![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: Jobs for Jesus"){kind=small}
That’s it I’m closing this bureau…for an hour
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🎶 Why do three kings suddenly appear 🎶
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A.I. Jesus kneeling in a pothole while praying for the safe return of his teeth.
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Captain Howdy,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 12:44,
archived)
Exactly…he was a carpenter not a dentist. It is pretty fucking awful though. Really shouldn’t do these first thing in the morning without my glasses
(,
Sun 19 Apr 2026, 7:02,
archived)
Can someone make this?Every now and then I make something, just because it's got into my head and won't go away until I get it out.
An example would be this thing I did last year, which had literally been on my mind since 1979. youtu.be/Y1HtCZo5LH8?si=a_-FWwDSZrca15FR
Now I have a thing in my mind but
(a) I have no idea how to realise it (I have NOT considered putting the question to AI) but
(b) I'm pretty sure someone on here will know how.
The idea is just this:
I'm a parent of a 5 year old. He *loves* Numberblocks on CeeBeebies. If you don't know it, it's one of those shows that worth the licence fee on its own.
The theme tune is annoyingly catchy.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyngSr5svDI
Now: I have two things in my head about this, and I'd be very, very happy to hear them done "properly" if someone can.
First: The opening. I've got my boy singing "One two three four (sound of vomiting) ! Chunderblocks! Six seven eight nine (sound of vomiting)! Chunderblocks!".
I have no idea how to isolate the backing track of the theme tune and no musical talent to sing over it... which brings us onto:
Second: Stuck firmly in my head is the idea of having the theme tune never end, or at least go on for far longer than is comfortable. It's fairly important it starts out sounding as close to the original as possible, but then just... keeps going.
As in the lyrics would be:
"One! And another one is
Two! And another one is
Three! And another one is
Four! And another one is
Five! And another one is
Six! And another one is
Seven! And another one is
Eight! And another one is
Nine! And another one is
Ten! And another one is
Eleven! And another one is
Twelve! And another one is
Thirteen! And another one is"
And so on, going down a note on each line until it goes beyond the range of human hearing and into infrasound.
Is this possible? Can someone do it?
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to exorcise this musical demon from my mind by making this audio happen. As a side benefit, it will completely blow the mind of my youngest, who is called Cosmo.
Thanks in advance to anyone who can and does achieve this.
(,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 10:23,
archived)
An example would be this thing I did last year, which had literally been on my mind since 1979. youtu.be/Y1HtCZo5LH8?si=a_-FWwDSZrca15FR
Now I have a thing in my mind but
(a) I have no idea how to realise it (I have NOT considered putting the question to AI) but
(b) I'm pretty sure someone on here will know how.
The idea is just this:
I'm a parent of a 5 year old. He *loves* Numberblocks on CeeBeebies. If you don't know it, it's one of those shows that worth the licence fee on its own.
The theme tune is annoyingly catchy.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyngSr5svDI
Now: I have two things in my head about this, and I'd be very, very happy to hear them done "properly" if someone can.
First: The opening. I've got my boy singing "One two three four (sound of vomiting) ! Chunderblocks! Six seven eight nine (sound of vomiting)! Chunderblocks!".
I have no idea how to isolate the backing track of the theme tune and no musical talent to sing over it... which brings us onto:
Second: Stuck firmly in my head is the idea of having the theme tune never end, or at least go on for far longer than is comfortable. It's fairly important it starts out sounding as close to the original as possible, but then just... keeps going.
As in the lyrics would be:
"One! And another one is
Two! And another one is
Three! And another one is
Four! And another one is
Five! And another one is
Six! And another one is
Seven! And another one is
Eight! And another one is
Nine! And another one is
Ten! And another one is
Eleven! And another one is
Twelve! And another one is
Thirteen! And another one is"
And so on, going down a note on each line until it goes beyond the range of human hearing and into infrasound.
Is this possible? Can someone do it?
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to exorcise this musical demon from my mind by making this audio happen. As a side benefit, it will completely blow the mind of my youngest, who is called Cosmo.
Thanks in advance to anyone who can and does achieve this.
Sorry Palreally busy atm.......
(
claptonista ,the idiot boy..........🫥,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 11:24,
archived)
Please... ... do not imagine there is any sense of urgency here. I had been kinda thinking about the Rolf Harris/M video for 45 years.
Any time in the next 3 years or so would be amazing.
(,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 11:51,
archived)
Any time in the next 3 years or so would be amazing.
for number 2 you could record yourself doing the lyrics then use something like Audacity to change speed and pitch after each 'is'caveat: there's probably simpler tools these days, simply doubling speed and pitch might create something inaudible quite quickly
manual.audacityteam.org/man/change_speed.html
(,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 12:54,
archived)
manual.audacityteam.org/man/change_speed.html
AgreeI recently saw that Audacity has a free plugin called OpenVINO. It separates vocal and backing tracks. Haven’t tried it, but then you’re part of the way.
