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Anybody out there on Telewest ?

Can you access the Self Care section ? Don't want to go through the depressing Ticket system unless entirely necassary..

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:36, archived)

Mines

fucked at the mo' too. Bollocks.

(tomsk, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:38, archived)

Oh well..

I'll set a ticket going.

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:42, archived)

mine too

it's not letting me in. I've phoned the tech support quite alot and they've been dead helpful. I'd give em a ring.

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:42, archived)

I'm on Surf, not BB..

so they can jump if they think I'm paying 50p a minute for some dumbfuck telling me that it's knackered.

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:46, archived)

Ahhh, bugger that then

These 50p/min help lines just take the piss. That was why I was so amazed by BB help, free and actually, well helpful. Very unusual.

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:49, archived)

Errr....

Don't suppose....you...could give them a bell. Cheeky I know ;)

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:02, archived)

sure

what do you need to know?

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:07, archived)

You are a gentleman (well not actually sure but i'll go with it).

Just need to know :

1/ Are they aware people can't access Self Care.
2/ When's it likely to be fixed as it's been down an hour and a half.
3/ Can they keep the Status page updated.

If you could do that then you will be blessed for ever.

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:12, archived)

no problem

I'll get right on it.

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:15, archived)

Wouldn't you believe it...

it's bloody working now. If that was you, thanks !

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:24, archived)

Right

I was just about to reply! The guy said it was down for everyone and he had no idea when it'd be up, if its a long time they'll update the status. But if it's fixed Woo Yay!

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:29, archived)

Ta muchly..

for phoning.

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:33, archived)

Glad to help, sir.

Now go forth and administer your selfcare, so's you can get t'internet working proper;)

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:37, archived)

Now I'll check my web mail to see if they've responded..

Oh ! Guess what that's fucked now ! Do they have one multiboard for all of their services ? When somebody phones to say ones fucked then they unplug another box and plug the other one in, hoping that no one will notice ! Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh ! No worries, don't need it now anyway.

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:42, archived)

There was

a recorded message that mentioned that there were e-mail problems, amongst alot of other things. I assume everyones off work getting pished today.

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:52, archived)

tomsk

was the random iamge search your idea? Whoever it was deserves all credit due.

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:45, archived)

I did suggest it to

someone as something to do when lack of inspiration strikes, but I doubt I'm the first to think of it.

(tomsk, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:47, archived)

Well, it was the

first time I heard of it...
...Woo, and indeed Yay to you sir! You shall be credited this evening.

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:56, archived)

Yay!

Fank yoo.

(tomsk, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:08, archived)

to far?

(Broon, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:33, archived)

why is

the queen mums wee green?

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:03, archived)

The singing cat on the front page

is extraordinary. I'm moved. [link]

(

rob, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:23, archived)

What in gods name is going on

with that cat that walks on during the 2nd or 3rd line of the song??? Poor fooker. Some sort of hideous Basking shark/cat hybrid. :(

I'm quite terrified now

Edit* is it just me or does the poor cat get taped up in the box at the end?

(

Spunkmeyer, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:26, archived)

That really is beautiful

The best little animation I've seen for ages. I feel all warm now.

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:34, archived)

thats wot i thought m8

next stop kitchen chopping board.

(

Pob, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:42, archived)

Wow.

In a very odd way, that's lovely.

(tomsk, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:36, archived)

When's Maria Carey doing a cover...

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:46, archived)

very very odd...

I too am worried about the taped-up box, though.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:47, archived)

It's sad

but strangely optimistic. Quite lovely. It makes me want to stop doing rude potatoshoppes.
I won't, like. Short memory and too immature

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:53, archived)

i hope

his star does come for him.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:50, archived)

aaaawwwww

poor thing, nice anim though.

(

youknowyouloveit, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:54, archived)

well, i shall gather my notes now

and be off. but before i go, i'd just like to say that yogi tea is the tastiest tea i have ever tasted ever. buy some and drink it with milk and honey. you have been told.

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:11, archived)

I'm at work today...

Us Scots are evidently considered to be too republican to have two days off for the jubbly.

Boo and Nay.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:09, archived)

I know the feeling

it's a big problem with self-employment, really.

(

trumpet, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:13, archived)

I have a secret to confess

yes, it's true, i cheat...

(koopies, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:40, archived)

hot north sore guy.jpg

wha?

