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guess the pun time ?

didn't want to spend much time searching for bitiney

or has it been done..

(minoltion, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:41, archived)

Captain Harlot ?

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:43, archived)

well the answer is

captain mediochre...

dear me./

(minoltion, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:47, archived)

halway there Koitus maximus!

...

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:38, archived)

Neat

Just hope the tribe like it !

Had a nasty sore throat today that's why it sounds a bit husky.......had it since I came out of hospital. They must have scraped my throat with all them pipes (bastards)

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:42, archived)

Not the time, nor the place...

...but I know one of u guys could help me!

Basically, I need to make a website that is used to sell Novelty ID Cards. I have got Dreamweaver MX, but am not very profficient!!!

The aim is to send an automatic conformation e-mail to orders, perhaps having online payment possibilities, and maybe photo uploads. If u have any suggestions I'd love some response.... Otherwise. Thanks 4 ur time :-D

(dasman30, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:38, archived)

"Novelty" ID cards indeed.

To enable underage folk to buy "Novelty" alcohol in "Novelty" offies and bars, by any remote chance?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:42, archived)

well

how else are we gonna get it?

hang on, on my last trip to london, i got asked to prove i was under 18 at a museum-typey place and got into 18filum and booze no problem

edit: that only really makes sense if you know i'm 15

(

bananaman, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:43, archived)

I was

just thinking that exact same thing!

(

DontHaveAClue, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:46, archived)

on the plus side

the less scallies hanging around the offie threatening me when i don't buy them white lightning the better, thank you.

'angon a minute! wouldn't you have to pay by credit card in order to do it online? the thot plickens...

(

spacefish bong!, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:50, archived)

yeah i would have thought so

maybe thats when the stolen credit card numbers are used :)

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DontHaveAClue, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:52, archived)

aha!

we have a marvellous invention nowadays - solo.

it's basically switch for kids, and it means i can blow all the little money i have on amazon

(

bananaman, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:53, archived)

Solo

is used by the scags we get at work to buy games. Although there 30-odd, they just can't get credit. Solo is the answer.

(Choaderboy, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:39, archived)

oooh, make your own!

I did, back in them dim and distant days...
kids today, you've got no initiative.
/end boring old fart

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Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:50, archived)

ahhh well

i have a plastic card maker u see, so it's all good an' proper. the existing website is as www.photo-id.co.uk i really want to improve it though.... Help!

(dasman30, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:53, archived)

oh bollocks

can't believe i gave the wrong address to my website. it's www.id-shop.co.uk ahhh better!

(dasman30, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:56, archived)

Hmmm....

Surely faking NUS and National ID cards has a slightly illegal tinge to it?

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:10, archived)

and the usage

doesn't?

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bananaman, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:12, archived)

my only reservation

is that this makes it look like the bods who run b3ta condone this stuff, and (while we've all been there) we wanna avoid trubble... right?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:28, archived)

ah, who cares?

we're fucked on a million counts of copyright infringement, a million counts of libel and one count of stalking already =)

(

spacefish bong!, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:50, archived)

Big achey ow-ness

Extremely wary am I.......I'm sure that I will whack it against summat and scream in pain. in 3 days time I'll get you all a close up of the seeping scar.

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koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:28, archived)

you can see the top of it

it's like my mate's arm, after three years he's still got a massive
--|--|--|--|--|--|-- shape down it

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bananaman, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:30, archived)

fucking krikey!

just realised that it goes ALL THE WAY UP YOUR LEG MAN!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?

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Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:34, archived)

Nice old breakage during footie game

metal is here for those who like to gawp

www.koit.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/metal.JPG

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koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:37, archived)

my mate's got a much more violent story

he was on the schoolbus (yr9 at the time) and some year 11 came along and grabbed him and threw him against the floor. he fell on the arm and shattered the bone.

so then he moved to our school

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bananaman, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:38, archived)

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwww!

That looks awfey, not to get you down, but what are the chances of ordinary leg functioning when its healed? I broke my knee a few years ago and have 3 pins screwed into my patella, I have to have another key hole surgery sometime soon to remove loose cartilage(yummy, will remember to take pics) and my knees articulation is still not back to what it was before it happened.

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Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:41, archived)

Well for the 2 years I had the metal in place

I lost some mobility. So yeah, I can imagine never getting back to perfect fitness........but hey, so be it.

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koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:44, archived)

Its pretty good

what happened? YOu should have taken the plater off before showing us tho, just for effect, dont know if it can beat my time spazzer tho :

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Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:32, archived)

plater?

???

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mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:33, archived)

plaster

poopoo head.

