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Vote for your favourite single of the year!

Votes are pouring in for the annual Record of the Year award - only 6 days to go.

www.ROTY.tv

(JonKing2006 Jonathan King, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:26, archived)

fail

~~Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.~~

Nope. 2 years you know but just don't give a shit.

*ignores*

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:27, archived)

But it is world famous Child molester Jonathon King!

Surely his whole life is fail?

(

Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)

Surely that depends on your outlook on life.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:31, archived)

I'm using 2007

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:32, archived)

I'm using the chicken to measure it.

(

mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:38, archived)

And is it the same size of your cock?

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:38, archived)

About the same, yes.

It's a small chicken

(

mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:02, archived)

I couldn't give a cluck.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:05, archived)

Tampering with kiddies sexually is one thing.

But it's completely out of order to thread waste on b3ta!:p

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:32, archived)

Exactly!

What a cunt!

(

Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:34, archived)

That's what he said:D

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:40, archived)

fully agree

- when you threadwaste on b3ta a kitten gets tortured in some medieval torture device.

(

maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:42, archived)

I know

And I'm running out of devices!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:43, archived)

Can we have Hexy back now?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:27, archived)

lol

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:31, archived)

Do you know where he's gone?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:32, archived)

See also: thailand

(

tfs bye, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:32, archived)

Thailand's gone too?

Fucking hell King, you massive klepto.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:34, archived)

*office giggles*

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

I go down much better over here than over there.

Over there I'm the equivalent of a toothsome blowjob.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:38, archived)

*Potential random quote lolz*

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:39, archived)

That's why dad's gone to Thailand

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

He vanished up his own arse?

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:32, archived)

No, then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:33, archived)

Not a clue

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:34, archived)

Do you know where anyone's gone?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

erm.....

everyones gone to the moon?

(coobeastie Used to Be in Evil Gazebo, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:36, archived)

Pfft!

(

LeightonJimbo has remembered his password!, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:06, archived)

They vanished up Hexy's arse?

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:37, archived)

Are you up there?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:38, archived)

Its very clean.

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:40, archived)

Well if guests are imminent...

he's well raised, he knows all about that sort of thing.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:42, archived)

Can I vote for the cuntiest threadwasting hamtouching spam of the day instead?

(

mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:28, archived)

Only through the medium of norks.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:28, archived)

Your speeling goes terrible when you get excited :)

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:29, archived)

Hahaha

I fucked it up and then had to deal with someone before I had a chance to do anything.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)

'deal with someone'

I do so hope that was in a 'mafia' way.

:-)

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:55, archived)

Naaa

I only killed them.

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:16, archived)

I like the cut of your jib, sir.

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)

How about

You recieve the Norks Failiure;
for being the cuntiest threadwasting hamtouching spam of the day.

th224.photobucket.com/albums/dd80/phatima017/th_mob5.jpg

NSFA

seriously

(

Hellzapoppin, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:38, archived)

omg

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:41, archived)

Arrrghhhh!!

...mind bleach please.

(theSHALROTH Gaga's tits are on fucking fire!!!, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:42, archived)

I hereby draw a line under Nork Monday :(

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:46, archived)

pervert!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:48, archived)

Please stop fucking little boys up the arse.

(

kinks rock over London, rock on Chicago, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:28, archived)

haha

(

maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)

Having looked at his link posts for days of yore

I believe this to be THE jonathan King

And I'm now going to be sick in a bucket

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:33, archived)

It is, isn't it?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:34, archived)

Yep

It is.

(

Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

I take it you don't read the Newsletter?

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

What newsletter?

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:36, archived)

get out

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:37, archived)

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:41, archived)

I never believe a word of it

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:51, archived)

Nooo!

*wipes cakie sick off self*

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:45, archived)

It's Nork Monday, not Nonce Monday!!!!

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:28, archived)

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:29, archived)

If it wasn't so much bother I would animated a Safe falling on your head

with the words "FAIL SAFE"

hence You=Fail

(

maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)

FUCK OFF NONCE

(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)

Welcome - pull up a kitten, shop a Maddie

Or just fuck off.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)

Hello, Jonathan

Do you deny having several aliases on YouTube and using these sock-puppets to make positive comments about yourself or otherwise in support of yourself?