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:45, archived)

a picture a girl i chat to sent me

she had the farked up idea that i'd like it.... dumbass

but anyway, it was ripe for the slopping of potatoes

(koopies, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:51, archived)

youre

not in fark anymore.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:10, archived)

aah

that would be the b3ta-ch3ta plug-in.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:45, archived)

are there any americans about at this time?

i have a burning question to ask thee. namely: is cider generally an alcoholic or a non-alcoholic drink?

sorry, but i need to know!

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:20, archived)

Cider is used...

primarily as an alternative to alcohol. It's often served to children and non-drinkers during Thanksgiving and Christmas. What brought about that question?

(Kimbo, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:22, archived)

cos it's definitely an alcoholic drink in the uk

can you imagine if beer was a non-alcoholic drink? that's how weird it seems to me.

edit: let's make it clear that i'm not calling americans weird- it's equally weird for ppl on both sides of the atlantic

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:24, archived)

We have beer in the US...

that is called non-alcoholic. Even minors can buy it I think. It's got just a bit of alcohol in it, but far too little to get anyone drunk. I've heard it tastes like piss.

(Kimbo, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:30, archived)

i've been on that stuff these past couple of weeks

kaliber- made by guinness. it's nicer than coke, but not as nice as lemonade =)

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:31, archived)

Why not drink lemonade then?

just a thought...

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:39, archived)

cos i am

an alcoholic

i miss the taste of beer on a sunny day. it's like a lost friend *sigh*

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:43, archived)

Get the best of both worlds...

drink Top Deck shandy. O yeah baby, go for the Lager and Lime version !

(

Si W, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:05, archived)

That's here

too. Can't claim to have tasted it.

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:32, archived)

isn't that just shandy?

(

bananaman, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:35, archived)

sounds

like it

(skagg, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:36, archived)

shandy is half-beer half-lemonade.
and is drunk by girls.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:37, archived)

in that case

who drinks non-alcoholic beer?

(

bananaman, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:53, archived)

me, sadly

a friend of mine suggested i make a backwards shandy using kaliber and hooch =)

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:57, archived)

heheh

interesting - what did it taste like?

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:12, archived)

i'll let you know

when i've tried it (which i inevitably will...)

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:13, archived)

you should also try a shandy

with stella and hooch. Is verr gud.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:02, archived)

good job the

miners can at least drink weak-ass beer after they have all their pits closed in the eighties.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:36, archived)

This side of

the Atlantic cider is known as 'psycho soup' because of it's alcoholic qualities - It comes in giant flagons for mass consumption...

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:26, archived)

in america

alcoholic cider is called "hard cider" or sometimes "strong cider". cider being basically fizzy fermented apple juice, hard cider being fermented enough to produce alcohol.

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:30, archived)

Hello all

Feeling fine after last nights Jubileeathon ?

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:10, archived)

yes... and still quite entertained by it all..

BTW, I'm still up for writing the rest of p-p-p-pola, if Fnord can't be arsed.

(

chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:31, archived)

Go for it

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 12:27, archived)

With thanks to our rude friend last week..

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:08, archived)

...

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:11, archived)

what rude friend?

I haven't been around much.
tell me the story?

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:11, archived)

I'm sure you were there zog

remember, the guy who tried to make friends by insulting everyone and talking about anal fissures. Goldenballs, I think he was called.

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:15, archived)

oh wight wight.

yes yes.

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:32, archived)

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:33, archived)

hahahahaaaa

that is classic. I hope you rot in heaven for that!

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:38, archived)

tony blair

announces that picture of two dogs in costume is "funniest fucking thing" he's ever seen.

(

rogan, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:07, archived)

hehhhh

*cough* I did send that to my mother...

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:12, archived)

inspiring

simply inspiring
hilarious stuff there ^_^

(koopies, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:44, archived)

myFacts

i.did.put.tem.on.a.site.i.ive.u.da.link www.kerrap.co.uk/

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:03, archived)

can you attempt to write using English please?

(

rob, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:25, archived)

has no one figured out

that he's actually Jar Jar Binks in disguise?
he can't talk normal, it's not in his nature!

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:37, archived)

his

keyboard is busted. said so earlier on.

poor little mite.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:39, archived)

Morning b3tans...

and damn you brits with your extra day off... But remember you have no rights as citizens - you are merely subjects.
Could you people do me a favour and do a quick test of this: Time Spaz!
IE5 users: Are you getting dots around the 'Search Again' link?
Non IE users: Is it working?
This is the last time I spazz this. Honest. I just did some more work on it last night...

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:02, archived)

no dots,

it just lights up green....

