guess the pun time ?
didn't want to spend much time searching for bitiney
or has it been done..
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:41,
archived)
or has it been done..
Neat
Just hope the tribe like it !
Had a nasty sore throat today that's why it sounds a bit husky.......had it since I came out of hospital. They must have scraped my throat with all them pipes (bastards)
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:42,
archived)
Had a nasty sore throat today that's why it sounds a bit husky.......had it since I came out of hospital. They must have scraped my throat with all them pipes (bastards)
Not the time, nor the place...
...but I know one of u guys could help me!
Basically, I need to make a website that is used to sell Novelty ID Cards. I have got Dreamweaver MX, but am not very profficient!!!
The aim is to send an automatic conformation e-mail to orders, perhaps having online payment possibilities, and maybe photo uploads. If u have any suggestions I'd love some response.... Otherwise. Thanks 4 ur time :-D
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:38,
archived)
Basically, I need to make a website that is used to sell Novelty ID Cards. I have got Dreamweaver MX, but am not very profficient!!!
The aim is to send an automatic conformation e-mail to orders, perhaps having online payment possibilities, and maybe photo uploads. If u have any suggestions I'd love some response.... Otherwise. Thanks 4 ur time :-D
"Novelty" ID cards indeed.
To enable underage folk to buy "Novelty" alcohol in "Novelty" offies and bars, by any remote chance?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:42,
archived)
well
how else are we gonna get it?
hang on, on my last trip to london, i got asked to prove i was under 18 at a museum-typey place and got into 18filum and booze no problem
edit: that only really makes sense if you know i'm 15
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:43,
archived)
hang on, on my last trip to london, i got asked to prove i was under 18 at a museum-typey place and got into 18filum and booze no problem
edit: that only really makes sense if you know i'm 15
on the plus side
the less scallies hanging around the offie threatening me when i don't buy them white lightning the better, thank you.
'angon a minute! wouldn't you have to pay by credit card in order to do it online? the thot plickens...
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:50,
archived)
'angon a minute! wouldn't you have to pay by credit card in order to do it online? the thot plickens...
yeah i would have thought so
maybe thats when the stolen credit card numbers are used :)
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:52,
archived)
aha!
we have a marvellous invention nowadays - solo.
it's basically switch for kids, and it means i can blow all the little money i have on amazon
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:53,
archived)
it's basically switch for kids, and it means i can blow all the little money i have on amazon
Solo
is used by the scags we get at work to buy games. Although there 30-odd, they just can't get credit. Solo is the answer.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:39,
archived)
oooh, make your own!
I did, back in them dim and distant days...
kids today, you've got no initiative.
/end boring old fart
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:50,
archived)
kids today, you've got no initiative.
/end boring old fart
ahhh well
i have a plastic card maker u see, so it's all good an' proper. the existing website is as www.photo-id.co.uk i really want to improve it though.... Help!
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:53,
archived)
oh bollocks
can't believe i gave the wrong address to my website. it's www.id-shop.co.uk ahhh better!
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:56,
archived)
Hmmm....
Surely faking NUS and National ID cards has a slightly illegal tinge to it?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:10,
archived)
my only reservation
is that this makes it look like the bods who run b3ta condone this stuff, and (while we've all been there) we wanna avoid trubble... right?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:28,
archived)
ah, who cares?
we're fucked on a million counts of copyright infringement, a million counts of libel and one count of stalking already =)
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 20:50,
archived)
Big achey ow-ness
Extremely wary am I.......I'm sure that I will whack it against summat and scream in pain. in 3 days time I'll get you all a close up of the seeping scar.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:28,
archived)
Extremely wary am I.......I'm sure that I will whack it against summat and scream in pain. in 3 days time I'll get you all a close up of the seeping scar.
you can see the top of it
it's like my mate's arm, after three years he's still got a massive
--|--|--|--|--|--|-- shape down it
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:30,
archived)
--|--|--|--|--|--|-- shape down it
fucking krikey!
just realised that it goes ALL THE WAY UP YOUR LEG MAN!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:34,
archived)
Nice old breakage during footie game
metal is here for those who like to gawp
www.koit.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/metal.JPG
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:37,
archived)
www.koit.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/metal.JPG
my mate's got a much more violent story
he was on the schoolbus (yr9 at the time) and some year 11 came along and grabbed him and threw him against the floor. he fell on the arm and shattered the bone.
so then he moved to our school
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:38,
archived)
so then he moved to our school
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwww!
