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# You could try e-mailing
[email protected]

Or visit one of his many creations at www.sumsonic.com

He's very good y'know

"One for all and a half for everyone else"
(The Mongoteer, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:58, archived)
# Acid test of how justified my faith in this comunity is and whether I've made a tit of myself in the eyes of a personal hero
Right. Last night I got drunk, and told techno legend Darren Emerson (international DJ superstar and previously one third of underworld)that we as a community could do his site for him better than the consultants he was going to hire, and in return for personal kudos rather than cash. I may have gone too far.
Are any of you guys up for working with Darren Emerson in return for personal kudos (credits, links, talks in the pub) rather than money? I know we could do it better than any agency, and he is a legend, anyone in?
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:41, archived)
# "in return for personal kudos rather than cash"
Genius.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:45, archived)
# You're jaded
take a step back, forget your london media whore life- it's darren fucking emerson. the techno god. the man who provided a large proportion of the soundtrack to the nineties. he's the fucking man.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:53, archived)
# Sorry Joel.
Didn't mean to be sarcastic, but there is no b3ta from 21st of March without solving this hosting issue.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:59, archived)
# Don't know much
but it's not unrealistic to suggest that if the site was a success, you could take that style/identity on to the record sleeves etc, charging the record company a commission.

Also, if that provoked other people to want sites/designs, people who'd actually pay, couldn't b3ta evolve into something similar to the companies that rent out processing power, except with creativity - ie you buy a certain amount of exposure time to the b3ta community.
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:21, archived)
# I wouldn't want any commission
Just to be able to say you helped built his site would be good enough for me. (maybe a link to snakey on there though!)
Something to put on your CV innit?
(Nacho, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:25, archived)
# Me too
but with all this bandwidth talk,I thought it might be a way of getting the revenue in without killing the site.

The best thing is that nobody would have to do anything they wouldn't do for free anyway, but by doing they'd be keeping the site going.
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:34, archived)
# Just a thought.
Would the cost of consultants roughly equate to 116GB per month?
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:51, archived)
# I'd offer to help but
Who is Darren Emerson?
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:53, archived)
# lager lager lager ("Born Slippy")
remember the choon?
(Nacho, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:58, archived)
# oh yes
anthem of my student days.
(james, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:11, archived)
# "I'd like...
"...a vodka tonic, 2 packets of crisps and four pints of lager, lager, lager...etc"
It was you wasn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Your Mum, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:12, archived)
# aaaAAAaah
right.
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:20, archived)
# Yeah, I'll colaborate with you/him
Any Flash/Photshop/html you need, Crab Bloke, just let me know.
Would need someone elses help on Javascripting/php/abc and xyz though
(Nacho, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:57, archived)
# That is very cool
I'd love to help with any writing that needs doing.
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:08, archived)
# I'd gladly donate
some scripting/interface design to the project...
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:13, archived)
# If, for whatever reason...
...any 3D stuff needs doing, my meagre skills are yours for the abusing.
(sasquatch, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:19, archived)
# I have so much respect
For this site and every contibutor, that I think it would be the best site ever made.
THis probably sounds gushing, but I've just been made redundant, which I was more than happy about, but Spike's death was life's way of making me feel the appropriate emotions.
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:23, archived)
# That is a good idea
Isn't Darren Emerson part of the Tomato design agency. If so, how come he's getting other people to do his site?

Just wondered
(I helped save b3ta! pete, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:40, archived)
# No.
The other two are/were. He wasn't.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:42, archived)
# Was that
Lake and Palmer?
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:48, archived)
# I seem to remember spending
a w/e in Wales with some of the Tomato people...
I can't say I formed a great opinion of them personally.

