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# It's monday. I'm bored.
Need Chloe.

What should she do to entertain us?
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:25, archived)
# play scrabble
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:25, archived)
# Thats hot
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:27, archived)
# AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:29, archived)
# *gives you hamster luv*
*fuzzle fuzzle*
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:31, archived)
# YESES
My mates have hammies, and they're supercute. I just has a lizard. She's gorgeous though.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:32, archived)
# Lizards are cute
But at the moment have a real thing for hamsters. I'm hoping to get one soon. Haven't found the right one yet, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:33, archived)
# My friends gerbil had babies a few years ago.
The runt of the litter was a couple of centimetres long when I saw them
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:33, archived)
# AWWW
Stop, I shall explode with all the fluff.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:35, archived)
# I miss my gerbil


My wee Basil :3
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:36, archived)
# When we had gerbils, one of them had an operation,
it had to wear a big plastic collar so it didn't bite out his stitches.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:38, archived)
# My basil had an op.
But he didnt get a collar, I just had to watch him like a hawk. Fortunately after the first few times I told him off, he stopped nibbling. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:40, archived)
# ok, that's just tooooo cute.
(dara o'briain, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:31, archived)
# I burried a mouse this morning
It looked a bit like that hamster (it had fattened up for the winter I assume)
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:31, archived)
# Aaw
Poor wee mousey
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:32, archived)
# Oh well, it died the way it lived...
...being tortured to death by a cat
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I shouldn't laugh....
..... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:37, archived)
# I buried this rat recently


(though by "buried", I mean "triple-bagged and dumped in wheelie bin")
(I helped save b3ta! teedyay, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:40, archived)
# Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
D:
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:41, archived)
# What!?
It had eaten ALL my pasta, ALL my noodles and one bite from every stock cube.

Utilising the cavity walls, it was also raiding the neighbour's kitchen. It deserved everything it got. (And at least it was swift - one quick blow is much better than Death By Cat.)

Also, as it clearly Destroyed The Brain, it won't be returning in zombie form. \o/
(I helped save b3ta! teedyay, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:46, archived)
# Ouch
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:41, archived)
# [nice trap...shiniiieee]
(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:42, archived)
# I doubt it died very quickly
missed the neck by a long way and even came short of the majority of the brain.

That's pretty fucking horrible.

Please can you replace it with a picture of a baby in the same state. Thanks
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:44, archived)
# Yeah cos baby humans aren't animals
?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:48, archived)
# No, they are puking & shitting noise machines
(and for some reason I have the song "I'm just a love machine" in my head)
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:51, archived)
# I apologise for confusing you
what I mean is, this is no place for pictures of dead babies so it should stand to reason that violently killed animals of any species are equally unwanted
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:55, archived)
# Hmm, good point.
OK, if a few more people object, I'll take it down.
(I helped save b3ta! teedyay, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:56, archived)
# Apology accepted
I am easily confused.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:58, archived)
# There was no sign of a struggle or other distress.
(The trap was in a cardboard box: there were no scratches on it where the rat had expired. Neither had it bled in the slightest.)

I appreciate your concern for its suffering though - I'm not a fan of animal cruelty in any form*. I was glad my trap got it instead of the poison the neighbour had put down. Also, putting the trap in a narrow space (said cardboard box) ensured it approached the trap end-on, thus getting the full force of the spring; if it comes in from the side it gets a weaker whack, is only injured and so dies more slowly.

Edit:
* though to clarify, I'm not a vegetarian and have no problems with vermin extermination. Just so long as it's quick.
(I helped save b3ta! teedyay, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:51, archived)
# but why show it off?
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:55, archived)
# Because I was as pleased to catch it as I was disgusted to find I had a rat in my house to start with.
I'm not here to troll or offend though, so if a few more people object, I'll delete it again.
(I helped save b3ta! teedyay, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:58, archived)
# Blimey
The rats in the westcountry are so unafraid of humans you can take 'em on mano-a-ratto, queensbury rules.

Or just shoot them with an air rifle.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:45, archived)
# Do the hokey-pokey
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:27, archived)
# she should play a nice game of patience.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:27, archived)
# kick ninja butt
in a steamy japanese bath house.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:27, archived)
# ...and THEN play Scrabble?
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:28, archived)
# WHILE playing Scrabble

of course
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:37, archived)
# Hold back the floodwaters
with her mighty boosewhams
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:27, archived)
# eat cheese and crackers
then wash it down with cider
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Use pliers to make blood blisters on Roy Hattersley's nose, then burst them
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Watch BBC News24
Followed by some intense letter-writing to the Times editor.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:28, archived)
# This please
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:29, archived)
# something that'll make her big floppy chebs hang out..for a change
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Well, if you insist!
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Force that shirt on.
Than force it off :)
(I helped save b3ta! OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Rawr
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Ellie Bytes is back... again, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:30, archived)
# Chloe giving Patrick Moore a sexy massage.
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:29, archived)
# *shudders*
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:30, archived)
# Silly Jack
ANYTHING Chloe does entertains us.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Indeed.
Jack makes it so hard for us not go all furry...
(I helped save b3ta! RarelyEvil, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:31, archived)
# They're just cartoons!
(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:47, archived)
# Hunt down and kill Andre Aggasi's secret werewolf children.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:29, archived)
# jump a motorbike over a shark infested tank.
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:30, archived)
# Due to your persistent and irrational refusal to draw French maids
I was forced to make this:

(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:31, archived)
# Chloe's been in a Maid's outfit plenty of times.



(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:38, archived)
# a really difficulty Sudoku puzzle
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:34, archived)
# Play strip chess
against the recently deceased Bobby Fisher
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:41, archived)
# Masseuse Chloe?
Seems like it would be up her street...
(I helped save b3ta! wangmaster2000, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:50, archived)
# :)

(I helped save b3ta! JollyJack - a stench from the past, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 14:52, archived)
# Foiled!
Unless she wants to graduate to a Thai "soapy" massage?
(I helped save b3ta! wangmaster2000, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 15:14, archived)