I remember lurking for about 2 years before finally making an account.

-goes back into lurkage-
( Cukeasaurus was once known as Misanthropy., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

The amount of people I have met in real life from this place is vast
and everyone of them has been a thoroughly lovely person. That it is all
( Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

over 8 years of laughs here, and still only a handful of posts
but my fave has to be flap tiem. www.b3ta.com/board/7551074 or teh fear www.b3ta.com/board/68689

i also enjoyed vorks drawings - sadly, they have been lost to the internet graveyard. www.b3ta.com/~vork

that, and getting pissed at manchester bashes.

[edit2] Just found this by Vork, Dogfish & twohundredpercent - This probably sums it up. Touchy Feely Spacktards (sorry about megaswf link)

[edit] Vork classics (more of what i can find in thread..)



( lemoncurry alright., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:05, 9 replies)

i was looking for something better
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Sad thing is that as I have been a member for 9 years and 6 months (and a lurker for a good few months before then)
I honestly cannot recall how I found out about B3ta.I think it may have been a picture I saw somewhere with a link back to this place and that was the start of my daily ritual of seeing what this place was doing before making stuff of my own to post on here.

The quality of things I have seen on here has been fantastic (and the people who created them deservedly move onto telly/film/advertising) and regardless of the lows and highs, this place continues to make me laugh on a daily basis.

Not only that but this is one of the few places left where if you think of something funny (regardless of the subject matter) you know there will be others on here who find it funny as well.

AND if you see anything which you may dislike then just leave it a few minutes and something else will come along you will.

B3ta has always had a very sick spine to it and long may that continue!

Thanks B3ta and happy birthday.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I remember
when all this was fields
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

The lovely Evil Lu introduced me to this lovely site.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:55, 2 replies)

Something to do during compiles and log scans
My job at the time wasn't boring, but having to compile on a 143MHz Sun machine sure took some time.
Cybo started it all for me, and his career really took off. Yay! for Cybo.
( moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Cor, a decade, really?
I used to post on here. Some happy days. Happy birthday B3ta xx
( Dekazer, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:54, 2 replies)

Blimey.
I've been on here for 8 years 9 months so I missed the start by just over a year.

8 years and 9 months and I still haven't donated. I do feel a bit cuntish about that. Will rectify soon.
( Evil Bastardo, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)

I used to browse b3ta on my Speccy

( Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I hate this place.
You're all cunts.

Oh and I found this place through ebay, funnily enough. Someone was selling wierd shit on there and I found spiderman will make you gay on one of his pages which led me here.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:47, 3 replies)

I think I found the side much like everybody else,
I did a search for "Multi-breasted Porn" some when 2002 and b3ta happened to have a link in it's Top Ten Rude Things feature:
web.archive.org/web/20030301153406/http://www.b3ta.com/features/rude/

Good old times.
( Wurst Puns Inc. Back in the future., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Bashes
I urge all n00bs to go to a bash

I've met some absolutely gorgeous lovelies who I consider true friends, just by travelling to a strange city and getting drunk with people I've never even seen before.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:43, 5 replies)

My introduction to the site was the fish song
I can still remember the words:

I'm a fucking fish and I'm not fucking funny
I'm fucking irritating and I'm bought by fucking cunts.
They think it's funny
But it's fucking not.
They're fucking cunts
Why don't they just fuck off.

Thank you for the many lols, b3ta. xx

EDIT: www2.b3ta.com/fish/
( cupboardy, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:42, 1 reply)

Nice people I've met on b3ta


Dotmund did the cover for my first book, because this picture made me snort coffee out of my nose. Cheers, bloke!

Also, I like egg.

