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Anyone got...

a large picture of the "Every time you masturbate etc. etc."? I'm making a variation for work.

(Kimbo, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:31, archived)

On my site

look on the messageboard at loosetobacco the post is called "god kills"

(Egg, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:33, archived)

Kimbo - was looking at your profile

are you an L.A. person?

(Egg, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:42, archived)

Close...

Orange Countyish. 30 minute drive to LA.

(Kimbo, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:45, archived)

where

on earth do you work?

(

rosey, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:43, archived)

Ummm...

Disneyland.

(Kimbo, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:45, archived)

I need guidance

My Dad lives in L.A. and I'm a duel-citizen. Im heading out to Granada Hills in August for a month.. need to know good clubs with Americans that are funny - instead of my brothers boring college chums

(Egg, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:50, archived)

I wouldn't know...

if you want, though, I can probably get you into Disneyland for free.
My guest pass is horribly underused

(Kimbo, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:53, archived)

Disneyland for free!!

Can't be bad - but can I be all political and ask all the fluffy chachters if they're getting trenchfoot and peeling-skin from the sweaty costumes they have to wear all day?

(Egg, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:56, archived)

Those wussies...

get breaks in their own private break room. It's creepy the first time you see them headless.

(Kimbo, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 21:02, archived)

cunts of the world (except for Bruce)

couldn't resist. A piece depicting the truth behind suffering in the third world.

(roomproject, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:31, archived)

i apologise for spazzing but it's a quadruple entry

but i was proud of this pic and forgot to enter it in turner prize mode

the ecclesiastical purple demonstrates the hope that was once present in the city, whilst the blackness highlights its absence in the dark anonymity of the night. the cranes show the neverending nightmare of urban sprawl.

and this

woo for kittens and stamps

and this:

good ideas do not always come from sensible-looking people

and not forgetting this:

glamour and bright lights of colour oft eclipse the faces behind the image.

(

bananaman, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:30, archived)

Nice it is too.

You can also choose which category it belongs to via "Edit".

I nearly always forget too.

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Craymen, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:34, archived)

yeah, but

it would have mean trawling through a load of spazz, and i had other ones to enter

(

bananaman, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:35, archived)

Did you add those others in afterwards

or did I just not notice?

Now I just look silly.

(

Craymen, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:38, archived)

later

i did the first but remembered i'd done another couple i meant to add

(

bananaman, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:41, archived)

do you want the whole page

???

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:47, archived)

i'll take it

if it's going

i apologised at the top

(

bananaman, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:49, archived)

s'ok

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:52, archived)

Coming though!

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Craymen, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:26, archived)

Woooo.

Zooooooooom! Lookathimgoooooo!

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:29, archived)

that makes me think

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hal9000 sme, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:36, archived)

Yes.

Very true. Of course, leaving out the splink co-efficient exposes the quang to bidropsial diflucation. But that shouldn't be a problem in this case.

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:40, archived)

i can't belive i

overlooked that... i'd better call NASA and tell them the SpaceShuttle is in danger

(

hal9000 sme, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:41, archived)

That makes my brain feel runny

and my eyes water.

What does that mean?

(

Craymen, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:41, archived)

my maths class

at gcse level has managed to prove on many occasions that all numbers equal other ones and that the universe doesn't exist.

(

bananaman, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:55, archived)

GCSE maths lessons

first thing Monday morning and last thing Friday afternoon taught me one thing: There is no God.

(

Craymen, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 21:00, archived)

i call this: 'daddy or chips?'

(or an excuse to muck about with filters and the b3ta logo?)

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:26, archived)

Can Anyone

time spaz me the flyer for the B3ta drinking session tomorrow? I don't know where to go!

(HelloTeeth, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:24, archived)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:27, archived)

Dammit.

b3tan. That's not happened for yonks. 5 yonks, to be precise.

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:30, archived)

getting slow in

your old age?

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:36, archived)

Tomsk

I've got something gooooood for you, PK and me tomorrow.
mmmm

(Nacho, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:37, archived)

Wooooo. And yikes.

Er, I'm off out now, for beer and Zip Drive to CD conversion action at a mates. See youse laters. Tomorrow in fact. Woooooooooo!