That looks awfey, not to get you down, but what are the chances of ordinary leg functioning when its healed? I broke my knee a few years ago and have 3 pins screwed into my patella, I have to have another key hole surgery sometime soon to remove loose cartilage(yummy, will remember to take pics) and my knees articulation is still not back to what it was before it happened.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:41,
archived)
Well for the 2 years I had the metal in place
I lost some mobility. So yeah, I can imagine never getting back to perfect fitness........but hey, so be it.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:44,
archived)
Its pretty good
what happened? YOu should have taken the plater off before showing us tho, just for effect, dont know if it can beat my time spazzer tho :
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:32,
archived)
that was actually
a genuine spaz on my part, sorry. I'm a bit dyslexic so I get confuzzzed
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:37,
archived)
I went to another party
after the strongrooms bash, my friend was having an end of season snowboard party, loads of her mates are pro snowboarders and I angered one fo them when incredibly drunk by following him around calling him names and telling him my mum could snowboard better than he could. He tried to hit me, missed, i bitchslapped him(a right whopper) and then he clobbered me in the eye, whereupon I fell to the floor and then left in shame. Well, not really shame, I believe I was still sniggering, but I left and had a kebab.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:46,
archived)
Its a nice story
But lets be honest - you is the villain of the piece aint ya.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:48,
archived)
well...
he was a meanie, and he deserved the mocking(at least in my opinion) but I was way nasty to him, but hey, this black eye is cool!
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:52,
archived)
no offence misteralfie
but i've seen that four times now. Do you know how to make it into a link, maybe?
Cheers.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:40,
archived)
Cheers.
soz kitten shoes
maybe this would be more up your street? :
www.misteralfie.com/kittenmov.swf
Im crap at flash i know but its still got kittens on harleys in it!
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:43,
archived)
www.misteralfie.com/kittenmov.swf
Im crap at flash i know but its still got kittens on harleys in it!
may take a little while to load, its baout half a mb
you have the flash 6 player yeah?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:53,
archived)
mmm ask for the stuff
which turn to lasagne sauce when it heals the wound, that stuff is fucking foul.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:43,
archived)
I just visited a site for
mentally handicapped musisians
i'm goin to hell
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:23,
archived)
i'm goin to hell
I know the guiy who manages it
he's a pal but I'm a cunt, I might even use it as a time spaz
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:28,
archived)
yay!
got it!All good, it'll be uploaded in about a half hour I guess, the url will be
www.misteralfie.com/chickenlove.mp3
so if I go out, just try accessing it in about a half hour. Its fucking great by the way, what do you use mainly? Have you got a full midi setup at home? I have to use wavelab and I have no idea how it actually works, so my attempts are sucky, also, I couldnt get logic to open a wav or an mp3 format today... cant it do that?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:18,
archived)
www.misteralfie.com/chickenlove.mp3
so if I go out, just try accessing it in about a half hour. Its fucking great by the way, what do you use mainly? Have you got a full midi setup at home? I have to use wavelab and I have no idea how it actually works, so my attempts are sucky, also, I couldnt get logic to open a wav or an mp3 format today... cant it do that?
Cool
Glad u like
I use cubase midi with my Korg I3 along with a shedload of other audio progs.
Dunno about the problems u have - never used logic or wavelab.
Sorry
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:24,
archived)
I use cubase midi with my Korg I3 along with a shedload of other audio progs.
Dunno about the problems u have - never used logic or wavelab.
Sorry
Logics pretty good
and can open midi files, Ive never tried to use logic with wav files before so the track oin the anim I did today is pretty shoddy. Have you had a look at the flash clickie i posted below? mebbe we could colaborate on a chicken/Kitten road trip romance song!?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:29,
archived)
I tried opening it
But it wouldn't work at the time - I shall try again now.
Colaboration - no probs......let us know as and when you decide what to do
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:38,
archived)
Colaboration - no probs......let us know as and when you decide what to do
Koit!!!
im having a crisis here, i have to go watch attack of the stupid dunderheaded fetus heads with my girl and need to leave soon, do you have a hotmail account?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:04,
archived)
Don't bother
Attack of the stupid dunderheaded fetus heads II: Dunder and Lightning is far superior.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:08,
archived)
tell me about it
But we feel like going outm, what might youi suggest in the cinematically superior genre dear sir?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:09,
archived)
Have you not received the file ?
If not, don't worry I'll see if someone else can host this one today.........perhaps if you were kind enough, you could host the next one
PS - Attack of the Clones is excellent
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:11,
archived)
PS - Attack of the Clones is excellent
The one I sent to your hotmail account
has returned failed......the one to your elvis account seems ok
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:14,
archived)
hotmail have a 2mb account size
so a 3mb file would nuke it if they let you put it through.
i reckon mine would self-destruct due to spam if i left it for a week. i am going to test this as soon as they remove the outlook support
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:45,
archived)
i reckon mine would self-destruct due to spam if i left it for a week. i am going to test this as soon as they remove the outlook support
is that mind piss?
low wattage microphone impedance only required
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:08,
archived)
It's embarassing to be an American
ahhhhh.....no more of that silly monkey man that will destroy the world.....look you can see the wheels turning in his head
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:33,
archived)
I just clicked on a friends link
on their website, I wonder if he secretly works for b3ta (but I think it's supposed to make sence)
clicky
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:02,
archived)
clicky
lovely to meet you all
ive gotta go home now. thanx for having me. bye!
