(I helped save b3ta! null and void, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:42, archived)
# I'm not eating anything because i'm a poor lazy student.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:10, archived)
# Duke ! You fat mullah !
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:11, archived)
# I'm eating for two!
I can't let wee Sandy, my tapeworm, starve.
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:18, archived)
# yay
Wee wees 'pot.

I'm having one roll with egg and one roll with butternut and feta humoussy stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:11, archived)
# mmmm
fancy! no marmite?
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:13, archived)
# not today
I like to vary things a bit :)
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:15, archived)
# I've not made
any lunchtime plans yet.

It might be, yet again, a chicken and bacon slice from the corner shop washed down with a nice hot cuppa, followed up by a blueberry muffin.
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:14, archived)
# What about those crayons?
aaaah! blueberry muffins!
I'm off to Safeway to get some!
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:15, archived)
# Ah, the crayons..
I mixed them in with my Indian food last night. They went slightly melty and chewy. Rather tasty!
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:17, archived)
# Just like
eating a rainbow!
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:19, archived)
# Today Matthew i will
be Partakng in the eating of:
1x snickers bar
1x fabulour bakin boys chocolate muffin
1x tuna and mayonaise ciabatta

and i will be quaffing:
1x bottle of sprite
(BigBobbyh, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:24, archived)
# "Whenever her has to go"?
(Tetsuo, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:25, archived)
# Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


Currently Shopless. Someone stick DTH's face on, please.
(31 year old train driver who may or may not have just celebrated a birthday recently, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:30, archived)
# *slices off DTH's face*
*wears as own face*

done
(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gimpson Wolfguts, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:34, archived)
# gah!
Blackfriars?
(Sir Cosmo Bonsor, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:49, archived)
# 'noon
I had a Greek Salad with plenty of black pepper and feta cheese
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 13:55, archived)
# PFFFT
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Tue 15 Feb 2005, 14:07, archived)