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:41, archived)

I aint got no flyer but

it's at the strongroom bar in Hoxton (I know), nearest toob station is Old Street, get there 8 at the latest or we'll take the piss. MAP HERE MAP HERE Look for the red and yellow arrow.

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:27, archived)

Cheers

See you tomorrow girl friend permitting :)

(HelloTeeth, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:29, archived)

Woo.

Tell her you're meeting a load of freaks off of a messageboard or something. That should scare her off.

Oh...

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:31, archived)

She wants to come a long and find out about

fucksocks, fucking hummus, woo and Yay and why my computer beeps like W.O.P.A.R from war games

(HelloTeeth, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:35, archived)

oooo!

Whilst I'm away for most of the day, I might attempt to make an appearance.

So there you go! :D

(qwerty, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:48, archived)

though widely regarded as a top class drill instructor...

...seargant beaver sure didn't want no pussies in his corp.

(

tomdog, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:23, archived)

Woo

That furry sargent would scare me into shape. Much more vicious than Cleese or Bilko.

(

priestess I remember when this was all fields, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:28, archived)

Woo

Syncronous postings, almost.

I likey that lots.

(

Craymen, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:29, archived)

bizarre

yours is also tremendous. subtle and beautiful!

(

tomdog, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:34, archived)

actually...

...thats a marmot...

but woo and yay anyway

(

EvS, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 23:41, archived)

Wingmirror Kung-Fu

Last night I came up with the idea of detachable wing-mirrors similar to the detachable security car-radios you can get.

This idea would have been particularly relevent a few years back when my regular drunken nights almost always resulted in some vandalism ...vis-à-vis wingmirror Kung-Fu

(Egg, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:23, archived)

bastard

you owe me big!
how about vandals teeth kung fu?

(

Pob, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:25, archived)

When I make my first

million from the detachable car wingmirrors I promise to repay all the people whose wingmirrors I palm chopped in a Bruce Lee style.

that is if I can find them of course...

(Egg, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:28, archived)

lol

how much for how many?

(

Pob, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:29, archived)

arse

anyone know how to become administrator in windos 95 ?

(minoltion, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:20, archived)

This joke is,

nono?

(The Unknown Anorak, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:21, archived)

there's some bits of network stuff left

but i've removed all the protocols/clients , but still mofo's

(minoltion, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:25, archived)

Windows 95 doesn't have a permissions model

So everyone is automatically an administrator. If you mean you want to be an admin on the network you're on, you'll have to go to an NT box and get the network admin to give you privileges.

(The Unknown Anorak, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:41, archived)

well we did win today...

(sye, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:15, archived)

Shadow

I think everyone's ignoring this coz people who care about soccer are still in the pub.

It's pretty good though. Like the shadow, I never remember that kind of thing.

(

priestess I remember when this was all fields, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:36, archived)

I'm about

I'll give that a bum skating woo yay.

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:48, archived)

Bloody Football

My date tonight canceled because England won, apparently the atmosphere is electric and
her best friend is begging her to stay there instead.

Oh well, guess it means I get to b3ta for another night before the party tommorow.

(

priestess I remember when this was all fields, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:14, archived)

Hmm

well it's better than she's washing her hair I suppose?

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:15, archived)

Yeah well

We'll see. Says she wants me to come over for dinner on Monday instead.

(

priestess I remember when this was all fields, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:16, archived)

better be a good dinner

and a helluvalot of wine too.

(

pep, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:18, archived)

Yeah

and make her pay for herself.

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:20, archived)

Hummm

She's cooking, I think is the plan. Unless I'm even more horribly confused that ususual.

(

priestess I remember when this was all fields, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:21, archived)

Ahh

There'll be plenty of Wine, I can make sure of that. Take four bottles with a "Dunno if you want Red or White" speech.

(

priestess I remember when this was all fields, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:20, archived)

and she'd better be a good cook!

or get her to take you out somewhere.

(

pep, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:22, archived)

Tricky

I have no way to tell if she's a good cook before I've already eaten.

(

priestess I remember when this was all fields, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:27, archived)

holy shit i got on the frontpage

She said she wanted to COOK you dinner on Monday. Whole other ballgame.