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pallimut Ancient Lurker,
Sun 19 Apr 2026, 6:37,
archived)
You want something like Melodynewhich can isolate separate parts in a single recording and let you edit the notes, and remove parts altogether. You could easily make your instrumental version like that. It's about 600 quid, so pirate it.
Then you can either sing it yourself, burn a rainforest and evaporate a great lake with bullshit AI vocals that everyone will hate, or use a Vocaloid/robot singer that only 90% of people will hate.
(Then you can either sing it yourself, burn a rainforest and evaporate a great lake with bullshit AI vocals that everyone will hate, or use a Vocaloid/robot singer that only 90% of people will hate.
brb Monkhouse Stampede,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 15:51,
archived)
1: commissioning people is a thing2: WAWYNBEB?
How to isolate the music for making your own edit: click here and follow the on-screen prompts
A repeating song going on forever and getting higher has already be done the best possible way: Dolly's "I Will Always Love You" with about a dozen extra key changes tacked on the end. Can't find a link right now sadly
(How to isolate the music for making your own edit: click here and follow the on-screen prompts
A repeating song going on forever and getting higher has already be done the best possible way: Dolly's "I Will Always Love You" with about a dozen extra key changes tacked on the end. Can't find a link right now sadly
JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks,
Sun 19 Apr 2026, 7:56,
archived)
Coincidentally, I just watched an old sketch from Big Train, just like this, but they moved and made noises.
(,
Sun 19 Apr 2026, 10:14,
archived)
Other social media. Not here. You guys are too whipsnap sharp for this kind of bullshit.
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Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana.,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 8:15,
archived)
NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE - JOBS FOR JESUS
What jobs would Jesus be good at other than carpentry? Turn Christ into Mr Benn and show us what he'd bring to his various new roles. Suggested by HappyToast.
monkeon schmonkeon,
Fri 17 Apr 2026, 22:04,
archived)
One day the "Jesus saves, Mohammed scores on the rebound" joke will come trueI was hoping for it with Salah at Liverpool, but I don't think there are many South American goalies
(,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 7:26,
archived)
I hear South America is full of them.
( Rapscallion is it fashion or disease?,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 10:16,
archived)
Jesus loves youNice to hear in church, terrifying to hear in Mexican prison
(,
Sun 19 Apr 2026, 10:19,
archived)
Somebody said "alien," and Vasquez thought they meant "illegal" and signed up.The actress who played Vasquez, Jenette Goldstein, actually thought it would be about illegal migrants when she went to the audition.
Turned out there was a lot more shooting and goo than she expected.
(,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 0:47,
archived)
Turned out there was a lot more shooting and goo than she expected.
she's been running her own lingerie shop for hugely chested women for a good few years now www.jenettebras.com/about
(,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 1:05,
archived)
Great Link! Thanks!The amazing thing about women is that, apart from height, underneath the fleshy adornments their skeletons are all the same size.
Don't ask me how I know.
(,
Sat 18 Apr 2026, 9:41,
archived)
Don't ask me how I know.
Plenty of space for a ballroom too...
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Puromycin is still licking windows,
Fri 17 Apr 2026, 16:45,
archived)
if it weren't for kimmeli'd have no idea.
now that i do, i wish i still didn't.
(,
Fri 17 Apr 2026, 9:03,
archived)
now that i do, i wish i still didn't.
He would never wear that gay protest hat.
TRUMP 2028
atomic A-bomb-a-nation,
Fri 17 Apr 2026, 1:33,
archived)
Real men don't have irrational fear of gay people.Weird that a fan of Trump should have homophobia, for massively obvious reasons.
TBH atomic, as you're an out homophobic racist sexist cunt now I don't want anything more to do with you.
Die well, and as soon as possible!
(TBH atomic, as you're an out homophobic racist sexist cunt now I don't want anything more to do with you.
Die well, and as soon as possible!
brb Monkhouse Stampede,
Fri 17 Apr 2026, 15:39,
archived)
Aww…that’s not very nice. You’re a Blue Meanie. XDBye cupcake. o/
( atomic A-bomb-a-nation,
Fri 17 Apr 2026, 16:05,
archived)
God Speed Spoon Family :)
prodigy69 My brain has too many tabs open,
Thu 16 Apr 2026, 14:34,
archived)
quiet round here :)ning ninj
( prodigy69 My brain has too many tabs open,
Fri 17 Apr 2026, 12:49,
archived)
I thought that was Jim from Friday Night Dinner.In the red cardi, not Darth Vader.
Wilson!
(,
Fri 17 Apr 2026, 17:17,
archived)
Wilson!
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