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Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:36, archived)

that was actually

a genuine spaz on my part, sorry. I'm a bit dyslexic so I get confuzzzed

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mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:37, archived)

Woo look at that meat eye

Who beat you ?

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koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:37, archived)

I went to another party

after the strongrooms bash, my friend was having an end of season snowboard party, loads of her mates are pro snowboarders and I angered one fo them when incredibly drunk by following him around calling him names and telling him my mum could snowboard better than he could. He tried to hit me, missed, i bitchslapped him(a right whopper) and then he clobbered me in the eye, whereupon I fell to the floor and then left in shame. Well, not really shame, I believe I was still sniggering, but I left and had a kebab.

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:46, archived)

Its a nice story

But lets be honest - you is the villain of the piece aint ya.

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koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:48, archived)

well...

he was a meanie, and he deserved the mocking(at least in my opinion) but I was way nasty to him, but hey, this black eye is cool!

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:52, archived)

ooooh painful

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seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:36, archived)

no offence misteralfie

but i've seen that four times now. Do you know how to make it into a link, maybe?
Cheers.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:40, archived)

soz kitten shoes

maybe this would be more up your street? :

www.misteralfie.com/kittenmov.swf

Im crap at flash i know but its still got kittens on harleys in it!

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:43, archived)

I can't get into that

Does it work ?

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koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:46, archived)

it works

for me at least

(

bananaman, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:49, archived)

may take a little while to load, its baout half a mb

you have the flash 6 player yeah?

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Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:53, archived)

mmm ask for the stuff

which turn to lasagne sauce when it heals the wound, that stuff is fucking foul.

(minoltion, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:43, archived)

I just visited a site for

mentally handicapped musisians
i'm goin to hell

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mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:23, archived)

wickerman flashback on

the rollover

(minoltion, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:27, archived)

I know the guiy who manages it

he's a pal but I'm a cunt, I might even use it as a time spaz

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mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:28, archived)

yay!

got it!All good, it'll be uploaded in about a half hour I guess, the url will be
www.misteralfie.com/chickenlove.mp3
so if I go out, just try accessing it in about a half hour. Its fucking great by the way, what do you use mainly? Have you got a full midi setup at home? I have to use wavelab and I have no idea how it actually works, so my attempts are sucky, also, I couldnt get logic to open a wav or an mp3 format today... cant it do that?

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:18, archived)

Cool

Glad u like

I use cubase midi with my Korg I3 along with a shedload of other audio progs.

Dunno about the problems u have - never used logic or wavelab.

Sorry

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:24, archived)

Logics pretty good

and can open midi files, Ive never tried to use logic with wav files before so the track oin the anim I did today is pretty shoddy. Have you had a look at the flash clickie i posted below? mebbe we could colaborate on a chicken/Kitten road trip romance song!?

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:29, archived)

I tried opening it

But it wouldn't work at the time - I shall try again now.

Colaboration - no probs......let us know as and when you decide what to do

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koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:38, archived)

Koit!!!

im having a crisis here, i have to go watch attack of the stupid dunderheaded fetus heads with my girl and need to leave soon, do you have a hotmail account?

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Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:04, archived)

Don't bother

Attack of the stupid dunderheaded fetus heads II: Dunder and Lightning is far superior.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:08, archived)

tell me about it

But we feel like going outm, what might youi suggest in the cinematically superior genre dear sir?

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:09, archived)

Have you not received the file ?

If not, don't worry I'll see if someone else can host this one today.........perhaps if you were kind enough, you could host the next one

PS - Attack of the Clones is excellent

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koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:11, archived)

The one I sent to your hotmail account

has returned failed......the one to your elvis account seems ok

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:14, archived)

hotmail have a 2mb account size

so a 3mb file would nuke it if they let you put it through.

i reckon mine would self-destruct due to spam if i left it for a week. i am going to test this as soon as they remove the outlook support

(

spacefish bong!, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:45, archived)

nay im board

(minoltion, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:04, archived)

is that mind piss?

low wattage microphone impedance only required

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:08, archived)

"mind piss"

mwahahahahaah!!!!!! laughed out loud at that man.

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:10, archived)

another classic

lumpbucket phrase

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mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:10, archived)

images/create

(minoltion, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:12, archived)

hahahaha

very nice.
Such a subtle watermark too.
Top marks.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:10, archived)

Top

Banana !!

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:13, archived)

It's embarassing to be an American

ahhhhh.....no more of that silly monkey man that will destroy the world.....look you can see the wheels turning in his head

(Miss Chockie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:33, archived)

I just clicked on a friends link

on their website, I wonder if he secretly works for b3ta (but I think it's supposed to make sence)
clicky

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mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:02, archived)

lovely to meet you all

ive gotta go home now. thanx for having me. bye!