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:01,
archived)
thats pretty weird
have you heard the ace sound files at the bottom of the page? they rock.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:14,
archived)
sorry, I promised somebody a cookie earlier...
but I think furtive might've got it.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:56,
archived)
We have cookies here too...
...and biscuits...
mmm..biscuits...
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:10,
archived)
mmm..biscuits...
no, it's just another type of biscuit.
we have cookies here, y'know :P
That's a bit like saying Pepsi = Cola
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:10,
archived)
That's a bit like saying Pepsi = Cola
um,
i think cookies are big and have chocolate chips/nuts/toffee bits/chunks of stuff in and they're chewier.
Biscuits, meanwhile, are for dunking in tea, and are harder.
Anyway, you have that crazy word for chickpeas, you do - garbanzo beans indeed!
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:37,
archived)
Biscuits, meanwhile, are for dunking in tea, and are harder.
Anyway, you have that crazy word for chickpeas, you do - garbanzo beans indeed!
does anyone know the difference -biologically speaking- between a bean and a pea?
i've never quite seen how some things get to be peas and some things get to be beans.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:42,
archived)
im talking to a woman called
BETA on the phone - i work for a phone company
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:54,
archived)
also i found out where
Timmy Mallett lives - oh the joys of tracing agencies.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:55,
archived)
ooh popbitch!
can I play?
I've got Ewan McGregor's mobile phone number and Tara P-T lives over the road from my office.
She had a shocking bad hat on today as well, a shocking bad hat.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:39,
archived)
I've got Ewan McGregor's mobile phone number and Tara P-T lives over the road from my office.
She had a shocking bad hat on today as well, a shocking bad hat.
heck skews hem waa
does anyone have a linkypoo to the b3ta webring thingy?
mercy bow coop.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53,
archived)
mercy bow coop.
any luck yet koitus?
I still havent got an email from you in either of my edressees....?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:51,
archived)
Don't sweat just yet
Big files can take a while to move around through the mail relays.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:54,
archived)
Need some help, please!
Has anyone got a good picture of Lumpbucket (only need his head) about 300 pixels big, from a decent angle and not with anyone else blocking part of his face?
Need to cut out his face to go in my animation...either stick it on here quickly or email it to [email protected]
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:49,
archived)
Need to cut out his face to go in my animation...either stick it on here quickly or email it to [email protected]
Ooooh yeaaaah!!!
That might be just what I'm looking for...now where's that set of photos gone?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:14,
archived)
I've got one too if you like.
It's from when I put his face in a blender, but I think the picture's fairly old. Lemme know if you want it...
...and the picture too, of course. ;)
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:32,
archived)
...and the picture too, of course. ;)
Dear B3tans, I beg your advice
My housemate is driving me mad. I spent all weekend cleaning up the kitchen and tonight I come home and her and her boyfriends' dinner plates are all over the worktop even though the damn dishwasher is empty and pining to be filled. Her boyfriend's always here but doesn't pay a penny towards living costs. And the other three of us hate him and don't want him in our house one day out of seven let alone five. She leaves her bike in the lounge when we have a perfectly serviceable garage, she smokes and leaves her butts on the table for the rest of us to clean up, despite being a 'non-smoker' when she first moved in. Frankly, she's a pain in the arse to live with.
Here is the advice I beg: We want to keep the house (contract comes up in August) but get rid of her. Rather than just say outright "We fucking hate you, never darken our door again," how do we construct an ITV-sitcom style scenario which forces her to leave?
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:44,
archived)
Here is the advice I beg: We want to keep the house (contract comes up in August) but get rid of her. Rather than just say outright "We fucking hate you, never darken our door again," how do we construct an ITV-sitcom style scenario which forces her to leave?
maybe a monster hitler
to annexe the lebensraum (living room?)
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:46,
archived)
Excellent idea
Can anyone lend me a dollar? I'm skint from supporting her sponging arrogant tosser of a boyfriend.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:47,
archived)
If the contract is due to expire,
fake an official letter, saying you all have to find somewhere else to live, keep up this fascade (ooh big word!) until she (and her boyf) finds somewhere else to live (you can even make her believe you are all moving out, packed and ready) when she's out, and comfortable in her new surroundings, tell her there was a clerical error, and you are all moving back in.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:00,
archived)
I think
if we can get agreement we're just going to ask her to leave. I don't want to live here if she is.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:04,
archived)
And don't think I haven't considered it
But we have to let the room to someone else afterwards.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:48,
archived)
Although...
it does act as a warning to the next bastard to come along.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:51,
archived)
change the locks, paint the door
pump her full of lsd, spin her round n round in circles outside and all run away giggling.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:50,
archived)
YES!