Mostly 'cos I was living on £6000 a year at the time and they were dribbling cash out of their orifices.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:52, archived)
# I'll do whatever I can
to help, but I'm a student lowlife so that's not much :(
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 8:04, archived)
# B3ta Stats for Feb
Successful Hits For Entire Site 8,715,530
Average Hits Per Day 335,212
Home Page Hits 120,996
Page Views (Impressions) 769,289
Average Per Day 29,588
Average Visit Length 00:18:30
Unique Visitors 160,293
Visitors Who Visited Once 132,689
Visitors Who Visited More Than Once 27,604
Data transfered: 116 GB

This is desperate. Who is going to supply 116GB+ per month for no cash?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:37, archived)
# fuck...
...ing hell!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:48, archived)
# How much are we talking for 116 GB?
I for one have no idea what that costs.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:49, archived)
# Most UK ISPs seem to charge
£10 per Gig for a co-located server...

US ones seem a bit cheaper, but still lots of money.

Rob - where is the biggest hit coming from? Looking at the code for the board, each post carries a 700byte overhead with all that repeated JavaScript... just moving that to a function would save a lot of bytes.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:56, archived)
# Roughly half from html files
& half from the viral swf content.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:00, archived)
# if every regular on this board
could host a viral swf each, then could that help to halve b3ta's bandwidth without impacting too much on everyone elses?

I have two hosts so I can take 2 big files if that would help.
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:24, archived)
# Or move the javascript out into randomly selected files from different hosts.
Difficult to maintain, heath-robinson load-balancing approach to it, but hey - it's an idea.
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:34, archived)
# westmaster.com
will do 150Gb for $595/mo
clicky

Not free, but that £425 a month which is a bit less than b3ta is incurring at the moment, isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:51, archived)
# Hmmm
12 x 425 = £5100

Hmm. If we could get 500 people to pay £10 per year... Argh!
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:53, archived)
# Tell me where to send it
and it's in the post
(I helped save b3ta! pabulum, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:00, archived)
# That goes for me
too.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:01, archived)
# Thanks Guys.
At the moment I am fielding for opinion/options rather than cash. Currently there is a partner in the b3ta project who hasn't handed ownership of the project over. I can't actually raise cash until this happens. Hopefully this will be soon.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:06, archived)
# 500 "Friends of b3ta"
really doesn't seem that many when you look at the figures.
It's less than 2% of those visiting more than once this month.
There definitely seems to be a very willing hard core, without having to make it a subscription site.
(I helped save b3ta! pabulum, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:13, archived)
# To be honest...
At 85p a month, who would say no?
(sasquatch, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:00, archived)
# That's a
"yes, I'm in", by the way
(sasquatch, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:06, archived)
# They are even cheaper
if you go for a slow server and pay bandwidth separately:

here they list a PIII with 128Mb ram for $45 a month, and 162Gb transfer for $240 a month...

roughly 200 quid a month.

Mostly they seem to host 'adult' sites :)
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:00, archived)
# mate,
i'd pay £10 a month if it meant you could carry on without everyone having to subscribe.
(redifusion, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:06, archived)
# Yep. I'd rather an appeal / Guardian Angel
over a subscribe route.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:11, archived)
# I'll pay
I'm more of a lurker than anything else(due to an alarming lack of photoshop skills), but this site keeps me sane in my mindnumbingly dull job, so I'll happily contribute.
(I helped save b3ta! Monkeyboy, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:56, archived)
# I'd pay
my tenner for the year, no worries. Hows about an annual appeal like on Blue Peter?
(I helped save b3ta! Stella_R_Twa, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:15, archived)
# Perhaps....
... We could all donate and then get a special little symbol next to our username, like they do on Popbitch. So we can feel superior.

P.S. How do Popbitch fund their bandwidth?
(I helped save b3ta! blah, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:19, archived)
# guess who thought up the PB appeal?
It was me. Yay. (but I was only ripping off the blogger appeal.)

Anyway PB have said that they'd help promote a b3ta appeal, but as I said I need to get permission from mysterious partner before going ahead.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:22, archived)
# Oh...
... I'll get back in my box.

Is this 'mysterious partner' Stephen Byers by an chance? He seems to be involved in everything recently.
(I helped save b3ta! blah, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:28, archived)
# In fact
that's about the only thing he hasn't denied
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:34, archived)
# I'm in for a tenner.
Also have an Internet dummy suggestion.

