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# 6 years, 1 month and 6 days
I got there eventually



There is nekkidness. I photographed the Battenburg while it was balanced on my boobs. I can't help it if it was necessary to shop them out. Plus, I was going to shop other B3ta favourites in there, but I got bored.

Edit: Thank you all. My boobs and I shall now go and get some lunchie munchies. I feel it shall contain Mr Kiplings Mini Battenburgs.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:10, archived)
# Invisible boobs!
Phwoar!
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:10, archived)
# *cuts big slice of Beattienburg*
Yum! and Congrats!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:11, archived)
# congratulations
but we wish to see the out-takes from this shoppery
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:11, archived)
# Woo - Congrats!
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Congratumalations....
and i just realised i missed my B3taday yesterday... no cayke for me
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Aw!
Happy Belated B3taday!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:20, archived)
# I hope you're a lady...
The though of balancing battenburg on man boob just before lunch is enough to make John P lose his lunch!
(I helped save b3ta! benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:12, archived)
# personally, I like a batten on my moobs
O_o
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:14, archived)
# I enjoyed this joke.
The punchline is what did it for me.

A+double-starMeritMeritPlus (equiv. GCE D grade)
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:14, archived)
# Boobs? Check
Mimsy? Check
PMT? Check

Yep, I'm a bona fide bird.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:16, archived)
# haha
Did you see that film Mimsy!! What the hell were they thinking??

Sorry about the PMT *Offers hot water bottle*
(I helped save b3ta! benkai Doing nothing as of ..., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:18, archived)
# *takes hot water bottle*
Mmmmm. Thanks.

The adverts for that film made me laugh! The people who commissioned it obviously don't spend any time on B3ta. Which is probably why they're big film producers making lots of money.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:22, archived)
# That is not a thorough check.
Have you checked for:

Bridge;
Helicopter;
Shark;
Pencil-thin eyebrows?
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:19, archived)
# Well
If you piss me off I'll bite your knob off, so I suppose I've got the shark bit covered.
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:23, archived)
# Ah!
My knob was replaced by a lovely handle. You know what it's like, trying to open the door with slippery hands after a round of anal fistings. The handle is much more convenient.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:27, archived)
# What is Battenburg? I feel deprived by not having had it.
:(
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:14, archived)
# Is what happens when cake and food dye meet in pseudo posh English confectionary
wrapped in Jam & Marzipan, wrapped in a lie!

*edit* good ole Wiki: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battenburg_cake
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:16, archived)
# it is the Cake of Kings
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:16, archived)
# In the same way that Posh and Becks are the king and queen of fashion ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Hellzapoppin, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:26, archived)
# It is the most delicious cake imaginable.
It has four sub-cakes - the pink tasting of rose and the yellow tasting of lions. The outer coating is made from industrial grade carbon-fibre. It is ideal for eating cake in places where there is a strong magnetic field.

It is best accompanied with flat, two-day old tap water.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:16, archived)
# How many different cake recipes did aperture science make?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:17, archived)
# Eight (8)
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:20, archived)
# Many,
but most were lies...

*such as this one!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:20, archived)
# ^ All of the above..
and this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battenberg_cake

FACT
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:19, archived)
#
imaginable available.

The most delicious cake imaginable would be like battenburg but more so.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:20, archived)
# so it's marzipan wrapped and not much but a coloured teacake
~myah~
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:29, archived)
# With apricot jam!
Don't forget that!

Battenburg sans apricot jam is about as good as Jaffa cakes without the orange jelly!
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:35, archived)
# fucking hell
THIS STUFF SOUNDS TERRIBLE!!!!!!

*munches on ANZAC biccies*
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:40, archived)
# Well I don't think you can live on it...
but with the addition of some peas and carrots, who knows!?

(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:43, archived)
# *gasp*
it's the finest marzipan-covered-multi-coloured-madeira cake money can buy
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:16, archived)
# He's the pink and yellow marzipan-flavoured bloke
who played Mahoney in the Police Academy films.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:17, archived)
# hahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:25, archived)
# Congrats!
When I was little, I loved peeling the marzipan off Battenberg and leaving the horrid sponge.
Now I'm older, I have discovered that marzipan can be purchased and consumed on its own. Yum!
(I helped save b3ta! finnbar has officially retired, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:16, archived)
# and apparently having chemical simularity to semtex as far as detection is concerned
an endless source of hilarity :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:17, archived)
# I don't think it's semtex
but other plastic explosives smell of almonds too. As does cyanide.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:18, archived)
# oh, I was under impression it was that
tho if you are at the stage where you can ambiently sniff cyanide it's probably a bit late to be worrying about the exploding marzipan.

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:19, archived)
# I'm not certain.
I shall Google it. See you in 42 days.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:21, archived)
# It'll be fine.
I imagine you'll look trendy in orange. With a shaved head. And manacles.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:23, archived)
# And learning neat balancing tricks
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:41, archived)
# cor, look at the battens on that burg!
/it's the way you say words that makes them sound dirty blog
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:16, archived)
# hmmm battenburg
I will now have to have battenburg for lunch.

Thank you thank you thank you.
(broccoli holocaust, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:18, archived)
# congratulations on 1000
shame about the shopped boobs
(I helped save b3ta! Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:20, archived)
# late lurking congrats
*boobs shops onto battenburg*



*thinks has it wrong somehow*
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Mon 21 Apr 2008, 12:25, archived)