That's a winner.
A lesson for life: B3ta is the fount of all good advice.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:50,
archived)
A lesson for life: B3ta is the fount of all good advice.
Tell her
that she's been nominated for eviction from the house...
everybody's doing it.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:51,
archived)
everybody's doing it.
*strokes chin*
Glass bars outside her door and a barbecue in the garden. Sounds tempting but all that would happen is that the garden would end up a shit-tip.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53,
archived)
honeslty
unknown, Ive been in the same boat, but with a welsh girl so it was an even more dangerous propostion, basically there is no easy way, the only way is to straight out tell her you dont like her being in the house anymore - and the rest of your flatmates included - this solidarity will be the most shaming thing, and although she'll never speak to you again, thats pretty much what you want anyway.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:56,
archived)
I'm hoping it won't come to that
But I know she got chucked out of her last place for more or less the same reasons. You'd think she'd learn. I'll have to get the others together and start conspiring.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:57,
archived)
are you all
non-smoking, is it a non-smoking house? 'cos then you could get all "you're smoking, out!" with her.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:52,
archived)
Well the contract forbids resident smokers
So we could get her on that, but we don't want to seem nasty, we want her to choose to move out.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:53,
archived)
Just have the landlord
come round at a choice time when she's the only one smokin'.
Or just fill her bed with cement when she's asleep in it.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:59,
archived)
Or just fill her bed with cement when she's asleep in it.
Got it...
Tell her that her boyfriend is hitting on one of your other flatmates, and that, er, she's coming on to him too because she's aroused by all the cigarette smoke and dirty plates.
That should fix the boyf, cigs and dishes problems all in one fell swoop.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:59,
archived)
That should fix the boyf, cigs and dishes problems all in one fell swoop.
Problems:
1. The rest of us are all boys
2. We're all straight. Well I have my suspicions about one of them but he's so good at blowjobs I would never confront him.
3. Doesn't tie the bike in.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:03,
archived)
2. We're all straight. Well I have my suspicions about one of them but he's so good at blowjobs I would never confront him.
3. Doesn't tie the bike in.
Next time she leaves a dirty
plate in the kitchen pick it up and smash it over her head. Fag butts up the nose.
Seriously, the only way you're gonna get her out is by ganging up on her. Who cares if she never speaks to you again, or chucks paint on the front door on her way out? She's the one being the pain in the arse, not you lot, so don't let her intimidate you all.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:09,
archived)
Seriously, the only way you're gonna get her out is by ganging up on her. Who cares if she never speaks to you again, or chucks paint on the front door on her way out? She's the one being the pain in the arse, not you lot, so don't let her intimidate you all.
demand
that the boyfriend pays rent, and double the amount because there are two of them.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:29,
archived)
Ive been
doodling in flash today, drinking shitloads of cofee and came up with this, its a bit glitchy, and I have a crap voice, but its cute and it has kittens, and a furtive, and harley davidsons, so Its not all bad. Watch it you'se!!!
www.misteralfie.com/kittenmov.swf
edit - just realised when i checked it in explorer, VERY VERY VERY GLITCHY! wasnt like that in the test!
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:40,
archived)
www.misteralfie.com/kittenmov.swf
edit - just realised when i checked it in explorer, VERY VERY VERY GLITCHY! wasnt like that in the test!
yay!
someone looked, its me singin yea, I really need to improve in flash so Im giving myself little projects to get better.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:58,
archived)
its way better
than anything i can do. (though thats not saying much)
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:05,
archived)
yeah really!
quit fucking around on b3ta and go pick up your rockstar career where you left it idling...
woo
yay!
EDIT: no wait! KEEP fucking around on b3ta AND go become a famous popstar. yeah. and then make millions and give us free webspace.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:03,
archived)
woo
yay!
EDIT: no wait! KEEP fucking around on b3ta AND go become a famous popstar. yeah. and then make millions and give us free webspace.
how
uttertly, utterly chilled. gonna have to seriously reconsidermy opinion of cats.
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:05,
archived)
I reckon
that could make top of the paps i do, free riding kittens baby yeah!
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 19:24,
archived)
I've not been here today so
possible class gock
news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/england/newsid_2035000/2035578.stm
Not April 1st today is it?
"Mustapha Riat said he had been woken in his ground-floor flat on Sunday morning to find a large figure with five-foot hairy arms towering over him."
( ,
Mon 10 Jun 2002, 18:39,
archived)
news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/england/newsid_2035000/2035578.stm
Not April 1st today is it?
"Mustapha Riat said he had been woken in his ground-floor flat on Sunday morning to find a large figure with five-foot hairy arms towering over him."
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