(dickyb, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:01, archived)

bye.

cya soon

(

seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:04, archived)

such a nice polite chap

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:07, archived)

AhBeng + AhLian

this is interesting, most interesting..

(le mew, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:57, archived)

thats pretty weird

have you heard the ace sound files at the bottom of the page? they rock.

(

seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:14, archived)

sorry, I promised somebody a cookie earlier...

but I think furtive might've got it.

(

zog why change it now?, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:56, archived)

pssst! british people!

cookie=bisquit! pass it on!

(

zog why change it now?, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:05, archived)

We have cookies here too...

...and biscuits...

mmm..biscuits...

(Siu Loong, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:10, archived)

no, it's just another type of biscuit.

we have cookies here, y'know :P
That's a bit like saying Pepsi = Cola

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:10, archived)

i'm

confused.

(

zog why change it now?, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:29, archived)

um,

i think cookies are big and have chocolate chips/nuts/toffee bits/chunks of stuff in and they're chewier.
Biscuits, meanwhile, are for dunking in tea, and are harder.
Anyway, you have that crazy word for chickpeas, you do - garbanzo beans indeed!

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:37, archived)

does anyone know the difference -biologically speaking- between a bean and a pea?

i've never quite seen how some things get to be peas and some things get to be beans.

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spacefish bong!, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:42, archived)

This deserves a very special

(

azerty, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:59, archived)

im talking to a woman called

BETA on the phone - i work for a phone company

(dickyb, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:54, archived)

ask her if

she can fucking hummus!

(

Pob, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:54, archived)

also i found out where

Timmy Mallett lives - oh the joys of tracing agencies.

(dickyb, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:55, archived)

not the best person

to stalk

(minoltion, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:02, archived)

ooh popbitch!

can I play?
I've got Ewan McGregor's mobile phone number and Tara P-T lives over the road from my office.
She had a shocking bad hat on today as well, a shocking bad hat.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:39, archived)

heck skews hem waa

does anyone have a linkypoo to the b3ta webring thingy?

mercy bow coop.

(

Pob, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53, archived)

CLICKY

CLICK

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:55, archived)

dan cushion

(

Pob, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:56, archived)

FRAN FOOTSTALL

I'll get my coat...

(

mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:57, archived)

swim willy swim....

(

seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53, archived)

any luck yet koitus?

I still havent got an email from you in either of my edressees....?

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:51, archived)

Don't sweat just yet

Big files can take a while to move around through the mail relays.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:54, archived)

true

true.

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:01, archived)

Yeah matey

(

koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:13, archived)

Need some help, please!

Has anyone got a good picture of Lumpbucket (only need his head) about 300 pixels big, from a decent angle and not with anyone else blocking part of his face?
Need to cut out his face to go in my animation...either stick it on here quickly or email it to [email protected]

(Nacho, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:49, archived)

Haven't you got one

in the snakemountain games collection?

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:52, archived)

Ooooh yeaaaah!!!

That might be just what I'm looking for...now where's that set of photos gone?

(Nacho, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:14, archived)

check your box

:)
(oo-er)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:54, archived)

I've got one too if you like.

It's from when I put his face in a blender, but I think the picture's fairly old. Lemme know if you want it...
...and the picture too, of course. ;)

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:32, archived)

Dear B3tans, I beg your advice

My housemate is driving me mad. I spent all weekend cleaning up the kitchen and tonight I come home and her and her boyfriends' dinner plates are all over the worktop even though the damn dishwasher is empty and pining to be filled. Her boyfriend's always here but doesn't pay a penny towards living costs. And the other three of us hate him and don't want him in our house one day out of seven let alone five. She leaves her bike in the lounge when we have a perfectly serviceable garage, she smokes and leaves her butts on the table for the rest of us to clean up, despite being a 'non-smoker' when she first moved in. Frankly, she's a pain in the arse to live with.

Here is the advice I beg: We want to keep the house (contract comes up in August) but get rid of her. Rather than just say outright "We fucking hate you, never darken our door again," how do we construct an ITV-sitcom style scenario which forces her to leave?

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:44, archived)

maybe a monster hitler

to annexe the lebensraum (living room?)

(dickyb, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:46, archived)

Excellent idea

Can anyone lend me a dollar? I'm skint from supporting her sponging arrogant tosser of a boyfriend.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:47, archived)

If the contract is due to expire,

fake an official letter, saying you all have to find somewhere else to live, keep up this fascade (ooh big word!) until she (and her boyf) finds somewhere else to live (you can even make her believe you are all moving out, packed and ready) when she's out, and comfortable in her new surroundings, tell her there was a clerical error, and you are all moving back in.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:00, archived)

I think

if we can get agreement we're just going to ask her to leave. I don't want to live here if she is.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:04, archived)

kill her?

just an idea.

