Dunno why no-one has mentioned this yet
The Brian Blessed Interview

Epic Rob giggling like a schoolgirl skills :) Re-linked in case somehow you've been in a coma for 520 weeks.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Happy birthday to b3ta - been mostly lurking for 9 years, 0 months and 8 days (counting)

- All I can say is that when I post my "adverts" for my Shed competition - I only get a few very rude remarks and it normally makes the newsletter (as Rob is a not so secret sheddie) which I am very grateful, Most of you (original members) are that certain age now (kids, mortgage & divorce) and now sheds - so we have grown together.

(I should buy an advert next time)

on another note - my Son is always saying - did you see that great song/video/fluff on the web the other day - and 7.4 times out of 10 it originated here, so you have nursed a generation at your creative bosom.

thanks -
( unclewilco, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 16:28, 4 replies)

Yeah yeah I married the sister of a fellow b3tan 2 years ago
And loads of b3tans turned up for the wedding.
But I have met some of the nicest people I have ever made friends with through this forum and some of the wrongest people too. But most I love. Some of the bashes have been great! Good times!
Thank you Rob, Cal, Denise and all x
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 16:07, 1 reply)

I've been here like many others for years
I found it in March 2002, with rathergood.com, then grew up, lost my net connection and forgot about it until I rejoined a few years back. Fuck knows how I found it again, but I'm very glad I did.

Thanks for all the laughs guys, even the people I think are wankers. This place wouldn't be the fun it is without you.

I don't often post any more for a number of personal reasons - I'm not feeling too chirpy after losing my family again, and descending to my usual escape from everything. However, it's temporary, and this place keeps me happy in the meantime.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 13 Sep 2011, 15:26, 5 replies)

I found the site through a forum for ringtones.
I didn't quite get the open threaded nature of the board, I stuck around and started to understand it. I made some good friends and attended many bashes getting drunk in the company of some of the best people.

It's changed my life in that I have a number of tattoos that are from stuff that has been posted or is attributed all the boards, including my somewhat scary and infamous user id finger tattoo.

I love the fact that almost nothing is sacred and that people can praise and teat strips off each other within the same threads.

eight and a half years is a long time on any site.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 15:17, 3 replies)

It's all good gravy
Officially been here for over 3 years but I've been around since nearly the start (lost username and email after a long break). It was one friday afternoon after having beer instead of sandwiches for lunch, a colleague showed me the wonder that is B3ta, then he went on to have severe mental issues for a couple of years.
Thanks all for making it what is, a odd slice of life.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 15:04, 1 reply)

I'm usually here just for the excellent, imformative and useful top tippery...
However, on occasion some genius stories have had me greatly amused.

Such as worst things I have done with a penis: www.b3ta.com/questions/pythonshame/post389790
And cougars, this one is a bit out there: www.b3ta.com/questions/cougars/post323958
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Not me but the wife...
I can't remember when i first found it BUT I do remember when I first introduced the wife to B3TA and that the internet was less about serious stuff - more about WASTING TIME WHILE AT WORK (and she realised i was a lazy fucker while not at home too) ;

It was when I showed her 'Independent Woman - played by kittens' by Joel Veitch. Even now, it kills me.

Well Done B3TA - DOWN WITH PRODUCTIVITY!
(TheManofScience, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

A Relative Noob
I've only been here a scant 19 months. Not sure why it took me that long to cotton on, but I stumbled across b3ta one day and stuck around because you lot made me laugh.

I don't post often and don't get uproarious laughter when I do, but it feels like I get to contribute in my own small way, which is nice, really.

And it's a fuck of a sight better than my job, which could bore the comatose.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:16, 1 reply)

Retired Members Lounge
can someone tell me more about this?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:10, 5 replies)

Happy decade of wrongness celebration thingy
I stumbled on this place some six years ago and I spent many an otherwise dreary lunchbreak reading all of your poo stories and wanking disasters. After lurking for a while I signed up and started submitting my own awful QOTW stories.