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:30, archived)

I want positive sock puppets.

What a jolly good idea.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:31, archived)

they're all the rage, apparently

even award-winning journalists have them

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:32, archived)

Gilligan's Island...

/A bit like Monty Pyton's Whicker Island, but all the inhabitants are Gilligan

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:34, archived)

Ironic that positive sock puppets

should be all the rage.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

Yes but watch out for their arch-enemy the Negative Wank-Sock Puppets

(

maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:34, archived)

STICKY AND BAD.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:34, archived)

Like Michael Jackson in an orphanage

(

maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

Haahahahahaha

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:36, archived)

Pffft

(

DogHorse plop, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:47, archived)

Surely not?

~~I am~~ Jonathan is a talented, intelligent and humble man, and in no way resembles a narcissistic twisty-mouthed fuckwit.

Damn, that's my cover blown

(

DogHorse plop, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

Jonathan King is Andrew Gilligan

AICMFP !

EDIT : Shit ! Beaten to it !

(

fastcar, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

hello, how are you?

(

RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:32, archived)

...too busy raping small boys to reply, I guess?

(

RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:37, archived)

You don't foool me, Julie Moult!

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:32, archived)

arf

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:36, archived)

She is an Idiot

(

maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:36, archived)

this

With more Julie Moult is an idiot.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:37, archived)

Hahaha!

What I love about this most is Jonathon King telling us that his little chart venture isn't on TV, because it's TV with a credibility problem:

"For ten years we have gone through terrestrial TV and ITV but it became apparent that the results were reflecting FAN BASE for the artistes more than genuine support for the tracks, and ITV seemed to care more about income from phone votes than the quality of the programme so we’ve gone INTERNET for the moment." (source)

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:39, archived)

(

Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:35, archived)

(

maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:38, archived)

WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?

(

tfs bye, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:38, archived)

gahhh its probably well late in the thread to get my fail in now

ahh well

(Tefty thought long and hard about posting this on, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:38, archived)

I would say that is fucking win

not fail :)

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:41, archived)

lovely fail

(

WormuIus, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:41, archived)

that is a truly epic fail :)

(

i_yam_bucket doo wah diddy diddy wah wah diddy doo, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:48, archived)

Annual record of the year award?

Wouldn't be particularly effective if it was the monthly record of the year award

(

Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:39, archived)

Hi Jon, you fail somewhat,

way to not make friends and influence people...

(

..wil, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:41, archived)

Please go away

and get cancer. K thx bai

(theSHALROTH Gaga's tits are on fucking fire!!!, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:44, archived)

How about the record

of The Crown vs. King, Old Bailey, 2001?

(

DogHorse plop, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:45, archived)

Oh, very nicely...

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:48, archived)

Aren't you a sex offender?

I think you are.

Please go away.

And furthermore:

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:47, archived)

Fuck a horse.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:50, archived)

didn't he already do that?

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:53, archived)

I don't know. I don't care. I'm confused and angry.

I got up at 6:25am. In my opinion that's an even more unnatural act than fucking a horse.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:57, archived)

*offers nice warm duvet*

Off you go - back to bed with you, sir!

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:03, archived)

"Hero - X Factor Finalists"

and "Rockstar - Nickelback" are possibly the worst songs ever written, though. Are you just trying to point out that there are worse things in life than your crimes?

I vote for "The Walton Hop" by Luke Haines.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:55, archived)

ahhh, Nickleback

always love a chance to roast this:

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:57, archived)

Controversial.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:58, archived)

I thought Rockstar was alright until they used it on those damn adverts!

(

Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 13:59, archived)

Where's Bono when you need him?

*Votes*

(

Bad Horsey Bring back Dr. Ubes Rub!, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:09, archived)

Hopefully, under 20 foot of

wet cement.

/Wishful thinking blog

(

J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:11, archived)

you live here you gimp

View Larger Map

(

MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:12, archived)

oh fucking deary fucking me.

FLAIL

(

op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:45, archived)