(sye, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:20, archived)

Lordy

So did I. I hardly ever look at the front page, i was right at the bottom when Wednesday night's came to my attention.

First post on the front page though, impressive.

Yeah, any ball game other than football has to help, heh.

(

priestess I remember when this was all fields, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:23, archived)

i have similar sentiments

although haven't been stood up. i made this

(

bananaman, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:29, archived)

magic magic magic

click here or on my name below and I'll guess your password...

(

munkt0n, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:14, archived)

nuaghty boy...

i'm surprised you can do js in your profile...
could that be abused in any way? probly not

(

rockyrobin, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:16, archived)

not really

I've emailed the powers that be and told 'em anyway

(

munkt0n, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:16, archived)

hmm, not too sure about that

actually - be careful

(

pep, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:20, archived)

How

does that work then? Got to be naughty?

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:27, archived)

You people...

...scare me sometimes with my lack of computing knowledge...

(Siu Loong, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:30, archived)

nah it's not

'-'

your trick sucksorz

(minoltion, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:16, archived)

Cool, thanks for getting me a namecheck on the front page

I feel I have helped in some way.

You may know my password but I know what folders you hide your porn in.

clicky for a screenshot of your computer"

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:20, archived)

so they've invented scrolling jay pegs now?

(thats the silliest part of the trick..)

(minoltion, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:23, archived)

it's very old and crap but i keep it around

just for old times sake and occasions such as this where i might catch a few more ppl with it.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:25, archived)

ye olde

bumper book of javascript trix

(

munkt0n, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:32, archived)

that

doesn't use js tho...

(

rockyrobin, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:35, archived)

"broken fridge (interior)"

1997 fridge, blutac, magazines

a comment on consumer culture, or just an insulated cupboard?

(

rogan, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:07, archived)

need more help...

(sorry if I'm being thick) how do I convert an mp3 into a wav? Or is there another format I can stick it in Flash in?

(Nacho, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:06, archived)

this isn't a bad bit of kit

clicky

edit: i forgot the http:// doh!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:07, archived)

arse :(

page not found

(Nacho, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:09, archived)

i think he meant

this

(

munkt0n, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:11, archived)

thought i'd posted this

cdex does the trick - check on www.download.com
soundforge is much better but you have to pay for it/kick the shit out of a musician who has it.
latter could potentially be more enjoyable.

(

trashcanglam, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:09, archived)

if you have winamp

hit cntrl+p, thne select 'disk writer' under 'output'

(

rockyrobin, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:10, archived)

or add a

wav header to the mp3
but i'm not sure if this will play correctly in flash, especially if it's vbr..

(

rockyrobin, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:12, archived)

Oh I'm such a girl

I don't understand
ctrl p and then selected Plug-ins - output, and then there's 4 options and "configure" button at the bottom.
I think I need to get Vulga, or someone geekily superior to me round here to sort it.

(Nacho, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:24, archived)

double click on 'nullsoft writer plugin'

and select the directory you want the wav. hit ok then close...
rocket science it ain't... :D

(

rockyrobin, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:38, archived)

oh and dont forget to put it back

to 'directsound' when you're done

(

rockyrobin, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:39, archived)

ARGGGGGGH

I've done what you said but when I look in the directory it still shows it as an mp3. Do I need to tick:
Convert to format
Enable Single-file mode
override thread priority
kill nullsamples at the beginning
?
(have selected force WAV file in the drop down menu

(Nacho, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:48, archived)

Nacho personally i'd use Exact Audio Copy and LAME

lame usually encodes mp3 - its the best encoder there is and EAC is the best cd ripper there is ... hense if you use EAC and LAME to decode you mp3 you'll get the best wav file ever...
just a thought

(

hal9000 sme, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:17, archived)

*scratching head in confusion*

I might have to do it the old skool way...dig out the record, play it and record it. That'll sound shite though, although that's kind of how I did the Anastacia one

(Nacho, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:29, archived)

I think that this represents

the feelings of the residents of Indian shanty towns towards the increasingly homogenous global culture, and the football, and stuff. The crowd were individually invited customers of the Freeman Hardy and Willis chain of footwear shops, each with the surname 'Doig', and the installation took place down the road from the scene where Andy was knocked down and killed by a van in Eastenders in 1987.