It wasn't long before b3ta got me into trouble, my then boss found and printed a post I'd submitted two minutes before the official start of my lunchtime and waved the evidence under my nose during an appraisal. The matter was never pursued further, which is fortunate considering that I subsequently discovered that the boss in question had been posting here during working hours too!

Since then I've seen my fair share of QOTW autisms posts and have been to innumerable bashes over the years. It's like being in a concentrated microcosm of like minded folk, for the most part you're even funnier, zanier and friendlier in person than in print. Of course, there are the occasional walking autisms and internet bullies too, much like IRL although it is somewhat of a surprise to discover that the most notorious of the latter is actually a disarmingly nice and quietly spoken chap who looks like The Laughing Cavalier.

I can't even begin to make a list of everyone on here to whom I owe a debt of gratitude, for it'll take all day and I have to pay an entire Opera company today so I'll keep it brief.

Pooflake - thank you for all of pathos, the metaphors and the non-stop belly laughs. Your posts were the high point of many a QOTW.

Big Girl's Blouse - a hearty thank you for being unwaveringly lovely over the years and for inviting a bunch of weirdos off teh internet into your home. And then inviting us all back again.

DG & Tourettes - As above, but with more swearing, boob obsessed chimpanzees, sharp suits and Daleks.

Rob - for making it all happen.

And lastly, I'd like to thank the lovely chickenlady for her love, her wisdom and tireless support and for putting out up with me for the last four years.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:53, Reply)

i am old
i am user 126. wtf and how did that happen? i think i stumbled here from a link from a mail from a friend. the giggles from the potatoshop aces and from the early memes drag me back.
i claim my long-lurker prize.
( raver, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

It was Stevenson's fault. Jada.
Jada led me here, 9 years, 8 months and 22 days ago. The next few years saw some of the funniest stuff on the net come out of b3ta every day... I don;t think I ever made anything in that category, but I contributed plenty of chuckleworthy material at least.

I made a lot of good friends here, many of whom I subsequently met... some I still haven't after 7, 8, 9 years... Like many of them, I don't post often these days and haven't shopped anything for the board in yonks. But I wander by now and again.

I remember some of the early bashes in London... including the time rob managed to hire a corridor with a bar in it.

As some of us lost our hummus and mosied off to other messageboards to chat (this was pre-/talk), some of these distant acquaintances became very close friends. When I cracked up in 2007, a messageboard saved my life. (no fucking DJ's turned up, take note... messageboards are more use than DJs when you're losing it, no matter what the song says).

I made friends for life through b3ta, which makes it pretty special if you ask me.
( chaotic_illuminator proud spacehopperist, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:48, 1 reply)

i found b3ta from a link on popbitch
i was a trainee solicitor in a team that had no work and the link was to the "accidental animal cruelty" qotw which made me spend all day reading it and going, oh LOL. the rest is big-titted knicker-flashing beakering history (and that's just rob).

i have met some lovely friends on here and have dated a few of the guys, some of whom are great and a couple of whom are... not. unless by "great" you mean "shit in bed".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:34, Reply)

I first sent Rob a shitty flash anim I did of a man beating a duck to death...
That was around 4 years ago. I didn't get the whole 'you can have your stuff hosted on the interweb and link it to different sites 'n stuff'. Now I do I love it. I'm a lightweight user though but have been fortunate to have a couple of my images FP'd and I won an image challenege with my Gillette Face Fuckerupperer.

I love the way /board works and mutates and have witnessed some truly memorable things, none of which I can remember right now. Ooo, this last weekends 9/11 Flounce was hilarious by an unnamed /board member. All the bandwagons and memes that spring out of the site are superb and the creativity is second to none.

Long may it last! Woo and indeed a bit of yay! Happee Birfday b3ta!
( addickted has attained freedom, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Well, I invented b3ta

Obviously.
( mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Happy Birthday :)
I found this site just under 8 years ago, literally sitting in work waiting for the end of the shift (which was at 2am at the time). After seeing a few things I liked here I added to the favourites and, like most of you guys eventually made my first few posts present (and got made to look like a right cunt in the process lol). Still though I come back, noticing that once you looked past the abuse, the odd trolling cunt and dark humour there were a group of people who were a good bunch of lads/lasses to be found.