I don't have a clue how it really works, but I know you guys do.

I've got my own domain with it's own bandwith limit, and for sure I never get near hitting it.

I'd happily chuck in that (1gb). What I innocently imagine is some clever script running one my site, or yours, which could use the bandwidth from mine (and anybody elses who wants to donate theirs).

Is that feasible? Could you do that without either party losing control?

Otherwise, I've got about 40mb of space, you're welcome to chuck any bits and pieces you want to into that, and again, I'm sure there are others prepared to do the same . . . right guys?
(I helped save b3ta! Not Pineapple anymore, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:42, archived)
# aye
I've got 30Mb of reliable space sitting almost unused with unlimited bandwidth.
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:53, archived)
# Anyone notice the slow evolution of
the BBC's page about Spike's death?
The current version has two sub heads 'Dearest Friend' and 'Unmatched'.

A few minutes ago, they were 'Irritated' and 'Derogatory' - and I've got screen captures to prove it :)
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:27, archived)
# on a lighter note,
Paul from Sclub7, is caught puffin again !!

(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:10, archived)
# What's your favourite Spike comedy moment?..
Ned - [Puts on lots of disguise parefenalia to avoid police] There! Now they'll never recognise us!

(Opens door to copper)

Police - Ned Seagoon?

Ned - Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:04, archived)
# The jackanory stories
he did in the eighties.
not as great as the goons, but genius, nevertheless.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:07, archived)
# Seagoon getting a medical
Doctor (Moriaty): open wide ... thankyou ... and swallow
Seagoon: gulp.. ack.. what was that?
Doctor: cigarette ash - I didn't want to get it on the carpet. Thankyou, I now pronounce you 100% fat.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:08, archived)
# Moriarty and Grytpype-Thyne have conned Ned into drinking Loch Lomond
Ned - It's no good, I'll have to stop - I'm feeling faint!

Moriarty - Faint? You feel faint? Here, drink this glass of water!

Ned - Thanks (gulp, gulp, gulp..)
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:12, archived)
# Oh and 'Hitler, my part in his downfall'
I was shown in to the captain's office by the sergeant. The officer sat behind a table decorated with a merry grey blanket in a room lit by a 40 watt light bulb that, when lit, made the room darker.

Officer "Milligan is it? Why are you wearing civilian clothes?"
Milligan "Well, they wouldn't let me on the train naked, sir"
Sergeant "SILENCE when you speak to an officer"
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:12, archived)
# I thought of a Hitler based poem last night
but I'm not going to post it cos I'm trying to be clean today (apart from the bag of chips comment).
(Nacho, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:59, archived)
# ooh <font color="blue">go on</font>
go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on!

I for one remain unoffended by all, with the possible exception of Burnley fans...
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 7:59, archived)
# Doctor Foster fell down a well
And broke his collarbone
But doctors should attend the sick
And leave the well alone


Also Goons - woman leaves room
Neddy - will she be safe?
Eccles - with a face like that she'd be safe in Portsmouth on payday
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:13, archived)
# Remember
Q?
(I helped save b3ta! pabulum, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:19, archived)
# my
favourite, had all the videos i could get, they were my favorite, it was tottaly un PC, but nothing could top the total surrealnes of the pakistani daleks......
(redifusion, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:25, archived)
# Put Him In The Curry!
in dalek voice.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:30, archived)
# Too much to chooses from...
but this always makes me chuckle

BILL: Seagoon and Bluebottle travelled by sea. To avoid detection by enemy U-boats they spoke German throughout the voyage, heavily disguised as Spaniards.

PETER: As an added precaution they travelled on separate decks and wore separate shoes on different occasions.

SEAGOON: The ship was disguised as a train - to make the train seaworthy it was done up to look like a boat and painted to appear like a tram.