(Mark X, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:03, archived)

I think I'm guna start a campaign

to rename the internet aka the www to google.... like 'i dont know how to do that, I'm guna go search the google'!

do ya know what i mean.. i quite often dont type in urls any more just some related google term ?
yeah?

(

hal9000 sme, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 19:59, archived)

i know what you mean

i use google as my dictionary too.

(

pep, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:02, archived)

I'll join

let me tell you the theory of Old Father Google sometime.

he knows everything, more than Jeeves,
that stuck-up twat knows only 2 things...

jack & shit

(

munkt0n, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:03, archived)

i sense a

koit song in there somewhere, but then i am pissed,

(

Pob, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:07, archived)

a song

dedicated to the google image search would be highly appropriate...

(

rogan, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:08, archived)

KOIT!

you are a legend!
and do yoou have the lyrics to big bob bee and hypno cat etc anywhere?

(

Pob, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:11, archived)

mail me

at : koit at blueyonder dot co dot uk and I shall forward you them.

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:28, archived)

thanks m8

(

Pob, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:34, archived)

doesnt jeves know the

answer to life love and everything else and he knows who god is as well

(

hal9000 sme, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:13, archived)

yep

guess who told him? that's right...old man google himself

(

munkt0n, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:15, archived)

Sorry about this

I wouldn't ordinarily ask a question on here, but I think you may be more clued up than google. Does anybody know any free web space where you can upload mp3's and video? Thanx : )

(hottamales, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 19:56, archived)

er...

i dont know off hand... why don't you go search the google
teehee

also it depends how big the mp3s and videos are... and if you need to share them or just store them

(

hal9000 sme, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:00, archived)

I thought you'd be more clued up

I've been trying bloody google for about 3 hours. I want somewhere to stick a mates mp3 and a little video

(hottamales, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:02, archived)

I think that could

catch on.

Although the "porn-o-tron" could apply just as well.

(

Craymen, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:03, archived)

not sure about the videos & stuff

guess you tried all the 20m.com & stuff like that.
Ask on monday - there'll be more people about.

(

pep, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:03, archived)

The only place ive found

is adult hosting sites - i think they will take video - but once they discover it doesn't contain boobies, willys or farm animals - Im done for!!

(hottamales, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:07, archived)

yeah

tripod.co.uk

or 20m.com

(minoltion, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:11, archived)

like i said it depends on how much space you need

try this www.webhosts4free.com/index.php

(

hal9000 sme, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:12, archived)

try one of these

www.tripod.com
www.brinkster.com

on brinkster you'll have to change the extension from .mp3 to .zip or something.

tripod won't let you link from other sites, you have to copy the link and paste it in a new broswer

(

munkt0n, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:06, archived)

Dali would've loved Photoshop.

I warned you I was off to do silly arty things. I'll stop now. Clicky picky for big, if you're into that kind of thing...

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 19:56, archived)

no! don't stop!

picture good! we need more surrealism on the board!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:00, archived)

Woo.

I think that b3ta is surrealism, in part at least. Visual puns, unexpected juxtaposition, distortion of reality. It even has it's own iconographic symbolism in furtive, fluffy et. al.

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:05, archived)

Really?

I thought that it was just a collection of amusing work dodgers with an unhealthy fascination with fluffy animals.

But then again I am on some quite serious medication. *wibble*

(Vivid, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:13, archived)

And the surrealist movement

was different how?

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:16, archived)

that's a bit unfair-

having spoken to art students, i'd say that it's not just the surrealists, y'know.

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:30, archived)

'twould be better

if there was a little cloud hanging above the phonebox raining piss.
and it was full of lemurs, crying.

(

trashcanglam, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:04, archived)

I tried that,

but the lemurs got bored and refused to pose.

(tomsk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:17, archived)

but

it doesn't look like you entered it for the turner prize

(

bananaman, Sat 8 Jun 2002, 14:53, archived)

does anyone have a pic

of a garder doing the "look what i grew pose?" as in, holding something on his palm, not too big etc etc

(

rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 19:53, archived)

search google for

geoff hamilton or percy thrower
should have some pics surely

(

Pob, Fri 7 Jun 2002, 20:23, archived)

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