Use this information wisely.

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:04, archived)

Ta witchy -

That's the effect I'm going for..

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:10, archived)

Nice one

works fine on IE, mate.

(

cobby, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:04, archived)

heh heh heh

cool...working fine on windoze IE 5. give us a minute and I'll try it on the Mac.

...yep, mac likes too. (IE5, OSX)

(

trumpet, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:08, archived)

Excellent

stuff...

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:30, archived)

ie6 is ok, but that wasn't part of the question :p

get some lovely results..

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:09, archived)

Happy b'day minoltion!

All browser reports are appreciated...

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:12, archived)

hey!

THATS such a fannytastic idea!! It works fine for me (i.e. 5).
are you american? if so youre a fine one to talk about have no freedom. You've all been conned into believing you have it when youre about as free as a caged biscuit. if not, then fotget it. oh yes, and 'fanny' doesnt mean arse, you fools.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:10, archived)

Thanks!

But I'm on of dem backwards, potato-munchin' paddies you hear so much about...

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:13, archived)

well

thank god for that. I must apologise for mistakenly calling you names.

(crazymum, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:16, archived)

opera 6.01

aok! woo!

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:13, archived)

Woo! Yay!

My Opera tests were also successful... Any Netscape users?

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:28, archived)

mozilla

likes it too

(

bananaman, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:28, archived)

Woo!

Yay!
Must get myself a copy of Mozilla actually...

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:35, archived)

woo & yay

i got some anime porn!

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:27, archived)

Hehehe -

Keep in mind folks that safe search is off!

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 13:33, archived)

we haven't had any pictures in aaages

someone want to do something with this paedophile?

I'm sure there's at least the Gary Glitter headswap in there...

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:58, archived)

or of course

the obligatory glass cock.

(

trumpet, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:04, archived)

Heheh -

I like the fact that it's obligatory now.

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:09, archived)

now where oh where is that

roo testicle?

(koopies, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:05, archived)

The look

of love in their eyes brought a lump to my trrrrrousers...

(

helmetcream, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:07, archived)

dammit!

must not photoshop... must read crap... nnngghh!!!

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:11, archived)

you and me both

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:13, archived)

come.on.i.did.make.tem.uo.dont.take.tem.serious

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:53, archived)

love 'em.

but they are a bit relentless, whereas compiled into a website, would be far more entertaining, and would take up less board space :)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:57, archived)

Music Factob #6

Did You Know? Fred Durst Of The Hard Rockers Limp Biscuit is still being dressed by his mum.(ok so that wasn't amazing you just can tell from looking at his chubby body)

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:46, archived)

does that fact that no one is responing to these

not tell you that we couldn't really give a shit, bob?

(

pep, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:48, archived)

he can have my shit because i find it entertaining

(koopies, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:54, archived)

coat

for jebus?

(

trumpet, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:53, archived)

if you've got one spare

I'll call a cab.

(

pep, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:54, archived)

Music Factob #5

the leadsinger of welsh nu-metalers lost pohspits said he never seen a sheep but speaks of a animal called shagmules.

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:44, archived)

hum

mus?

(redifusion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:46, archived)

well

at least you got your keyboard to work

(christophaloph, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:46, archived)

i reckon it was

all a con

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:47, archived)

morning min,

how's yer heed?

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:55, archived)

he is ok

and seeing as its bank hliday, i've turned the muzzic up loud :)

(minoltion, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:59, archived)

I'd be doing that if I

wasn't bashing out shitey old 50's style fireplaces and making a squillion trips to Bah&Qumbug.
Or rather I will be after the next cuppa :)

laters peeps!

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:02, archived)

qumbug

is my new favourite word =)

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 11:22, archived)

wrote

i.wrote.teses.a.fews.days.past

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:50, archived)

Music Factob #4

othello is Chester from linkin park favorite game he like the idea of killing blacks to get more whites.

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:43, archived)

you really are bored aren't you.

(

pep, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:45, archived)

indeed

yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:47, archived)

Music Factob#3

Puff Daddy (or P. Diddy) has installed Camera's all around his house so he
can watch his children in the shower or getting changed in their bedrooms.
Puff also enjoys making black and white celebrity porno video's when. When a fit celebrity couple stop at his house he likes to film them when they are doin it. Then he sells them on the net.

(jebus, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:41, archived)

something

tells me that isnt true....
it might be called 'commonsense'

(koopies, Tue 4 Jun 2002, 10:49, archived)

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