SPIKE: .. All rather confusing, really.
(sasquatch, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:31, archived)
# shit and bugger
Spike Milligan is dead.
RIP you great loon.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:54, archived)
# sad news. anybody want to photoshop a tribute?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:52, archived)
# for spike. ying tong yiddle i po

sad but brief
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:03, archived)
# very very sad news indeed.
-
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:55, archived)
# Oh poo
Playing a Goon Show now in his honour.

I think I'm going to cry
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:55, archived)
# In Spike's own words
The Greatest
(From the Sydney Sun-Herald)
Describe yourself in three words:
"Pretty damn good."
What is your greatest achievement?
"Making people laugh."
And your most embarrassing moment?
"I'm still waiting for it to happen."
Do you have a motto?
"Straight on."
Finish this sentence: If I ruled the world...
"I'd surrender."
(I helped save b3ta! pabulum, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:14, archived)
# On hearing that Harry Seacombe had died...
'My God, that means I'm next!'
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:22, archived)
# "Money can't buy friends,
but you can get a better class of enemy."
(I helped save b3ta! pabulum, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:37, archived)
# The world
is a darker place without him.
(james, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:15, archived)
# i'm
going to cry... =(
(redifusion, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:17, archived)
# :((
What can I say? That is terrible news :(

Although if Spike saw that article, I'm sure he'd say "I didn't know I had a family of liver failure!".

Rest in peace Spike! You were a purveyor of the finest sillyness and I salute you!
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:34, archived)
# "what would you like written on your headstone"
"I told you I wasn't well"
- Spike Milligan

they genuinely don't make em like that anymore
(I helped save b3ta! bazman, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:42, archived)
# that really is the saddest part of this
-
(I helped save b3ta! izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:49, archived)
# well,
they never made any others like him then either. He was a one off.
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 6:13, archived)
# funny...
http://www.hecklers.com/christina/
(I helped save b3ta! andy206, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:42, archived)
# Ummm
Beadle, bastard
Just putting this up here for Nerf... Mervellous!
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:32, archived)
# i would have laughed
if i had been sober this morning!
always a good sign!
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:37, archived)
# Anyone watching the Enron auction?
My boss wanted me to see if we could pick up some flat screen monitors...

People are buying 15" NEC LCDs for £400 + 10% auction premium + VAT.

Misco have them for 449 + VAT + del.

Boy this is fun. Press '1' to bid, press '#' to stop bidding. I'm going to be on the phone all day.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:32, archived)
# Does this woman seriously
expect to win the suit against Nintendo? And what a complete and utter sadcase her son was :)

www.theregister.co.uk/content/54/24220.html
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:21, archived)
# Bugger...
15megs is down again... Anyone know any hosting that is
a) free
b) not pants
c) easy to use when you're drunk
(i'm not drunk now btw, it's 10am...)

ta.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:03, archived)
# I've gone back
to lycos, coz it works through this darn firewall.

If you can FTP, you could always use netfirms...
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:07, archived)
# Well
I've tried some others, haven't really tried Tripod yet tho. Getting some decent hosting space soon anyway, 'cos I'm sort of doing a website (yet to start it yet, but hey)
but thanx for that, you're the chap!!
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:17, archived)
# Good morning all
I have just been sent this by a mate and it is most definately woooooooo and yayyyyyy!!!! both at the same time.

www.flashcan.com/animator/

FLASH VIDEO MIXING!!!!

Woooo
(I helped save b3ta! Ted, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 3:07, archived)
# Good Morning - Help required....
I'm looking for a pic which I think was posted here a few weeks back. It's of a guy holding a cat in place of his willy.
Please post it if possible.
Cheers.
(Frankie, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 2:50, archived)
[challenge entry] Gold-Medal Eating...
(oinsain, Tue 26 Feb 2002, 22:00, archived)
# Aaaaaaaaaargh
This is freaking me out :)

Someone post enough stuff to lose this in the archives ;))
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:06, archived)
# Youze..
got a real purdy mouth boy..
(Jamsie, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 4:28, archived)
# iack
Lucky they who gets to take over these gold medals after this guy sucked on them!
(Froggy, Wed 27 Feb 2002, 5:43, archived)

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