Also also: Send Dotmund money, and he will probably draw things for you. He is very good at drawing things.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:42, 2 replies)

giblets
I met my future wife on here, and also met a whole load of lovely people.
A mate of mine introduced me, something along the lines of "check this site out, it's fucking mental", he only made the one post, which made it to the front page, the bastard
( munkt0n, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)

My strangest memory would be
spending an afternoon looking for mummified cocks in the Royal College of Surgeons' Hunterian Museum with my bestest friends (both met on here) Dave the Hat and Tipassoi
( Ptolemy the man with the silent pea, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:37, 1 reply)

I genuinely can't remember how I found this place.
Glad I did though, it's completely and utterly smashing. Happy 10th birthday B3ta!
(tomsk, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:36, 3 replies)

fucking hell 10 years?
I've been around for nearly 8 of them - I bookmarked my first post (saddo) and looking at it, I've realised that I'm still good friends with three of the people who replied to me, and I'm going to the wedding of HP and his lovely lady next year.

www.b3ta.com/board/2259107

Snogs to everyone; and MOAR KITTENS.

edit: I've read that back, and it looks like I only have three friends. Facebook tells me otherwise, so NER.
(dominocat opinions only valid until, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I honestly can't remember how I stumbled on to b3ta
and I still can't find the door out

lovely people (not including the ones that aren't) and very inspirational.

Thanks for everything that you've done and everything you've made me do
( HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Christ!
If it wasn't for B3ta I'd still be working in a tyre warehouse, crying myself to sleep. B3ta got me some early drawing work, that then made me make the decision to go full time with being a pen monkey. Also if it wasn't for Rob I'd never have attempted to do stand up, so GAWD BLESS YOU B3TA AND ALL WHO SAIL IN YOU!
Met some thoroughly lovely bastards on here, and Dotmund, who is a disgrace.
So thank you for letting me hang out with you fucking oddballs, cunts, social misfits, geeks and webtards for so long.

as you were
( mushybees NEBUSHI SHANGHUNG!, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:33, 6 replies)

i was drawn here
by cursor bunny love.

i had to sign up in order to play it.
( Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:33, 3 replies)

I remember when this was all about:blanks
Happy birthday b3ta, thanks for making me feel accepted
( c_kick or, as some people call him, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Happy birthday b3ta
You are the best thing I ever did. Cop a load of this, and bask in your magnificence.

dotmund.blogspot.com/2011/09/on-b3ta.html
( dotmund .co.uk, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)

YAY
DJ'ing at an early B3ta do in Kentish Town with someone called DJ SpunkyBackPack which I thought was the awesomest DJ name ever.
( pilchardboy, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:32, 1 reply)

I remember when B3ta used to be funny

( Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:32, 3 replies)

I remember when all this was housing estates

( HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Second.
I'm old. I'm allowed to be a git.

Nine and a half years ago, I wrote a post-it note which was then stuck just above my Powerbook. It said, simply, 'Get off b3ta and stop procrastinating.' It stayed there for years. Says it all really.

Best things I've ever seen on this site:

This is one of my favourite threads: www.b3ta.com/board/565074
and this is one of my favourite pics: b3ta.com/board/5629686

Thanks for ten years of timewasting, b3ta. It's been ace.
( trumpet, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:30, 3 replies)

FIRST!
LOL

I still have the email/blackmail note from Rob in which he demanded money and women in exchange for my joining the B3TA QOTW team. I still owe him money and women, because "in a bath covered in quicklime" doesn't count. While it was entirely Danny Baker's fault that I started writing the funny, it was QOTW that kept me doing it, every day for ten years. And I'm still not rich.

Also: Three FPs in 9 years, 5 months and 11 days. That's low-quality hummus in action, because I can't fucking hummus

Also also: Best thing about B3TA is receiving an email from the kind of friend who won't stop sending you email jokes days - WEEKS - after news event with a funny-stroke-sick image you saw on B3TA the day it happened. That smug feeling. That "I was there" feeling. For any event - no matter how terrible - it's never too soon on B3TA, and you know it.

Also Also Also: Putting up the new QOTW and crying with laughter as you guys & gals post top, top stories. Don't care if they're real or (cough) embellished, B3TA makes me happy.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 10:28, 2 replies)