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# non-rhyme
There was a young man from Dundee
Who got stung on the neck by a wasp
when asked "did it hurt?"
He said "no, not a bit"
"it can do it again if it likes".
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:22, archived)
# Industrial Pussy Corkscrew

*ahem*
Well, I can see why she needed the helmet now at least...
(pibakic, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:21, archived)
# i dont know what that is.
But I really really want one.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:28, archived)
# isn't it obviously...
... a novelty corkscrew for 20ft industrial champagne bottles?

Bah.

/me sulks.
(pibakic, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:30, archived)
# Looks like
The new ride at Blackpool!

"The Big Kitten Corkscrew Puller" ... sponsored by Moet and Petsmart?
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:32, archived)
# I was more interested in
getting a demonstration of a "pussy opener".
Er.
Coat.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:32, archived)
# Phlidmobiles are selling well


Will I rot in hell?


/edit/ Oh for fucksocks sake, I'm up to my bandwidth limit again.
I'd better sign up for yet another netfirms account.
grrr
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:21, archived)
# you will
for that broken link
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:26, archived)
# weeeell...

(and her name is actually Mary Ellen Lamb...!)
(I helped save b3ta! aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:18, archived)
# William B Spong Jr
has a chas n' dave cockney knees up moment...

(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:16, archived)
# i was beginning to think
that nothing had become of mister spong II
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:18, archived)
# Rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit
SPONG!
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:18, archived)
# Tortoise o-matic!!
Headwear required to conform with the highway code...
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:10, archived)
# is this
going to be my first front pager? Oooooh! *gets excited*
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:11, archived)
# There you go
you can now explode with joy.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:12, archived)
# YAY!!!
Woo Yay!! The happiest day of my life!! :)
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:13, archived)
# well you've beat me.
i still havent had a front pager yet!
(trying not to sound [err..smug?]) But can other people actually see my posts!?
(icedragon, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:13, archived)
# me neither
but i deserve not to
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:18, archived)
# but you've only been here for 9 days
look how long i've been here.
*feels unaprieciated
(icedragon, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:19, archived)
# ha ha ha
ha ha ha
*dances around icedragon2k, mocking him with her 1 Front-Page post*
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:22, archived)
# mmm
nice dancing ;)
thought i'd ignore the mocking part.
(icedragon, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:23, archived)
# Yeah! And I've only had
35!!

hehehe :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:20, archived)
# in the words of mike -
cunt.
:)
[edit: and i've been here longer than you too. but surely thats not right, i can't remember you ever being a n00bie]
(icedragon, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:22, archived)
# is this a record?
7 minute time spaz?
(Mumm-ra, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:13, archived)
# It was justified
I asked him to so I could frontpage it.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:15, archived)
# Fair play
speedy tortoises are worthy of respect.
(Mumm-ra, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:17, archived)
# She looks like that
Libby bint off neigbours
(I helped save b3ta! adverse_camber, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:19, archived)
# Libby? Does she make
Um-Bongo? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:21, archived)
# Ahhh
I can see what you've done there.
(I helped save b3ta! adverse_camber, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:26, archived)
# way down deep in the middle of the
drongo? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:29, archived)
# THIS IS NOT PHOTSHOPED
I took the photo my self

His name is torbjorn andersson. Sweedish drunken yachitie! Phot taken in the galapagos. see my site for details.
(I helped save b3ta! oceanhippie, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:26, archived)
# Is he
mad!!?

Where's his protective headgear? :)
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:30, archived)
# Woooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello everyone. How are you all? I've had the most fantastic weekend, and I've still got 6 days off work left!!
(I helped save b3ta! penrithtearooms, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:06, archived)
# I can beat that
I only have 2 days to my holi-holiday.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:08, archived)
# Well I will be working
like a bitch till 19th June, whereupon I will be on holiday till 6th October. WOO! Oh, and there will be lots of malleable freshers there too for me to play my evil games with. muhahahahahaa. ahem.
(Mumm-ra, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:11, archived)
# woo! what did you do that was so fantastic (other than take an extra two days off)?
i'm very well, thank you. just been rained on. looks like i've arrived just in time to miss the mary rhymes. ah well.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:13, archived)
# how was the
exam?
(I helped save b3ta! lady_delirium, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:14, archived)
# not sure, i think i fell asleep
i spent most of the first hour daydreaming and had to rush to write anything down in the last half hour. it was enjoyable all the same though, thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:17, archived)
# We will not give in to this evil womans torture

say the clones of furtive bears head.
(icedragon, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:05, archived)
# the most obvious choice...
(JBoom, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:58, archived)
# how terrified does that kitten look
this should be reported to the RSPCA
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:01, archived)
# i'm not bloody surprised!
that girl's trying to corkscrew into its head!
(crazymum, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:04, archived)
# Here's
Today's Gallery and Yesterday's for good measure.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:56, archived)
# Sorry Dr Phil
Mary had a little lamb
She stored it in the loft
And only remembered 5 years on
One evening, when it coughed
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:51, archived)
# Well, it's your first one,
so I'll forgive you.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:55, archived)
# I'll push my luck then
Mary had a little lamb
She bought it whilst in Spain
It ran into the cockpit
Whilst getting on the plane

Using sheep-like flying skills
It took off with a bleat
Then flew to Indonesia
Where they ate it's meat
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:07, archived)
# no no no
that wasn't encouragement!