(

seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:47, archived)

And don't think I haven't considered it

But we have to let the room to someone else afterwards.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:48, archived)

ah i see...

might get a bit messy.

(

seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:49, archived)

Although...

it does act as a warning to the next bastard to come along.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:51, archived)

change the locks, paint the door

pump her full of lsd, spin her round n round in circles outside and all run away giggling.

(dickyb, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:50, archived)

YES!

That's a winner.

A lesson for life: B3ta is the fount of all good advice.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:50, archived)

Tell her

that she's been nominated for eviction from the house...

everybody's doing it.

(rear_endo, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:51, archived)

*strokes chin*

Glass bars outside her door and a barbecue in the garden. Sounds tempting but all that would happen is that the garden would end up a shit-tip.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53, archived)

honeslty

unknown, Ive been in the same boat, but with a welsh girl so it was an even more dangerous propostion, basically there is no easy way, the only way is to straight out tell her you dont like her being in the house anymore - and the rest of your flatmates included - this solidarity will be the most shaming thing, and although she'll never speak to you again, thats pretty much what you want anyway.

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:56, archived)

I'm hoping it won't come to that

But I know she got chucked out of her last place for more or less the same reasons. You'd think she'd learn. I'll have to get the others together and start conspiring.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:57, archived)

are you all

non-smoking, is it a non-smoking house? 'cos then you could get all "you're smoking, out!" with her.

(kiwanotree Meh, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:52, archived)

Well the contract forbids resident smokers

So we could get her on that, but we don't want to seem nasty, we want her to choose to move out.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53, archived)

Just have the landlord

come round at a choice time when she's the only one smokin'.
Or just fill her bed with cement when she's asleep in it.

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:59, archived)

Got it...

Tell her that her boyfriend is hitting on one of your other flatmates, and that, er, she's coming on to him too because she's aroused by all the cigarette smoke and dirty plates.

That should fix the boyf, cigs and dishes problems all in one fell swoop.

(rear_endo, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:59, archived)

Problems:

1. The rest of us are all boys
2. We're all straight. Well I have my suspicions about one of them but he's so good at blowjobs I would never confront him.
3. Doesn't tie the bike in.

(The Unknown Anorak, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:03, archived)

Next time she leaves a dirty

plate in the kitchen pick it up and smash it over her head. Fag butts up the nose.

Seriously, the only way you're gonna get her out is by ganging up on her. Who cares if she never speaks to you again, or chucks paint on the front door on her way out? She's the one being the pain in the arse, not you lot, so don't let her intimidate you all.

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:09, archived)

demand

that the boyfriend pays rent, and double the amount because there are two of them.

(

rogan, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:29, archived)

Ive been

doodling in flash today, drinking shitloads of cofee and came up with this, its a bit glitchy, and I have a crap voice, but its cute and it has kittens, and a furtive, and harley davidsons, so Its not all bad. Watch it you'se!!!
www.misteralfie.com/kittenmov.swf

edit - just realised when i checked it in explorer, VERY VERY VERY GLITCHY! wasnt like that in the test!

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:40, archived)

dude is that you singin?

its pretty good.

(

seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:56, archived)

yay!

someone looked, its me singin yea, I really need to improve in flash so Im giving myself little projects to get better.

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:58, archived)

its way better

than anything i can do. (though thats not saying much)

(

seani is selling his new mobile on ebay, check profile, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:05, archived)

yeah really!

quit fucking around on b3ta and go pick up your rockstar career where you left it idling...
woo
yay!

EDIT: no wait! KEEP fucking around on b3ta AND go become a famous popstar. yeah. and then make millions and give us free webspace.

(

zog why change it now?, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:03, archived)

how

uttertly, utterly chilled. gonna have to seriously reconsidermy opinion of cats.

(Hazzeryoda www.mongolfrauds.co.uk - London to Mongolia!, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:05, archived)

I reckon

that could make top of the paps i do, free riding kittens baby yeah!

(

Alfie, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:24, archived)

I've not been here today so

possible class gock
news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/england/newsid_2035000/2035578.stm
Not April 1st today is it?
"Mustapha Riat said he had been woken in his ground-floor flat on Sunday morning to find a large figure with five-foot hairy arms towering over him."

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:39, archived)

wow.

evil criminal mastermind training chimps i expect.

(dickyb, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:42, archived)

Just spotted the Video story

hmm
news.bbc.co.uk/media/video/38065000/rm/_38065543_chimp_lynch09_vi.ram

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:47, archived)

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