Seen a load of real funny things on here; also read alot of great stories (whether it be fact or fiction) and made a few friends in the process too.

Thanks peeps :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Happy Birthday B3ta!
9 years, 5 months and 21 days, Christ. I'd just joined the civil service and was a bit bored so my line manager showed me this ace website he'd found and we spend weeks giggling like loons. I'm still in the snivel service at pretty much the same grade as I have been ruined for hard work by places like this.

I wanted to be able to Photoshop kittens too so I found a shonky copy and started to learn. A few years later I got a graphics tablet and I have since contributed art for a few small press comics and have my own art-work online. It's all thanks to this place.

I've also got lots of (online mainly but that's because I am an anti-social git these days) friends as a result of the notorious early bashes. I can't listen to Laibach without thinking about Joel's Stomping Kittens.

I found this - I stole it off someone and it's 6 years out but it is appropriate:


It's been lovely seeing so many old names - I feel a bit soppy now. Thanks to everyone who bought me drinks when I was undergoing financial apocalypse. I've nearly paid the debts off and life is much easier now. Those concerned made those early months so much easier with your kindnesss. /emotionalspacker
( Staticgirl, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)

B3ta got my career started... And were quite abusive when I first got here.
One of my early animations featured in the newsletter, then I got an email from MTV2 asking if I would be interested in them showing my animations across Europe (which naturally I thought must be a wind-up at first). It turned out to be true, kick starting seven years as a professional animator, web & games designer running my own business. I then got a job with a couple of major games development companies and now teach games design for a living as well as still doing freelance writing and games design consultancy.

I literally would not be where I am now (very happy doing a creative, social job) without B3ta.

I first got here when I had created my first ever game ( www.matazone.co.uk/animpages/arm_wrestling_freud.html ). I created an account and logged on to the board. I posted a message telling people about the game I had made and received a torrent of abuse. What had I done wrong? Apparently it had been linked to on the front page a few days earlier. GLASSCOCK! Things got a bit better when someone pointed out 'hang on chaps, he's actually the bloke who made it...' and I've been here pretty much every day for the 9 years 2 days since.
( Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:58, 4 replies)

Nearly five years on B3ta.
Where did the years go?

I was once pure and unsullied, (honest). But years of Tub girl, goatse and various other internet horrors you are pointed towards have worn away my suger coated exterior of innocence and left a hard, bitter and raw shell of a woman. Seen it all, done some of it and still left wanting. My eyes have been opened to things mere mortals cannot imagine and I am ruined. I have laughed till my eyes bled at the horror of life and the human condition and I have cried at the injustice of /talk.

One day when I am too old and incapable to use a computer I will leave this place and leave behind the catalyst that made me the monster that I have become.

I will have no regrets, only a strange aftertaste.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Happy Birthday B3ta!
I lurked for a rather long time before actually creating an account and posting.

I've read some truly wonderful stories on here, some of which I've used in real life conversation as 'my own', or as a 'oh, a friend told me this happened the other day' anecdote. Come on, i'm sure we all have....

Somehow, I've managed to get a few top posts in QoTW entries, which is always nice - a bonus to be included in the newsletter.

One image that I remember first seeing when i came to the site(but not sure who created it) is of a woman with a burnt face next to a lean, mean grilling machine with the caption 'It's so good, I put my face on it'. I decided to hang around after seeing that.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Happy Birthday B3ta
9 years, 1 month and 18 days and my only regret is not signing up when I first started lurking - otherwise I would have had a coveted low three digit user number.

Highlights have included two, entirely undeserved, front pages and two mentions in the newsletter. The first of which - for www.tiddles.co.uk - broke my web server within eight hours.