...sigh. Oh well they're rather good ones so I s'pose I should just give up.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:10, archived)
# .
Martin wrote two Mary poems
But that was just enough
To get past Dr Phil
Before she got too rough
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:14, archived)
# hahahahahaha
priceless!!
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:55, archived)
# mary had a little lamb
she kept it in the attic
she remebered that she'd left it there
when it crashed through the ceiling with an uzi and wasted all the family and then carried on to rampage through the neighbourhood taking out pedestrians and cars with an assortment of lethal weapons brought back from nam
(I helped save b3ta! aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:59, archived)
# You've been watching
Way too much Southpark dude.
(Beef_Hooked The Axis of Anxiety, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:06, archived)
# mary's mam and mary's dad
were talking about their daughter
her lamb fixation seemed quite odd
so a labotomy they bought her
(I helped save b3ta! aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:50, archived)
# Mary had a little lamb,
It used to whisle tunes,
so she melted both it's eyeballs,
with some white-hot tablespoons.
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:50, archived)
# Mary had a little whelk
a gibbon and a pasty
When they were all stuck together
They became a sort-of taxi
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:56, archived)
# Mary had a great big lion
and its name was Dave.
Sometimes she would flick its bollocks
But she's not often quite that brave
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:58, archived)
# Mary had a Tetse fly
which she kept to pass diseases.
She fed the fly on human blood
and varieties of cheeses.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:01, archived)
[challenge entry] Fucking Hel!!!!1
....a tetse fly? FUCKING HELL!!!!! I nearly pissed myself then.
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:05, archived)
# Mary was a big baboon
with custard in her eyes
Sometimes she'd ask the moon for help
Coz she couldn't zip her flies
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:02, archived)
# Yram in another dimension
had a little Bmal
It used to puke up children
Mostly boys, but once a Gal.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:04, archived)
# Hmmmmmm
Mary's horse was terrified
of scary lurking knees.
They'd wait until it trotted past.
And leap out from the trees.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:06, archived)
# Mary never had a lamb
it was all a horrid lie
And now shes lost all credibility
She'll just curl up and die.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:08, archived)
# Thats the
best one!
(VinylSqueakyDogtoy, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:19, archived)
# just the one
Mary had a little lamb
she painted it bright orange
and while she though what would rhyme
she sucked upon a lozenge.

sorry.
(Dr Gonzo, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:20, archived)
# I was gonna potatoshop this
but then I thought - why !?!
(JBoom, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:48, archived)
# Has
any one noticed that this picture is called "ride me"?

Why did that make me laugh?
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:55, archived)
# It must
travel at high speeds to nessitate(?) the need for a safety helmet.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:57, archived)
# yes
I also noticed that. It scared me a little.
(JBoom, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:59, archived)
# this man
is named William B Spong Jr.
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:47, archived)
# Does
anyone know if the 'perfect day' flash thingy ever got done?
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:44, archived)
# Congratulations all.
We've knocked Rob's Manual off the top page, as requested.

...Perhaps we can leave the lamb poems now? Ooooonly a thought. Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:42, archived)
# .
Mary had a little lamb
which no-one could ignore
apart from Dr Kitten
who just got really bored
and then killed people
with an axe
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:48, archived)
# I prefer a machete.
An axe is a bit heavy for a delicate wee thing like me.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:52, archived)
# well you're in luck
Titanium axe - the strength of steel with the weight of aluminium, and doesn't this lady look pleased with hers?
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:59, archived)
# She's a fine lookin'
lass.
Good solid thighs.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:00, archived)
# Absolutely
You could ride over glaciers and scale mountains on such a steed.
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:02, archived)
# Ah
what a splendid image we would make.
Bare back riding through the Rockey Mountains.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:05, archived)
# a veritable caravan!
The dizzying visage of her and other fine fillies from her stable, proudly weilding their shiny axes as we ride them over mountain, hill and plain into the gently setting sun through the wilds of the earth. A dozen or so sturdy women carrying enough supplies to feed a small army throughout our entire adventure as we cross the continents, on our quest to VEGAS where we will trade them to settle the CRIPPLING GAMBLING DEBTS we will amass playing snap! hyah! hyah! go concorde! go!
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:12, archived)
# ...you're
a very strange bloke.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:20, archived)
# What a dream.
Then we shall buy them back. And herd cattle on the prairie.
What a life, a caravan, forty or fifty head of cattle and several sturdy women to carry our load. We shall ride the through the day and feed and water them at night and in the morning mount their tan firm bodies and ride them till sunset.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 14:21, archived)
# another
mary had a little lamb
but it's winky tasted funny
the little lamb was such a cunt
he'd been sticking mary's mummy
(I helped save b3ta! SpunkyBackpack, Wed 5 Jun 2002, 13:41, archived)

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