There have been zillions of favourite pictures; but if I was forced at gun point to pick one it would be this one from the very talented Zak McFlimby:

b3ta.com/board/1750482
( splorp ®, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:31, 2 replies)

Happy 10th B'day B3ta
loved the site from the first glimpse of it.
i used to love the banter Bovine and I had, early stages of a bromance.
I've been a member for over 9 years now and still love reading the the site.
Keep it up B3ta you old f*cker!
xxxxxxx
( M@rkoni, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:26, Reply)

A long time ago on a b3ta board far, far away..
I joined b3ta.com some 8 years and 3 months ago, doesn't seem that long and I couldn't honestly say how long it was before I signed up for an account but it's not something I'll regret - So many hours of genuine laughter from some of the most talented people on the internet along with the weekly newsletters which are almost guaranteed to hold some classic meme you'll see posted to mainstream media 3 months later.

Happy Birthday B3TA!! Here's to another ten years!! :)

Jimmer.
( Jimmer still not dead at, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I first heard about B3ta in 2004
For 2 years I production managed a weird but funny tv series for C4/E4 about celebrities essentially being twazocks. But this series needed animators to do the cartoon reconstructions (of celebrities taking heroin/shagging transexual prostitutes/hanging off a door handle to have a wank etc).

This was where I met three wonderful chaps who were regulars on b3ta and they introduced me to this wonderful place/time trap. I lurked for five years and finally joined in 2009, posting a really crap PS'd pic of my parrot dressed as a pimp.

The welcome was warm as then as it is now (like the flow of wee down a nan's leg), with a side order of cunt.

Thank you b3ta - thank you for improving my shopping skills, and thank you for all the lovely b3tans out there.

*kisses you all*
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:40, 1 reply)

It's been 6 years and 12 days
since I signed myself up to B3ta, but I'd been a lurker for a lot longer. I found it via rathergood.com, where Joel mentioned it as a good place for posting one's own work. I think it was a few months before I even realised there was more to B3ta than /board. I've posted a few stories and links, met some lovely people at bashes, and although I don't come here as often as I used to, I know that if I ever need cheering up, a quick visit to B3ta is generally the tonic I need.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Memories...
Ahhhh... I remember well.

I joined the site as a green young thing with no experience. Shy to post, long a lurker. Like many I am sure.

My involvement grew during a dark period of my life, suffering depression and an awful job. The friendships I formed here got me through.

I remember the glomping, the never ending threads about 9/11, the debates about religion. I remember the mods, Flashiepants, Dom & Pele. I even remember when the "Retired Members Lounge" was introduced to entice back old folks like me...

Oh shit. Wrong board.
(russet_gusset up the reds, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:10, 1 reply)

10 years of my life I'll never get back
I've spent the last 10 years of my working life basing important career decisions on whether my desk would be room facing with my back to the wall ensuring uninterrupted, undetected B3ta perusal in all its full screen glory. Strangely, it only occurred to me to actually sign up after 8 and a half years.

Happy birthday B3ta, and thank you for holding me back and disappointing my mother, in the most entertaining way.
(DBS, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I spent many years
questing through the internet, looking for places to waste time, and eventually, a couple of years back, someone sent me a link to the Man Milk or Moo Milk Quiz, and I've never looked back.

As a potted history:

Favourite pic I've liked: HollyWould's Gazza www.b3ta.com/board/9288921
Favourite link: Cassetteboy www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yxi6QDwQyLU
Favourite QOTW: IT Support. And not just because I was top: www.b3ta.com/questions/helpdesk/
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I have a 2.1 thanks to b3ta
At the University of West of England (UWE), there used to be a degree called culture and media studies. Being Lazy, I opted go here, rather than the accepting the other offer I had of PPE at Oxford. One module for this Media Studies degree was called Digital Media. Now given how intellectually difficult a media studies degree is, the Uni decided to limit the workshop for this module to one sitting of 60 minutes a week; to save our overworked brains from shrivelling under the pressure. Whilst this must sound pretty much how you would imagine a west country media degree to play out, you may be surprised to learn that for pretty much the full 60 mins each week, the Lecturer focused pretty much entirely around showing us movies, image challenges and of course the odd mandatory Goatsees on the B3ta site. I shit you not. Best 9 grand I ever spent.

I then lurked for about 5 years before getting an account and coming out with a story on qotw about foreskins.
( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:55, 2 replies)